Eve and Her Sisters (35 page)

‘What is it?’ She stood up at Daisy’s approach, holding a sleepy Alexander in her arms.‘What’s wrong?’

‘Oh, Miss Eve . . .’ Daisy was so worked up she had reverted to addressing Eve as she’d done before Eve had married Howard. ‘There’s two policemen at the house. They want to talk to you.’

‘What about?’ She was already walking swiftly, holding Alexander to her and causing Daisy to trot at her side.

‘I don’t know, they wouldn’t say. Only that they had to talk to you and it was imperative they speak to you straightaway. I said I thought you’d be somewhere here and they said to fetch you but not to worry you,’ Daisy gabbled.

‘They gave you no indication what it was about?’

‘No, miss - ma’am - they just said they’d wait till I come back. I looked over by the aviary first but you weren’t there, and then I thought that master Alexander likes seeing the water in the fountain so I come here.’

‘It’s all right, Daisy.’

‘Elsie, Elsie’s made them a cup of tea,’ Daisy panted.

‘Good, good.’

Eve was on the verge of collapse by the time she reached the house although it was only a short walk from the park. But Alexander was heavy and the afternoon was very warm. Her mind had been screaming all the way home but even her worst fears could not have prepared her for what she was about to hear.

One of the constables sat her down and the other saw to it that Daisy took Alexander to the nursery and Elsie was sitting beside her, holding her hand, before he said, ‘There has been an accident, Mrs Ingram.’

Eve stared at him, her eyes dry and wide. ‘My son?’

‘It appears from witnesses at the scene that your son was sailing his boat when it got caught by the current and was swept away and out into the main swell of the river. They said your husband called to the boy to stop but the youngster overbalanced and fell into the water.Your . . . your husband jumped in after him.’

Eve continued to stare into the constable’s face. It was a sad face.Was it normally sad? She asked herself, or was it sad because of the news he had to impart? And then a voice she didn’t recognise as hers, said again, ‘My son?’

‘I’m afraid your son and husband were recovered too late, Mrs Ingram. It was the current.Their rescuers were keen swimmers and even they had a battle to stay afloat. I am very sorry.’

She heard Elsie make a kind of whimpering noise at her side but it didn’t penetrate the void in her head. ‘No, you’re wrong. My son and husband will be home shortly.’

When John Wynford appeared in the room, she didn’t realise for a moment that the policemen must have arranged it so. She looked up into the familiar face. ‘John, they are saying . . .’

‘I know.’ He knelt down in front of her. ‘And you must be very brave.’

‘No.’ It wasn’t true. Oliver couldn’t be dead. He was just a little boy. ‘No, they will be home in time for tea.’

‘Eve, it was an accident.’

‘No.’ It couldn’t be true. Just a few hours ago she had stood in the hall and kissed them both. They had been warm and alive and breathing, they couldn’t be dead. It wasn’t possible. She thought she heard John say, ‘She’s going, give me my bag quick,’ but then the rushing darkness surrounded her and she let herself fall into it.

When she came to, she was lying on the couch in front of the fire in the drawing room where she had spoken to the constables, only they weren’t there. John was sitting by her side, holding her hand, and immediately she opened her eyes, he said, ‘I want you to swallow this, Eve. It will help you sleep.’

‘I don’t want to sleep.’

‘Yes, you do. Drink it down, it won’t hurt you.’

She swallowed the draught rather than argue with him. ‘It’s not true, John. They’re mistaken.’

‘Lie back and shut your eyes.’

‘I don’t want to shut my eyes. I have to sort this out.’

‘In a little while.’

‘No, now.’

She made to move from the couch but he took her hands, his voice firm as he said, ‘Eve, listen to me. They are gone, there is nothing you can do. Howard died trying to save his son which is the way he would have wanted it. It was an accident, a tragic accident.’

‘No.’ There was a feeling rising up in her which had no expression, so violent was it. She felt her body wasn’t strong enough to contain the grief and rage and horror, that she would break into a hundred pieces. ‘No, I have to get to them.’

‘Howard would have wanted you to be strong for Alexander.’

What was he talking about? Eve snatched her hands away. ‘I want to see my son. I have to see Oliver, he needs me.’

