Evenfall (88 page)

He stopped talking for a while and stared into space, eyes narrowed slightly. When Boyd just looked at him encouragingly, Sin just shook his head before going on. When he spoke, he didn't seem particularly upset about what he was saying; there was no hostility at all in his voice.

"From the beginning of my training he taught me the importance of distrust. He taught me not to sleep too soundly because it was the most vulnerable time and anyone could slip in and kill me in the dark. He would come into my room while I slept and attack me-- it was my biggest failure for many years. If I complained of an injury he would exploit his knowledge of it while we sparred-- teaching me to never show weakness in front of others, no matter who they are, to never trust the people closest to me or open up to them too much."

At that, Sin's gaze flicked over to Boyd and he smirked slightly, ironically.

"Anyway, he was sure that someday I would be everything he'd hoped; with time and practice, I would become the agent he'd never been. Already I had been a suitable match for him in a fight although I had never been able to overpower him, but still he had faith in me even if he never praised me when I succeeded in bypassing the goals he set. Even when he realized that I was fucking insane, he thought that strength of the body could overpower weakness of the mind. He was wrong. Obviously."

Sin fell silent, seeming broodingly contemplative and it was obvious that he still considered himself not up to par with the standards his father had set. It was fascinating that where others saw a man who was completely impervious, a walking lethal weapon who was to be feared and controlled because of the power he wielded, Sin saw weakness. It was almost disturbing to imagine what Emilio would have had him become, what he actually wanted him to be.

It was entirely possible that if it were up to his father, Sin would have been a blank slate, a soldier with no concerns or interests other than strategy and violence.

Boyd's fingers paused only briefly in playing with Sin's hair before he resumed. His father sounded… inexorable. What had started as distaste for Emilio's training grew to something closer to anger.
The memory of Sin, pale-faced and slightly sweaty, staying completely silent in the passenger seat about wounds that had him crying out in pain when he thought he was alone. He was so good at concealing his pain, at guarding himself completely from the outside world and deflecting anything that was in any way invasive… How could Emilio do that to him? Even if he didn't know how to deal with children, even if he wanted a legacy, even if he realized that Sin wasn't always stable... How could he look at a small child and decide his future for him? How could he tell him he had to be a perfectly controlled killing machine while ignoring the fact that what he really had was a vulnerable, hopeful human who wanted to believe in a future he'd only imagined before?

His touch remained gentle through Sin's hair and he stayed relaxed lying on the bed next to him, but he couldn't help some of that heat making it into his voice.

"But if you were unstable in any way that must have made it worse. Pushing you so hard, not giving you a chance to rest or just… be yourself." He narrowed his eyes and shook his head to himself.

"He just… He couldn't expect more from you then he was even able to give himself. Did he even ask you if you wanted to train, if you wanted to learn anything he decided to show you? It's as if he was punishing you for... for just being
human.
"

Sin shook his head slowly and his face grew a bit darker; a brief flash of that frightening person shining through although it wasn't immediately obvious why.

"I was never just human," he said softly. "He didn't know that at first but-- I think somehow he saw it in me; that was the potential he saw, even if he never completely identified it at first. His training-- it showed me how to control myself, it gave me purpose. Without him, I think I would have truly become what everyone says I am."

Watching him quietly, Boyd did not respond at first. "If you think it helped, then I can't disagree," he said finally, a little doubtfully. "But I don't believe you were never just human. I don't care what happened; you were still born just like everyone else. You were a baby, you were a child, you are now an adult." He watched Sin's hair fall through his fingers and frowned, his brown eyes looking especially dark in the shadows. "You'll always be human to me." He didn't entirely realize he said the last part aloud; it was an absent, truthful comment.

There was a brief silence and Sin stared at Boyd for a long moment before slowly, uncertainly, he raised one strong arm and wrapped it around Boyd's waist, pulling his partner closer to him. He let his head rest on the pillow, looking over at Boyd quietly.

