Evil Of Love (12 page)

Chapter Fourteen

The computer screen flashes on which automatically causes me to peer around the darkened room to verify no one’s watching me. After dinner and many glasses of wine Travis finally went to bed and didn’t request me to follow him. I stayed up reading a novel for an hour just to make sure he was sound asleep before I got on the computer. I instantly log into my email and already have an unread message from Eric. I hesitate to open it, but can’t resist. No matter how much I know it isn’t right I can’t hold myself back.

Steph,

Have I ever told you that you taste like sweet strawberries in the middle of July? Today was incredible. I can’t wait to see you again. I can’t wait to taste you again. Please, let me know when we can meet. Tomorrow? I can’t wait long.

Love,

Eric     

             
The words cause me to squirm in the leather computer chair, but I know I have to cut it off with him. I can’t keep this going without hurting Travis. I won’t be the tramp that everyone thinks I am. I won’t give them the benefit of being right. Before I can ponder over Eric’s lips and tongue and the way it moves along my delicate skin, I quickly type an email back.   

Eric,

We can’t see each other again. I’m married to Travis Barnes and I don’t want to hurt him. I won’t be able to see you and please don’t email me anymore. It’s best if we don’t talk.

I will always love you and you will always have my love but this is not the lifetime for us.

Steph

              I sigh as I hit send; hands shaking and tears already forming in the corners of my eyes. I hate that I have to say goodbye to him in an email, but I know that face to face I won’t be able to deny my feelings. I love him. I stare at the screen before me, a part of me hoping he’ll respond back and the other part of me knowing I need to turn away. Let’s just say the first part took control and within a few minutes the screen has a pop stating new message. Nervously I click on the email.

No. Please, please I’m begging you. Don’t do this Steph. Don’t let that bastard run your life any longer. I know he’s your husband and maybe I shouldn’t have come on to you but I don’t regret it. I love you. Please just let me see you. Let me talk to you one last time. Don’t end this the same way you did ten years ago. I can’t take it again. PLEASE! Tell me when we can meet tomorrow!

Eric

             
I can feel the pain in his words like a sword in my chest. I clutch at my heart doing all I can to steady my breath as the tears now stream down my cheeks. He’s right! I can’t do this all over again. It wasn’t the right way then and it isn’t the right way now.

Eric

You’re right. It isn’t fair to you or me. I’ll meet you. Tomorrow at noon at the coffee shop. But please, this has to be the last time. It has to be to say goodbye. I don’t have intentions on leaving Travis. I made the decision to marry him and he takes care of me. I can’t hurt him. Tomorrow is only to say goodbye.

Steph

              With the send button I shut down the computer erasing any evidence of me being online and quietly sneak up to the bed that once was filled with trust and warmth.

***

              Stretching my arms and yawning I suddenly feel a hand firmly placed on my hip and a hardness pressed against my behind. At first I picture Eric and I squirm a little closer and then instantly open my eyes, realizing it’s Travis.

             
“Shhh… don’t move baby. Your ass feels so fucking good in the morning,” he whispers as he pulls my long auburn hair away from my neck trailing kisses up the side. Thank god he can’t see my face right now because it’s filled with disgust and worry. I’m scared as hell that he’s going to find out there’s something different about me.

             
His hand moves around to my belly sliding easily against my white silk night gown. I don’t move and don’t dare push away from him. His hand scrunches my night gown up until my bare ass is exposed and he presses against me again and I can feel he’s unclothed as well. Instead of prepping me, getting me wet to make it more enjoyable, he goes straight to rolling me on my belly and spreading my legs open on either side of his knees. I grunt in response, but he pays no attention. With no preparation he pounds into me once and hard, I cry out as he stretches me. A tear falls down my cheek as I realize this is always about him; everything is for his pleasure. As he pounds into me several more times more tears begin to escape me and as they do that sensation down in my gut begins to build. My body responds to my husband appropriately, but my mind is somewhere else. My hands fist into the sheets as he grips my hips tighter slamming into me again and again.

             
I bury my face in an attempt to clear the tears and take steady breaths as he continues to violate me. This is not love. This is infatuation and control. The pressure builds inside me and I want so bad to fight it. I don’t want to give into the satisfaction. He doesn’t deserve it and I don’t deserve it after what I’ve done. I clench my teeth gripping even harder to the silk sheets and he slams into me several more times before a deep groan of satisfaction sounds from his lips and he begins to slow. Before moving out of me he tugs my hair pulling me up so that my back is almost pressed against his chest and as he grips my hair tighter he leans into my ear.

             
“You belong to me,” he whispers and chills run up my spine, his tone harsh and dominantly controlling, as if I have no free will. He releases my hair, roughly pulling out of me and I bury my face in the bed as I hear the bathroom door close. At least I didn’t cum, but now I’m itching for relief. I refuse to gratify myself though. 

