Everything (19 page)

“Were your parents organ donors?” Ruthann slid another piece of paper across the table.

“I don’t know. It’s not something they talked about with us.”

“We can look it up. I know this is a sensitive subject, but organ donation is time-sensitive, and if we don’t ask, then...well...” She looked at me expectantly.

“Are you asking me to give their organs away? Now?” I asked, appalled. Could I even do that?

“Yes,” she said, straight-faced.

I panicked. “I can’t make that decision. I’m not...I mean...I mean...I can’t...I haven’t even talked this over with Aria. She should get some say in this...I can’t make this kind of decision without her.”
 

“I’m afraid, you being their surviving relative, you have no choice.”

I looked at Ruthann spitefully. I wanted to hate her for forcing me to make such a big decision right this second. But deep down, I knew she was just doing her job. I didn’t want anyone to have to remove any part of Mom, to take anything of hers out. Not even Wally. But I knew that she was such a giving person, and there was no doubt in my mind that she would have wanted this. So with a shaky hand and more tears, I signed the paper that would allow someone to have their heart, lungs, eyes, liver, and kidneys.

“Okay, this is the last one. This is to release their belongings to you.” She slid another paper across the table.

I finished signing the papers, and Ruthann stood up with a sympathetic look on her face and apologized for my loss again. Shooting Opal a look, Ruthann left the room. Opal turned to me then and put her hands on my shoulders.

“You alrigh’ to go back out there? That lil’ chile need you to be strong.” She looked me in the eye.
 

When I nodded, she continued. “I know this here is hard, but she ain’t as strong as you and she need you to look afta her. Sometime I need that too, but she need it th’ most. That lil’ chile thinks you the moon and stars, Daceymae, and right now you all she got.”

“I know,” I said simply. What more could I say to that? I knew all of that. It was what I had been telling myself since I had gotten the call three hours ago. Aria needed me. She needed her sister to tell her it was going to be okay. But who would tell me?

We walked back to the small private room. Mrs. Delgado had gotten Aria to drink some of her water, and she looked less pale. She came over to me and took my hand
 

“Are you ready to go home?” I asked her.

“Home? Can’t I go to the dorm with you?” She looked on the verge of tears again.

“Hush now, chile. Dacey going home too,” Aunt Opal lulled.

“You’re coming home?” she asked, hopeful.

I hadn’t even thought about it. I was going to have to move back home. There was no way I could stay at the dorms now. I couldn’t leave Aria in the house alone. She was eighteen, so she wasn’t a minor, but she was only
just
eighteen.

“Yeah, I’m coming, A. Don’t worry.” I patted her arm, and she seemed to relax a little.

Just then, Mr. Davis came in and Opal went to him, leaving my side vacant. Trevor came over.

“How you doing, babe?” he stroked my hair.

“I’m just ready to take Aria home.” I looked up at him.

“Whenever you’re ready, I can drive you two.” He kissed my forehead again. “I’m so sorry, baby. I just don’t know what I can do for you. I hate to see you like this.”

“You’re doing it. You’re here. That’s enough. We are ready now.” I smiled meekly at him.

“I’ll go pull the car around. I went over and picked up Opal, but I think she is getting a ride from Mr. Davis now.” He made a motion with his eyes over to Opal and Mr. Eugene looking over at us.
 

Mr. Eugene started walking over to us with Opal closely following. “Aria, Dacey, I’m so very sorry to see you again under these circumstances. I was shocked and saddened to hear the news and very sorry for your loss.” He looked gravely between the two of us.

“Thank you,” we both said in unison, somberly.

He smiled sadly and said he would see us in a little while, as he was going to take Opal over to our house.
 

Riley came over to say he would see us later and said good-bye. I stopped him to thank him for everything he did but couldn’t really find the words.

“It’s okay. I’m glad I could be there to help. No thanks necessary. Call me if you need anything. I mean it.” He looked over at Aria. “You too, kiddo.”
 

“Thanks, Ri-Ri.” She smiled at him weakly.

Mrs. Delgado came over to stand in front of us.

