Every Day is Like Doomsday (32 page)

This was the first time Red had hit him with his fist
instead of a piece of junk. And it hurt. Still, self-preservation kicked in and he aimed the nightmare gun but then
Red kicked it away and stomped on Elliot’s hand. Then
he twisted his boot. Elliot felt something pop. Warmth
flooded through his hand and wrapped around his arm
like fire. He screamed.
“Go ahead, you little rat. Scream. No one’s going to
hear you.”
“I will,”said Mr.Magnificent,who leveled something
that looked like a shotgun at Red. He fired without warning. A glowing green lasso leapt out of the barrel, wrapped
itself around Red,trapping his arms and as he screamed and
struggled he slowly faded away. Soon there was nothing
left but the faint odor of burned flesh, although that could
have been wafting from elsewhere in the battle.
“Where’d he go?” asked Elliot as he stood and
dusted himself off. His left hand was throbbing and he
couldn’t move three of his fingers. He cradled the injury
with his other hand and tried hard not to pass out as a
wave of nausea and pain swept through him.
“Don’t know.That looks bad.” Mr. Magnificent gestured to his hand. “But it will have to wait because I have
to kick your ass now.”
Elliot wasn’t sure if he had heard correctly and managed to get out a, “Huh?” and then Mr. Magnificent took
one of his magnificent hands and punched Elliot right in
the stomach. Elliot doubled over and when he clenched
his side with his broken hand he screamed but there was
no air left in his lungs. He stumbled backwards, trying to
put some distance between himself and Mr. Magnificent,
who seemed to have multiple personalities.
“Sorry about this, little buddy,” said Mr. Magnificent as he stalked Elliot.
“If you’re sorry then why do it?” gasped Elliot. Mr.
Magnificent took a lazy swing at him and Elliot ducked
out of the way just in time. He wondered if the ex-hero
was simply playing with him.
“It’s all about perception,” he explained as he took
another swing. “You see, my boss can’t know that I’ve
defected because if you and your friends lose this battle, I won’t. So even though I don’t want to kill you, and
trust me, if I had wanted to your insides would have been
turned to mush with that first punch, at least this way I
appear to be following orders.”
He swung again. Elliot, having regained his breath
and his balance, danced out of the way once more. He
kept backing up, leading them onto the main floor. Once
there, he saw Lester sneaking in through a side door and
then disappearing behind a pile of rubble. He couldn’t be
sure but he thought that Lester had shed his straightjacket. Elliot didn’t have time to decide it that was a good
thing or a bad thing because there beside the pile Lester
had skirted, with the battle raging around him, stood his
father, watching him. Craig stood beside the Senator but
he was staring at a phone and Elliot was suddenly furious
that the man didn’t even have enough respect for him to
watch him get pulverized. That was it. Elliot was done.
With all of this.
Elliot shouted, “So what you’re saying is that you’re
a coward. You don’t have the guts to stand up for what
you believe in and you’re willing to follow whichever
leader happens to be the strongest.”
Mr. Magnificent’s face transformed from merely
ugly to patently demonic as he contemplated the insult.
Then with a scream of rage he ducked his head and
hurled himself at Elliot. At the last second Elliot jumped
out of the way and Mr. Magnificent crashed into a pile of
junk, tunneling into it when he couldn’t stop his own forward motion. Several of the fights going on around him
stopped at the sound and then someone yelled, “Timber!”
Elliot looked up to see the pile of junk was tilting
dangerously. Mr. Magnificent had destabilized the pile
and even though it wasn’t one of the largest it would certainly do some damage if it fell on anyone.
“Run!”shouted Elliot as he took off toward the other
side of the massive room where his fight had started, hoping to find the nightmare gun. Villains scurried over one
another like cockroaches, trying to escape the crushing
weight of hundreds of pounds of scrap metal and junk.The
sounds of the crash reverberated through his chest as the
pile toppled and the cacophony downed out all else. Once
he was out of reach he stopped to assess the damage.
The battle appeared to have stalled, for the most
part, when the pile fell. Villains were helping each other
out of the rubble, holding wounded arms or legs or torsos.
