Everything Changes (18 page)

I let out another chuckle, motioning to
Addy
and Justin sitting in the hot tub down in the valley.
“We have a while.”

“Right.” He smiled again. “It’s not like Dusty
and I are total enemies or anything, just a lot of shit in the way. It started
back when I raced mostly in the Yamaha MX Classic. That’s how I first met
Dusty. He’s a couple years older than me, and of course I looked up to him. I
needed someone to look up to at that age. Dusty had everything I wanted in a
career.” Parker nodded. “I looked up to him a lot. At the time, I was just a
privateer hoping to catch the eye of a factory, and Dusty had a factory ride
with Suzuki. But I was racing Yamaha, and the Yamaha MX Classic had this
contingency program that you could earn YZ bucks. You could redeem them at the
local Yamaha dealers for parts, gear, and even bikes. For my family, that was
ideal. Back then, my dad spent
everything
he had to get Justin and me
new bikes which cost twenty-five hundred
each
at the time
. When you raced every week like we did, a brand new
bike was the only option, and that didn’t include all the aftermarket
modifications you needed to stay competitive. Not only do you have the bike
cost and maintenance, but you have entry fees, insurance…it’s endless.”

“So how did you manage to go pro then?”

“Well around the time the series was coming to an
end, I was winning almost every event for my class. Soon sponsors found me.
Bike apparel and parts companies who mostly wanted to slap their logo on my
front fender. They paid my way and made it easier on my parents. But still,
only the fastest kids got the big manufacture sponsors. So when I won the last
round in
Reche
Canyon, Yamaha called. I had a factory
ride for the following season for the 125cc
Lites
class. If I did good, I would eventually move up to 450s when I was old
enough.”

“What happened between you and Dusty then?”

Parker hung his head before speaking. “After my
dad died, I ran into Dusty in Delmont at Steel City Raceway. We raced on the
AMA Motocross 125cc Lite Series together in ninety-four which was how we ended
up together at round eleven. By then I was acting like a kid, a really angry
kid who had just lost his family.” He looked up at me. “After the race, Dusty
came up to me and got in my face about the race, something he’d never done
before. I don’t remember everything that was said or even what I did on the
track, but I know I wasn’t exactly racing clean. He pushed me and I reacted. I
ended up grabbing what was beside me and hit him across the face with it.”

“What was it?”

“The trophy I won that night.”

“Oh.”

“He wasn’t too upset about it, and we ended up
talking later, but the following week I lost my ride because of it.”

“Why do you hate him though?” Parker blinked when
I asked the question as if he was trying to remember. “I mean, you hit him.”

“I didn’t
hate
him until recently.” He
tipped his head slightly. “I found out that he’s the one that went to Lonnie
Gusto, Yamaha’s rep, and told him a bunch of bullshit about me. At the time,
Lonnie’s daughter, Anna, was dating Dusty, so my chances were slim of
convincing Lonnie that Dusty was lying. Dusty then told me the sponsor would
drop me soon because I didn’t win the last round.” Parker let out a sigh. “With
everything that happened with my dad, and then those final few races, I walked
away from it all. I never called Yamaha to explain myself or the AMA; I just
simply…walked away. Two weeks later, Yamaha pulled my sponsorship. That’s how I
ended up in Washington. Jack wanted us to get away and thought the terrain out
there would get me back to wanting to ride, or at least remember why I wanted
to still ride.”

“Do you remember now?”

He smiled. It was soft but it was still there.
“Now I do…having you here with me, yeah, I remember why.”

And then I sat there, and Parker sat there, in
total silence, thinking about what he just said. If someone had told me that I
would be with Parker O’Neil and he’d tell me I reminded him of why he loved to
ride, well, I wouldn’t have believed them. I would have laughed at them actually.

I couldn’t process it all at once. I had to just
sit there. I was so comfortable around him and that was weird for me.

“You and Dusty seemed friendly that first day.
What went wrong?”

Parker shrugged. “I didn’t like the way he looked
at you.” He gave a weak smile. “Like I said, you get me. You were the first
person that did without knowing anything about me. I liked that. But I didn’t
like the way Dusty looked at you. I looked up to him for years. He has the
looks and the career. He has everything I’ve ever wanted, and I thought maybe
he’d take you too.” The shyness in his voice was adorable. To think he thought
I would ever be interested in someone like Dusty was silly.

Snuggling into him, I said, “He never had the
chance.”

He smiled, the gesture touching the corners of
his eyes and summer kissed skin.

We were silent for a few moments, not touching,
just watching each other while I processed everything he’d just told me. Then I
asked, “Justin said Dusty said some things about your dad.”

“He did.” He nodded. “He said he killed himself
because of me and my racing.”

“Why would we he say that?”

Parker leaned back in the sand, pulling me down
with him. Relaxing into his embrace, his buttery tone soothed any apprehensions
I had about pushing him into talking when he didn’t want to.

“That’s just him. Like I said, Dusty just has to
be
that
much better. It’s his nature. We’re very different riders with
different styles of riding, but I won a lot. If he thought for one minute he
might be able to convince me to walk away, he would. Even though he raced
Suzuki and I raced Yamaha, we were still competing in the same series.” He let
out a dark chuckle before leaning back on his elbows in the sand. “Ah hell,
looks like he won after all. I gave up.” His eyes scanned my face and held my
gaze for a brief moment, as if memorizing me.

On the outside Parker may have given up, but I
saw that determination in his eyes. Part of him would never give up when it
came to proving himself.

CHAPTER
9

Rowan
Jensen

Pinning

This is a motion where the rider rolls the
throttle back for maximum acceleration.