“I was supposed to head out today, but I’m staying until things are settled. I’m just going to go and check in at the Shaddy Groves Inn and then I’ll come over and see about you girls.”

“Oh, please don’t stay at the inn, Mrs. D. Mom changed Dad’s study about two years ago into a guest room. You are welcome to it. Please,” I begged. I didn’t think I wanted to be alone in the house without my parents, so to have Mrs. Delgado and soon Tina would be a welcome distraction.

“Maybe just until Tina gets in,” she gave in. “I’ll make a few calls and see you girls there.” Kissing us both on our cheeks, she left.

That left Aria and me standing there, holding hands and waiting for Trevor to pull the car around. As we were making our way to leave, a nurse stopped us to give us the personal belongings I had signed the release for earlier. I took them somberly from her in my other hand and thanked her while Aria eyed the bag with wide eyes. We met Trevor outside just as he was pulling up. We climbed into his truck and then made the short and silent ride home.

When we pulled up, seeing the driveway empty, it dawned on me that I didn’t even know whose car they had been in, Mom’s or Dad’s? Where had they been going or coming from? What was going to happen to the house or to Dad’s shop? I knew I would eventually have to call that Officer Parks guy to find out what really happened with the accident. I pushed it all aside and focused on what was in front of me: Aria. She was somber in the back seat playing with the end of her shirt—something she did to keep her hands busy when she was uncomfortable or nervous.

I looked back at her before getting out of the truck. “We’ll pick up your car tomorrow or something, okay?”
 

“It’s okay. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

“It’s not like we
can
go anywhere,” I added.

Trevor shot us a confused look. I couldn’t explain to him that now we were marked, labeled. We would always be labeled as the girls who lost both their parents in a horrible car crash in one day. Everyone would stare at us and whisper and give us the sympathetic looks and frowns because that’s what you did in a small town, and I hated it.

We got out, and I unlocked the front door. The house was unnaturally quiet. It was going on three o’clock in the afternoon, and though no one would have been home at this time of day anyway, it was like the house knew. A heavy silence fell upon Aria and me as we walked in. The house felt strange to be in. Knowing they would never step foot in it again was...surreal. Aria felt it too.

“Wow,” she breathed.

“I know.” As I sat my keys down on the small table next to the door and walked farther into the living room, Trevor came up behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“What do you need me to do, babe?” he asked, looking helpless.

“I don’t know...I don’t know what to do.” I looked up at him.

Aria had gone upstairs to her room and closed the door. I needed to go and check on her, but I wanted to give her some time.

“Well, you need clothes. Let me go and get your stuff from your dorm.”

“Yeah, okay, but hurry back.”

“Of course.” He looked at me painfully before dropping a kiss on my cheek and leaving me standing alone in the living room.

I looked around at the pictures on the wall and the memories, at Wally’s chair that he always sat in reading the paper each night, and at mom’s books on the shelves. I stood there and took it all in for I don’t know how long, lost in it all, until the doorbell shook me out of my reverie. I went over to answer it, but it opened before I got there and Aunt Opal walked in.

“Sorry, I didn’t know if you heard me.”

“It’s okay. You can come in. We just got here a few minutes ago.”

Mr. Davis was with her, but he quickly excused himself, saying it was a time for close family and he would return later to take Opal home.

“But, of course, should you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call. I won’t be far,” he added, looking at me.

“Thank you, Mr. Eugene.”

He placed a small kiss on Aunt Opal’s cheek and was out the door. Opal turned to me. “Where’s the lil’ chile?”

“She went upstairs when we came home.”

“Why don’tcha go see ’bout her? You two should be togetha. I’ll see ’bout these people comin’ in.”
 

I heard car doors slam outside. I didn’t have to be told twice. I knew it was a Southern tradition for people to pay their respects when someone dies, but I knew they gave the family time to grieve in private before that happened. I just didn’t know how long that time was. I had no idea who pulled up outside, and I didn’t wait to find out. Taking the stairs two at a time, I went straight to Aria’s room and found her on her bed huddled in a ball, just lying there with her back to the door. I went to her and molded myself to her frame, wrapping my arms around hers and laying my cheek against hers.

