Everything to Nothing (40 page)

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Sarah’s mother
waited all that day and evening for her daughter to return with the
alcohol that she desperately needed. Late that night she had still
not returned so she wandered through the house looking in all the
places she had stashed alcohol in the past. All were dry.

As she
continued to wander through the house she appeared to get more and
more confused, checking places that she had already checked and
doing this numerous times. After a few hours of this aimless
wandering she returned to the living room and slumped into a
chair.

Sarah’s mother,
for the last year, had consumed vast amounts of strong alcohol and
had not been without a drink to hand throughout this year. It had
now been eight hours since her last drink and she had started to
get withdrawal symptoms.

After settling
into the chair she fell into a deep sleep that persisted throughout
the night and into the morning. When she did awake it was early
morning and the sun was casting its light through a gap in the
curtains and was shining on the wall. As she focused on the light
it seemed to shake in front of her. She noticed that she had a
strong headache and looking at the light did not help. Unable to
help herself though, she glanced at the light again and it shook
again. Now she stared at it, confused and disorientated, and the
light seemed to leap out towards her. She threw herself backwards
as the light turned into a ball and raced towards her face, turning
into a bat as it landed on her face. Springing out of the chair she
ran off into the kitchen screaming, scratching at her face and
drawing blood with her nails down her cheeks. Then, as if nothing
had happened, she returned to the chair and stared into the space
where the television used to be.

As soon as she
had settled down she shouted, ‘Bat!’ in a loud voice and ran back
to the kitchen door and slammed it shut. She then proceeded to lift
every cushion up in the living room and as she lifted each one she
screamed, ‘Bat!’

When every
cushion had been lifted she again returned to the chair, but her
whole body was now trembling so badly as she lowered herself into
the chair she misjudged her descent and she landed on the arm of
the chair which overbalanced sending her sprawling on the
floor.

Lying on the
floor she stared at the ceiling focusing again on another ray of
light which hurt her eyes as she looked at it. So she closed her
eyes, yet when she opened them the light had broken into numerous
bright objects and these were crawling around on the ceiling. One
by one she watched as they dropped and landed on her face. She
could feel her heart beating, hammering away in her chest as she
experienced palpitations. Screaming and screaming she spent the
next five minutes beating her body as she felt the creatures
crawling on her skin, her heart beating rapidly. Soon she was sure
she had managed to squash the creatures made out of light and she
could not feel anymore on her body but the exertion of beating them
off her had left her sweating and her heart was racing then
suddenly she started to experience pain in her stomach and
chest.

Sarah’s mother
managed to push herself into a sitting position and drag her
alcohol ravaged body to the chair. As she sat there her body
started to shake and she started to experience body tremors and
these incessant tremors made her feel nauseous. At one point she
was sure she was going to be sick so she ran for the bathroom but
she could not remember where it was. She ran around the house
throwing open doors until she managed to find it where she knelt at
the toilet and started to violently retch. Having not eaten
anything for days, all she did do was retch and she did this so
violently her body was placed under immense strain that it could
not deal with and it triggered a seizure.

One moment she
was knelt on the floor, the next moment her whole body was lay on
the floor and was violently shaking. Her head thrashed some side to
side as did her arms and legs. Then as quickly as it had started
her whole body went rigid for a few moments and from the corner of
her mouth a trickle of blood appeared. Then, as quickly as it had
stopped, is started again, going quickly from periods of muscle
contraction to periods of rigidity. After a few more moments of
this her whole body relaxed and she lay on the floor breathing
heavily, eventually sinking into a restless sleep.

She awoke a few
hours later and the first thing she noticed was that her tongue
appeared to be in some pain, and on further analysis she discovered
her whole body was aching. She had no recollection as to why or how
she was on the bathroom floor or why her whole body appeared to be
aching, but she decided that being on the bathroom floor was not
the best place to be so she tried to stand. Using the toilet she
managed to drag herself into a sitting position but even this
simple manoeuvre was difficult.

