Authors: Karen Kingsbury
They ordered salmon and vegetables and a couple of lattes. When the waiter left, Justin asked her about her parents. “I know they were apart for a long time, but I don’t know the whole story.”
So she told him, told him how they’d been so in love, and how the things her mother had written about her father could still make any of the three of them teary eyed. She told him about the struggle of her mother’s pregnancy, and how none of her grandparents had supported the young couple.
“The amazing thing is that I found them.” She folded her hands in her lap and searched his face. “It was my dream, my daily prayer that God would bring them back to me and to each other.” She took a sip of her coffee. “He did both. I can’t ask for more than that.”
The hour was relaxed and full of more stories. They finished eating and popped peppermint candies into their mouths as Justin paid the bill. When they were outside, he took her hand and led her once more to a spot along the railing. The sun was just dropping below the horizon. Nearly ten o’clock. Right on time for a Northwest summer night.
Pink and orange streaks mixed with deep blues as the sunset began leaving its mark on the sky. Again Justin stood close to her, his arm touching hers a little more than before. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and in the glow of the setting sun she could hardly take her eyes off him. “Why the smile?”
“Because — ” he looked down and chuckled, soft and low — “I was thinking about Vonda.”
“Crazy Vonda?” Emily felt a shiver run along her spine again, and she wasn’t sure if it was from Justin’s nearness or the cooling air.
“Yeah. I can almost hear what she’d say if she were standing behind us.”
“What?” She angled herself to face him more than the water.
“She’d say, ‘Enough already, Mr. Smooth. Do I have to come over there and tell you how to do it?’ ” He turned too, his shoulders squared to hers. Only a few inches separated them. His tone changed, and there was a pull between them that Emily couldn’t resist. He swallowed, still imitating the office manager. “ ‘Or will you just go ahead and … kiss the girl.’ ”
Emily had been kissed once before. After a prom date with a guy she had a crush on for most of her junior year. But here, now, she knew what was coming and she wanted it more than she wanted her next breath. She moved closer, so close she could smell the peppermint on his breath. “You know what I think?”
He brushed his cheek against hers and drew back enough to see her eyes. “What?”
“I’d hate to frustrate Vonda.” Her words came out slow, breathy. The foot traffic on the sidewalk had tapered way off, but she wouldn’t have cared if they’d been standing in a crowd of people.
“Yeah.” He moved in, slowly, tenderly, and touched his lips to hers. “Me too.” His hand moved to her waist and drew her close as he kissed her again, slower this time, longer. The tentative sweetness of his kiss told her more clearly than words that they stood together on the edge of a canyon of emotions and feelings. All they needed to do was find the courage to jump.
Emily could’ve stood there all night being kissed by Justin Baker, kissing him back. But after a few minutes, he touched his knuckles to her cheek and gave her a final kiss. “I need to get you back.”
“Okay.” At the seemingly abrupt end to their closeness, she suddenly felt unsure of herself. What was she doing, standing here letting a guy she didn’t really know kiss her? Maybe he really
was
the smooth talker Vonda declared him to be, and now that she’d kissed him, maybe he wouldn’t ask her out again. After all, this was new to her — so new she wasn’t sure what to do next, how to transition from head over heels back to a sane conversation.
But before she could worry anymore, he took her hand and brought it to his lips. With the most tender care, he kissed it, his eyes on hers. “Can I say something without scaring you?”
She could hear her heart pounding, feel it as far down as her knees. “Yes.” What could he want to tell her? That he was sorry? That he regretted kissing her when they hadn’t known each other that long? She held her breath.
“I have the strangest feeling, Emily.” He studied her face, and this time he placed both his hands around her narrow waist.
“What?” She was frozen, waiting.
“Like all my life has been leading up to this one … single moment.”
She wanted to tell him she felt the same thing. But all she could do was breathe and nod her head. For a moment, it seemed he might kiss her again, but instead he tucked her arm in his and walked her back up the hill toward his car. This time the conversation turned to relationships.
“I figured you had a boyfriend.” Justin smiled at her, and in the fading light his eyes sparkled. “A girl as beautiful as you. With a heart like yours.”
She laughed. “No wonder Vonda called you Mr. Smooth.” The air was colder now and she began to shiver.
Justin slipped his arm around her shoulders, and as they walked, they fell into a rhythm that seemed as old as time. “I’m serious. I would’ve asked you out a week ago, except I figured you had someone.”
“Okay.” She looked up at him, not sure she wanted to know. “What about you? There must be a line of girls waiting for you somewhere.”
“Nah.” He laughed and shook his head. “I went to college on a running-start program. Focused on ROTC and graduated at twenty. Never really fit into any group. You know, not a jock, not a druggie, not a musical type, not a whiz-kid. I dated here and there, but I sort of stayed to myself.”