She swung her feet off the couch but as she tried to stand up she fell and would have pitched into the fire but for John catching her. ‘Sit down, that’s a strong sedative. Just relax, that’s all you have to do.’

Was he mad? She had to sort out this terrible mistake first, she couldn’t sleep. Her voice a moan, she said, ‘I want my baby, my Oliver. You have to help me.’

‘I’ll help you. Of course I’ll help you. But first you must rest, all right?’

‘You promise? I have to see them, John. Now.’

‘Yes, yes, I know.’

A heaviness was blanketing her limbs, a weight on them she couldn’t fight. Through the incredible feeling of exhaustion she heard Elsie’s voice say, ‘Oh, Dr Wynford, how is she?’ and John reply, ‘I’ve given her enough to knock out a horse, she should sleep until tomorrow morning.’ And then the whirling in her head took over and she was spun away.

 

When she next opened her eyes she was in her own bed and the room was in semi-darkness, the blinds drawn. She turned her head and looked to the side of her. Nell was sitting on a chair. Her sister’s eyes were shut.

It was true. The terrible dreams she’d had. Oliver had drowned in the river. Howard too.That was why Nell was here. They must have sent for her. Now, far from fighting the sleeping draught, she let herself fall back into the heavy softness, knowing she wanted to sleep forever.

When she next came to, the light on her closed eyelids was bright. She lay for some moments without opening her eyes, her mind dull but still aware of what had befallen her.Then she forced her lids open. Nell was still sitting in the chair but now she was awake and looking at her.

‘You’re awake,’ her sister said softly. ‘That’s good.’

‘Where’s Alexander?’

‘He’s all right. Daisy is playing with him in the nursery. How-how do you feel?’

Eve didn’t answer this. Struggling to sit up, she said, ‘I have to see Alexander.’

‘I promise you he’s all right, lass. He doesn’t know anything about what’s happened.’

Eve shut her eyes tightly. ‘I can’t bear it, Nell. I can’t. I’ll go mad, I know I will.’

The next moment she was gathered up in Nell’s arms. ‘I know, I know. I don’t know what to say, lass. It’s cruel, cruel.’

Yes, it was cruel. And wrong. Oliver was only a little boy.And Howard, he had been so kind, so good. ‘I want to die too, I want to be with Oliver.’

‘But you won’t because Alexander needs you.’

She clung to Nell as the tears came in a flood that poured out of her eyes and nose and mouth. She couldn’t breathe, she didn’t want to breathe and yet life went on even though she wanted it to stop. But how was she going to get through the rest of her life without her baby? Never to see his little face again, to hear his laugh. She couldn’t do it, she couldn’t. She would go mad, insane.

It was a long time later before she was still and they continued to sit wrapped in each other’s arms. ‘I can’t bear it, Nell. I can’t. Even for Alexander.’

‘You can.’ Nell moved her away slightly, her own face red and puffy. ‘And you will. I know you better than you know yourself.’

‘How could Howard let it happen? How could he let him fall into the water?’

‘Lass, it was one of those things, an accident. There were some blokes on the other side of the river and they said Oliver ran along the side of the stream shouting for his boat and just didn’t stop when he reached the river bank. Howard had been shouting for him to stop but it was like the lad didn’t hear him.’

‘He was so proud of his boat,’ Eve said dully. ‘He would have been frantic at the thought of losing it. But we would have bought him another.’

‘I know, I know. Anyway, Howard jumped straight in after him and was holding him when the current took them away. It happened real fast, they said. And these blokes went in an’ all and between them they got them out but it was too late. One of these blokes nearly copped it an’ all apparently.’

Eve was resting with her back against Nell’s chest, her sister’s arms tight round her. ‘What am I going to do, Nell?’

‘I don’t know, lass, but I do know Alexander needs you. He’s been asking for you all morning.’

‘What’s the time?’

‘Gone eleven.’

‘Eleven o’clock?’ Eve sat up straighter. ‘He always likes to come into our bed for a morning cuddle. Oliver too.’ She made a tortured sound in her throat. ‘How am I going to tell him? He adored his daddy and brother.’

