Everything Unexpected (9 page)

He’s right. I know he’s right. I hate that he’s right.

I
am
the one making everything weird by not answering his calls or texts. And I’m such a hypocrite for it. After making
him
promise
me
nothing would change, here I am hiding from him. I’m just not sure of what to say. How will it be seeing him? Will we be able to act like nothing happened? Is that even possible now that I’ve been spread out in front of him naked? Now that I’ve seen
him
naked? I mean, we had sex.
Great
sex. Which almost makes it worse. Maybe if it had been awful, it wouldn’t be so weird seeing him. It could be something we laugh at a few minutes and then forget. But sex with Shane is nothing to laugh at, and I don’t think I can forget about it.

A knock at my office door interrupts my thoughts. Holly pokes her head in, her lips curling into a small smile. She comes in uninvited like she usually does and sits in the chair directly in front of my desk.

“You didn’t answer my calls yesterday,” she says. “Was the hangover that bad? Eddy couldn’t even get out of bed.” She laughs.

The answer to her question is more complicated than she could imagine.

“Pretty fun night though,” she adds.

I almost groan. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone yesterday. Once I got home, I peeled off my clothes and jumped in the shower. I wish I could say the hot water helped wash away all the confusion I had about that night but every time my hands ran over certain spots of my body, it only reminded me of it more. I put on my bathrobe, hopped into bed and did nothing but stream
Friends
all day. I let all my calls and texts go unanswered.

“I guess those shots hit me harder than I thought they would,” I say, trying to smile but I’m certain it looks more awkward and strained than anything else.

“Hope you’re feeling better for tonight. Nothing big. No drinking, that’s for sure,” Holly says.

“Tonight? What’s happening tonight?”

Holly gives me a funny look. “Shane’s leaving tomorrow,” she says slowly.

Fuck.

I completely forgot that Shane is leaving for Australia tomorrow for a
National Geographic
shoot. It’s a trip he’s been looking forward to for over a month. He’ll be taking pictures of the outback. A story about the Ayers Rock, I remember him saying. He’ll be gone nearly two weeks. I feel a small stabbing jab in my heart at the thought of him being gone for so long without having talked to him first. But I can’t talk to him with everyone around, and I still have no idea what to say.

“I don’t know, Holls. I’m a little behind,” I point to all the folders on my desk. “I think I’ll have to stay late tonight.”

It’s a poor excuse, I know. Especially since I never miss a get together before Shane leaves for a trip.

“You remember that he’ll be gone for two weeks, right? You’ve never not been there before he leaves,” she says, shocked I would consider missing this.

“I know but my schedule can’t always revolve around Shane’s,” I say. I hear how defensive I sound and inwardly cringe.

Holly sits back in her chair, studying me. “What’s going on?”

She’s obviously heard it too.

“Nothing.”

Her eyes stay on me, clearly not believing me.

“No…something’s up. Spill,” she probes.

I’ve never kept one of my sexcapade stories secret from Holly. Especially when the sex was
that
good. But this time is different. Everything about it is so fucked up, I don’t even know where to begin. Maybe if I talk about it, things will become clearer and I’ll know how to handle Shane when I see him. Whenever that may be. I take a deep breath. “Something happened…with Shane.”

“What do you mean? Did you guys have a fight or something?” she asks.

I twirl a pen between my fingers a few times before I look back up at her. “No,” I say quietly. “Not exactly.”

“Then what? Everything seemed great Saturday night. We all had a great time, especially Shane. Last I saw, you guys were leaving the dance floor and I lost track of you going outside—”

She stops mid-sentence. A questioning yet astonished look appears quickly, like it was just slapped on her face. “Wait!” she begins, raising her hands. “Wait, wait… Did you… Did you guys…?”

I turn my head, looking away and swallowing hard. After a few seconds of silence, Holly’s burst of laughter jerks my attention back in her direction. “Why are you laughing?” I ask, annoyed.

“Oh my God,” she says between small bursts. “I should be so pissed that you’re only telling me this now.” She folds her arms across her chest. “So, you two did it. It actually happened. Happy Birthday, Shane,” she teases.

I press my lips together and continue to roll my pen between my fingers.

“So? What does this mean?” she asks anxiously.

I shrug, barely making eye contact.

“Well, what did he say?”

I shrug again. “He hasn’t said anything.”

“I don’t understand. You’re not making sense.”

“I mean we haven’t spoken.”

Her eyes squint and her head jerks back in surprise. “You haven’t spoken since or you haven’t spoken about it yet?” she questions. Then her eyes flare open. “Oh God,” she gasps quietly. “Was it…
bad
?”

“What? NO!” I say a little too quickly. Bad is definitely not the word I’d use. Amazing. Orgasmic. Those are words I’d use. But I keep them to myself. “We just haven’t spoken.”

“At all? Not even after?”

I feel a flush of heat come up my neck, the temperature in my office seemingly veering towards tropical.

“I kind of left while he was still asleep,” I confess.

Holly’s face remains still for a few seconds before I watch her try and bite back laughter. “You snuck out?” A light chuckle escapes her lips.

I nod. “Bryan saw me do it too.”

Holly’s chuckle now turns into a full blown belly laugh. Tears form in her eyes.

“It’s not funny,” I state, almost angry.

“So what now? You’re just going to avoid him? That’s your plan?” Her laughter settles and she gives me a look telling me I’m being ridiculous. “Leah, the longer you let this go without talking to him—”

“I know, I know. I just don’t know what to say,” I tell her.

“So let him start,” she says, standing.

“Or maybe,” I begin, hope lacing through my voice, “he also doesn’t think we need to talk about it. Maybe he’s fine with just letting it be. Like nothing ever happened.”

Holly looks at me like I’ve just grown a second head. “Leah, you had sex with Shane. Shane! That changes
everything
.”

She shakes her head and walks out of my office, leaving me to let her words sink in. I fight the urge to throw my pen at her out of resentment because I fear she may be right.

I pick up my cell and reread Shane’s texts. All seven of them, over and over again. My fingers hover over the reply button but I don’t press it. Instead, I open my desk drawer, place my phone inside and try to ignore it for the rest of the day.

I DON’T GO to Eddy and Holly’s that night. I hate this feeling of being afraid to see the one person I’ve never shied away from. It hits me in the lowest depth of my stomach, making me feel nauseous. I try to forget about it by keeping myself busy and staying at the office until late into the evening. But staying back and working hasn’t stopped me from checking my phone relentlessly. I’ve received nothing more from Shane, but Holly texted asking if I was on my way yet. I swipe back to Shane’s last message.

That text stands out more than any of the others.

I start to pack up for the night, turning off my computer and putting my last few files away when I hear my phone chirp.

The guilt of knowing that if the situations were reversed and he were treating me this way, I’d be more than angry and resentful. I’d be…devastated. I don’t want to do that to him. I don’t want to do that to me. The thought of him leaving for two weeks and not seeing him before breaks my heart.

His reply is instant.

It takes me a full two minutes before I hit send to my next text.

Two seconds later…

THE CAB RIDE is spent going over every single scenario that could unfold. I try and prepare for any one of them. A practice I’m used to as a lawyer. Be prepared for anything and everything. Have my arguments ready, rebuttals planned, and examples handy. Only, how can I really be prepared for this?