Everything Carries Me to You (Axton and Leander Book 3) (24 page)

"See?" Axton said. "Isn't that just?"

"You don't care about just," Jack said in a low voice, anger smoldering under his words. "You just care about making this work for you and getting what you want."

"And what do I want?" Axton challenged immediately, staring Jack down hard. "What is it that I even get out of this? You think I want to be in charge? You think I want the power? I don't. Not even remotely. Do you doubt that?"

"Ain't about power for you," Jack said. "But it ain't about justice, neither."

"I think it'd be just," Dana interrupted. "I think it would be just as
hell
to prove that Dru killed Daddy and then rip out his throat under a full moon."

Jack and Axton didn't look away from each other.

"Just," Axton echoed. "Of course it is. Don't you want to rule, Dana? Of course you do."

"Yeah," Dana said, pushing himself up. "Yeah, of course. God, sugar. I'm game. Tell me when and where--"

"You're using him," Jack said, still locking eyes with Axton.

"I'm being completely sincere," Axton said. "I want Dana to be the alpha. Don't you want Dana to be the alpha?"

Axton could feel Dana puff up with pride.

"Yeah, Jack," Dana said. "What, you want a slice of the power? I'll give it to you if you ask."

Jack snorted, and that made him break gazes with Axton, so he could give Dana an incredulous look.

"Giving out shit you don't have yet," he said. "Look at you."

"What, you doubt me?" Dana said, struggling to rise up further. "You--"

Axton shoved Dana back down onto the bed, still looking at Jack the whole while.

"So we agree," he said quickly, "that we'll prove the murder first and then challenge."

"Yeah, that would be best for Ma," Dana said.

Jack's mouth was a thin hard line.

"Outplayed," he said.

"Am I?" Axton asked.

"I am," Jack said. "Fine. Sure. We get proof of the murder,
then
we challenge."

"You did say you wanted to at least plan to do something," Axton said. "So there you go."

"I'll remember this," Dana said. "That in my time of need, both of you stood by me and--"

"Yes, yes, all right," Jack said. "Axton. I'll walk you out."

"Of course," Axton said, rising.

"Leave me the--hand me the bottle, would you?" Dana asked.

Jack took it away before Axton could comply.

"Hey," Dana said. "Hey."

Axton shrugged.

"I wanted that," Dana said.

"We know," Jack said.

"You'll stay with him until sun down?" Axton asked quietly, glancing at Dana. He didn't actually want Dana to come to harm--at least, not yet.

"Sure. Wouldn't want him dead before the appointed hour, would I?" Jack asked, sharp as tacks, walking towards the door.

Axton followed.

They exited the cabin, walked a little further, stared into the woods for a while, silently.

"I see what you're doing," Jack said finally.

"And what's that?" Axton asked, voice all velvet deception, all counterfeit innocence.

"Dana's stupid about this," Jack said, "and you know how to rile him up. You'd get him extra angry and stupid and send him rampaging in the right direction."

"And what do I get out of that?" Axton asked.

Jack glanced back at the cabin, and lowered his voice even further.

"If Dana's dead, if Dru kills him, then he can't come after you if you run," he said.

"I think he has a decent chance of winning," Axton said. "It's not like I'm outright sending him to his death."

"You want him busy," Jack said. "Best case scenario, Dana wins, you run, and he can't afford to follow you."

"Is that such a bad plan?" Axton said. "Justice is still served, isn't it?"

"Don't talk to me about justice," Jack said. "Dru makes you
angry
. Just it didn't make you stupid this time, didn't make you challenge him out right. You'd maneuver indirectly and take him down to satisfy your own wounded pride. Don't you dare sully a word like justice with that."

Axton shrugged.

"All's fair in love and war," he said.

"Oh, and that justifies it?" Jack asked. "Didn't matter to you none about Dana breaking your man's legs for love of you. It ain't fair."

"Ain't fair," Axton agreed, unconsciously mimicking the cadence that Jack and Dana shared. "But it's not all bad, is it? If it all works out. Justice is served--regardless of my intent--and Dana's rightfully in charge, and you keep a promise to a friend that's passed on."

"And you run back to your lover," Jack said. "Either way it turns out."