Sin closed his eyes and muttered a very quiet 'thank you' before saying nothing more.

Boyd's eyes closed, warmth moving through him at the whispered words. He slid one arm around Sin and held him a little closer, marveling for a moment at how close they were, at the fact that Sin had been the one to initiate it. He ran his hand gently around to the back of Sin's neck where he continued to let his fingers slide through his hair. He could feel Sin's heart beating a little faster than usual and he let that calm him even more.

Silence overcame the room, but it was comfortable and relaxing. Boyd felt surprisingly at ease with Sin in his arms and he tightened his hold on him. Eventually Sin's breathing became slow and even and together they fell asleep.

Chapter
29

Midnight was the waking hour for many of Monterrey's party goers and that was the time when the club was at its fullest. Lines of hopefuls waited to be admitted to Solar; it was the most exclusive club in the city so if you wanted to get in, you either had to be on the list or had to really impress the doorman. The music emanating from the interior could be heard blocks away and strobe lights sat on either side of the door, sending streams of light dancing across the misty clouds that hung in the night sky.

Although the club was huge, it drew quite a crowd and was completely packed. Bodies pressed against each other on the dance floor, writhing together in the flashing lights and pulsing to the beat of the music. Different genres of music played on different floors and the mixture created a melting pot of sound, one which was disconcerting if you were not used to it. The smell of sweat and alcohol was almost overpowering but the patrons didn't seem to mind as they laughed, danced and drank.

Behind the Employees Only door and down the long hallway, Jessica Ramirez and her two assistants were sitting on her desk watching the monitors. Typically she would watch for any signs of trouble, eyes flicking back and forth between each screen to take in any possible illegal or disruptive activity that was going on, but this time they were watching for another reason.

"Damn, where'd he go?" Estella asked with a frown. "He just disappeared!"

"I know, he always does that," Jess said and despite her amused smirk, there was an impressed undercurrent in her tone.

"Oh he's on main now," Frankie said, pointing at one of the monitors. "How the hell did he get down there so fast?"

"Who knows? He's quick like that. Yesterday night I was on main speaking to him, turned away for a minute and then he was gone just like that. He has definite talent," Jess replied, blue eyes trained on her new bouncer with a smile playing on her lips. "I wonder if he's talented at everything."

"Probably," Estella said with a smile of her own. "And did you see—in two weeks he's managed to develop a fan club although they seem to be having trouble following him around. Ever since the first night he started working, that same group of girls became regulars all of a sudden."

Frankie rolled his eyes. "I don't see what the big deal is." Frankie's attraction to Estella was notorious even though it was obvious she would never give him the time of day. "Why is every woman that works here acting like he's God's gift?"

Estella looked at him from under half closed eyes and smirked, tossing her long red hair over one shoulder. "Because we like the bad boys and it doesn't hurt when the bad boys are fucking unbelievably hot."

"Bad boy?" Frankie asked skeptically, glaring at one of the monitors where 'Jason' was lingering in the shadows before disappearing just as suddenly as he always did.

"His attitude—he has that bad boy 'I don't give a fuck, I don't care what you think of me, fuck the world' thing going on. It's hot. He also has that silent, broody mysterious quality that we're a sucker for." Estella grinned at Frankie and smacked him on the back playfully. "I know, girls are dumb, but the bad boys are so much more interesting than the good guys."

"Especially when they look like that," Jess said, not looking away from the screens. "His lips are perfect and his eyelashes—god, it's not fair for a man to be that beautiful."

"Whatever—he's just a pretty boy," Frankie said, obviously irritated.

"A pretty boy with an absolutely perfect body," Jess replied.

"Looks a little scrawny to me."

"Lanky is hot, I hate beefy guys. And—"

"—did you see the way he handled the Anderson brothers last night?" Estella finished Jess' sentence, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet like an excited school girl. "You know I usually hate violence, I'm a total wuss when it comes to blood, but they were shooting up in the gallery and when Jason came to do an escort, they tried to resist and fight and he totally kicked both of their asses with like two simple moves. It was crazy and totally hot."

