Everything I Do: a Robin Hood romance (Rosa Fitzwalter Book 1) (13 page)

With that, she was left alone in the darkness again, her thoughts all tangled and her cheek and neck slowly turning to an ugly purple hue where his brutal touch still lingered painfully.

It turned out that Sir Hugh was indeed nowhere to be found the next day, and although Rosa could scarcely credit it, she had to accept that the goodbye he had bid her after their fight had been final on his part. She anticipated more shouts and threats from the Sheriff, but was surprised to find a suspicious silence reigning all over the castle. She was even more surprised to find out that the reason for this calm was that her father had been closeted in his rooms since sunup apparently, with none other than the lady Eloise Cecil, the blond gentlewoman with the steely gaze, who had been after Hugh at the banquet not many days since.

They emerged after many hours and the Sheriff sought his daughter immediately, ordering in no uncertain terms that she was to visit his cousin who resided in the neighboring county, not many miles to the north.

Now this was rather sudden and quite unheard of -to set off on such a visit unplanned and unprepared, but she didn’t want to provoke her father further and, no matter how strange and unnatural she found his request, she realized he must want her out of the way to get on with his schemes unhindered.

So she went upstairs to get dressed with half a heart.

She put on one of her more expensive garments and tried to conceal the ugly marks on her neck and below her left eye with powder, but they were too fresh and prominent for that. Helena bustled about her, having sensed the urgency of the Sheriff’s orders and not wanting to cause his displeasure, especially since he was apparently waiting in the courtyard to escort his daughter to the carriage himself, as if he wanted to make sure that she would board it.

It was barely ten o’ clock in the morning when Rosa was ushered into the golden and light-blue upholstering of the crest-bearing carriage, with no maid to accompany and chaperone her, which she also found strange.

She was too wary of her father’s unyielding expression to remark on it, though. She hurried to get inside and away from him, barely noticing as she went in that the groom that was sitting at the front was a rather obscure personage in the service of the castle and not her usual groom, whom she knew quite well.

Anyway, she settled in and gave a sigh of relief as soon as she saw the gates of the castle falling into the background. Thus she sat for a few minutes and pressed a cool finger to the tender spot beneath her eye, wincing in pain as she did so.

They had not even left the village behind them, however, when she was suddenly thrown to the other side of her seat by a very sudden and inexpert movement of the carriage. She struggled to gain her balance while the vehicle seemed to dance about on the road in a strange circle around itself. When things had quieted down a bit and the horses seemed to have gained their pace anew, she opened the window to speak to the driver. What she saw puzzled her even more. They had turned around and were galloping at quite a pace in the exact opposite direction. Soon enough, it became apparent that they were heading towards Sherwood Forest.

  Rosa tried to shout her questions to the groom, but he seemed not to hear her. She gave up and sat as far back on the cushions as she could, praying with all her might that they would pass unnoticed by the band of outlaws. She could hardly think why the driver, obviously obeying her father’s orders, had taken this course or where she was being taken, but one thing she knew for sure: the green-clad robbers were not likely to pass on the opportunity of stopping an opulent carriage, bearing the crest of the Sheriff. Was this then where her charade would end?

Once more she remembered the good Friar’s words and tried to call on the Almighty, but she checked herself as soon as she remembered that she was the liar here, she was the deceiver, and she had no right to ask for divine assistance.

The trees thickened all around them and the horses dropped their pace, as if provoking someone to discover them.

And then it happened.

“Halt good friend and let us greet your master!” a deep, beloved voice boomed merely a few paces ahead.

His voice sounded so cheerful to Rosa’s ears, so confident as it tilted with slight irony at the end of the phrase. It was so familiar that it made her heart ache. The horses stumbled to a stop and she closed her eyes, her stomach sick with dread.
This is what fear tastes like
, she thought abstractedly, realizing in the back of her mind that she had never truly felt it until this minute. The door next to her was flung open and she opened her eyes to meet the shocked face of Matt.

He froze, his hand stilled in mid-air as he stared at her, his boyish expression of puzzlement slowly turning into fear. Rosa opened her lips, but she really didn’t know what to say.     

“What’s keeping you, Matt?” she heard Robin’s voice asking pleasantly. “Don’t tell me our good Sheriff has stowed a ghost back there?”

Matt’s hand fell from the door, and without a word he backed away form the carriage. Rosa knew that the time had come. She got up and jumped to the ground. As soon as she gained her balance, her eyes met Robin’s. He was standing there, tall, his green hood lowered over his brow, his longbow raised in readiness to the groom’s head. But as he saw her, a change came over him. A hand flew to uncover his face and as his hood fell from it, Rosa caught her breath at the intensity in his back eyes. It seemed to her he had never looked so handsome, so strong. And so much like a stranger.

He seemed to study her face, her clothes, to try to take it all in. Then, with a look of utter helplessness, he lowered his weapon.

“It seems we have made a mistake,” Robin said as soon as he found his voice and the sound of it was strange even to his own ears, as if it was coming from far away, or from another man altogether.

Once more he looked her over. For a minute all he could think was how enchanting she looked in red. How the color of her velvet bodice made her lips look richer and more enticing than ever before. How her eyes shone with excitement. Or was it tears? There was no reason for that; surely she knew he would never dream of harming her.

How strongly her long lashes contrasted against her white skin! She was too pale, was it because she cared? No, that was not possible. Then his heart stopped, for he noticed the marks on her cheek. Instinctively, he reached out a hand to touch the painful bruise, to caress, to soothe, to heal.

