Evidence of Things Not Seen (2 page)

Marshall couldn’t have planned Robert’s reaction any better. He was usually negative about spending money. As for Leann, he’d seen her counter Robert’s resistance before. Her hesitation about all things social seemed to evaporate when Robert dragged his cleats outside anything athletic. Pushing him moved her.

Marshall smiled. Not too big. Just a slight upturn on one side of his lips and then he grabbed the apple from his lunch tray and took a big bite, saying, “Cool,” as he chewed. Getting her to come out here after the prom might be a little more difficult.

At least it’s going to happen. When that Tommy kid disappeared a week ago, a few parents wanted to cancel it. But some PhD psychologist from Austin who came out to help with the search said it was important to keep life as normal as possible for everyone. Besides, Fred High’s tradition of having prom on the Saturday before Mother’s Day is pretty twisted. It’s not like anyone can stay out all night if you have to wish your mom a happy Mother’s Day the very next day.

Leann had never said anything about her mother. Marshall asked her once if she moved here with her family and the question made her look angry, as if a storm had blown into her light blue eyes. All she said was, “I live with my aunt.” Marshall knew enough not to ask another question. Ever since, he’s noticed she has these dark places that make her shut down. That’s why bringing her out here is so important.

Marshall opens his eyes and looks out at the night. Between now and when prom happens in two days, he’ll figure out how to get her here. Turning the key in the ignition, Marshall presses the gas until the engine chugs and turns over with a roar, silencing all the night sounds. He maneuvers the car through the cedars, across the pull-out and back onto US 281. Marshall wishes the car would go faster, as if its speed would get him to Saturday night more quickly. He wants everything to go perfectly. He’s wanted everything to go perfectly from the day Leann started Fredrick Johnson High last August.

Usually the first day of school is a parade of everyone trying to show off and make the best first impression. Not Leann Jordan. When she showed up in McCloud’s first period astronomy class, it seemed like she didn’t care how she looked. Her long, almost-black hair was, well, messy. And a little greasy. It sort of hung limp, close to her cheeks, nearly covering her eyes. McCloud assigned her the seat next to Marshall and he could see she was watching everyone from behind the dark strands.

When she said her name in class and where she came from—Midland—she didn’t offer up any more information. She didn’t giggle or smile or do anything that looked like she wanted a friend or that she wanted to be liked. Even her T-shirts were dark and baggy, like she was covering up her body. She looked like she wanted to fade into the background.

Marshall wondered if she didn’t want to be noticed on purpose. He wondered if she was scared. Or shy and quiet. Maybe she was waiting to see who she could trust. He watched her. He wanted her to trust him. Marshall wanted to protect her. He’d never felt like that about any girl. A week after school started, no more dirty or messy hair, but it hung in her face like she still was hiding. Two weeks later, she wore a light blue T-shirt. It almost hugged her waist.

Leann slumped in her seat. She shouldn’t have worn this shirt. It was too revealing. She felt like she had a neon sign pointing at her. Boys were going to notice her. Again. She fought the urge to jump up and leave Mr. McCloud’s class. If she went home and changed now, she’d really draw attention to herself. She stayed put. She kept her head down and tried to concentrate on what McCloud was saying. He was handing back their quizzes. When he stood in front of her desk, Leann glanced up and took the quiz from his hand. “100” was circled at the top of the page. She heard him say “Nice work.” Leann nodded but didn’t look in his eyes.

Then McCloud said “Nice work” again and Leann wondered if he was still talking to her. She looked up. He wasn’t. He was talking to the guy who sat next to her. She glanced to the right and saw “100” at the top of his quiz. She read the name next to the grade. Marshall Johnson. She didn’t want to look at his face but she was curious to see who else the aced the quiz. She glanced up. Long enough to notice that he wore rimless glasses and his eyes were hazel. Long enough to feel her cheeks prickle with heat. Then she looked away.

Marshall hoped the 100 would get her attention. He’d noticed she got perfect scores on every quiz so far. Someone who was smart might be curious about other people with good grades. When McCloud handed him the quiz with 100 circled at the top, it seemed like a sign. Marshall left it faceup on his desk. He felt her look at him but he kept staring ahead as if McCloud were imparting the secrets of the astronomic universe. Really, Marshall was counting how long she looked at him. One one thousand, Two one thousand, Three—

Almost three seconds. She’d noticed him.

