Everlasting (Night Watchmen, #1) (17 page)

I don’t know why or what is compelling my feet forward, maybe stupid courage or brave curiosity, but I head off his steps. He stops right in front of me, his face so close I can smell the mint from his breath. Our chests synchronize in movement, rising and falling at a strangled pace. His eyes search mine, waiting patiently for me to make the move, testing me out, seeing if I have the guts he lacks.

My heart beats so fast, I feel like I’ll lift off the ground at any moment. “Jaxen,” I hear myself say behind the pounding in my ears. His face softens at the mention of his name, eyes glazing with hunger. My hand rests on my throat. It feels so dry, so starved, just like my lips. “I don’t know what’s happening…between us, I mean, but I…”

His eyes close for a moment, and when they open again, just for a brief second, I swear there’s resolution in his gaze. Maybe even relief. But then something, some entity that chains him down, clouds the relief, turning it back into nothing more than a look, nothing more than a wasted moment.

His hand raises up, preventing me from saying anything else. “Don’t,” he says, and that’s all he says. He turns for the door, leaving me standing with my heart open and ready. Leaving it to shrivel back into the mess it once was.

Katie appears on the other side of the door, nearly running into Jaxen. She says she’s sorry as she steadies herself, and then looks up at him, her smile slowly changing from embarrassment to total awareness. She looks over his shoulder to me, and in the instant our eyes connect, I know she knows.

“Well, hey there,” she says, giving her eyes time to prowl over him.

He looks off to the side, down the hall, like he’s used to this kind of behavior from the opposite sex. I bite my lip to cover my smile, grateful for her. Leave it to Katie.

When she looks back at me, her mouth is practically hanging open. “Good god, Faye, he’s a hunk. I’d girlfriend him so hard.” She nudges me with her hip and turns to smile at him.

“Shut up!” I mumble, my face heating to an uncomfortable level. I drop my eyes the moment his head jerks in my direction, and tuck my hair behind my ear. “He’s definitely not my boyfriend,” I add, my voice barely audible.

“He’s no one’s boyfriend. Never will be,” Jezi claims as she strolls through the doorway. Her eyes are on Jaxen, full of bitter regret. I wonder if it’s because of their bond, or something deeper. I think it’s something deeper because of the way she said it, like she’s been shafted or wronged somehow.

“Nice room,” she remarks, eyeing it over. “Novices usually stay in dorms.”

“She’s not just a novice,” Jaxen says, his tone indifferent.

“Right.” She turns to Katie, her hand already on her hip. “Look, it’s sweet that you care about your friend and all, but you really need to run along now. We have grown-up things to deal with.”

“Excuse me?” Katie says, swinging her head in Jezi’s direction. Her hand flies into the air, swatting circles in time with her words. “I’ll leave when Faye
,
my
best friend, asks me to leave.” She looks over her shoulder and winks.

Jezi snickers under her breath. “This isn’t high school. I can report you for not listening to your elders. I’m a Watchman. You’re a novice. Do the math.” Her full lips are naturally pushed out with attitude, and her hip sticks out.

The look of death marks Katie’s face. She turns just enough to glare at Jezi. “Lady, I don’t know who you think you’re…”

Unfazed by Katie, Jezi sucks her teeth and then flings an eye roll in Jaxen’s direction. “Are you going to back me up? We have things to talk about if I’m to continue training her. It’s time she finds out.”

Finds out?

“Oh, hell no,” Katie says to me. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place.

Jaxen’s eyes remain on me. I chew on my bottom lip, worried that he’ll agree to it. Worried about what I’ll do if they try to make her leave the room. It’s been too long since I’ve seen her.

An eternity passes before he gives his command. “No,” he says decidedly, a flitter of understanding showing through his steely eyes. “She’s been training hard the past
couple of weeks. She deserves a moment alone.” He’s still unmoving, still hard-pressed, but there’s a subtle shift in his aura.

Jezi mutters something under her breath that sounds a lot like a word that describes his lack of intelligence. A sneer curls her full lips, twisting her face into an unfeminine, heinous expression. She struggles with what she chooses to say next. It’s clear in the way her mouth writhes and trembles. “Fine,” she finally says. She leaves my room without another word.

