Everafter Series 1 - Everafter (28 page)

I swallowed around the lump that suddenly formed in my throat. “Saturday is my one-year anniversary with Valentine. She’s reserved a cabin in the Catskills and she wants us to spend the weekend there. Alone.”

“And you’re afraid you aren’t ready?”

“I don’t know.” The note of sadness was back in my voice. I hated it.

Karma reached across the desk and patted my hand reassuringly. “Alexa, the progress you have made in such a short time is phenomenal. It took me months before I was able to keep myself from shifting every time the heater kicked on or the lights went out.”

“But I still can’t stop myself whenever Val feeds!”

“That’s totally normal. You know that. You told me yourself that the first time you witnessed a transformation was when Darren hit his head.” She paused until I had to meet her gaze. “Darren has been a Were for almost one hundred years. Physical pain is the most difficult trigger to control.”

“Maybe this weekend isn’t a good idea after all.”

Karma shrugged. “Only you know if you’re ready.”

I sighed. This talk was a waste of both of our times; just like every other occasion I bothered her with trivialities. Of course I had to make up my own mind. Why was it that I expected somebody else to have the answers for me? I used to trust my own instincts but somehow, this virus had stripped away my self-control and my self-sufficiency. Every emotion was closer, now, and my patience was in tatters. I probably shouldn’t have been surprised, seeing that I had welcomed an animal into my psyche.

I started to push back my chair to leave when the image of the panther running toward the shining city surfaced in my memory. “One more thing. I don’t know if it means anything, but I had a dream last night after transforming back.” I closed my eyes to pull the images more forcefully to the forefront. “I was the panther and we were running free. In the distance, I could see a city—this city. The human part of me thought
home.
And somehow, I made the panther stop.”

“Oh.” Karma sat back in her seat and I saw a torrent of emotions wash over her face. In all the time I had known Karma Rao, her interactions with me had always been empathetic and understanding. She had an explanation or an appeasement for every little issue I ran to her with. For the first time, I thought I caught tendrils of alarm and unease.

“Is something wrong with me?”

“No, it’s not that.” She took a deep breath and I watched her rein her calm back in. “It’s unusual, but nothing to be alarmed over. There’s somebody I want you to meet. I was planning on waiting for you to settle in more before I made this introduction, but given what you just told me…I think he’ll want to meet you now.”

I caught the implication in her last statement. “He didn’t want to meet me before?”

“It’s complicated.” Karma reached for her phone and punched in a few numbers. With my heightened senses I could hear the phone ringing both through the handset and down the hall. Then a man’s voice, deep and gruff, answered. “Sir, I’m sorry to call your private line but I think it’s time for you to meet Alexa Newland.” The response on the other end was so low I couldn’t make out any words but Karma frowned and I knew the response had to have been negative. “Please, sir, I’m really going to have to insist on this one.”

After another unintelligible exchange, Karma hung up the phone. She nodded once and gestured for me to stand. “I’m going to take you to see Malcolm Blakeslee, the Weremaster of New York City.”

Malcolm Blakeslee’s office anchored the north end of the hallway. It was the only room that featured frosted glass windows so you couldn’t see what was going on inside. As we approached, the thick glass doors slid open with a barely perceptible hydraulic swish. Malcolm’s office, like Helen’s, was decorated expensively but tastefully. Unlike the other all-glass offices on the floor, he opted for pale blond wood furniture and natural cowhide upholstered seating. I sat in one of the armchairs and shifted uncomfortably as the bristles of the hide pricked through my cotton khakis.

Malcolm Blakeslee was a mountain of a man. His age was impossible to place. Tall and broad-shouldered, his most distinguishing feature was a thick wavy coif of golden brown hair streaked with white that brushed back majestically from his broad, unlined forehead. He had a high, aquiline nose separating a pair of dark obsidian eyes. A meticulously close-cropped beard framed a thin mouth that was curled in an open snarl of disdain. It was like being in the presence of Val’s family, except even more personal, somehow. I wanted to shrink into my shoes.