"Love and war," Axton said. "War and love. Blood and love without the rhetoric."

"I'd sooner do this without the blood," Jack said.

"'They're all blood, you see,'" Axton quoted.

Jack sighed.

"You read that?"

"It was on your bookshelf," Axton said. "Look. I promise you that I'll do my best to
actually
prove the murder, to not goad Dana into attacking prematurely."

"Because it's in your own best interest?" Jack said, arching a grey eyebrow.

"Because it's right," Axton said. "But also, yeah. It
is
in my best interest to have Dana actually win."

Jack sighed.

"I guess that'll have to do," he said glumly. "I'll have to take your word for it."

"I'm stupidly honor bound," Axton said. "You know that."

"It would still break your oath to run," Jack said, "at the end of this plan."

"Maybe Dana will be so moved and grateful that he'll let me go," Axton said.

"You think so?" Jack asked.

"No," Axton said.

Jack sighed.

Axton shifted his weigh from foot to foot.

"Are you going to tell him?" he asked quietly. "Are you going to give me away?"

"What, and break Dana's heart?" Jack asked moodily. "I don't want that fucking responsibility."

"Thanks," Axton said.

"Ain't for
you
," Jack said, "but for your man, if he still wants you. For love."

"You believe in love?" Axton asked.

Jack scrubbed a hand over his face.

"
Yes
," he said, with sudden emotion, blinking his eyes. "I do. Now leave, child."

"I--" Axton started.

"
Now
," Jack said. "Please."

Grateful for the release, Axton left.

The flames jumped and danced with the urgency of a fairy tale ball that was three minutes from midnight. The croon of crickets and fellow night things pressed in loud and close, and under the smell of burning there was a whiff of the fragrant night flowers that only opened under the moon.

"It's summer, for fuck's sake," Axton said. "Why did you have to build another fucking fire?"

"I like fires," Dana said, scowling, as he came back from his cabin, holding a bottle. He was freshly showered and shirtless; all the blood was washed off and all his wounds were closed. Scars that would likely fade by dawn canvassed his torso, the long ones wrapping around him like ribbon. "Fires make me feel better."

Axton had run himself to near exhaustion during the day, frenzied and furious. As much as he resented Dana, he didn't want to take his feelings out on someone who was hurt. Dana would be back to normal soon enough, and then Axton could scream at him. Yes, Axton thought a little dreamily, soon. It would be good to get a fight out of his system.

"Fine," Axton said, because he was tired enough to be agreeable for the moment. "I promised Jack I'd stay through the night."

"So," Dana said, drawing it out heavily, "are you going to mother me half to death, like I been dealing with all day, or are you gonna let me drink?"

"Do whatever you want," Axton said. "Knock yourself out. Be the first werewolf to die of acute alcohol poisoning. Dream big."

"I used to be able to do it like you," Dana said. "When I was mad? Just go wolf, make it hurt less."

"Not less," Axton said.

"Different," Dana said, sitting down on a tree stump. "Different, then. It hurts different."

"Yeah," Axton said, voice tinged with longing. "Simpler. Cleaner."

"Easier," Dana said into the resulting silence.

"Yeah," Axton allowed.

"I can't no more," Dana said, pausing to take a huge swig out of the bottle. "Not here. Just makes me
angrier
. Like all I wanna do is go up there and rip his face off. Can't think of nothing else. 'Specially now."

"I just said 'cleaner,'" Axton pointed out, a smile ghosting over his lips. "You go wolf, it's all your rage with the stupid little nuances scrubbed off. Filial duty? Down the drain, along with whatever else keeps you in check. Of course you want to rip his face off. That
is
all the wolf in you wants."

"You too, huh?" Dana said.

"Sure," Axton said, stretching his legs out, sprawled in front of the fire and headless of how it made him sweat. "And that's just me. For you it's personal."

"Point is," Dana said, "All I can do is drink."

"You could probably shoot up some heroin," Axton said idly. "That should work, right? At least the first few times."

"Yeah, look at the boomin' heroin business up here in the sticks," Dana said, between drinks. "Sure."

"Meth," Axton suggested helpfully.

"Great idea," Dana said, quirking an eyebrow as he put his lips to the bottle. "Me as a tweaker."