Chapter Fifteen

             
I look back at the clock that hangs on the wall of the tiny coffee shop, waiting impatiently for Eric to arrive. He’s already five minutes late and the uncontrollable tapping of my foot is causing a clicking sound on the grey cement floor and it’s drawing attention to me. Facing reality that he’s not coming, I grab my purse and walk out hearing the bell on the door chime behind me. Thomas isn’t supposed to be back for another hour so I have no clue what I’m going to do with myself. The thought that he stood me up has tears brimming the corners of my eyes. I wipe them away before they can roll down my cheeks. This was the last time I was going to see him and he failed to show. I feel like my heart’s been ripped from my chest. I continue to walk in the direction of more office buildings, farther away from the market. I don’t know where I’m going, but I just need to walk. I feel as if I’ve been crying nonstop for days now and I want it to end. I want all this pain I’ve felt for so many years to be done with.

             
I find myself coming up to the alley near the coffee shop. The alley Eric pulled me into the first day we were out here. The thought of the way his hands felt on my body as they ran up my thighs at the gym, has my cheeks burning with fire. Facing the empty alleyway I begin to realize just how empty my life is, like this alley. No matter what, Eric will never be mine and Travis will always treat me like I’m not worth more than the dirt on his shoes. I will forever be lonely. The tears begin to roll down my cheeks uncontrollably and I can’t wipe them away fast enough. A firm hand grabs my wrist pulling me around and a scream escapes my mouth.

             
“Steph! What are you doing back here?” The sight of Eric has me breaking down; I wrap my arms around his neck barring my face into his green shirt. I take in his musky scent of cinnamon and a man that’s been working out.

“I’m sorry I’m late Steph. I got caught in traffic. Why didn’t you wait in the coffee shop? I was pacing up and down the sidewalk looking for you,” concern ringing through his voice.

              “I thought you weren’t coming,” I cry into his shoulder where my face is still buried.

             
“How could you think that? No way am I going to let you go that easily! I didn’t sleep all night after I got your email. I couldn’t believe you would just run away again. I won’t let you, Steph!” he says, pulling me by my arms away from him, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “I love you! Why don’t you see that? I won’t hurt you, Stephanie, and I definitely won’t let anyone else hurt you.”

             
“It’s just… I can’t hurt him… not like this Eric. I’m not that wife. Even if he’s hurt me several times over the past two years, I refuse to be like him. I can’t be with you while I’m married to Travis, and I can’t leave him,” I whisper the last part because I don’t know if I’ve ever said that out loud. I see Travis as the one who saved me from my misery of not having Eric. How can I betray him?

             
“Give me time Steph, please! Don’t end it now. It’s too soon. You’re not seeing me because you’re a bad wife. You’re seeing me because you deserve so much better. You’re betraying Travis because that’s what he deserves. You have to see that. Leave him! Don’t look back. Come with me. I’ll take care of you.”

             
“I can’t…” I whisper as tears stream down my cheeks, he pushes completely away from me fiercely running his hands through his mangled blonde hair.

             
“WHY?!” he growls, and I recoil from his tone, ducking my head in reaction, afraid of his anger. “Don’t! Don’t be scared of me. I’m sorry. I’m not angry with you. This isn’t your fault. I blame your dad and the asshole you’re with now. They’ve taught you that you don’t deserve to be treated with respect. You’ve grown to hate yourself, Steph, and I can see it in your eyes. Why don’t you see how special you are? Please, give me the chance to show you. I promise, I won’t let Travis hurt you and if you truly don’t want to be with me then I’ll let you go, but you have to give me the chance to show you how life with me could be.”

             
He pulls me back into him, kissing my forehead, and I’m grateful for his comfort. I’m torn. I want him, always have, but to betray my husband, I just don’t know if I can do it. His hands move to my hair brushing it behind my ears as he tilts my chin up and I see him, I see the pain in his eyes. I can’t do this. I can’t leave him again. Not only will his heart break, but so will mine and I don’t know if I could ever recover from the endless torture it will cause both of us.

             
“Please,” he pleads and I melt beneath him. How can I stop seeing him? I will die inside. I’m tired of being the one hurting, tired of letting others abuse me. Maybe, I can be with Eric. If what we have is love and Eric doesn’t change his mind, running the other direction, then maybe, just maybe, I can finally be truly happy. I’ll finally know what true love is. It’s the fear of him coming to the realization that I’m not worth his time and that he was only infatuated with me these last ten years, that it never was love that has me scared.

             
“You don’t understand Eric…”

             
Before I’m able to finish my sentence his mouth is crushed against mine and he’s moving me deeper into the alley. I attempt to fight against him, stopping him, but deep down I really want this, I want him and he knows it, so I give in. His hands grab my hips as he guides me against the cement wall where he almost kissed me for the first time.

             
His large hands moving up my hips and under my tank until they reach my bra and he pulls it down allowing by breast to pop out and then moving my shirt up so both my nipples are exposed to the air instantly hardening. Both his thumbs run over my buds, rubbing them and pinching them causing a surge of pleasure to move from my breasts down to my needy place. Finally his lips move from mine as he takes one of my breasts in his mouth and I’m able to catch my breath, but the pleasure doesn’t stop there. After taking my nipple in his mouth, sucking and nipping, he moves to my other one while twisting the exposed bud with his fingers. Quickly he moves back to my lips and as he presses against me I feel the hardness in his jeans. It’s overwhelming. I can feel the desire.