“Alexa Newland.” He uttered my name like a judge issuing a life sentence. “I had no intention of ever making your acquaintance. But Karma insisted.” The disdain in his voice stung.

“To be honest, sir, I don’t even know why I’m here.” Somewhere inside me, the panther stirred, rising to the challenge of the alpha before me. I felt an answering surge of resentment.
How dare he pass judgment on me, just because the choice I made didn’t line up with his world view?

Karma spoke then, her voice soft and deferential. “Alexa, tell Mr. Blakeslee about your dream.”

Malcolm raised one eyebrow expectantly and I launched into my story. I didn’t see why Karma thought it was such a big deal. It was just a dream, after all. But when I got to the part about the city, even Malcolm’s mood changed. The animosity was replaced with speculation. “How long have you been Were?”

“Six weeks.”

Malcolm and Karma exchanged a glance. “And Helen orchestrated your transformation? I don’t think your donor was present or I would have been made aware of a Werepanther in my territory. What method of infection did she use?”

I still hadn’t figured out where this line of questioning was going, but I didn’t think any of the information he sought was privileged. I may have owed Helen a favor, but she hadn’t asked me specifically to be discreet about my circumstances. “Blood. The donor’s blood was introduced into my system slowly over a twenty-four-hour period.”

Malcolm frowned. I got the sense that he hoped whatever was special about me was due to some kind of scientific process. From everything Helen told me, my operation was standard procedure through and through.

“Can I ask what this is all about?”

Karma looked first to Malcolm for guidance and when he gave her the nod, she proceeded with her explanation. “In your dream, you were able to express a desire to your panther and she listened. Moreover, you were able to influence her behavior based on your thoughts.”

“It was just a dream.” I still didn’t get why this was such a big deal and I was starting to get frustrated by the lack of communication. “Can somebody please just tell me what’s going on?”

Karma started to answer but Malcolm cut her off. “What is your game, Ms. Newland?” His voice was a snarl, a barely contained threat.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Malcolm got up from his chair and began to pace the room. I knew then and there that a lion waited on the other side of his full moon. “What did Helen Lambros promise you in exchange for feeding her latest bauble?”

The panther roared inside me at the rush of anger that escaped my control. I took a few deep breaths and willed myself to composure. “She didn’t have to offer anything. It was my idea in the first place. Valentine Darrow is the love of my life and I have no intention of letting her soul slip away from her because of some random act of violence.”

Malcolm stopped in front of the wall of windows on the far side of his office. He looked down on the tree-lined avenue studded with steel pavilions that made up Dag Hammarskjold Park. “Do you really believe it to have been a random act of violence?”

My heart stuttered in my chest. Malcolm’s tone was so matter-of-fact. He might have been trying to goad me into a reaction, but there was also a kernel of truth in his hypothetical. “You think Val’s attack was planned?” I shuddered and the panther clawed back to the surface of my consciousness. I clenched my fists and forced her back. This was no time to let loose my beast. I had to think.

Malcolm shrugged noncommittally. “I am ignorant on this matter. The vampires rarely fill me in on their plans, and more often than not, it becomes my job to fix the damage they wreak.” His glare bore into me as punctuation.

“So am I damaged in some way?”

Malcolm went back to contemplating the view. He was quiet so long, I thought he was dismissing me. I was just about to get up and excuse myself when he spoke again. “There are barely a handful of Weres who are able to control their beasts during the transformation. All of us are Weremasters and centuries old. As you’ve been advised, I’m sure, most Weres have a hard enough time staying in control while in human form. Retaining control in animal form is a rare gift.”

“But it was only a dream. It doesn’t mean anything. I still shift every time Valentine bites me.” My voice broke as I uttered Val’s name.

“The panther is part of your psyche. She doesn’t distinguish between sleeping and waking. If you are a panther in your dreams then she is in control. You are, effectively, a bystander in her dream.” Malcolm turned to me, dark eyes blazing. “You have to stop basing your progress as a Were on your ability to feed your lover. I find that absolutely revolting. I intended all along to have nothing to do with you, but somehow, you have managed to stumble upon a gift that so few of us possess.”