July 5,
1997

Parker and I made our way back to the condo once
the lights were off and we were sure that
Addy
and
Justin were in bed. With it our last night there, Parker said he didn’t want
any interruptions. That scared me. I wasn’t sure what it’d be like with us in a
bed and not in the sand. What if the lights were on?

I had this fear that if he saw me completely
naked in the light of his room he wouldn’t like what he saw.

Parker sensed my nerves when we were inside his
room. The nightlight next to his bed was the only light on. I felt a little
more at ease with the dim light reflecting from the light gray walls.

“You know that we don’t have to do it if you
don’t want to.” He looked at me anxiously, the light catching his eyes and
illuminating the sea of color. “We can just sleep.”

There was no way I was sleeping. Not when my
tummy and mind were swimming in that sea.

He reached out his hand trying to comfort me. His
fingers grazed my own as he moved to sit on the edge of his bed, pulling me
between his legs so I stood in front of him.

My hands moved to his shoulders and his to the
back of my thighs.
 
He ran over the bare
flesh and then settled on my butt. His eyes were hooded and he blinked slowly.
“But I do want you again…
really bad
.”

Moving my hands to his hair, he spread my legs
further. He let out this low grunt when his hands squeezed my ass, and then he
pushed himself back on the bed and our lips crashed together. My insides were
feeling like they always did with Parker near me, warm and filled with want.

Straddling him, the natural reaction for both of
us was to create more friction, so I moved against his erection. His eyes were
soft and leveling when I caught a glimpse as I moved on top of him.

His shaking hands moved to my tank top and
helping me take it off. Once it was discarded, our kissing took on a whole new
level as he rolled us over, and I found myself on my back.
 
I felt him between my legs as he rocked
forward creating that friction that felt so good. Neither one of us spoke in
words but in touches instead, exploring and learning.

I felt creepy about doing it but I opened my eyes
while he kissed me.
 
I wanted to know if
his were closed too. They were but then I got lost in watching the way his brow
furrowed and the pure want spread across his face as our tongues met and our
breathing mixed.

His hands slid behind my back, and after a few
minutes when I was about ready to rip his clothes off, I wondered what the hell
he was doing. I think he sensed this and dropped his head to my shoulder. “I
can’t get your bra off.”

I giggled against his lips. “Let me help.”
Steadying himself on his elbows, he pulled back slightly to allow me access so
I could remove the offending bra.

He seemed impressed that I could get it off that
quickly, his eyes curiously examining me.

Feeling naked, since I was damn near naked, my
hands moved from around his neck to his shirt. Leaning back, he brought himself
to his knees before yanking his shirt over his head and then he was pressed
between my legs again, rocking against me.

When we were both finally naked, neither of us
moved very much. His elbows, that were on either side of my head, supported
most of his weight as we kissed. I could feel him against my thigh, but he
hadn’t pushed forward. Maybe he was scared.

“Shit, the condom,” he said and pulled back to
reach for the condom on the nightstand. He fumbled with it, dropped it on the
ground, and then had to look for it under the bed.

I couldn’t help but laugh and when he returned,
and he glared at me. “Shut up.”

I laughed again at the cute furrow to his
concentrated but shy gaze on my breasts. Suddenly I was shy again and I think
he knew.

He smiled, sweet and assuring, as his chest
covered mine. “No laughing at me,” he said as his breath expelled and his body
came to rest against mine.

My head jerked to the side when he did that, my
hair tangled in his hand. “
Ow
!”

“Fuck, sorry.” He went to untangle his arm only
to pull more. “Jesus, this isn’t working out so well.”

“It’s okay.” I was trying to reassure the both of
us. Trying to free our arms to release my hair, my knee raised and then he was
groaning.

“Oh fuck!” He collapsed against me, giving me his
full weight and pulling my hair again.

Yeah, I nudged him in his manhood. And not just
any nudge, it was more of a kick.

“I am
soooo
sorry,
Parker.” Kissing his head as he remained buried in my shoulder, his body
hunched over as he tried to breathe through his pain. With our bodies on fire,
I could feel both our hearts pounding against our chests. When I got
lightheaded, I had to remind myself to breathe.
 
My brain wasn’t working; I was too nervous.

After composing himself with a few more deep
breaths, his hands made their way back to my face. I could feel his body
shaking, but so was mine. Maybe it was me shaking him.

“If...” He swallowed thickly, and I knew he was
nervous again. I kept my legs still just in case my shaking got the best of me.
“If I do something that hurts you…” Even his voice was shaking.

“You won’t…” I whispered. When my eyes found his,
I saw the hunger there, and his nervous smile made chuckle. “Well aside from
pulling my hair.”

With soft laughter, he trailed kisses from my
collarbone, up my hairline, and stopped to look me in the eyes. “Okay, just
keep your knees away from my junk.”

“Got it.” And if things couldn’t get any more
uncomfortable, the CD he had playing switched to a Madonna song I recognized as
Like A Virgin
.

Parker cringed at the slow song. “Would you
believe me if I said it was Justin’s?”

“No, probably not.” I couldn’t help but laugh
when the song progressed and it fit our situation a little too much. Well, I
wasn’t a virgin anymore, but it was still entertaining.

“I’m pretty sure this is the most awkward experience
ever.” He reached over and knocked the CD player to the ground, and the music
cut off.

“It could be worse.” I tried to reason and then
pulled his lips back to mine.

“I’m sure it could…” His hands found my face
again, his thumbs brushing against my cheek, and suddenly it wasn’t as awkward.
“I don’t know what I’m doing so tell me if you don’t like something.”

“You’re doing fine.” I breathed out trying my
best to hide my shaking. “You act as though I know what I’m doing.” My legs had
been shaking so bad my thighs were starting to burn.