After that, Marshall still kept to himself, but one time he looked at her as she sat down and she said “Hey.” He nodded at her. Marshall was careful to hold back. He didn’t want to scare her away. She seemed like she could be easily scared.

One day at the end of class, she said, “See you tomorrow.” After a while, she said “Hey” every morning. Once, she double-checked her homework assignment with what he wrote down.

In January, Marshall noticed she came into the cafeteria with Mary Louise. That was odd because Mary Louise usually ate in the art room. Painting was her life. She was the only person in the senior class going to an art school. It seemed like another sign. When Robert put his tray down across from Marshall, he said, “You mind if I invite Mary Louise over to eat with us?”

Robert looked over at the cafeteria line. “She’s sort of a wing nut.”

“Yeah, and you’re sort of a jock. So what?”

“Sure. Why not? It’ll be a change from listening to you talk about colleges.”

Marshall ignored Robert. He did talk a lot about where he might go to college. It seemed important, but at the same time, it didn’t. He was good at math and the counselor said that engineering would be a good fit, so he applied to colleges that had engineering programs. He’d been accepted at three and chose one. But he still wasn’t sure if he wanted to go. It was simpler for Robert. All he wanted to do was play football, so he took the best deal.

Marshall waved at Mary Louise as she was scanning the lunchroom for a seat. She smiled and tried to wave but nearly dropped her tray.

“Wing nut,” mumbled Robert.

Mary Louise leaned toward Leann and sort of pointed at Marshall and Robert. Marshall could see Leann hesitate. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for another possibility. But there weren’t any empty tables. She nodded and followed Mary Louise.

Marshall made sure to motion to the seat next to him when Mary Louise came up to the table. He didn’t want to spook Leann.

“Y’all know Leann?” Mary Louise said as she slid her tray next to Marshall’s. “We have gym together.”

Marshall nodded. “Yeah, we have astronomy together.” He motioned to Robert as Leann sat down. “This is Robert. Mostly a jock. Also a good friend.”

Leann smiled a little. Marshall wasn’t sure why but he had a feeling that she liked this strange crew. The jock. The artist. The engineer. And whoever Leann was. Marshall also had a feeling that because there were four of them together, it made Leann more comfortable. Like one on one, even with Mary Louise, would be too close.

Marshall didn’t mind. He liked that Mary Louise and Robert were there. It helped him blend in better. He could pretend to be eating while listening to them talk. Listening to Leann talk. Listening to how she feinted and dodged but never really opened up. She made it seem like she was there, a part of them, but Marshall sensed she was someplace else.

Leann takes out her mascara and rolls it on her eyelashes. She still can’t believe she’s going to prom. Eight months ago, she wondered if it were possible to live someplace and not know anyone the entire time you lived there. Maybe she could hold her breath for a whole school year and not talk to anyone. It turned out she couldn’t. Something happens. You forget your gym shorts and you have to borrow some. After that, Mary Louise—the girl with the extra shorts—says something to you every day. Something nice. Not very prying. You wonder about her paint-splotched fingers. She tells you more about herself. You find yourself liking not being alone. Pretty soon you go to lunch with her and then you’re sitting with two guys and presto you’re going to the prom. Maybe it’s the perfect thing to do to finish off this exile from her life back in Midland. A prom. A step toward normal. With friends. No romance. A sort of date with Marshall. A sort of date would be all right. With Marshall.

She still wasn’t sure about him. He looked like a dangerous combination of smart and sensitive. She liked smart because she hated dumb. But smart meant she had to be watchful. Smart meant someone could pull a fast one on her. Smart meant she wasn’t sure she could trust him.

Sensitive confused her. She thought he was sensitive. Maybe it was his eyes. Or those glasses. They made him look vulnerable. Breakable. Maybe it was the way he didn’t push himself at her. He couldn’t hurt her if he was sensitive. Could he?

It couldn’t hurt her to go to the prom with a pretend date. Could it?