“Valentine is mine.” I insisted stubbornly. “And I am hers. There is nothing revolting about that.”

“There will come a time when you will have to choose sides, Alexa Newland. Will you choose what is within or will you choose that which is without?”

“I will always choose Valentine.”

Malcolm smiled then, though without mirth. “We will see. In the meanwhile, I will help you master your panther. Your awarenesses are opening up to each other far more rapidly than is the norm. The struggle for dominance has begun. You need to assert your will at every opportunity, especially when she’s fighting to take control of the transformation.”

I ran my hand through my hair in frustration and shook my head. “What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the past three weeks?”

“You can fight her on your turf, but not on hers. Instead, you need to speak to her in a language that she understands. Tap into your instincts. Impose your will onto her by showing her how you feel in her terms.” Malcolm’s demeanor gentled then. “When you achieve harmony with your panther, it will be because your wills are one. You can’t break her, nor do you want to. You are human. You have the unique gift of empathy. Use it to communicate with her.”

“Val wants to go to the Catskills this weekend, just the two of us. Do you think I’m ready?”

“Look in the mirror. The answer is written all over your face. Follow your instincts.” Malcolm’s phone beeped once. “That would be my three o’clock. I’m afraid I will have to end our meeting here.” Surprisingly, I heard a hint of genuine regret in his voice. He escorted Karma and me to the door, but lay a hand on my shoulder before I could cross the threshold.

“Know this. We are currently allied with the vampires because it is expedient and pragmatic. But there are significant philosophical rifts between the factions. You would do well to remember that, and take it into account when making future decisions.”

His admonition, though delivered quietly, rang with gravitas. When I nodded, he turned back to his desk, leaving me to ponder just how naïve I’d been, to believe that I could stay out of the politics of this world.

Chapter Nineteen

I woke to the sensation of the car coming to a stop. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I reached automatically for Val. She twined our fingers together and leaned over for a lingering kiss.

“Good morning, sleepycat.”

I stretched. “Some navigator I was. Sorry about that.”

Val shook her head as she curled a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “You needed the rest.” Her concerned expression morphed into a smile. “Come on. Let’s get our stuff inside.”

We stepped out onto packed snow. I inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of pine on the crisp winter air and the sound of a woodpecker drilling off in the distance. From the depths of my brain, the panther raised her head, curious. And then I felt something I’d never experienced before. Contentment. Even a sort of alien happiness. If she had been dominant, she would have been purring.

“What is it?” Val was staring at me from a few feet away. That worried expression was back, contorting her beautiful face into a frown. “Alexa?”

“She’s…happy,” I said, hearing the wonder in my own voice.

“Oh?” The bridge of Val’s nose wrinkled adorably as she thought this over. “Maybe she’s glad to be out of the city?”

“Makes sense.” I popped the trunk and grabbed the two duffels that we’d packed full of sweaters and sweats. Val was juggling grocery bags and trying to fit the key into the lock at the same time. When she finally shouldered open the door, I was right behind her. We dumped everything onto the floor and looked around the small room, our breaths steaming in the crisp air.

A wooden table and two chairs sat in the middle of the room. Along the left wall were a stove, a sink, and some cabinets, while the right wall held a large brick fireplace. There was a frayed rug on the floor and a couch directly facing the hearth. A narrow ladder led up to a loft along the far side of the house, and I didn’t resist the urge to climb up for a look. It held only a queen-sized bed and a nightstand.

“How is it?” Val said from just behind me. I shifted my feet on the rung to make room for her, smiling when she encircled my waist with one arm. “Oh, nice. Very cozy.”

“Mmm-hmm.” I kissed her neck, sucking lightly. When I heard her breathing stutter, I pulled away. I shouldn’t have been tempting fate at all, of course, but something about being all alone with her, so far from the City and the Consortium, made resisting impossible.

“While it suddenly feels hot in here,” she said, grinning, “I can still see my breath. I’ll make you a deal: you take care of the groceries and I’ll make a fire.”