When they reached the car again, he hesitated. “I
so
don’t want to take you home yet.”
“I know.” Would he lean against his car and pull her into his arms? The way she sort of hoped he would?
No. He was too much of a gentleman for that. Instead he led her around to the passenger door, opened it, and held it for her. When he slipped into the driver’s seat, he smiled at her. “You think Vonda’ll be able to tell? Tomorrow when we’re at work?”
She giggled. “Probably.”
The drive home went too fast, and when they reached her residence hall, he walked her up to the door. “Tonight was amazing.”
“Yeah.” She wasn’t sure what to make of her feelings. A sudden shyness mixed with a longing she’d never known. She wanted so badly to kiss him again, but the timing seemed wrong. She took a step toward the door. “Thanks, Justin.”
“See you tomorrow.” He hesitated, then turned and jogged down the steps.
When he was gone, she hurried inside, and there in the entryway were three girls from the soccer team. Pam was one of them.
“My goodness, Emily, who was the hunk?”
She looked back at the driveway and the Jeep Cherokee just pulling away. “Justin.” She let her eyes find Pam again. “Justin Baker. He’s a soldier from Fort Lewis.”
“He’s hot.” Pam whistled.
“He’s beyond hot.” One of the other girls shaded her eyes and looked out toward the fading taillights. “He’s the hottest guy I’ve seen on campus all summer.” She took hold of Emily’s shoulder. “Tell me he has a brother, please, Emily.”
“He doesn’t.” She laughed and waved them off. She didn’t want to stand there in the entryway making small talk with her teammates. She wanted to get to her room, wash her face, and crawl into bed, where she could relive every moment of the last six hours. While she could still feel his breath on her skin, his kiss on her lips.
While the memory was still so alive she could be absolutely certain she’d spend the rest of the night dreaming about it.
Her last thought before going to sleep made her smile. Vonda was wrong. Love wasn’t wasted on the youth. It had found her when she least expected it, and wherever her new relationship with Justin went from here, she had a feeling the journey would be magical.
And that however long the ride, the two of them would enjoy every minute.
S
IX
S
hane felt the tension between him and Lauren long before they took their seats on the plane. She was quieter than usual, and once in a while he’d catch her dabbing at her eyes, maybe trying not to cry.
He looked out the window as the plane took off. How had they grown so distant? He still loved her, still wanted to share his life with her. The feelings he had for her, he’d never have for anyone else. After a lifetime of missing her, he knew that. Knew it as certainly as he knew his name and rank.
She hadn’t said anything about running, but he had the feeling she was thinking about it. Twice in the past few weeks she’d mentioned emails from her editor, invitations — no, not invitations, but downright pleas — for her to return to the Middle East.
“Is that what you want?” He asked her yesterday, the last time she’d mentioned the emails.
“No.” She came to him, looped her arms around his neck, and leaned her head on his chest. “I want you, Shane. I’ve always only wanted you.”
So why did their differences feel more pronounced every time they were together? He wanted to talk about wedding locations and honeymoons, but the conversation always took a different direction.
“Don’t you feel bad,” she’d said the last time he mentioned a honeymoon, “taking a trip to some luxurious beach when the people in Afghanistan are struggling just to survive?”
“Okay.” He took hold of her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “Does it help the people in Afghanistan if we stay home?”
She shook her head and turned away, more upset than was fitting for the moment. “You don’t understand me, Shane. I’m not saying we can’t go, just that it makes me sad, thinking about the people over there.” She hung her head, her voice a million miles away. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m being a real drag.”
Through the last part of June and all of July, Lauren spent most of her time on the road gathering information for one story or another. When they talked — in person or on the phone — they discussed the coming trip to see Emily’s new school, her new residence, and her new guy, Justin Baker.
Shane had hoped this trip would give them a chance to remember why they were together in the first place. But now here they were, and though Lauren was beside him, she might as well have been back in Afghanistan for how close she felt.
He stared at the city below, watched it get smaller and smaller as the aircraft found its cruising altitude.
He drew a deep breath.
Lord, I can feel You up here. So close it’s like I could reach out and touch You. But what about Lauren?
His eyes stung and his throat felt thick.
Father, I’ve looked for her all my life and now she’s here. But her heart seems half a world away. What can I do, Lord? How can I stir inside her the feelings she once had? The feelings she had last winter when she followed me to Fallon?
Remember, my son, love never fails. Not ever.
The answer resonated in his heart and seemed to come from someplace right behind him. He knew better than to turn around and look. But when God’s answers were this clear, they always left him with a sense of awe. The Lord, the Creator of the universe, cared enough to answer his simple prayers. And this time, the answer was especially strong, because it came straight from Scripture. First Corinthians, chapter thirteen.
Love never fails.