I look over at Jaxen. He’s already heading after her. “She can be impossible sometimes. Sorry,” he says, dropping his gaze. “See you in the morning.” The door clicks shut behind him.

Katie whips around, pulling me to face her. It takes a moment for me to tear my gaze from the door and pry my thoughts off of Jaxen. She pulls me over to the bed and plops down, pulling her shoes off. “You have got some major explaining to do,” she says after throwing the last shoe across the room.

My Grimoire sits on the other side of me, just waiting to be invaded. I glance down and my fingers drift toward it, needing to touch it. “This was my mom’s,” I say, my voice low, my thoughts distant.

She leans back onto her elbow and props her head up, her auburn hair spilling down and blanketing her arm. Her entire demeanor changes, stiffens, when she realizes what I’m talking about. “Her Grimoire? How did you get that?”

I bite my lip. “Jaxen. He got this and my dad’s flux. They’re boarding up my home.” My insides are weak and shaky, and I don’t think they can take much more. I want to expel my sadness. I want to scream out my anger. I want to cry away the guilt and the pain for staying in such a nice room when my parents are nowhere to be found.

But I don’t do any of those things, because it would shame my father and myself, because I have to be strong.

She sighs and puts her face in her hands. “My mom still hasn’t let me see her Grimoire. She knows I need it to make it through, and she still hasn’t given it to me, not even after the party when all the other novice Witches were given theirs.”

I look over at her and my problems dissolve a little, mixing in with hers. She’s going through things too and I have to remember that. I have to be there for her just as much as she’s there for me. “She’ll come around, Kat,” I say encouragingly. “You know that. She likes making things difficult. She likes testing you.”

Katie snorts and rolls to her back. “You got that right. She wouldn’t let go of the fact that Chett never showed to meet her at Samhain. It was so embarrassing. She found his mother and practically reamed her out. My dad had to step in between them and smooth things over. Like always.” She quiets, and her eyes drop to her fingers she’s nervously tugging at. “I…I think his family is Witch-haters.”

“No, Kat…”

She cuts her gaze to mine, her voice dropping a notch. “I’m serious. His dad wasn’t there. He’s the Witch. Can you believe it? I haven’t seen a male Witch in years.”

“Or a female Hunter,” I say, and then point to myself.

“Right. But seriously, his mom was all in my mom’s face, saying I wasn’t good enough for Chett, that no Witch would be.” I can hear the emotion swelling in her voice. I know how much she was looking forward to meeting her partner. She drops her arms to her sides and then sits up, blowing out all of her angst.

“It’ll be okay,” I ease, “Maybe he just needs to be away from her to get rid of her awful attitude.”

She shrugs, her eyes growing vacant. “I see him every day, and never once does he wave or say hi. We train together when we have to, which is about three times a week, but other than that, I don’t see him. We don’t talk. We barely get along. He’s angry most of the time. Rumors are spreading that he can’t stand the sight of me, and I have no control over them. I can’t stop the laughing stock I’m becoming. No matter how hard I try, nothing is working.”

I pull her into a hug. “Do you want me to do anything?”

She sighs against me. “No. If you stepped in, then I would for sure be the laughing stock. This Academy doesn’t function like human school. We have to be able to work through our personal issues on our own. If you said anything, I would look weak. I don’t need that added to the rumors.”

I hug her tighter. “Give it time.” It’s the only advice for this type of situation. “You could never be a laughing stock. You’ll charm everyone here just like you did in grade school. The first month is always hard. Everyone is adjusting.”

“I guess we’ll find out. You umm...you brought your acceptance letter?” she asks from over my shoulder, shifting the subject back onto me.

“Yeah, I wanted to remind myself I have a choice, and that I made the right one.”

She squeezes and then sits back up, smiling at me with a little bit of sympathy. “You’re where you should be. I know it.” She pauses, and then asks, “So, not to change subjects again, but...I’ve noticed you’ve been in the Witches Quarters, huh?”