“You okay, sissy?” I asked a dumb question.

She just shook her head and let out a telling sigh at the same time I did. We lay there together until the door to the room opened and closed. The bed dipped down and another body molded itself to my back, her cheek resting on mine, arms snaking around both of us.

“I came as quickly as I could,” Tina said softly.

“Jussy.” Aria let out a cry the same time I let out, “Tina,” in a breath.
 

Tina squeezed her arms around both of us.

“
Yo sé, lo siento
,” she cried.

A fresh wave of tears hit us, and all three of us lay there and cried for my parents until there were no more tears, just whimpers and hiccups. There was a knock at the door, and Mrs. Delgado poked her head in.

“Girls,
tienes hambre
? I made sandwiches,” she said, although she seemed to know the answer. We each said that we were not hungry, and she left saying she would check with us later.
 

“She’s just going to check back every hour until you eat, you know,” Tina advised.

“Yeah, well, I don’t think I’m going to be eating tonight so...” I trailed off.

“My appetite has gone on hiatus,” Aria agreed.

“Yeah, I think she knows, but that still won’t stop her from hovering. It’s a Spanish thing.”
 

We were quiet for a little while, then I remembered she must have been in class when Riley called at that time of day, so I asked her about it.

“Yeah, I was in the professor’s class, you know,
the
professor, and my phone rang. I saw that it was you, and I know you never call unless it’s a 911, so I excused myself to answer it and that’s when Riley told me. I called my mom on the way to my car, and she was here and said she would go to the hospital, and, well...here I am.”

“Wow, Tina you could have finished your day. I mean, you didn’t have to come all the wa—”

“The hell I didn’t!” she cut me off. “You’re my best friend, my sandbox. This brat here is like my kid sister. Anything happens to you guys, it affects me too.
Me duele, que te duele
, understand?” she fumed.

 
I understood enough of her Spanglish to know that last part meant something like if it hurts me, then it hurts her, or something like that. It touched me to know that she had dropped everything to come be with me—us—when I needed my best friend the most.

I nodded that I understood, and she seemed satisfied with that. We had all sat up when Mrs. Delgado had come in and were still seated now.
 

Aria was quietly looking down. I lightly touched her knee to draw her attention. “You doing okay?” I asked her.

She slowly looked up at me. “Now Mom would never see.”

“Never see what?” Tina asked, but I knew.

“Never see
The Frost
, Jussy...my play.
If
I get cast...and
if
I do it,” she added the last part more to herself.

“Why wouldn’t you want to do it?” Tina asked, looking confused.

We explained the story behind
The Frost
to Tina and that it was a sort of gift for Mom and me from Aria, and now that Mom was gone, I totally got why Aria didn’t want to do it anymore, but Tina didn’t. She thought that, if anything, Aria should want to do it more.

“Don’t you see? It would have all been for nothing. You doing the audition, getting her hopes up, all of it, for nothing. And besides, don’t you think that she is watching you and will be disappointed if you just give up?”

Tina had a point, and I think Aria saw that point, but because Tina was being so rational and Aria only wanted to hear irrational, Aria was getting upset with her.

“Jussy, you don’t get it? It’s easy for you to say all this. Your parents didn’t just die!”

“You’re right, and I’m sorry that yours did, but I don’t think your mom—”
 

“Don’t tell me what my mom would think! She can’t think anything because she’s fucking dead!” screamed Aria.

“
Aria
!” I yelled, getting up. “Calm down! Screaming at Tina won’t bring them back.”

“Jussy...I’m...I’m sorry,” she stammered, before running to Tina and throwing her arms around her.

“Hey, it’s okay. You think that hurt my feelings?” Tina stroked her hair.

Aria mumbled something inaudible in Tina’s hair.

Tina looked at me, and I looked at her, and we smiled. It was the first genuine smile I had smiled since this whole shitty ordeal started.

“What?” Tina asked, pulling Aria away from the hug.

“I said I didn’t mean to yell,” Aria said.

“But you did mean to say what you said?” Tina countered. Aria looked sheepishly at the floor, and Tina smiled again.