Eventide (Meratis Trilogy Book 2) (31 page)

“We had to restrain you to make sure you healed before you picked up a sword,” Conrad remembered.

“So why is it not working with Jax?” Jayden asked Maggie. “The injury wasn’t nearly as bad.”

Jeff thought he understood. He considered Jasmine and her recent obsession with Corey, her difficulty moving on. It was easy to cling to physical pain when the emotional agony was too much to bear. That she was depressed wasn’t much of a surprise, but that she would allow herself to wallow in the past when the present and future needed so much attention, that wasn’t like the character he wrote. That wasn’t anything like the woman he had come to know when her villagers were going missing.

“I volunteer to go to Treevale,” he said. Cassie twisted in her chair to look up at him, but he kept his focus on Jayden. “And Jasmine’s coming with me.”

Chapter Nineteen

J
ayden stared back at him, unimpressed. “Did you not just hear what I said? My sister is unwell.”

“You just said the doctor gave her a clean bill of health. The trouble is in her head. Your sister needs a jumpstart back into the real world. She’s lived inside her head so long, she probably doesn’t know how to get out. A good adventure may be just what she needs.”

“I won’t put her through that. Not until I’m sure she’s—”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Maggie interrupted. “I think Jeff’s right. Her ailment is more mental than physical.”

“So we should just throw her on a horse and send her far away from any medical help if something goes wrong?”

Maggie rolled her eyes. “They’re not going cross-country into battle, Jay. I’m just saying, why not put it to her. She may prefer it to lying around in bed.”

***

Much to Jayden’s dissatisfaction, although likely not to his surprise, Maggie was right. An hour later Jasmine was out of bed, dressed, and moving around like her old self, if a little slower.

“Are you sure about this?” Cassie asked Jeff as he tacked up Swish.

“We’ll have soldiers with us. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Don’t go jinxing yourself,” she warned.

He finished adjusting the stirrups, and then took Cassie’s hands in his. “I’ll be fine. Jasmine needs a kick in the pants, and I think I’m the one to do it. But nothing else is going to happen. I wouldn’t let it. Not now.”

Cassie stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss and he wrapped his arm around her, burying his face in her hair.

“Just be careful,” she whispered.

Four soldiers waited at the gates to escort them to Treevale. The order had been Jayden’s concession to letting them go at all, and Jeff wasn’t too upset to see them. Until they broke the spell—if they found out how—some backup might not be the worst idea.

Jasmine and Nalen waited outside the stables with Jayden. The Friesian pawed at the ground to get started, and Jasmine looked equally impatient.

Swish nudged Jeff’s shoulder, and he hauled himself up into the saddle.

“You’re getting better at that,” Jayden said, watching him.

“Really? Thanks.”

“A few more months and maybe you can skip the mountain climbing act.”

Jeff grumbled, but was too used to the ribbing to feel embarrassed. Cassie patted his knee and then stepped back towards Jayden. The warrior wrapped his arm around her waist.

“And don’t worry, Author, your woman will be safe with me.”

Jeff grinned. “I have no doubt she’ll be safe from you. Woman has some mad skills.”

“Keep an eye on my sister, will you?”

Jasmine snorted. “You really think me so weak that
he
needs to watch out for me?”

“We’ll keep an eye on each other,” Jeff promised.

Jasmine urged Nalen to a walk and Jeff followed, waving goodbye to Cassie as they left.

***

Jasmine had no interest in conversation during the first part of the ride. Jeff spent the quiet time watching her, noticing the way she cringed whenever Nalen hit a step too hard and jarred her the wrong way, and how she kept reaching to grab her side only to stop and return her hand to the pommel. Had this trip been a mistake?

He gauged how far away the soldiers were, two in front, two in the rear, and felt even more relieved Jasmine agreed to let them come. If anything happened to her, at least they could help get her back to the Keep.

They were far enough away from the Feldall gates that trees had started to appear again. Not far in the distance, Jeff could see the dense green of the woods around Treevale. The oily sensation of bad memories started to creep up, and he forced himself to think of anything else.

When Jasmine refused to stop for lunch, and her eyes grew more and more vacant with her deep thoughts, Jeff knew there had been no other option. Nothing in the Keep would knock her out of this rut, and he just had to hope the trip would be enough.

“How’s the gut?” he asked, trying to pull her back into the world.

“Fine,” she replied.

“Causing you any pain?”

“Nope.”

He searched for a different subject. One that wouldn’t remind her that she was human and therefore weak. “I took your advice—finally—about Cassie. Talked to her. I think things are good. You were right.”

“Of course I was.” Jasmine must have heard the cold indifference in her voice because she roused herself enough to turn to Jeff and offer a faint smile. “But I’m glad it worked out. It would have been a shame if you’d lost her. Especially considering …”

“Yeah, especially considering,” he agreed. Considering when they finally returned home, she would be his only reason to get out of bed in the morning until he found a new calling.

“I’m realising how rare it is to have that sort of deep affection for someone. How fleeting it can be and how important to hold onto it.”

Could Jasmine Feldall really be sharing something personal
? He didn’t know how to respond.

“It’s easy to take it for granted,” she continued. “Assume the feelings you have for someone—or that someone has for you—will always be around.”

“Someone in particular you’re thinking about?” Jeff dared to ask.

Jasmine raised a shoulder. In spite of his prying, she remained pensive, her gaze focused vaguely on the road ahead of her.

“Just generally. People are there one day, and the next you never see them again. Never even have the chance to say goodbye.”