“Yeah,” I say, “how were the rumors today?”

She shrugs. “There are only twenty-six of us in my graduating class, so it’s not like there’s a whole lot being said, unless you count the second, third, and fourth year novices. That I can’t answer. We aren’t allowed to talk to them until after we pass our first quarter trial. But what I have heard is that they don’t understand why a dormant is being escorted by Watchmen all the time. Why are they escorting you?”

I tell her every last detail leading up to this moment, even of Jaxen barging into my room and yanking my sheet off and of the Vamp in the forest. Even as I say the words, I can hardly believe them. It sounds like a made up story, like a nightmare, but it’s not. It’s real and it’s become my life. “If the first two weeks has proved to be this difficult, how am I supposed to survive the rest?” I finally say.

She shrugs uncomfortably and rests her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. “I don’t know, but I’m here and I’ll help you figure it out, even if I have to sneak out.” Her tone is so gentle, like a mother’s caress.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her into a hug, feeling the familiar lump growing in my throat. Sharing the weight of everything with her, knowing that she feels
what I feel, makes me feel lighter, better, more confident that I’ll find a way through this, more confident that I’ll survive.

“We’ll work it out.” She pulls me into her shoulder. “We always do.”

K
atie left my room a
little while after we shared our experiences. I had missed her company and was glad she finally found time to come by. I felt lighter by the time I shut the door behind her, and hungrier. After washing up, I head for the dining hall near the front of campus. My heart’s racing despite the fact that I’m telling myself there’s nothing to be nervous about, but I know that’s a lie. There’s everything to be nervous about. I’m surrounded by a room full of novices from first year to fourth year who think I’m a suspicious dormant.

I blend into the crowd of novices already filing in through the front doors, and focus on the smell of dinner coming from the kitchen near the back of the large hall. Circular tables fill the main room, all with eight chairs around them. Some have pushed tables together, while others sit in the windowsills alone or carry their food outside. Elders and Grounds Keepers mix in with the group, filling the air with words and laughter. It’s the same way night after night.

I try to find Katie amongst the loud chatter and shoving, but it is like looking for a zebra in a pack of zebras; though everyone is different, they all look the same, black uniforms, anxious faces. I bite the inside of my lip and decide to continue with the flow of the crowd, which carries me to the back of the large hall where the food line forms.

There aren’t as many options as I thought there would be; lots of fruit to choose from, chicken or steak, potatoes or macaroni, green beans or corn, biscuits or corn bread, cake or ice cream. I take whatever they put on my plate, too hungry and too nervous to care, and head for the open refrigerator that offers milk or chocolate milk. I reach for the chocolate. I’m already in all black, might as well follow the pattern of darkness.

“I see you’ve been brought to the dark side,” Jaxen says from behind me. I jump at the sound of his voice, dropping the milk in the process. It smashes against the ground, but thankfully doesn’t burst open. He chuckles and bends down to pick it up for me at the same time as I do. On the way down, we bump heads hard enough to knock us both back onto our butts.

“I’m so sorry!” I rush out, rubbing at my head. My face is on fire.

“You’re growing notorious for food handling misconduct. I think I might have to report you,” he says, pulling himself back up to his feet. I meet his gaze when I stand, the fire in my face now coming from something different- the glint in his green eyes and the upturned pull of his charming smile. “It was my fault for startling you.” He puts the milk on my tray that sits on the metal stand.

“I… I’m sorry,” I say, shaking my head, realizing that I just apologized again, “I just…it was…I see you’re in a better mood, Dr. Jekyll.” My eyes grow wide the minute the thought passes through my mouth.

His grin grows a little wider, a little more crooked. “Well, I guess I’m full of surprises,” he says, reaching for a chocolate milk. He walks past me and turns to wait for me to follow. I have to pick my jaw up from off the floor and shake my head, even blink rapidly. He’s still the same Jaxen on the outside, so who could possibly be possessing his mind?

I want to ask him why the sudden interest in hanging around with me, but don’t. I follow him back out into the dining hall, watching him out the side of my eye.