Elliot felt his heart seize at the sight of one of The Twins
cradling the head of the other one, who appeared to be
unconscious.
“This is my fault,”Elliot muttered.His brain couldn’t
understand or process the destruction that had happened
in this room and threatened to shut down completely.
“No, this is your father’s fault,” said a voice and
before he could look over to see who it was someone
slapped him across the face.
“What was that for?” Elliot whined as he looked up
to see Innya, her icy blue eyes hard and determined, her
lips in a grim line.
“Stop being a pussy and take charge,” she said. She
stretched out her hand and Elliot shied away from it instinctively before realizing that she held the nightmare gun.
Elliot winced as he took it from her. She was right.
His father had started this. And now it was personal.
“Yippie kay-yay,” he said with a grin that was part vengeful glare and part grimace.
“Stop stealing my line,” Innya warned and a
moment later she was gone.
The course was suddenly crystal clear in his mind.
Elliot sauntered into the battle, adrenaline pumping
through his veins and dulling his pain, and one by one he
worked his way through the throng, almost undetected,
dropping those of his enemies who continued to fight
with stealthy accuracy. But the entire time his eyes were
trained on his father and Craig. Resolve and anger fueled
his forward motion, adrenaline sharpened his reflexes
and his senses and his gun allowed him to avoid being
punched again.
When he finally reached his father in the center of
the melee the Senator was looking the other direction.
Craig was still studying something on his phone.
“Hey, you,”yelled Elliot. Craig looked up and Elliot
said, “You, sir, are an asshole.” And then he threw a punch
with his right hand that collided with Craig’s temple and
sent the skinny ginger crumpling to the ground before he
could say a word in his defense. Elliot’s father turned then
and dispassionately looked at Craig lying on the ground
at his feet, and then at Elliot.
“What the fuck is the matter with you, Dad?” asked
Elliot. He had to scream to be heard over the din.
His father looked at him. For several seconds his face
was devoid of recognition and then all at once he seemed
to realize whom he was talking to. “What do you mean?”
“You’re killing these kids or asking them to die for
you. You tried to kill me, your son and only child. That’s
not okay.”
“I’m a Villain. It’s what I do.”
Elliot was floored. For lack of a better strategy he
stomped on his dad’s foot hard enough to make him
jump and howl.
“That’s for being a shitty dad,” he said, barely realizing that he no longer had to yell to be heard. And then,
since his dad’s face was so close, he couldn’t help punching him, just once.
“And that’s for trying to have me killed.”
Once that line was crossed, however, Elliot wasn’t
able to stop, and another punch knocked his dad to the
ground, where Elliot kicked him in the groin, screaming now. “And that’s for never being there. And that’s for
building this stupid school and making me come here.
And that’s for mom—“
A hand touched his shoulder, the pressure gentle
but insistent, and it broke his focus. Elliot turned to see
Innya staring at him with something akin to compassion
in her eyes. He realized then that the warehouse had gone
silent. The battle had stopped. Whoever was left standing
on both sides had stopped fighting to watch him kick his
dad’s ass.
Elliot felt the adrenaline dissipate and shame
rushed in to take its place. He started to shake. His left
hand began to throb in time with his heartbeat and his
right hand didn’t feel much better.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” Elliot muttered as
Innya led him away. He didn’t see her flick her head over
her shoulder. He wasn’t paying attention to much else.
“Yes, you should have. It was a long time coming
but you finally stood up for yourself. Now get out of the
way so we can finish the job.”
At that Elliot shook himself free of Innya. They
stared at each other for a moment and Elliot slowly,
“What do you mean?”
“She means that she has more balls than you’ll ever
have,”said Elliot’s father.He labored to climb to his feet and
once there he straightened his coat and his scarf. If it hadn’t
been for the dusty footprints now decorating his jacket no
one would be able to tell he had just had his ass handed to
him. “You can kick and punch all you want but you’d never
be man enough to finish the job. You’re not a Villain.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” said Elliot, but
no one heard him over the sound of breaking glass and
screaming metal from above.They all turned their attention
upwards in time to see shards of glass twinkling as they fell
and Mr. Magnificent swooping across the ceiling.