‘I’ll be with you, lass, all the time, and I’ll stay as long as I’m needed. Toby’s mam’s took the bairns and she’ll keep ’em for as long as I want. They’ll be all right with her.’

‘He had just learnt his numbers up to twenty. He was the first one in his class to do it.’

‘Oh, lass.’

Eve turned into her sister’s embrace again and now she hung on to Nell as though she would never let her go.

The funeral was over. The black carriage pulled by black plumed horses had carried Oliver and Howard to the church where Eve and Howard had been married, and the cortège had been endless. There had only been one coffin, Eve had wanted father and son to be buried together. The previous night she had spent in the morning room where Howard and Oliver were laid out. Only Nell knew that Eve had lifted her son from his father’s side and held him close to her heart through the night hours. It was the last time she would see his little face, his dimpled hands, be able to stroke his thick curls and touch his lips. He had looked as though he was peacefully asleep but it was a cold, frozen sleep, but still she had held him, praying for a miracle the whole time. Praying that somehow his little heart would start beating again, that he would open his eyes, that warmth would flow back into his body.

But now everyone who had come back to the house had left and only Nell and Toby remained with Eve. Howard’s parents and one of his brothers had put in an appearance at the church, but Eve had barely spoken two words to them. They had cut Howard from their lives when he was alive and it was too late now to show remorse. Not that they had. They had been very cool and distant, three aloof cold-eyed figures who had neither offered comfort nor appeared to need it. It had been the first time Eve had laid eyes on any of Howard’s family and when they had introduced themselves at the graveside she had inclined her head and thanked them for coming and moved on. She wanted nothing to do with them.

Contrary to what she knew was expected of her, she had not brought Alexander to the church. Neither had she made her son kiss his father and brother when they had been laid out in the morning room, as was the custom. She didn’t care what people thought, she knew Alexander better than anyone and he was unlike Oliver in that he was highly strung and sensitive. She had sat him on her knee the day after the accident and explained his daddy and brother had gone to heaven together and that she and Alexander had to look after each other now. One day they would all be together again but until then Mammy would always be here for him. He had been satisfied with this. Anything else she did not consider necessary for a two-year-old.

‘Eve, you must eat something.’ Nell was holding her hands as they sat on the couch in the drawing room and Toby was sitting in an armchair opposite them, his rough big-nosed face troubled. For a moment at the graveside he had thought Eve was going to throw herself into the ground with her son and husband. Indeed she looked as though she had died herself. She had never had much flesh on her bones but now her skin seemed as though it was stretched to breaking point over her nose and cheekbones, and her green eyes were almost black with the depth of her suffering. He knew Nell was worried to death about her sister.

‘I’m all right, dear.’ Eve squeezed Nell’s hands. ‘I couldn’t eat right now.’

‘You haven’t eaten for days, just the odd bowl of soup won’t sustain you.’

‘I’ll eat tomorrow.’ And then Eve seemed to rouse herself as she said, ‘You must go home with Toby today, Nell. Your bairns need you and you can do nothing more here. I don’t know how I would have got through the last few days without you and I can never repay you for your care and love, but I have to get on with life now. For Alexander.’

‘I’m staying a bit longer.’ Nell glanced at her husband who nodded. ‘Just until . . .’ She had been going to say until Eve was more like herself, but would she ever be herself again after this? ‘Until you’re eating a bit and sleeping again.’

‘There’s no need, Nell. You can’t leave the bairns any longer. It’s not fair on Toby’s mam.’

‘Lass, I’m not budging for a while. All right? Toby’s mam’s coping fine with ’em. Apparently she’s got our Betsy out of nappies in the day and I’ve been trying to do that all summer. I’m staying a bit longer and we’ll see how things go.’

‘You’re very good.’ Eve glanced at her brother-in-law. ‘Both of you.’

‘Good be blowed.You’re my sister and I love you,’ Nell said stoutly.

Toby cleared his throat. ‘Nell will stay as long as you want her to, lass. We’re agreed on that. A week, a month, it don’t matter, so don’t fret.’

The kindness in his face brought tears to Eve’s eyes but she blinked them away. She had cried an ocean over the last week. She had to try and pull herself together. At least during the day. At night when she was alone she could cry but it upset Alexander if he saw her weeping.