"You think everything is 'totally hot'," Frankie grumbled.

"When it comes to Jason I do," Estella admitted with a grin.

"So why don't you fuck him already then?" Frankie snapped at her. "Why don't all of you just fucking line up and let him go down the line?"

Estella rolled her eyes at him. "I'm just admiring him from afar, calm down already. I don't have the balls to actually approach him; if you haven't noticed he's a little intimidating. And I make a habit of not dating men who are hotter than me." She glanced over at Jess who was still watching Jason intently. "Besides I think boss lady wants him for herself."

Jess' attention snapped over to them and her pretty face reddened slightly, mouth turning down into a disapproving scowl. "Don't be ridiculous, I don't date my staff."

"Who said anything about date?" Estella asked teasingly.

Frankie made a disgusted sound in his throat and turned to go. "Whatever, have fun drooling. I actually have some work to do around here."

Jess crossed her arms over her chest and gave Estella a pointed look. "I think you do too."

Estella rolled her eyes and made a face, hopping off the desk and following Frankie out the door. "Sure, keep all the fun for yourself. Enjoy being a voyeur," she called teasingly before shutting it behind her.

Jess shook her head and dragged her eyes away from the monitors, going to sit behind her desk instead. She had a ton of work to do and it'd been piling up all week. But much to her chagrin, every time Jason came in for a shift she found herself distracted and watched him intently through the surveillance cameras. If she wasn't watching him on the monitors, she'd go down to the floor and actually find a reason to go talk to him. It was unprofessional and somewhat embarrassing, but for some reason she found herself drawn to him.

She couldn't put her finger on it but there was something about him that was mysterious, dangerous, something that intrigued her and made her want to know more. It was the way he slipped in and out of the darkness with ease, the way he disappeared in the space of a moment, the way he walked silently and handled men three times his size with no difficulty whatsoever. It was the intensity in his eyes, the way he seemed to look right through her as if he was seeing into her soul and the way it made her heart pound whenever that raptor-like gaze fell on her. Most of all it was his attitude; he was obviously an unbelievable fighter and a beautiful man but he didn't brag, he didn't seem conceited, he didn't even seem aware of his own appeal. The brooding silence that surrounded him was alluring but when he spoke, even the simple straight forward words were enough to make her shiver when they were spoken in that low, sexy voice.

Jess covered her face with her hands and groaned loudly, annoyed at her own infatuation, or obsession which was probably a more accurate term. She hadn't been this crazy over a man since her ex-husband and even then it hadn't been this distracting. Despite the lovers she currently had and the fact that she knew she could have any man she wanted, she couldn't focus on them because her thoughts were consumed with Jason. She fantasized about how those powerful hands would feel on her body, how those perfect, pouty lips would taste, how that deep voice would sound when he moaned.

Jess shuddered and smacked herself in the head. "God, you're pathetic," she muttered and stared intently at the inventory list in front of her. Several moments passed as she stared at the same page and then slowly her eyes wandered back over to the wall of monitors. She scanned them all and suddenly spotted Jason's tall, lanky form heading towards the employee door.

Jess glanced at the watch that dangled from her slender wrist and realized that it was 2AM which meant his shift was ending. Without thinking, she grabbed her radio and switched it on, telling him to come to her office before he left. As soon as the words left her mouth, she made a face and smacked herself in the head again, realizing that she really didn't have any good reason for calling him in. Despite that, she jumped up quickly and began fussing with her hair, sitting on top of her desk and crossing her legs so that her skirt exposed even more of her thigh.

As soon as Jason entered her office the butterflies that had plagued her stomach began flapping their wings enthusiastically. She tried to stop herself from messing with her hair again and smiled at him. "Hey."

Jason walked in and stopped several feet away from her, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face. Much to her disappointment his eyes did not drop to her exposed legs or even to the way the fabric of her shirt clung to her breasts. Instead he raised an eyebrow at her and did not smile. "What?"