Axton felt the possibility of a laugh bubble up in his throat, which puzzled him.

"We are not friends," he said, just to be clear.

"You sure care a lot about your not friends," Dana said, "to come out here and play nursemaid."

"We have a common enemy," Axton said. "We share an injustice. We have a history. That's not the same as being friends."

"Then what?" Dana asked. "What are we? What can we be? Why run to me when I'm hurt?"

"I thought you might be dead," Axton said slowly. "I didn't think it was likely, but...there was a possibility..."

"And you're worried about him killing me now," Dana said softly. "You don't want me dead. Could you be with me? If I won, if I took over the pack?"

"Not this speech again," Axton sighed. "You've given it to me a dozen times--I said no then. I'm still saying no. Running away or standing your ground here--it's all the same. No, Dana."

"Will you always say no?"

"Yes," Axton said, "I'll always say no."

"What if I didn't fight Dru? What if I ran away with you? What if I gave that up for you?"

"Still no. And you're being repetitive."

"Always no?"

"I'll need at least a hundred years to get over Leander," Axton said flatly. "And how you beat the shit out of him."

"I can wait," Dana said, and he sounded like he was joking when they both knew he was not.

"Would you do it to me again?" Axton asked, "if you knew how I felt? Would you inflict a hundred years of mourning on me just because I took a human lover?"

"I still don't get it," Dana said. "I don't get it. If you're serious? You gonna mourn that human for more than he would have
lived
?"

"I would mourn him five hundred years more, if I could live that long," Axton said.

Dana snorted.

"Poetry," was all he said.

The fire crackled. The crickets sung.

"Yeah," Axton breathed, finally. "But that doesn't make it not true."

"Dunno," Dana said. "It's like a human falling in love with--what, a dog? Something that don't live half as much. It's weird."

"It's weird if, like, a hundred year old wolf falls in love with a human high school student," Axton said. "That's creepy. Leander and I are basically the same age."

"And what about when he got old?" Dana asked. "What then?"

"Latin men age well," Axton said, a smiling lurking in his voice. "I think he'd look good. We used to joke about it--streaks of silver through his hair, at his temples. I'd look like his kept houseboy and he'd look like my sugar daddy."

"Did you joke about him dying before you?" Dana asked frankly.

"No," Axton said sharply. "We didn't talk about it. But if you're so fucking
aware
of the limits of the human lifespan, why didn't you cool your heels for a few decades and then scoop me up when I was a widow?"

"I guess that would have been smarter," Dana said, "feelings-wise, with you. But you two were gonna get caught, just carrying on like that, especially around there."

"I don't want to talk about it," Axton said.

"You never wanna talk about that part," Dana said.

"I don't care if you had reasons," Axton said. "If you really feared for my life, if you really loved me--you would have explained it to me. You would have helped us."

"Does it ever fucking occur to you," Dana said irritably, "that I had a lot of other shit going on, and I was under serious fucking time constraints?"

"Don't care," Axton said shortly.

"Have a fucking bottle," Dana said, pulling one out of the cooler he'd dragged outside when he made his fire, throwing it over to Axton, "and stop being a little bitch."

"That's great," Axton said moodily. "Let's both get drunk as fuck so that when Dru comes by to murder both of us at once, we're too wasted to fight back. Wonderful."

Dana flipped him off while guzzling more whiskey.

"Let him come," Dana said, when he came up for breath.

"Idiot," Axton said, but there was a glimmer of something else in his disgust, something that was almost affectionate.

"Idiot
for you
," Dana said, even if it didn't make sense.

"Why weren't you like this when we were together?" Axton asked suddenly. "You kept a pair of my jeans, you sentimental fuck. You took my rings to keep by your bed. You've been a closet romantic all this time? You can do the happy stupid cutesy shit, too? Where was all this when I could give a damn? Fuck you."

"You can't give a damn now, Ax?"

"No," Axton said flatly. "Too little, way too goddamn late."

"Think back, Ax, think back," Dana urged. "What was I like, way back when? When we were together?"

"Fucking boorish brutish motherfucker," Axton snapped. "Affectionless fucking monolith, except when we fucked. Fucking angry and distracted and..."