Her whole body
felt very weak and it was some time before she could regain her
breath to achieve a kneeling position. Then, with the help of the
cistern and sink she pulled herself up onto her feet where she
steadied herself before walking to the top of the stairs. Even
though she had checked the cupboard numerous times, she still
thought that she had a small bottle of something or other in the
cupboard under the stairs so she decided she would investigate
it.

Resting for few
moments at the top of the stairs, she then took a step down and
instantly her weakened leg collapsed from underneath her. As her
body started to fall she desperately clawed at the hand rail, her
fingers scrambling for purchase but missing every time. Gravity
then took hold and she fell head first towards the middle of the
stairway. Her foot got trapped in the balustrade as she fell and
her leg twisted, dislocating her ankle and as the pressure on her
leg increased, her lower leg, to be precise her tibia, cleanly
snapped in two.

The pain hit
her instantly and she screamed but then her screams were snuffed
out as she landed head first on a step knocking her unconscious.
Her neck could not support the weight of her body and it also
snapped cleanly in two killing her instantly. She bounced down the
rest of the stairs coming to rest at the bottom of them, her
twisted head hanging loosely against her shoulder, her eyes staring
sightlessly into the space where the television used to be. It was
in this twisted, macabre position where Sarah found her the next
day.

Chapter 31

Sarah crawled
out of the pipe early that morning leaving behind the empty
syringes. She had hardly slept due to the scurrying of the rats
further along the pipes, and she looked and smelled terrible. The
previous day she had emptied her mother’s bank account taking it to
its overdraft limit. The same night she had gone into the red light
district and spent most of the money on heroin. Now, with her
clothes dirty and body filthy, she casually strolled into the
shopping area of the town hoping to steal some toiletries so she
could go home and clean up.

When she
entered a department store a security guard looked at her with
total disdain. He was going to stop her entering the store but as
he approached her he noticed that she stank and he did not want to
get any closer than he had to. She walked past him and smiled at
him showing that she had lost one of her canine teeth. This had
fallen out only yesterday due to severe decaying of the tooth and
gum. Instead, the security guard spoke into his radio and informed
the security centre of his concerns about this customer to which
they replied they would keep an eye on the thieving bitch.

Sarah headed
straight for the Estee Lauder counter and waited until their
representative was deeply involved with another customer. When this
occurred, Sarah quickly grabbed a handful of cleaning products and
stuffed them into her coat pockets. Unknowing to her, there was a
camera watching her. The security centre quickly sent a message to
the same guard and he thundered across the store towards the Lauder
counter. ‘You! Stop! Thief!’

‘Shit!’

She ran off in
opposite direction from the charging guard, daring a quick glance
over her shoulder. This quick glance cost her as she was tackled to
the floor by a burly guard.

‘Get your hands
off me! How dare you treat me like this!’ Sarah was thrashing
around on the floor, kicking and punching the guard. ‘Get the fuck
off me!’

‘I am! I am!
Bloody hell you stink!’ He helped her to her feet to which she
responded by kicking him in the knee.

‘Bastard!’

She tried to
run past him as his knee collapsed from under him but by now the
original guard had arrived and he wrapped his arms around her.

‘Get off me!
Get the fuck off me!’ And to this plea she added an ear piercing
scream. By now a crowd was gathering and the guard received a
message in his ear.

‘Get the
products and get her out of here before she scares off all the
customers!’ He reached into her pockets and threw the products to
the other guard who had recovered sufficiently to hobble over to
his colleague.

‘Help me get
her to the exit.’

‘Are we not
getting her arrested?’

‘Apparently
not. They want her out and quick about it.’

‘Okay.
Whatever. Their choice’

Once the
products were recovered they each took an arm and pulled the still
kicking and screaming Sarah to the exit. The automatic doors slid
open and they threw Sarah into the street.

‘You’re barred,
for life!’