She wasn't exactly arrogant but she had the goods and typically men tripped all over themselves trying to talk to her. The fact that Jason didn't seem impressed by her was frustrating, but at the same time it intrigued her even more. He didn't seem interested in looking at her but she couldn't stop her eyes from wandering over his body. The black cargo pants he wore had silver zippers and short chains across the pockets and although they were loose, they showcased his muscular thighs and in the camera she hadn't been able to take her eyes off of his perfect ass. That combined with the way his black wife beater showed off his
well-defined
, tattooed arms was enough to make her want to rip his clothes off right there. Jess dragged her gaze away from his body and focused on his face, reddening slightly when she saw the slightly impatient look.

"You're doing a great job so far," she said lamely.

"Okay."

Jess fidgeted and shifted on the desk, feeling flustered as he stared at her intently. He seemed to know she was bullshitting and it embarrassed her although it didn't prompt her to dismiss him either. "You know there are a few other people whose shifts are ending now too—usually they stay after and drink together or go out to another bar. I go too sometimes, it's a nice way to get to know everyone. You should come."

"No thank you."

Jess chewed on the inside of her cheek and looked up at him again, feeling heat spread through her as he began absently sucking on his lip ring. "Ah—" She cleared her throat and ran a hand through her hair. "You know when I called your last employer; one of your co-workers answered and was very excited to hear your name. She made it sound like you got to be good friends with her and the others. You should try to give the people a chance here—I know it sucks being new but we can be just as much of a family as your last job."

Jason shrugged and said nothing, seeming content to toy with the hoop of metal that wrapped around his lower lip and stare at her as if she was a moron.

She reddened even more but didn't let it deter her. "I'm serious."

He gazed at her with those intense eyes and lifted one of his shoulders in another shrug before drawling, "I'll think about it."

The butterflies went crazy again and she nodded, not trusting her voice just yet. She slid off the desk and walked towards him, heart pounding when he didn't move away and she smiled up at him. "We just want to get to know you. I…" She raised her hand and hesitantly ran one of her fingers along the stubble on his strong jaw. "Want to get to know you."

Jason stared down at her from under his constantly sleepy looking eyelids and grabbed her hand. Although it was firm, it was not painful, and just the fact that he was touching her made up for the fact that he was pushing her away. "I said I'll think about it."

"I hope you do."

He watched her for another long moment before nodding and turning around, leaving the office without another word. Jess closed her eyes briefly and pressed a hand to her face, mildly mortified by her own behavior but not enough to even consider stopping it. She walked back to her desk and slumped down in her chair, allowing her eyes to track Jason's movements as he left the club.

===

Boyd was seriously considering sending Reed hate mail regarding his haircut.

He was used to one length of hair that made it to his shoulders; he could easily pull it all back into a ponytail when it bothered him and otherwise it made a nice curtain to hide behind. But this stupid hairstyle was cut at too many angles to properly hide anything or even be pulled back. And every time he pushed it behind his ears it just fell forward again. So, with his hands full of blood that seeped from the beef and cascabel sauce, Boyd could do nothing to keep the hair from aggravating him other than to constantly rub his temple along his shoulder awkwardly and shake his head rather like a displeased horse.

The island in the kitchen was a mess and Boyd was a little annoyed. He had never really made any food before; even during the time he was alone in his family's house, he'd made things like sandwiches that required little preparation, used the microwave, or just ate crackers or bread. Boyd only barely knew the difference between a stove and an oven, and wasn't even entirely positive he had the correct definitions for each. He still didn't know the difference between a pot and pan, but he thought there must be one because it was always said that way together, 'pots and pans,' and it wouldn't be such a common phrase if it wasn't, right? It's not like people said 'books and tomes' or 'tennis shoes and sneakers.' Luckily, he found a recipe in one of the cookbooks that required no pots or pans, but it did need an oven and it took him a long time to figure out what that meant.