Jeff’s foolish side hoped she referred to Brady, but now he saw Corey was still first and foremost on her mind. He sympathised with her, he really did, but she had to move on. Move to something that was real instead of the memories holding her back.

“Come on,” he said, nudging Swish towards the forest on the left.

“What are you doing?” one of the soldiers demanded. “We should stick to the road.”

Jasmine stayed with the soldiers. “She’s right. It’ll add too much time to the trip.”

Jeff slowed Swish to a halt and looked over his shoulder. “There’s something I want to show you.” He looked to the soldier. “We’ll meet you at the Fortress.” When both Jasmine and the soldier continued to hesitate, he persevered, “The forest has a dragon guardian. I really don’t think we have anything to worry about in there.”

Jasmine sighed, and guided Nalen after them. “Meet us at Treevale,” she ordered the soldiers, and when she and Jeff were far enough away added, “Are you sure you even know where you’re going? It’s a big forest, and you’re not exactly navigationally skilled.”

Jeff offered a brief smirk to show he wasn’t offended by the jibe, but the smile faded quickly. “Trust me, I don’t think I could ever forget this place.”

They rode to the edge of the forest and then dismounted, leading the horses behind them.

Swish whinnied and tossed his head, tugging at the reins to go back to the road. Nalen didn’t seem bothered at first, but the more spooked Swish became, the edgier he got.

“Your gelding’s having a difficult time here,” Jasmine observed, her voice tense, almost shaky. “Where are we going?”

Jeff didn’t answer, focused on the ground to make sure he didn’t trip and fall. Jasmine didn’t ask again, silently following his lead.

They walked for a few minutes when Jeff came to a sudden stop. Like hallucinations, two figures shimmered ahead in his vision, memories so vivid he could hear their voices.

“Well if you
do
stay here and Raul finds out, you could get us all killed, brother. Do us a favour and go home,
” Corey was saying to Jayden.

Jeff heard the twig snap under his boot, saw Corey’s head swivel towards him.

“What’s he doing here?”

“Bastard’s trying to kill me,”
Jayden explained, having just learned of Jeff’s plot to kill off his male lead in the conclusion to his Feldall Saga.

He remembered the way Corey’s eyes had narrowed, his hand tightening on his sword.

“You’re welcome to try, little man
.”

Jeff had rolled his eyes at the threat, having no idea that in only a few minutes time, Corey would be the one to die.

“Are you all right?” Jasmine asked behind him. He looked to her, saw her gaze jump from him to the empty patch in front of them and realised he had been staring at nothing.

“Fine. Sorry. Let’s keep going.”

Not too far now. He could feel his muscles tense up in his back the closer they got, could smell a hint of death on the air. Was it memories, or a lingering curse on the woods?

“Jeff, where are we going?” Her words were full of uncertainty, bordering on fear. He wondered if she sensed the darkness as well, or the stress oozing out of his pores. She must have answered her own question because she drew to a halt, her fingers tight around Nalen’s reins. “I—I can’t do this, Jeff. I don’t want to.”

Jeff turned to face her. “I heard you say once that you wanted to know how it happened. That you wouldn’t be able to put it behind you until you did. Well that’s what we’re going to do. I’ll walk you through every moment so you
know
, so you can accept that Corey is not coming back, no matter how much you wish that he would.”

Jasmine drew back her hand and slapped him full across the face.

Jeff clenched his hands by his sides and waggled his jaw to work off the sharp pain that radiated up into his skull.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“No,” she spat.

“You want to go back? Fine, we’ll go back.” He started walking the way they’d come. “You’ll never know what happened and you’ll stay depressed, pushing away everyone that cares about you until you’re completely alone.”

“Stop it.”

“Never mind the people who love you and are worried about you. Let’s do this your way. It’s worked so well so far.”

“Stop!” Jasmine yelled loudly enough that a few birds overhead flew off, shaking a rainfall of leaves over their heads.

Jeff stopped and turned again. She hadn’t moved from her spot.

“I want to know what happened,” she said. “I have nightmares every night, imagining. What if the truth is worse than the dreams?”

“It will be,” Jeff said, as gently as he could. “But at least you can stop obsessing over what-ifs.”

Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes and she blinked them away before they fell, her lips trembling. “I still feel him near me. Even after so many months, I still expect to see him. I walk past his room and have to remind myself that there’s no one inside. Sometimes I forget and go in and all of his things are still there, and they smell like him. And then suddenly he’s there and I can feel his hands. When I close my eyes I see him smiling. I can picture the last time I saw him, when I gave him his orders to take that scouting party to Treevale. I didn’t even get to say anything to him, didn’t even—”

She stopped, cleared her throat.

Jeff said nothing. She had to get all this anger and sadness out.

Taking a slow, shaky breath, she said, “I know his death was not my fault.” The words came out more as a familiar mantra than with any real conviction. “But that doesn’t take away the fact that I miss him every gods-be-damned day.”

Her voice trembled and again she stopped. Her eyes widened with a sort of panic as her grief threatened to overwhelm her, her shoulders shivering with pent-up emotion. A wave of guilt washed over Jeff, and he rested his hands on her shoulders, catching her eye to try and get her to focus on him instead of whatever thoughts were circling inside her head.

“I shouldn’t have dragged you here. I know that. I’m sorry. But it’s hard to watch the people you care about swirl down into dark places. Jayden’s also in pain, so he’s in no place to help guide you out. Brady’s been trying too hard to give you space. Maybe I’m a son of a bitch for trying this way, or maybe I’m just used to being inside your head. Tough love has always been your thing.”

Jasmine smiled weakly, the tears finally trickling over her cheeks to drip off her chin. She didn’t bother to wipe them away this time.