‘I’m going to
sue the arse off you two for treating me like this!’ Sarah then
made a move to enter the store again but was firmly pushed away by
the guards. ‘You fucking bastards, I’m going to take you to
court!’

She tried one
more time to burst into the store but again she was repelled by the
guards. This time though she lost her footing and she was sent
sprawling onto the floor. By the time she stood up the guards had
entered the store again and were beckoning her to move away. Sarah
raised her middle finger to them and then spun away to be greeted
by Michelle looking at her with a look of surprise and shock on her
face. Michelle also appeared to be holding hands with a gorgeous
guy who she knew from college but could not quite put a name to the
face.

‘Oh, hi
Michelle! Been a while!’

‘Yes, it has
Sarah. You okay? What on Earth was all that about?’

‘Slight
misunderstanding, but needless to say I was right and they were so
in the wrong!’ She flashed a smile at Simon who noticed the missing
tooth and the blackness of her other decaying teeth. ‘Are you not
going to introduce me to this hottie?’

‘Well, you know
him from college. Well you should anyway. This is Simon.’ Simon
nodded and seemed to be about to offer his hand but then quickly
decided against it.

‘I’ve seen him
about. I was planning to try and shag him, but I guess that is out
of the question now?’ She finished the sentence, which was
definitely a question, and gave a quick wink at Simon.

Michelle
decided to tactfully ignore Sarah’s suggestive attitude. ‘Where
have you been? You’ve not been in college; you’ve not been in work.
I tried to call you a few times but there was no answer. I tried
you at work but they said they had not heard from you in months and
had in fact fired you!’

‘Must have
missed the letter telling me about that. Well, let’s just say my
life is a little different now.’

‘Well clearly.
You look terrible.’

‘That’s what
I’ve always like about you Michelle, your tact.’

‘Do you want to
go for a coffee and talk about it? The last time I saw you,’
Michelle had to pause for a moment while she thought about it, ‘was
the night me and Simon, well, I saw you leave with Peter
Johnson.’

‘Yeah, don’t I
remember that all too well. I think I’ll pass on the coffee
Michelle, but thanks for the offer. I don’t suppose you could lend
me some money could you? Fifty pounds would see me through for a
few days. I’ll be able to buy some stuff and maybe stop myself
looking so terrible.’

‘Well, I
suppose I could lend you something.’ Michelle was starting to get
her purse out of her bag when Simon grabbed her arm and pulled her
away.

‘Are you out of
your mind?! You’re going to give fifty pounds to that druggie?’

‘Druggie? How
do you know that? Look, she’s probably just going through a rough
patch…’

‘Michelle,
she’s always been going through a rough patch. She’s had more guys
in this town than I care to think about. I know at least two guys
who caught an S.T.D. off her…..’

‘Well more fool
them for not using protection. Look, it’s my money.’ She shrugged
off his hand and walked the few steps back to Sarah. ‘Here you go.
Not quite fifty but I hope it helps.’

‘It all helps.
I should be able to get some good H, I mean soap with this.’ She
laughed and took hold of the money but Michelle retained her grip
of it.

She looked into
Sarah’s eyes, staring into them. ‘H? I presume means heroin?’

‘Michelle,
really, this is a bad…’

‘Stay out of
this Simon. H is?’

‘Is a new kind
of soap powder.’

‘I’m sure.
Please Sarah, don’t use this on drugs.’

‘Okay, I
won’t.’ She snatched the cash out of Michelle’s hand. ‘Well
Michelle, guess I’ll be seeing you. You’re lucky Michelle, always
have been. Rich, supportive parents; you’ve never wanted for
anything. You should try growing up in a council house with an
alcoholic mother and a father who beats his wife and his daughter,
who raped his wife and his daughter. I lost my virginity at the
ripe old age of eight years old and was raped and sodomised near
enough every night until I was ten, until he grew bored of me
because I was too old for him. But now look at you! You’re
practically glowing you’re so in love with your handsome boyfriend.
I think you’ve even lost weight off your porky thighs and bum.’