Evenstar (74 page)

He looked into her eyes.
 
“I love him, but even when I say
that
he has some line to throw back at me, something ready to deflect it.
 
I don’t think he really believes me, Dahlia, even now.
 
He said as much when he was sick.
 
Now
he’s trying to play it off like he didn’t mean what he said, but I
know
.
 
I can’t stand it…I know him hurting is my fault, but I don’t know what to do about it.”
 
They stopped dancing near one of the bars.
 
Paimon reached for a bottle of champagne.
 

Dahlia ripped the bottle out of his hands and handed it back to the bartender.
 
She put her hands on his chest.
 
“First off, stop drinking.”
 
She pulled him away from the bar.
 
“He sounds like he is on the defensive, but I know the sweetness is there, that same Furcas is there.”

“For everyone but me.”
 
Paimon stared at his feet.
 
“Do you know anything?
 
Having been connected with him and all.”

Dahlia looked thoughtful, remembering the memories and feelings she had shared with Furcas.
 
“He feels very much for you, but I think he assumes you are going to hurt him as soon as he lets his guard down.”

“Why?”
 
Paimon frowned.

“I saw what happened between you; I felt what he had felt.”
 
Dahlia frowned.
 
“He feels that he is not good enough for you and that you must resent him for not being good enough.
 
He is shielding himself from you, expecting that you will leave him eventually to find someone better.
 
Why would he be expecting that?”

Paimon flinched.
 
“Again, my fault.”

She sighed.
 
“What did you do?”

“Well…I left him.”

Dahlia went rigid.
 
“You are an
idiot
.”

He stared at his feet.
 
“It was only for a bit and I—”

“A
bit
?!”

“A few centuries.”
 
Paimon grew flustered at her scowl.
 
“Okay more than a few, but I came back!
 
I haven’t done it again, and I won’t do it again.
 
I wasn’t
with
anyone else.
 
Never even considered it.
 
That’s not even why I left!”

“Does he know that?”

“No, but I mean that’s
obvious
!
 
I’ve only wanted him.”

Dahlia sighed.
 
“Did you ever talk about this with him?”

“A little just the other day, I said I was sorry so I thought everything would be better…”
 

“
Paimon
!”

“Okay!”
 
Paimon ruined his styled hair with his fingers.
 
“I screwed up, bad, I know it.
 
How do I fix my fuck ups, Dahlia?”

Furcas twirled Whitney and the pair reached their side.
 
Furcas used his one arm to spin her.
 
He smiled at Dahlia.
 

Whitney blushed.
 
“Furcas told me he was one of your high-school friends.
 
Is that true?
 
Which one?”

Paimon glared at Furcas.
 
“I see you can still dance despite missing some pieces.”

Furcas rolled his eyes.
 
“Of course, some of us are
naturally
graceful.”
 
He took Whitney away before Dahlia could respond to Whitney’s question.

Dahlia pinched Paimon.
 
“What the fuck are you doing?”

“What?”
 
Paimon rubbed his arm.

“You just insulted him, you dolt!”

Paimon stared after Furcas.
 
“That’s how we, I…talk.”

“
That
is how you treat him and yet you wonder why he does not open up to you?
 
I thought you were smart!”

“I—”

Dahlia grabbed his chin, and the Lilliam nearby blinked in shock.
 
She got up close to his face.
 
“Say something nice for once, and do not follow it up with sarcasm.
 
Tell him how you really feel!
 
Apologize.”

“I don’t know how to.”

Dahlia pressed her hands to either side of his temples.
 
“Yes.
 
You.
 
Do.”

“But—”

“No buts.
 
Lay yourself out there.
 
He will probably hurt your feelings, but it sounds like you deserve it.
 
Maybe he needs to see that your feelings
can
get hurt, that you
care
enough about his opinion to let them be hurt, ever think about that dumbass?”

He looked away.
 
“No.”

“Then start.
 
Shape up and be there for
him
.
 
He needs it, especially now.”

***

Andy fidgeted with his napkin, beside him Belial laughed at Lucifer.
 
He cleared his throat and tapped her on the shoulder.
 
Belial turned to him.
 
Her big blue eyes met his and he had all of her attention.
 
Andy blinked rapidly.
 
“Do you, um, want to dance with me?”

Belial nodded.
 
Andy jumped out of his chair, knocking it over.
 
He swore and righted it.
 
He held his hand out to her.
 
She took it, trying to hide the smirk on her face.
 
She could feel him shaking through their contact.
 
She squeezed his hand.
 
“Shall we?”

Andy pulled her into position and swept her towards the dance floor.
 
Belial relaxed in his grip and let him lead.
 
She smiled and closed her eyes, trusting him to keep her safe.

Andy gulped.
 
He took a deep breath and tried to let it out without making a sound.
 
