Eve (11 page)

And she had already started that cycle.

She had been so confident that if she was careful and worked hard, she could have it all.

She had not been careful enough, and it might destroy her.

Unless she destroyed the child she and John Gallo had created from that passion that had seemed worth any risk.

No.

The rejection was so strong that she felt almost ill again.

“Eve?” Sandra’s gaze was on her face. “It’s the only thing to do, honey. Believe me, I know how hard it is to raise a kid. It drains you…” She added quickly, “Not that you weren’t a sweet little baby. But toting you and picking you up from charity day-care centers. Working for minimum wage just to eat. It never seemed to stop. Everyone needs a little fun in their life.”

And that scared fifteen-year-old girl maybe more than others. Eve had never realized how vulnerable Sandra had been all those years of Eve’s childhood. “I’ll think about it, Sandra.”

“You do that.” She stood up. “We’ll talk about it in the morning. I’ll be ready to go with you.” She headed for the bedroom. “Then maybe we’ll stop and have lunch. If you have enough money. I’m broke again. Money just seems to run right through my fingers.”

On dope. But Sandra hadn’t seemed to be on anything that night. Or if she had, it hadn’t been obvious. She had been sincere and gentle, and if Eve hadn’t been so upset, she would have been touched.

She was touched, she realized. Admit it. She was only trying to harden her heart to Sandra because she’d been hurt so many times before. Strange, she didn’t usually admit that Sandra could hurt her, even to herself. Maybe she felt a kinship because of the baby she was carrying. But how could that be when the child wasn’t even real to her yet?

She wouldn’t tear this feeling apart and examine it. She had needed someone, and Sandra had been there. It hadn’t happened for years. Maybe that had been partly her fault. She had withdrawn from Sandra when she had realized that she couldn’t trust her to be there for her. How long ago? She couldn’t remember.

And she didn’t want to think about Sandra just then. It was time she stopped sitting in the dark and feeling sorry for herself. She had to make a choice whether to give up and let life run over her as it had Sandra or fight back.

There was no choice. She would rather step in front of a train than let herself be beaten down by what had happened to her. She had to find a way to cope.

All right, sit still. Let herself get over the shock and pain of what had happened to her first.

No. Nothing had “happened” to her. She couldn’t blame anyone, not even fate. She had been so dizzy with the need for him that she hadn’t been thinking clearly and coolly as she usually did. She had done this herself by lust and stupidity and overconfidence. Accept it and go on.

And try desperately to find a way out of this web that was about to smother her.

*   *   *

EVE HAD ALREADY SHOWERED
and dressed the next morning by the time Sandra wandered into the living room.

“Not sick? You must have slept. You look better than me.” Sandra yawned. “But then I never was a morning person.”

“There’s orange juice in the fridge,” Eve said. “No bacon. But you can make toast. No, I’ll make it while you get dressed.”

“You’re in a hurry.” Sandra looked at her. “Those Planned Parenthood offices don’t open until after nine, Eve. We’ve got time.”

“I’m not going to have an abortion.” She put bread in the toaster. “But I still need you to go to school with me and see the guidance counselor.”

“Eve, you don’t know what it’s like to have to take care of a baby. You need to—”

“No, I don’t know. But I may find out.” She got out the orange juice. “Or maybe not. I haven’t decided if I’m going to put the baby up for adoption. It might be better for both of us. If I don’t see a way out for us, I won’t bring the baby into the same situation that trapped both of us, Sandra.”

“That could work,” Sandra said. “But it would be hard for you. Look what kind of mess Rosa Desprando is going through. She should have given up Manuel.”

“That’s what her father says.” She set the orange juice on the table. “But I’m not Rosa, and I’ll make up my own mind. I’m going to get through this.”

“An abortion would—”

“No, Sandra. I may not be practical, but I can’t do it. I’m not going to make a kid pay for my mistake.”

Sandra sat down at the table. “So what am I supposed to do?”

“I’m going to drop out of school. I won’t be ashamed for the other kids to know, but it’s not practical for me to try to get through when I’ll be big as a house. But I want to start working on my GED right away. Then by the time I have the baby, I’ll have my GED and can try to get into college.”

“You’re still going to try to go to college?” Sandra was shaking her head. “It’s just not possible, Eve.”

“Watch me. It’s possible. Come with me to the guidance counselor, and we’ll get a jump start on that GED. I have a straight-A average, and they’ll probably look on me as a lost lamb. If I go in there alone, they’d turn the social workers loose on me.” She met Sandra’s eyes. “I need you. Will you help me?”

Sandra nodded. “Of course, honey. Just let me have breakfast and shower, then we’ll go.”

“Try to hurry.” She turned away. “I have a lot to do today. Before we go to school, I want to go to a doctor and make sure I’m not doing all of this for nothing. Though that would be too lucky.”

“You have it all planned out.”

“I have to have a plan. It’s the only way we can survive.”

“We?”

“My baby and me.” She glanced back over her shoulder. “And maybe you, Sandra. If you want to go through this with me.”

“You want me?”

She told the truth that she had stopped admitting to herself years ago. “I’ve always wanted you.”

Sandra smiled brilliantly. “Then you’ve got me.” She stood up. “And I’ll dress real quick. Do you think I should wear my new pink dress? I do love it. Or maybe the navy blue one would make me look more serious.”

“The pink one,” Eve said. “Be yourself. To hell with being serious. There’s going to be enough of that in our lives.”

*   *   *

AFTER SHE FINISHED WITH THE
guidance counselor, she left her mother at the apartment and took a bus to the restaurant. She went directly to the office.