“But I
am
a Villain, Senator,” said Mr. Magnificent
in his most super-hero-like voice, his bulgy chest puffed
up like a caricature of a much better superhero.
“No, you’re not,” said the Senator, “You
were
a Villain, and a bad one at that. So we gave you the persona
of a superhero and the righteous indignation to go along
with it. You are a fraud and you cannot stop me because
you are programmed to obey me.”
“I obey no one,” said Mr. Magnificent. His voice
wasn’t quite as authoritative as before and his jet pack
lowered him a little closer to the floor.
“Really? Then why did you just punch yourself in
the face?”
Mr. Magnificent immediately punched himself in
the face. His nose started to bleed. “Ow,” he said. His jet
pack lowered him to the floor and he looked deflated. As
pissed as he was that Mr. Magnificent had beaten him
up, Elliot couldn’t help feeling a little bad for the guy. He
was a tool but only because he was programmed that way.
“I could have made you all rich and beloved by millions but you had to go and screw it up. We were going to
take over the world. Small countries and municipalities
first, but growing ever larger as our number swelled, aided
by my school.” The Senator paused and glanced around
the ruined room and its broken Villains. “We could have
been everything.”
The Senator turned and fixed Elliot with a haughty
stare, “For your information, your mother—“
Innya shouted, “Lester, NOW!”
“What?” asked Senator Vane.
Lester leaped from his perch on the catwalk above
them, his enormous mouth agape, his rubbery lips flapping and his tongue lolling to the side like a really stupid
dog with its face hanging out of the car window. He
landed with his mouth on the senator. For a moment
there was a Senator-shaped bulge in Lester’s cheeks but
it disappeared as he swallowed the Senator whole.

“What the…? I mean… I just… Holy shit!” Elliot
exclaimed. He started to run over to where Lester sat, his
face twisted into what Elliot thought was a satisfied grin,
but Innya grabbed his arm.

“Don’t get too close. That might have looked like a
big meal but he digests quickly. He’s had his eye on you
since you arrived and now that he knows you’re no longer
the Zombie all bets are off.”

Elliot stopped and turned around. He tried to keep
the tears out of his eyes as he said, “You killed my father.”
Innya shrugged. “He was lousy. I thought you’d be
happy.”
“But he was still my father. I told you I didn’t want
him dead and you agreed.”
“I lied.”
“We had to do it,” said Casio, coming out from
behind a pile of rubbish, a large black tire mark across
the front of her light blue pea coat, “It was the only way.”
Elliot became aware that the other Villains were
forming a ring around Innya and him but he didn’t care.
“How can you act like you didn’t just kill someone?
What’s wrong with you?”
“Duh, we’re Villains.”
Elliot grit his teeth and took them all in. Taking
a deep breath, he said, “That’s it, then. I vow to avenge
my father’s death with my last breath. I vow…” his voice
trailed off as Mr. Magnificent came forward and put his
arm around Innya’s waist.Jealousy flared hotly within him,
compounding his grief, and he squeaked out, “What’s
this?” in a tone normally only heard by dogs.
“This isn’t working out,” said Innya.
“What?” His voice had reached the level only dogs
could hear.
“You’re not a Villain. And you’re a nice guy and
all but that’s actually the problem. We have nothing in
common.”
“You’re dumping me for him? But he’s a good guy
now.” Elliot gestured to Mr. Magnificent, who grinned
and gave Innya a squeeze.
“She’s my babe, now, pipsqueak,” he said.
Innya pushed the lumbering ex-superhero away.
“Can it, tubby.”
“That’s just programming, Elliot. People can be deprogrammed. But you and I… We’re not a match.”
“But…” Elliot said, his words and his pride quickly
failing him, “Can we at least still be friends?”
Innya shook her head. “I don’t think that would be
a good idea.”
Elliot couldn’t even speak. He knew he should have
struck her down, or called her out, or finished his oath of
revenge. But he cared for her, dammit, even now as she
was breaking his heart.
“Where will you go?” he asked. “Where will all of
you go?”
“I don’t know,” said Innya and the others echoed
her sentiments. “What about you? Are you going to try
to clear your name?”