His heart pounded.
 
For the first time in a long time, he found himself without words, but it was okay.
 
He held her firmly and the pair moved in time with the other couples.
 
She leaned her head on his shoulder.
 
Andy smiled and they forgot about everything else.
 
The lights overhead shifted colors slowly.

The music changed tempo and a new song started.
 
Belial opened her eyes and looked up at him expectantly.
 
Andy smiled at her and he felt his blush returning.
 
“Belial.”

“Yes, Andrealphus?”

He closed his eyes.
 
“Would you like to go to dinner sometime, maybe?”

Belial grinned.
 
“Are you asking me out on a date?”

His eyes shot open.
 
“Isn’t that what I am supposed to do?”

She laughed sweetly and shook her head.
 
“It’s fine, and yes.”

“Yes to…”

“Yes we can go to dinner sometime.”

Andy grinned and dipped her.
 
“There is this place in New York City, you’ll love it, it reminds me of our days in Assyria.”

She made a face.
 
“That could be a great or terrible thing.”

“It’s a great thing, trust me, you’ll love it!

Helion tapped Andy’s shoulder.
 
“Mind if I cut in?”

Andy floated on a cloud of happiness.
 
“Not at all, just return her.”
 
He kissed Belial’s cheek and ran into Whitney.
 
He pulled her to him, and they set off, catching up.

Helion took Belial to the outer edge of the dance floor, and they moved along slowly with the crowd.
 
He examined her, his eyes moved separately of one another.
 

Belial stared into his black eye.
 
“You win the award for most creepy looking; it moves on its own.”

Helion stuck his tongue out at her.
 

She laughed.
 
“Very mature!”

He smiled.
 
“You are happy.”

Belial shrugged.
 
“I can be happy, Helion.
 
I have been happy before.”

He stared at her intently.
 
“But you are happier, healing.”

Her smile slid away.
 
“Helion, nothing has changed.”

He shook his head.
 
“You have changed.
 
I can see it.”

Belial sighed and looked away.
 
“Not inside.”

“Liar.”

She glared at him.
 
“Don’t act as if you know me, we have been apart for a long time.”

“We are one soul, Belial.
 
I know you.”

“No, you don’t.
 
Not since I cut the connection between us.”

He froze.
 
“
You
did that?”

Belial nodded.
 
“I had to, Helion.
 
I couldn’t let you experience that.
 
He was going to—”

“You
severed
us!”
 
Helion quaked.
 
“
You
parted what was one!”

Belial gripped his shoulders.
 
“Helion, I did not want you to be hurt.”

He cried into her hair.
 
“How could that not hurt?
 
What could be worse?
 
We were made to share everything.
 
We were never made to be separate.”

“It would have been worse.
 
I protected you from him.”

“By hurting yourself.”
 
He squeezed his eyes shut.
 
“It felt as-if you were dead!”

She raised his face to hers.
 
“I was.
 
I am
.”
 
She looked into his eyes and sighed, making a decision.
 
She took his hand and placed it against her sternum.
 
“A glimpse only.
 
Do not try and make this permanent.
 
Do not try and keep the connection open.”
 
She closed her eyes and rejoined them.

Helion and Belial linked.

Helion felt what she felt.
 
He caught glimpses of her memories, and he sensed what lived inside her.
 
Helion wailed.
 

Belial cut the connection and slapped her hand over his mouth.
 
The Promenade had gone silent.
 
She swept him into a hug and looked around at everyone else.
 
“Mind your own business.”
 
She pulled him away from the dance floor as the music restarted.
 
Belial looked him over.
 
Physically he appeared sound.
 
“Helion, are you okay?”

Helion shook his head and stared at her chest.
 
“What is in you?
 
It was…” he gagged.
 
“Septic.
 
Cancerous.”

 
“Uriel.”
 
Belial rubbed his palms between her hands.

“Why is that inside you?”

“He wanted to replace you and Andrealphus in one action.
 
He tried to join us together physically since he could not any other way.”
 
She pressed his hand against her chest.
 
Her face strained as her insides churned.
 
“What beats inside isn’t mine and it gets harder to fight against it.”

Helion’s white pupil expanded.
 
“Get Paimon to fix it.”

“He cannot fix it, Helion.”

Helion shuddered.
 
“Share with me what Uriel did, maybe
I
can fix it!”

“No.”

“Lessen your burden, Belial.”

“
No
!”

He grabbed her wrists.
 
“You were not meant to bear things alone!
 
We are supposed to do this together.”

She tore her hands out of his grip.
 
“If I let you in it will
infect
you, if it doesn’t kill you outright!
 
Can’t you understand that?
 
You’ll become like me!”

Helion shook his head.
 
“I do not care!
 
You are my twin, it is worth the risk.”