George Kimble looked up at her entrance. “You’re looking pretty good. Teresa said you were sick. Flu?”

“I feel okay.” She drew a deep breath. “But it’s not flu. I’m pregnant.”

“So?” He looked her up and down. “You don’t look far along. Are you resigning?”

“No. I’m asking for more hours. I just quit school, and I need the work.”

“And I don’t need someone who gets sick all the time and has to go home. You put me in a bad spot last night.”

“It won’t happen again.”

He leaned back in his chair and shook his head. “Who was it? That kid who kept coming in here and picking you up?”

“Yes.”

“Won’t he help you out?”

“I’m not asking.”

He wearily shook his head. “You kids. You could have the whole world at your feet, and you throw it away. I like you, Eve. I thought you had your head in the right place.”

“I guess I didn’t. I do now. Will you give me those hours?”

“It’s not good business. I couldn’t rely on you.”

“You can rely on me.” She put her hands on the desk and leaned toward him. “I want a twelve-hour shift. I’ll be here every day, without fail. If someone else doesn’t show up, I’ll work a double. I’ll be the most valuable employee you have, Mr. Kimble. Yes, I may get sick, but I won’t let it interfere. I’ll be here. Most of the time, it doesn’t last during the entire pregnancy. I’ll work through it.”

“So you say.”

“Look at me.” She held his eyes. “I made a mistake, but I’m not going to let it hold me down. I’ll be working on my GED, but having a baby isn’t cheap, and I need that money. Afterward, I’m going to hold you to your word about working around my hours while I go to college. I’m not asking for charity. You’re going to get your money’s worth, more than your money’s worth. Now do I get my twelve-hour shift?”

He didn’t speak for a moment. “You get it. Show up tomorrow at 1
P.M.
” He looked down at the papers on his desk. “Now get out of here.”

She turned to go.

“Eve.”

She looked back at him.

“If you think I’m going to be soft on you, forget it. I’m going to work your ass off.”

She nodded and walked out of the office.

It had been easier than she’d thought it would be. But that didn’t mean that Mr. Kimble wouldn’t toss her out if she didn’t follow through.

She would follow through.

“You okay?” Teresa asked, her gaze on the office door. “Did he fire you?”

“No. He gave me extra hours. I start tomorrow.”

“Really? Then do you want to see Linda’s doctor?”

“No, I’m going to have the baby.” She turned toward the door. “It’s going to be all right, Teresa.”

“Yeah, sure.”

She couldn’t convince Teresa when she had to work everything out for herself. “I have to leave now. The doctor gave me all kinds of vitamins and stuff to pick up from the drugstore.” She opened the door. “I’ve got to have everything set up before I start working full-time. See you tomorrow.”

She started toward the bus stop down the block. Then she stopped. It was ten blocks from here to the housing development. The doctor had said she needed exercise. It would save money if she walked it whenever possible. She was going to need every penny. Sandra had said she’d get a job, but she couldn’t count on her promises. She had to keep on relying only on herself as she’d always done.

She turned and started down Peachtree Street. Every step was a confirmation that this was the route she had to go. She had to build her strength if she was going to keep to the schedule she’d set for herself. She had to build her strength to keep the baby strong. She had to find ways to do both. Challenge herself to get through this and come out with all the prizes.

Very grand, she thought ruefully. The only prize she was after was to get home and hope that Sandra was still there and had not flitted off as she usually did.

A small prize, a small step, but she would take it. She would work on the giant steps later.

Six months later

“There’s a man downstairs who wants to talk to you,” Rosa said, when Eve opened the door. “I left him on my bench in the yard. Nice man. He said he’d come upstairs, but he has a bad back.”

“Who is he?” Eve asked. She didn’t really have time to talk to anyone. She had to finish this paper for her English class before she left for work. “Salesman?”

“I don’t think so.” She frowned. “He doesn’t have that slick look. I didn’t get his name. He sort of reminds me of someone.”

“That’s a help.” She came out on the landing and started down the steps. “Look, Rosa, you were supposed to be studying with me this morning and not sitting with the baby on that bench.”

“But he needs the sunshine.”

“And you need your GED. And you’re going to get it. I want you here tomorrow morning.”

“Okay.” She made a face. “You didn’t used to be so bossy.”

“Yes, I was. I just didn’t have time to concentrate on it.” She called back to her, “Now I make the time.”

Rosa leaned over the railing. “Your baby is going to come out of you cracking a whip.”

She grinned as she opened the front door. “I’ll take the chance. That will be two of us to nag you.”

She was still smiling as she turned to the man sitting on the bench. “Hello, I’m Eve Duncan. What can—” She inhaled sharply.

He sort of reminds me of someone.

He was a thin man in his late forties or early fifties, with thinning gray-brown hair and olive skin and dark eyes.

John Gallo’s eyes.

“How do you do? I’m Ted Danner.” The man got to his feet with an effort. “I’m sorry to make you come down. I just couldn’t face those flights of stairs. John may have told you that I have back problems.”

“You’re his uncle Ted.” She moistened her lips, trying to recover from the shock. “Yes, he said you injured it while you were in the service.”

“I thought he’d tell you about me. We’re very close.” He smiled gently. “He’s like my own son. He’s a good boy.”

“Why are you here?”

“He asked me to come.”

Another shock. “What?”

“Well, actually, he asked me to keep an eye on you when he left for basic. He said that I shouldn’t approach you, that you’d resent it.”

“But you’re here.”

“I tried to keep myself from coming. But I had to talk to you.” He looked at the front of her maternity smock. “I saw you on the street three weeks ago, and I was … surprised. How far are you along?”

“Eight months.”

“And it’s John’s child?”