He breathed out and relaxed his jaw. Then he turned his head and leaned in close to her. “Hi.”
She was reading a magazine. Without hesitating, she slid it back into the seat pocket in front of her and shifted so she was facing him. “Hi.”
He framed her face with his hand and worked his fingers into her hair. His eyes met hers, and the confusion he saw there only made his heart hurt more. “Lauren, don’t leave me. Please.”
“Shane …” She covered his hand with her own. “Why do you say that?”
“Because.” He swallowed, searching her eyes, desperate to see the love and certainty he longed to find there. “I can feel you pulling away.” His voice was a whisper, one that was barely louder than the roar of the jet engines. “A little more every day.”
Tears filled her eyes, and her chin quivered. For a while she didn’t speak, then she managed to force tight words free. “I don’t want to leave.”
“Okay, then.” He could feel the tears in his own eyes. “Stay. Please, Lauren. Stay.”
The impossibilities lay dark and flat in her eyes, her expression. “We need a bridge. Only …” She gulped, and two tears slid down her cheeks. “Only I’m not sure there’s a bridge that big.”
“Love is the bridge, Lauren.” He ran his fingertips along the side of her face. “I’ll never love anyone like I love you.”
She nodded. “Okay.” Her answer told him only this much: they couldn’t talk about forever, couldn’t figure things out here, surrounded by the other passengers. She closed the gap between them and touched her lips softly to his. “I love you that much too.”
They didn’t speak again the rest of the short flight. Their discussion had pulled back the shades and revealed a terror too dark and horrible to imagine, too great even to consider. Later, after they’d had a chance to see Emily, they’d talk about it again. Because whatever was making things worse, whatever was placing this barrier between them, wasn’t going to go away on its own.
In the half hour before the plane landed, Lauren rested her head on his shoulder and fell asleep. Shane savored the feel of her body against his, reveled in the sensation of her nearness without her angry opinions, his frustrated comebacks. He stroked her hair, and when it came time to get off the plane, she woke and smiled at him.
“I can’t wait to see Emily.”
“Me either.”
Just like that, they made a silent pact to put all talk about themselves on hold. At least for now. They rented a car and headed straight for the university. The sky was blue with temperatures in the mideighties. Emily had been telling them that the weather was wonderful in Tacoma.
“That or the company you’re keeping?” Shane teased her the last time they talked.
“Well — ” Emily sounded wonderful, full of life and love and purpose — “let’s just say it could be raining every day and neither of us would notice.”
On the drive from the airport to PLU, Shane thought about how strange life was. Gary Baker had been one of his closest friends in the Gulf War. They were in different branches of the military, but they were together for planning meetings and strategic multibranch cooperative assignments.
When their stint in the Gulf ended, they remained friends. Over the years, their visits and conversations happened less frequently, but that never mattered. They had the sort of friendship that withstood time.
When Emily chose to take the PLU scholarship, and then when she asked Shane about getting a job at Fort Lewis, he remembered. That was the base where Gary had been stationed before he retired. Now he lived ninety minutes south in a small town called Kelso, the place where he’d grown up and where he and his wife Carol raised their two kids. But still he might know who to talk to at the army base. Shane was on the phone to his old friend that afternoon.
“The timing couldn’t be better,” Gary had told him. “They’re looking for someone part-time. My boy’s working at that office a few days a week. I know exactly who you should talk to.”
By the end of the week, Emily had a job. But never, not once, had Shane given a second thought to the idea that Gary’s son would work with Emily. Not until she called toward the end of June, giddier than he’d ever heard her.
“How do you know, Dad? When it’s really love?”
“Well …” His feelings were mixed at her question. All those years he’d ached because he’d missed out on her life, hadn’t known where she was or even
if
she was. Now that she’d found him, it felt strange to hear her so excited about a boy. Strange to have to share any part of his little girl. He cleared his throat and tried to sound paternal. “For one thing, it usually takes longer than three weeks.”
“I don’t know.” Her voice had a dreamy quality to it. “We’ve gone out almost every night. I think it took us about three hours to figure it out.”
By the end of the phone call, just for something to say, Shane asked the boy’s name. That’s when Emily giggled. “You know him, Dad. I wasn’t going to tell you until you met him in person, but you might as well hear it now. His name’s Justin Baker.”
“What?” Shane about slid out of his seat. Several times Gary and Carol had sent pictures of Justin. He was a handsome kid, but he was a kid, right? Way too young to be talking love with Shane’s little girl. “Isn’t he still in high school?”
Again Emily laughed. “No. Justin’s dad said the same thing. He thought I was like seventeen or something.”
“Yeah, because nineteen is so old, right?”
“Almost twenty.” She paused. “You and mom were ready to get married a whole lot younger than this.”