“You’re hurt!” he exclaimed, all other thoughts momentarily flying form his mind. And her throat too! Who had dared to touch her velvet skin, to mar it with this ugly blue?

His hands clenched his sword in anger, his eyes searching frantically the inside of the carriage for her assailant.  But she was oblivious to her injury, it seemed. She just stood there, looking at him, her expression full of surprise and pain and something else, something he could not identify. He drew himself together.

“Forgive us, my lady,” he said, stooping low, bowing to her as though he was one with the ridiculous crowd of castle folk he had seen yesterday at the festival. He tried, in vain, to steady his voice. “It seems we have made a most unfortunate mistake. We will leave you to continue your journey in peace.”

He signaled to Matt, whose jaw had dropped far below what was normal, that they were to make their escape.

Suddenly he grew wary and searched the bushes around him with one suspicious glance. It was more than possible that she was closely followed by the Sheriff’s guards. Anger erupted within him, but even as it did, he knew he had only himself to blame. The girl had forced her way into his forest, into his camp and into his heart. But it was his fault that he had trusted her. Long ago he had vowed to himself never to trust anyone ever again. And it
had
felt so good being able to trust someone after all this time. But now he would pay for it.

He would only fight so that not everyone else would pay also. And pay they would, if he didn’t do something quick; pay with their lives. He turned to go, but was detained by a slender hand on his arm.

He whirled around to face her and almost took her in his arms, so sad did she look, so vulnerable. But he checked himself in time, reminding himself that it was all part of her act. Her hand was still on his arm, trembling like an autumn leaf and he realized that her whole body shook too.

“Please listen to me, master,” she said, he voice wavering pitifully.

Gently, for he could not bring himself to use force on her, but determinedly, he shook her off. She seemed about to fall without his support, but he tried to harden his heart, and clenched his fist at his side, forbidding himself to touch her.

“There is nothing to say, my lady,” he said, “except perhaps if I were to once more offer you my profuse apologies. We were under a false impression, it seems. Forgive us, pray.”

“No! Don’t leave, please, you must know that I would never betray you, master, you must know that everything I have ever told you was the truth!” her tears  were threatening to spill over and she stretched out her arms pleadingly towards him.

Robin wondered absently why there were no soldiers coming yet and why the driver did not turn on them, since no one was covering him anymore. But he couldn’t think of anything with clarity, except for the girl who was begging him to believe her.

“Indeed, m’ lady, pray do not be distressed. All there ever was between us to be said has been said this very day by the testimony of the crest on your carriage. Do you deny it?” he raised his brow questioningly, waiting to see what she would say.

“No, no I do not, but confess, dear master, you would never be able to trust me, to let me help you if you knew I was the Sheriff’s daughter, would you?”

She looked expectantly up to him, her eyes hopeful, but he was at a loss for words. Reeling between the shock of being called ‘dear master’ and learning that she was his very enemy’s daughter all in one breath, he reached out a hand to a nearby tree for support. He leaned against it, closing his eyes in pain, and hoping to awake from this nightmarish dream.

In a moment, however, her soft voice brought him back to the harsh reality.

“I was ever faithful to you, master Robin, and will ever be. In your heart you know it, I’m sure.” She turned to Matt. “And you too, Matt. I do not myself understand the circumstances that brought me here today, but I assure you nothing is changed. My loyalties are with the rightful King of England, and with you. I should have told you the truth, I see that now, only I didn’t want to lose... All I wanted was to offer you an ally from within. All I wanted was to help your cause.”

Robin sank down at the root of the tree, in defeat, but Rosa went on, not daring to approach him, but not wanting to leave him alone with his doubts either.

“Can you deny it, good Robin, that everything I’ve ever told you, every piece of information I have brought over from the castle has been true? Have I ever caused you to go astray or led you to a trap?”

He seemed to be looking away in the distance, but she knew he was listening to her. He must believe her, he must. That was all she could think of.

“Persuade me,” he said after a short silence. His voice was quiet, weak, for he had lost all hope, but he so desperately wanted to believe her.

“What?”

“I said, persuade me. Tell me why I should believe you. Show me a reason, a fact, anything I will not be able to doubt, and I will believe you were true.”

Rosa studied him; the way his dark hair fell in disarray over his brow, his sudden pallor, the strong hands clenching and unclenching in agony.

And then she knew. She knew what she must do.

She drew herself up and summoning up the last of her courage she spoke as calmly as she could.

“What would be the use?” she said. “I have broken bread with you, I have faced danger at your side, I have cried with you, I have ridden alone to you through this forest. And still you will not believe me. Even if I had this fact that you ask of me, I would not want to be believed for that, but for my own sake. I know you have had to be very careful and to mistrust many who have wished you harm over the years. And I know I have lied to you and for this I am sorry. But if you cannot trust your own heart, then what hope is there? For you, for me, or for your men? Or for this land, indeed…” with this, she turned to go, letting the tears flow unhindered on her cheeks.

As she walked blindly back to the carriage, she stumbled. She would have fallen, too, for she did not care enough to pull herself up, but Robin leapt to his feet as soon as he saw that she had difficulty walking straight and he had caught her before he realized what a mistake that was. For now he didn’t want to let her go, ever.

He held her tightly to him for an instant, his finger brushing away her tears before he could stop himself.

“I need to believe you so badly, Rose,” he whispered hoarsely, his eyes boring into hers. “Please.”

“I need you to believe me, too,” she said simply, tears still flowing.

“Do not cry so, I can’t bear it,” he said and his voice broke.