“I don’t miss these days.” He looks out at all the novices filling the hall, seeming stuck between a memory and reality. I follow his gaze, trying to picture what it would be like looking through his eyes. I don’t think it’s as far off from how I see it. There are so many faces, so many voices, all of them foreign and disjointed from the path we’re walking, all of them oblivious.

I follow the perfect arch of his back, watching the way his heavy steps call attention from the people near him without ever meaning to. There’s a wild danger about him, and even amongst a sea of innocents, he can’t help but intimidate. We walk past a few more tables until I notice a particular auburn-colored head hunched over her plate. Katie’s sitting a couple tables over with two others, all looking surprisingly morose.

“I’m going to go to go say hi to Katie,” I say, not waiting to see his response. I walk over to her, hoping he follows, but not asking him to. I don’t want him to think I’m desperate or in need of his company, because I’m not…or so I tell myself.

But when I notice him following me, the pace of my heart picks up and a grin pulls at my lips, telling me otherwise.

“Hey! You’re actually here!” I call out when I reach the table. I think she flinches at the sound of my voice, but I can’t be sure because she follows up by getting up quickly and throwing her arms around my neck. There’s a desperation in the way she’s hugging me. I pull her a little tighter, feeling confused. She just left my room, happy and whole.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she says, emotion choking her words. I try to pull back to see her, because she sounds like she may be crying, but she hangs on tightly, refusing to let me go. My eyes wander over to the two others sitting at her table. Todd smiles sadly at me, like there’s a reason to be sad and the reason is Katie.

My stomach somersaults with worry.

The other at the table is a black-haired girl with small, green eyes and quirky turned up features. I smile awkwardly at them from over her shoulder. By the way they’re leaned into each other, I can tell they’re affinity partners.

She lets me go and turns to them. “This is Todd and Jia-Lu, Hunter and Witch couple.” She nearly falls back into her chair. “This is Faye, guys.” I sit next to her and smile up at them, but their eyes aren’t on me, they are on Jaxen who’s still standing behind me.

“Jaxen Gramm. Nice to meet you,” Jaxen says, sitting in the chair on the other side of me. I gulp, unsure if I’m nervous because of meeting new people, or nervous from the fact that he’s so close. And smelling so good.

“Gramm?” Todd asks, “As in the Gramm brothers?” He looks over at Jia and they exchange looks, the kind of looks you exchange with your friend after you encounter a star. Or someone with a heavy reputation.

“Yeah. One of them,” he says, his tone deflating like a balloon. He picks his fork up and digs into his food, ignoring their intrigued stares.

“So,” I say, pushing my hair over my shoulder. I open my milk and take a sip, coating the back of my dry mouth. “Where’s Chett?”

She nearly chokes on a mouthful of potatoes. Jia and Todd look at her sympathetically, and I feel a small sense of jealousy creeping into the back of my mind. They already know things about her, things that I don’t, but should, things I would know had I been a normal Primeval. They probably even share classes together, classes that I don’t have time to
be a part of, classes that I’ll never be a part of.

“He’s uh, he’s over there,” she says, pointing without looking over to her left.

“Okay,” I say lowly, looking down at the back of Katie’s head. I have yet to see her face. I don’t understand why she’s hiding, why she’s being so weird. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her hide from anything in her life, not even when her grandmother had passed. A sick, sinking feeling coils around my heart.

“Katie, what…”

I peer back over my shoulder, and, sure enough, there’s Chett. He’s standing up, one foot propped up in a chair. He’s talking to a table full of girls who all seem enamored by him. There’s another guy next to him, who looks the same in size but with blonde hair, talking to one of the girls.

“Why is he over there?” I feel a sense of betrayal for her. He’s eating up the attention with a silver spoon. The affinity bond isn’t supposed to be that way, especially not in the beginning, at least, that’s what we’ve been told our whole lives. Maybe there are more
lies than we knew what to do with.

“‘Cause Chett’s a douche bag,” Todd says, glaring over at the table. He’s sitting erect now, seeming more like a Hunter than before. “And so is his friend Mike. They both get off on bullying and flirting.” Jia wraps her arm around Todd’s, leaning into him.

