Everlong (14 page)

Dillon purred just off to my left. “She’s night blind. Just look at her, all wide-eyed and wandering.” His fingers tangled in my hair. “The truest earmark of royalty.”

“Let her go,” Mason commanded from somewhere to my right. A large hand closed over my arm and tugged me away, yanking hair from my head in the process. I found myself plastered against a body I assumed was Mason’s by his sheer bulk. His grip tightened possessively.

“Mason.” I slowly pulled back while trying to touch as little of him as possible. “Can I go now? Please?” He didn’t answer.

Heavy footsteps thumped dully behind me. Then I was knocked aside, stumbling into the gingerbread porch railing and grabbing it for balance. A thick pop of knuckle on bone sounded, someone grunted, and the boards beneath my feet shuddered. Then a colder, firmer grip held me. I breathed in mint and felt the presence of irritated male.

“I don’t care where you go or how you get there,” Dillon said. “But get there fast.” He dragged me along by the viselike grip on my arm. I heard the front door open and switches flipping as he smoothed his hand along the wall. The porch flooded with light.

My eyes swallowed the glare, focusing on Mason’s supine body sprawled across the porch where, presumably, Dillon had punched him and knocked him out cold.

“Mason is young, and he’d never forgive himself for hurting you. I don’t have that problem.” He dragged me to the edge of the lawn and shoved me out into the street. “Now go before I decide having you is worth having my ass handed to me. And I’m old enough to know it’s not.”

“Thank you.” I tossed the words over my shoulder. I used the sparse overhead street lamps to help me sort out cars from hedges and buildings. After a nervous sprint across the pavement, the neon glow of the diner’s sign gave me direction. I took a few more lurching steps and pushed through the door into the restaurant.

For a change, Emma had hostess duty. Her gaze raked me from head to toe before directing her sight out the window and across the street. The curl in her upper lip bared more teeth than would make most of her patrons comfortable. I stepped up to the tiny podium covered in laminated menus. “We need to talk.”

She shuffled the already tidy cards. “Now isn’t a good time.”

“Make time.”

“Like you made time to call me?” She circled around and poked my shoulder with her finger, rocking me back on my heels. “You ran someone over and didn’t think to spare five minutes to call me and tell me you were okay?”

I grabbed her wrist, twisting her hand over and under, just like she’d taught me. Using her momentum, I brought her hand behind her back, pushing up to show her I meant business. There was only one way out of this hold and she’d have to break her arm to do it. I felt pretty confident she wouldn’t want the kids at table three to see that. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. It was stupid and thoughtless of me, but I’m here now and I want answers.”

She jerked her shoulder, testing my grip. When she only managed to pop her arm, she sighed. “Let’s do this in the office.”

I guided her forward. Situated behind the bustling kitchen, her tiny office held little else besides a secondhand desk and a chair that had seen better days before the five years we’d owned it. Corralling us inside, I released her arm and twisted the lock behind me.

She took her seat, rolling her worn chair beneath her battered desk and propping her elbows on the scarred surface. “What do you want to know?”

“I want it all. Everything you know about Clayton and Harper.”

Her cheeks paled. “You want the truth?”

“It would be a nice change of pace.”

She leaned back in her chair. “I found out by accident, you have to believe that. Otherwise, Harper never would have told me. He never meant for either of us to know.”

“Okay.” I could extend that much faith.

“I saw Clayton for the first time when you were young, around eleven or twelve and taken with a fever. You were inconsolable wanting your demon, so I went to find Harper.”

“I remember.” The fever had almost succeeded in killing me where Archer had failed. “I was bed-bound for a week.” I did the math in my head. “That means you were fifteen and he was sixteen.”

She nodded absently. “I discovered Harper meeting with Clayton in the courtyard. I didn’t recognize him, so I hid and eavesdropped on their conversation. They argued because Harper wanted to stay inside the Askaran royal house to gather intelligence for the Evanti resistance. Clayton tried to talk him out of it, saying there were enough informants already, but Harper wouldn’t listen.”

Dull, throbbing pain filled my head. I rubbed my temples in deep circles but got no relief. “You’re telling me Harper was a spy for the freeborn legion?”