Married? Shane’s heart skipped a beat. The statement must’ve been for effect. Certainly Emily hadn’t met a boy and fallen so hard the two of them were talking marriage. “Marriage, Emily? Are you trying to tell me something?”
This time Emily laughed. “Dad, of course not. I’m just saying … Justin’s twenty-two. He finished college at twenty.”
“Well, I wouldn’t expect anything less from the son of a man like Gary Baker.”
“Good.” She made a clapping sound that carried over the phone lines. “His parents are coming up for my tournament, so you and Mom will get a chance to connect with them.”
The weeks had flown by since then, and now here they were. He and Lauren, on their way to the first game of the tournament.
They had just enough time to check into their hotel on the way to the field. When they got there, Shane could see a set of bleachers already full of people.
“What if they don’t like me?” Lauren was holding his hand, but she lagged a step behind. “And why does it seem like we spend our entire lives around a military base?”
Shane smiled at her. “Practice, Lauren.” He tickled the corners of her mouth. “People will like you a lot more if you’re smiling.”
“I’m sorry.” She did, but he could feel her resistance. They drew closer, and Lauren stopped twenty yards short of the bleachers. “I want to look for Emily.” She shaded her eyes. “Wait … there she is! Number seven!”
Suddenly Shane realized what he was watching. Their daughter had spent a lifetime kicking around a soccer ball. Game after game, practice after practice, the people cheering in the stands for her were her grandparents. Never her parents. Until today. Now, for the first time, he and Lauren were together doing what they should’ve done all of Emily’s life.
Watching her play soccer.
Shane linked his arm through Lauren’s. “Look at that.” They watched their daughter dart around two defenders, dribbling the ball like it was attached to her ankle by a string. Then, at just the right moment, she sent it across the field to a teammate streaking toward the goal.
The defender running just ahead of Emily’s teammate didn’t have time to adjust her footing, and before even the goalie could react, Emily’s teammate shot the ball back to her, and she fired it into the goal. The entire team raised their hands, jumping and running out to meet Emily.
A shiver passed over Shane’s arms. “She’s amazing.”
“She is.” Lauren was just about to say something else, when people approaching caught her attention. She looked off to the side and smiled. “Hello.”
Shane followed her gaze and there was his friend, Gary Baker. And next to him was a strapping boy four inches taller than Gary. Justin, no doubt. “Hey! I can’t believe this!” Shane took a few long strides and wrapped Gary in a big bear hug. “It’s been too long, friend. Way too long.”
They pulled apart and Gary pointed out at the soccer field. “Your girl’s good.”
“Thanks.” Shane grinned toward Emily, still getting congratulatory hugs from her teammates. Then he turned his attention to the tall soldier standing beside Gary. “And who’s this young man? Don’t tell me it’s your little Justin all grown up?” Shane felt Lauren come up alongside him. He put his arm around her shoulders and stuck his hand out toward the young man. “I’m Officer Shane Galanter. Your dad’s buddy.”
“Sir.” He saluted. “Lieutenant Justin Baker, sir.”
“At ease, lieutenant. The question is, when did you get to be taller than your daddy?”
Justin laughed. “He asks me that all the time.”
The play on the field resumed, and Lauren stuck out her hand first to Justin, then to Gary. “I’m Lauren, Emily’s mother.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am.” Justin wore his casual dress: camouflaged pants and a buttoned-down shirt. His manners were impeccable.
Gary smiled at Lauren. “Come meet Carol. I think you’ll like her.”
They moved to the bleachers, and after ten minutes, Carol and Lauren were talking about the plight of third-world countries and the work humanitarian and Christian groups were doing to alleviate the AIDS epidemic.
Shane leaned in close to his friend. “Did you tell her to talk about that stuff?”
“Who, Carol?” Gary looked at the two women. “No, she’s always been interested. Tells me we’re going to take a year off and do mission work in Africa someday.”
Shane felt the tension in his soul ease. Lauren had found a friend, something neither of them expected. He was about to ask Gary how things had been in Kelso, when the action on the field came to a sudden stop. A girl from the opposing team was on the ground, and instantly a group of coaches surrounded her.
“Paramedic!” one of the coaches shouted. “Someone call a paramedic!”
Shane whipped out his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. He wasn’t sure of the emergency, but in a calm voice he told the operator that a soccer player was down and seriously injured at PLU’s soccer field. “I’m not sure of the address.”
“That’s okay, sir. Your cell phone has a GPS locator.”
Shane was relieved. Before he could get off the phone, Justin bolted down the bleachers and out onto the field. “He has medic training,” Gary was on his feet, squinting, trying to make out the scene.
Shane finished his call and watched as the young soldier took control. He must’ve identified himself, because the coaches cleared away. Even from their view in the bleachers, it was clear the player had been cut across her calf. She must’ve been kicked, the cleats from another player’s shoe slicing into her.