Evernight (The Night Watchmen Series Book 2) (51 page)

“About your mom?”

He nods.

“It might make you feel better if you understand her reasoning,” I say, running the cloth back under the water. I wring it out again, and then dab at the cut above his eye.

His gaze darkens. “I don’t want to feel better. Not about what she did, because that would mean the past twelve years of my life that I spent in utter torment and complete hatred was all for nothing. All because she didn’t explain herself before she ran from us and left us to pick up the pieces, moving from house to house until Mack took us in.” He grabs my hand, stopping me, and locks eyes with me.

He looks like a twelve year-old boy again, lost and confused. Scared and alone. And I want to hold him tight and chase his demons away.

“To think there was a reasonable explanation for it, and she didn’t have the gall to tell us, well… I don’t think I could forgive her for that.”

I set the cloth down and pull him into a hug. A warm, understanding hug. It only takes him a second until he settles into it and wraps his arms around the small of my waist, squeezing me tightly, almost desperately.

The pain a parent can leave behind is an irreversible kind. A pain we can learn to manage, but never truly get rid of. It’s a living, breathing monster that seeps into a child’s open, innocent heart, and there it lives, thriving off every happy moment. Chipping away at every chance we have at letting the pain go so we can really live. Because you never get over losing a parent, no matter the reasons why.

Not really.

I have to open my stinging eyes because I see my parent’s faces when they close. It’s their smiles, their love, and the sacrifices they made just to keep me safe. It’s the fact that because of me… because of our Coven… because of who we are, Primeval, that they’re gone. That they left me to figure this out all on my own.

And on some level, that’s what Jaxen has felt his entire teen-to-adult life. And now he’s being forced to face it head-on, and it scares the crap out of him.

“What if I can’t forgive her?” he says, his voice choked with raw emotion.

“No one expects you to,” I say softly, running my hands through the back of his hair, holding him tighter to me. “Just hear her out. That’s all you have to do.”

He tugs in a stifled breath and pulls himself out of the hug, forcing strength back into his stance. Pulling himself back together like he always does. “Yeah,” he relents. He ruffles his hands through his hair, exhaling with a loud grunt. “Why do I always get so emotional when I think about her?”

I tilt my head to the side. “Because she’s your mom, Jax, and you love her. It’s okay to love her. It’s okay to hurt because of her. It’s okay.”

Dropping his hands to his side, his face softens. He runs his hands along my cheeks until they’re safely wrapped around my neck, and then pulls me in for a kiss. Not a knock-your-socks-off kind of kiss, but the kind that tells me he loves me. The kind that only
he
could give me.

When he’s done, he kisses my cheek, my nose, and then my forehead. “Words can’t touch what I feel for you.”

I place my hand over his rapidly beating heart. “They don’t have to.”

I’d like to thank Shannon L. Dearing for providing the first name, Charles Shields for providing the middle name, and Wanda Greene-Swafford for providing me with the last name for High Priest Seamus Everett Sullivan.

I’d like to thank my beta readers Pamela, Caissy, Cherie, Joy, Megan, Sabina, Tarnya, and Wanda for taking the time to read
Evernight
. Your priceless advice helped clean it up before it landed in the lap of my magnificent editor Cynthia. I’d also like to thank Sonya Loveday, as always, for remaining by my side and talking me through every single Faye-induced meltdown I’ve had. I’d like to thank my mom, and my husband for being the support that carries me through the constant creative battle. I’d also like to thank every fan and every reader for entering this world that haunts my every moment.

Candace Knoebel
is the award-winning author of
Born in Flames
—book one in a young adult fantasy trilogy. She discovered in 2009 through lunch breaks and late nights after putting her kids to bed, a world where she could escape the ever-pressing days of an eight to five Purgatory. And an outlet for all the voices residing in her head.

Published by 48fourteen in 2012,
Born in Flames
went on to win Turning the Pages Book of the Year award in February of 2013. In January of 2014, the last book in the trilogy,
From the Embers
, was released, thusly completing the trilogy. She now works on the
Night Watchmen Series
, while guzzling Red Bulls and pretending to be a ninja on Heelys.

You can visit her online at www.candaceknoebel.com

or

https://www.facebook.com/candaceknoebel

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♥ Candace knoebel