“He’s ‘rebelling’ against the natural order,” Jia quotes. “He thinks he doesn’t have to follow the criteria and subject himself to just his Witch. He also doesn’t know how to treat people right. He’s let everyone know that Witches should be considered a Hunter’s property, not their equal.”

Jaxen snorts.

“I don’t understand, Kat. You didn’t tell me it was that bad,” I say, wishing she would just look up at me. “We have to do something.”

“No,” she says. “There’s nothing that can be done, nothing that will change who he is. It’s rooted into his thick skull. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay the Coven for giving me such a
wonderful
partner.” The amount of venom and disgust in her voice, I believe, could kill on spot. She stuffs her mouth full of more potatoes.

“He won’t get very far with that thinking. Someone will end up beating that train of thought out of him,” Jaxen says from over the top of his tray. “You can’t fight what’s meant to be.” I catch him looking over at my arm where my mark is and feel my face scrunch.

“Katie,” I say with force. She finally looks up at me. Her eyes are a little glossy, and just above her cheek is a dark pink, almost purple welt. A volcanic heat wave passes over my entire body, pressing my lips and eyes into a firm line.

“Who did that to you?” I can barely get the words out, I’m shaking so badly. Someone physically hurt her. Someone laid a hand on her, and I bet I know who it was.

She stares off distantly through the hall windows. Something was broken in her gaze, stolen from her. Her light, her hope, it was missing. “I don’t know why I was matched with him.” I don’t like the tremble in her voice. I reach for her arm. She looks down at my hand, and then tenses. “I’d rather not talk about it here. I’d rather not talk about it at all, not until I can gain control of my mind.”

The telepathic link.

I look back over my shoulder at the infamous Chett. His eyes are pinned on me, a scowl forming on his lips. My face stiffens, and I narrow my eyes on him, not willing to back down. “We’ll talk tonight,” I say lowly, still glaring at Chett. He’s the first to break, as if I’m not competition, and turns back to the table, picking right back up wherever he had left off with his table full of airheads.

“I can’t,” she says, regret in her voice. I look back at her. “I have a lot of reading to catch up on tonight. We have pre-screen exams tomorrow in Aura Reading and Herbology. Plus, I need to get my head in the game for quarter trials. Maybe in a couple of days?” She sounds so miserable, nothing like the girl who left my room. All because of him. He literally sucked the fun out of this for her.

“Okay.” I grab the biscuit off my plate and take an angry bite. I can’t help the millions of cruel thoughts burning through my mind. There has to be a way she can be reassigned. Maybe the Culling quartz was wrong? I know Mack won’t tolerate abuse. Someone needs to report what’s happening.

“I’m going to report his ass, Katie. He can’t touch you, not like that.” She looks at me, panic in her eyes. Before I know what’s happening, Jaxen stiffens next to me and then stands up so forcefully his chair flies backwards. I look up at him, watching the rage rolling over his face, darkening his eyes and features.
He wears a mask of confidence, an air of defiance. He’s a vision of a Hunter.

“That’s not going to happen.” It’s a voice I don’t recognize, and there’s an unfamiliar hand resting on my shoulder, gripping hard enough to leave a mark.

“Chett,” Katie says, turning to face him, “not now.” Her face is tight with anger, but her voice has an edge of fear to it. I twist under his grip and jump out of my seat, shoving him back. “Faye, don’t, please.” Her voice drops as her eyes plead with me. “You’ll embarrass me. I have to be the one to fix this.”

Katie’s words barely register. “Don’t you EVER touch me like that,” I say, my temper going from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds. He picks his gaze up from Katie and drops it on me. His eyes are so dark brown they almost look black. From this close, I can see the twisted crook in his nose. It had definitely been broken many times. I wouldn’t mind breaking it again. His hair is shaved around the sides, except for a small patch on the top that resembles a
mohawk.

“You must be Faye,” Chett says to me. His eyes roam over me, almost in an approving manner. I shudder, feeling violated and enraged. “I hear you’re some kind of super freak or something. Is that true?” He tilts his head, staring at me squarely.