It made a perfect kind of sense. I’d had the puzzle pieces, but they never clicked into place. That explained his flippant remark that he’d only stayed in Askara for me. He’d had a choice, a life, and a family outside of what we’d shared, but I hadn’t realized it until he’d brought me to this realm.

I hadn’t thought about the hows or whys of Harper’s relationship with the colony since I’d lost him. If someone talked about him, I walked away. If they asked about him, I didn’t answer. I had been so intent, so focused on surviving, I hadn’t looked beyond the end of my own nose.

Emma had been right. Denial was a river and I had been drowning in it.

“Yes, he was.”

“And you never told me?” I kicked her desk as hurt and anger mingled into a volatile cocktail within me. She frowned, so I kicked it again. “I could have helped. I could have done something to make a difference.”

“No, you couldn’t have. Harper risked enough for us all.” What little color she’d had left faded. “If you had been caught aiding the cause, then your punishment would have fallen to me, Maddie.
Me.
Not them. I couldn’t keep hurting you. Something in me died more every time I broke you. Harper knew that, and he wanted to spare us both.”

I let the horror of the past wash over me. Trying to stop the memories never worked, it only made the next time that much worse. I centered my attention on the present, on this conversation, and the answers I had to have.

“Did Harper love me at all? Was that part truth?” I had to know. “Or did he just use me to get information on my family?”

Emma’s face tightened as she tried for a smile that fell short of the mark. “He loved you very much. You have to remember he was raised alongside us before he even knew about his father or Clayton.” Her voice quieted. “You thought his wings made him an angel, but he wasn’t, not even close. You were a sister to him. He would have given his life for you, but even if things hadn’t deteriorated, he still couldn’t have taken you to mate and wouldn’t have taken you as a lover.”

There had been a time not long ago when I would have argued the point with her. I had planned a life with Harper and I thought he’d wanted the same with me.

It hadn’t been until meeting Clayton that I realized what that relationship would have lacked. Heat, desire and passion—all things Clayton brought out in me. Things I hadn’t been aware of to notice their absence between Harper and me.

I might be able to agree with Emma now, but I needed to hear her explanation since I would never know his. “But all this time you let me believe he and I would have been together here, in this new realm.”

Her mouth opened and then closed on what she would have said. “We would have told you. After lying for so long, there wasn’t an easy way out. Then he didn’t come home and I didn’t know what to do.” She stared into her hands as if they held the answers. “He was gone. And we were alone.” She wiped her down-turned cheek. When she looked up, her face was dry, but no less mottled.

I wanted to forgive her. I knew she had suffered, but so had I. “Do you know how much it would have meant to me these past few years? To know Harper had kin?”

Her runes snapped into evidence, pale purple and darkening. “Don’t play the martyr. Not with me. You would have fallen into Clayton’s arms and you know it. I couldn’t let you do that to yourself.” She pushed back in her chair. “Even Clayton deserved better. He deserved knowing you saw him and not a replacement for his brother.” Just as quickly, her own unique glamour covered the evidence of her emotions. “When I saw you two together that first night, I knew we had all made mistakes too big to take back.”

Her fingers crept across the desktop, reaching for mine. I stood and paced. Two steps forward, two steps back. I needed more room, more air.

I struggled to hold on to my waning rage. I couldn’t blame her for loving me more than anyone else ever had. My weakness had forced her into the role of protector, and she took it seriously. But I needed all the cards on the table before I could put this behind us.

“What about Clayton?” I eyed her sheepish expression. “You wanted me to think the worst of him. Why?”

Her open palms slammed against the desktop. “That arrogant bastard could have saved you. He could have made Harper stop playing hero. He could have taken you away and given you a better life somewhere far away from Askara and Archer, but he didn’t. He wouldn’t save you.” Another tear tracked down her cheek. “I begged him, but he refused to endanger the lives of his precious colonists.”

Everything was always so clear cut to Emma. She felt emotion so deeply, so absolutely, nothing else mattered when those she loved were hurting.