Leann was never sure what would hurt. It was like her antenna mixed all the signals up when someone got close. She couldn’t figure out what they wanted. Or she did know what they wanted and it was wrong but they said they loved her so it couldn’t be wrong. But it was her uncle so it was wrong but he said he loved her so maybe it wasn’t. Then it was her cousin but he said he loved her so maybe it wasn’t but it was. It
was
wrong. Every time. But they said they loved her. They said so. Then her mother found out and said Leann was a “little tease, the kind of girl that gets boys in trouble.” She sent Leann away. “Go live with my sister. See if she can teach you to keep your hands to yourself.”

The night before she left, her cousin whispered at her door, “Wanna suck me off one more time?” Leann didn’t move. She wasn’t sure what she should do. She thought she should go to the door. He was always nice to her afterwards. She could hear him breathing. Then he kicked the door and said “Bitch.” Leann gripped the edge of her bed and held her breath. She felt guilty. Maybe she should have opened the door. Whenever he got angry, she felt like should have done something different.

When her aunt picked her up at the bus station in Fredericksburg, she didn’t ask what happened. She never pried. She let Leann be. After a month or so, Leann relaxed enough to take her first big breath of air. Then a second and a third.

Now it’s time for the prom and she is almost breathing like normal again.

When Marshall pulls up in front of Leann’s house, he has to remind himself this is pretend. It isn’t really a date. He can hardly believe that yesterday he convinced all of them that picking up their date was part of the ritual, even for pretend dates.

“How about we meet Mary Louise and Robert outside the dance in the parking lot and walk in together,” he’d said to Leann.

Leann didn’t like the idea. “This sounds more and more like a real prom date. I think we should all go together.”

Marshall shrugged. “Okay. Then I want to be the driver.”

“No way,” said Robert. “I want my own ride.”

“I get carsick if I ride in the back,” Mary Louise added.

“Okay, I get it,” said Leann. “No one wants to be the cute couple in the back seat.”

Marshall wouldn’t have minded playing the part of the cute couple, but driving all together would have made coming out to the pull-out at the end of the night more difficult.

Walking up to Leann’s door, Marshall composes himself. As soon as he knocks, an older woman answers. She has Leann’s long dark hair but it’s streaked with gray.

“My name is Marshall Johnson. I’m here to take Leann to the prom.”

“I’m Leann’s aunt. Jackie.” She reaches out and Marshall shakes her hand. It feels callused like a man’s. It’s strange to hold this hand and stare into a face that looks like an older version of Leann. Then Leann appears. Standing next to her aunt, it looks as if time had split their cells. Neither smiles. Both have that same wariness in their eyes. Except Leann is beautiful. Her blue dress is dusted with silver so that it looks as translucent as her eyes.

When Leann steps toward him, Marshall sucks in his breath and holds it. He almost exhales an audible “Ahhh,” but he doesn’t slip up. He holds it together as they walk to his car and he opens the door for her.

Leann sits straight up. Her back barely touches the passenger seat of Marshall’s car. She reaches for the door handle. She could run back inside. She could tell him she has food poisoning. She could fake stomach heaves. She could …

She holds on to the cold metal handle. Breathing. Holding on to the door handle calms her. If anything bad happens, she can open the door and fling herself out. Even if it’s moving. When Marshall sits down, she glances over at him. He doesn’t look any different, right? He hasn’t done anything wrong, right? It’s a fake date, right?

Marshall doesn’t know what to do. Leann looks a little ill. Should he notice? Should he say something? If he were a boyfriend, he’d say something. What would a fake date do?

“Oh, I got a corsage for you.” Marshall tries to sound as offhand as possible, pointing at the plastic box on the dashboard. “They’re gardenias. I wasn’t sure what color dress you would wear so I got a white flower. To go with anything.” Only they aren’t meant to go with anything. They are meant for her. He wants her to have those beautiful white flowers wrapped around her wrist all night. He wants her to remember him whenever she smells a gardenia.

Marshall watches Leann open the box and stare at the corsage. He can hear her take a short sip of air as if smelling the flowers might hurt her. Then it sounds like she stops breathing altogether. Marshall isn’t sure if he should start the car or not. She looks like she might puke. Marshall scrambles. “I hope you like it. It was weird bringing it. I got a little nervous. I worried if you would like it. This pretend stuff started to feel a little real, ya know?”