Elliot rejected that idea almost immediately. “No.
There’s nothing left for me as Elliot. I think I’ll go into
hiding for a while, start a life somewhere else.”
Innya nodded and smiled, and then turned and left.
Mr. Magnificent followed behind her like a puppy.
Elliot stood there and watched the girl of his
dreams walk away from him, as those Villains left standing shuffled about, forming small groups, dragging the
fallen, both dead and stunned, into the center of the room.
A short but significant part of his life had just ended and
he wasn’t sure how to feel about it.
And then Innya returned, her black duffel bag slung
over her shoulder. Elliot felt a pang in his chest and he
realized that he was going to miss that little zing he felt
whenever Innya looked at him.
“What now? Come back to gloat?”He couldn’t help
being sour, she had broken his heart, after all.
“Not quite,” she said. She took his hand and drew
him into the shadows of a junk pile, away from the prying eyes of the others. Once they were out of sight she
dropped the bag and threw her arms around his neck and
kissed him.
Elliot wrapped her in his arms and kissed her back.
He had never been so aware of the fit of her body against
his, the smell of her hair, this time like coconut. And for
the first time he felt that there was no pretense to the kiss.
This wasn’t about anger or control. It was just about them,
a boy and a girl who cared for each other, saying goodbye.
Innya ended the kiss but hugged him tightly with
her thin yet freakishly strong arms. She had to be on her
tiptoes because she was resting her chin on his shoulder
and she wasn’t that tall. Elliot smiled at the image in his
head; thinking of her on tiptoes made her seem somehow
less Villainous and more adorable. He almost expressed
that out loud but thought better of it at the last minute.
He wanted their parting to remain bittersweet and he
had already been punched too many times that day.
“I’m sorry how things have worked out,” she said,
her breath tickling his neck. She seemed reluctant to walk
away and Elliot was fine with that because he didn’t want
to let her go. Once he did he knew he’d never see her
again. “In another time or place, perhaps…”
“I thought Villains didn’t apologize.”
“Don’t be an ass, Elliot. I’m trying to do the right
thing here.”
“What, no foreign insults? Should I be offended?”
“
Sacapuntas
,” she said, pulling away from him. The
genuine affection in her ice blue eyes made Elliot’s heart
ache and rejoice at the same time.
“I’ll be the best pencil sharpener you’ve ever seen,”
he joked, his voice catching slightly at the end.
“You already are.” Innya leaned forward and kissed
him gently on the corner of his mouth. She sighed and
closed her eyes and whispered against his mouth, “You
really killed it. Goodbye, Elliot.”
“Goodbye, Innya. Take care.”
When she walked away Elliot thought something
was different. Then he looked down and saw the black
duffel bag at his feet. “Innya,” he called out as he picked
up the bag, “You forgot something.”
Innya called over her shoulder without turning
around, “No, I didn’t.” And then she was gone.
Elliot stared at the bag and contemplated opening it but the sounds of the others moving around gave
him pause. He should wait until he was alone. He hoisted
the bag over his shoulder and took off toward his dorm.
Whatever else happened he would be leaving the VA
before sunrise.
Once safely in his dorm room with the door
locked, Elliot dropped the duffel bag on his bed. He sat
beside it and, both nervous and excited about what he
might find inside, and unzipped it with shaking fingers.
A relieved smile spread across his face as he saw three
stacks of hundred dollar bills with paper wraps reading
“$5,000 National Bank and Trust”. He didn’t know how
she had managed to get away with stealing it during their
botched robbery but he was grateful nonetheless. It would
be enough to get out of town and find a place to hide, at
least, and he felt confident he could take it from there.
He set the money aside and plucked one of his
father’s fake passports out of the pile of IDs, passports
and documents they had stolen and opened it. The passport was for a Mr. David Black. He thought at first that
Innya had just given him his father’s information to do
with as he pleased but when he looked at the photograph
and saw his own face looking back at him from beneath
a tangle of ginger curls his smile turned into a raucous
laugh. He set that passport aside and opened some more,
giggling all the while.
Innya, that diabolical genius, had saved his life once
again.