“Clayton was right to leave me, to leave us as we were. Harper gave his life to help his people earn the beginnings of freedom. I know it hurts, but you can’t cheapen his sacrifice by making his actions sound impetuous.” I sighed, facing another harsh truth. “You and I would have endured as well, as countless generations of Askaran females had before us. There was nothing so special about us that we should have been saved—except for the worth Harper placed on us.” I looked at her. “He was so much more than I ever realized.”

I’d had another revelation as well. “That’s why you hate Clayton so much,” I surmised, feeling the rest of my anger fall away. “He knew firsthand the risks Harper and others legionaries had undertaken. Because of that, he understood the life of one princess wasn’t worth the risk to hundreds of freed Evanti and their families.”

Emma offered six words in her defense. “You were worth it to me.”

Of course her reason would have been me. She never thought of herself. I didn’t think she knew how. I sat on the edge of her desk and reached out to her.

“You did what you thought was right. We all did.” I took her damp hand in mine. “And I couldn’t have asked for a better big sister.”

I squeezed her fingers. She squeezed back. Forgiven and forgotten.

Her brow creased. “What will you do now? I mean, about this thing between you and Clayton?”

“I don’t know. I care about him, a lot, but so much has happened so fast. I don’t know where my head is.” Or my heart, but neither of us were ready to hear that said aloud.

“He won’t pressure you to decide.” This time her voice held grudging respect.

I laughed, breaking the tension just enough for us both to smile and really mean it. “I know. He said he doesn’t want to see me until I’m…” My cheeks heated. “Well, not for two more days.”

“I think you’re making the right choice. Both of you have a lot to think about.”

Behind me, the doorknob rattled. A few sharp raps of knuckle on hollow core door ended our impromptu meeting. I turned the deadbolt and found Marci poised with her fist raised to knock again.

“What do you need?” I wedged a stopper beneath the open door.

Her gaze darted across the hall towards the kitchen. She didn’t get a chance to speak before the scent of char filled the small office. I coughed and fanned my face. “What is that smell?”

“I had just finished my rounds up front when a customer commented on the stink. A couple even left before I could find the problem.” She pointed to her nose. “I would have said something sooner, but my allergies are acting up and I can’t smell a damn thing.”

“Lynn.” Emma shoved us aside, mumbling. “What is that girl up to now? Can’t turn my back for a minute…”

I followed Emma’s bouncing gait into the kitchen. Rounding the corner, we walked into a disaster. Lynn hunched over the telephone, curling the cord around her finger while ignoring the Dutch oven left bubbling too high on the stovetop. My eyes watered even from the doorway.

A resigned sigh shifted Emma from unburdened sister back into business owner. “Lynn.” The woman spun around and hung up guiltily. “You know we have a policy against making personal phone calls while on the clock.”

Lynn pointed to the phone. “Sorry, but that was Andrew. He called to tell me Clayton organized a last-minute raid. They’ve just left for Askara.”

I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “He’s not well enough to travel.”

Lynn’s stare said she felt differently. “Andrew said it was sudden. Clayton got a tip about a pocket of slaves being held under light guard in the outlands.” She sighed, clearly unhappy to be without her male. Somehow that managed to earn points with me regardless. “He said to expect him home in two days. Three days tops.”

Emma turned down the soup and gave it a quick stir. “Thanks for the update, but that’s no excuse to neglect your duties. If you can’t get your act together, then I’ll have to let you go. This place pays all of our bills. If you burn it to the ground while making goo-goo voices to your male over the phone, then we’ll all be ruined.” She lifted the spoon to taste the stew, winced, then lifted it off the stove and poured it down the drain. Hours of work, wasted.

Lynn answered quickly, rushing to grab a rag and wipe the broth drying on the stovetop. “I’m sorry. I’ll try harder, I promise. I’m just not myself when Andrew has to leave.”

“I can sympathize.” Emma filled the blackened pot with soapy water while eyeing her now-wary employee. “But Marci’s male is in rotation too. She works part time and has two little ones underfoot as well. I don’t see her setting my kitchen on fire while cooing goodbyes to Lester.”

Lynn stared at the chipped tile floor. “I’ll start the dishes.”

“No,” Emma said. “I’ll take the dishes. You finish up with the customers we have left. Go ahead and flip the sign while you’re up there. No one else will want to smell this while they’re eating anyway.”