             
Swiftly he turns me around so that my nipples are firmly pressed against the cool cement which almost puts me over the edge. Lifting my skirt he grab’s my underwear pulling them all the way down to the ground, gently running his hand up my thighs on his way back up, spreading my legs slightly. He leans in and his lips brush my ear as I hear the zipper of his jeans and I know what’s about to happen, but I don’t want to stop it. I can’t bring myself to tell him no. I want him, badly.

             
“I can’t wait any longer, tell me now, tell me now, Steph, if you don’t want this I’ll turn around never bothering you again,” he whispers in my ear, and I can feel his bare hardness pressed against my ass. Both of us panting, out of breath, I want it. I need to feel him inside me. I arch my back so that my ass presses harder against him. “Oh baby, you feel so fucking good,” he groans, as he presses harder against me and I’m pinned between him and the wall.

             
He runs his finger between my legs, spreading me open as he trails kisses along the back of my neck. His finger enters me and he rubs my juices around, massaging my clit. “You’re so wet,” he whispers between kisses. A deep moan escapes my lips as he slowly enters me, filling me. As he gently moves in and out of me I quickly begin to build, tightening around him.

             
“Cum for me,” he whispers, and I shudder under the feel of his breath on my neck as he trails kisses down. Pounding harder inside me and I can’t hold back any longer and I give in, relishing in the sweetness of his body, screaming his name aloud, “Eric!” He continues moving in and out of me until he knows I’ve finished and then before I know it he’s turned me around lifting me up the wall and I straddle his hips, holding onto his neck as he continues.

             
His lips meet mine and our tongues get tangled, roaming within each other as he keeps his rhythm, allowing me to build again. “I didn’t want to take you like this, Steph,” he whispers against my neck as he begins to pound harder inside of me and another moan escapes my lips. “I have to have you, all of you,” he grits between his movements, and with that he pushes in and out a few more times climaxing me to the point of no return, and I release calling out his name again in pleasure and I feel his body shudder against mine as he reaches his climax at the same time, filling me with his ecstasy.

             
He doesn’t release me, just presses his forehead against my chest, both of us out of breath, him still inside me. He looks up with those mesmerizing green eyes and I know there’s no hope, I’m lost in him, and there is no return.

             
“I love you, Stephanie.”

             
“I love you too.”

Gently he places me on my feet, then pulling his jeans back up as I fix my skirt. He bends down grabbing my underwear that
is on the ground and stands up stuffing them in his pocket. “Hope it’s okay if I hold onto these?” he asks, grinning with satisfaction. I reply by pulling him back into me and kissing him passionately in a way I don’t think I’ve ever kissed Travis.

             
Finally, I move away, a tear falling down my face, but I don’t care, I let it because it’s a tear of love and passion.

             
“Promise me, you’ll give me a chance, and that once you see I truly love you and want you, then I’ll help you leave that asshole. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

             
I don’t want to make promises because I don’t know how this is going to end. “I can only promise that I will give you a chance, Eric. I can’t promise anything more.”

             
“I’ll take what I can get,” he replies pulling me in, hugging me and placing a delicate kiss upon my forehead. “Now, how about that coffee?”

             
“Sounds good, but I’ve got to use a restroom first,” I say shyly, but he just smiles as he wraps his arm around my waist and we walk towards the coffee shop.

***

              As I sit across the small square table from my blonde haired, green eyed knight in shining armor, I can’t help but get the feeling that this is where I belong. With him. As he talks about his fight that’s coming up I watch his tattoos that move with his arms and every muscle that flexes as he gestures his hands. Those hands! I quiver at the mere thought of them touching me. My pussy already feeling moist again as I sit here crossed legged trying to focus on his words and not his delicious mouth. I take another sip of my coffee and am brought back to reality when a waitress comes by our table.

             
“Can I get you two anything to eat?” she asks, her voice piercing my ears and making me wish even more that I was alone with Eric.

             
“No, thank you,” Eric replies, turning his attention back to me. “So, give me till my fight. Four weeks, that’s all I need to show you where you belong, Steph.”

             
Four weeks! Four weeks, to make a life changing decision. I don’t know if that’s enough time. I love this man, but he’s asking me to divorce my husband, the man that’s given me everything. Even if he disagrees with the way Travis treats me, Travis was still there for me when I had no one. Four weeks, I can do this!

             
“Okay,” I reply quietly and I watch as his eyes light up with joy.

             
“You’ll come to my fight and I’ll take you to dinner afterwards. We’ll celebrate my victory and your freedom from the asshole!”

I giggle at his overeager confidence. “What makes you so sure you’ll win the fight and me?” I question.

              “Because, we belong together, Steph. You’ll see soon enough, and the fight, well that’s inevitable. I’ve spent too many years using my rage and loneliness in the rings to allow anyone to beat me. I fight for you Stephanie, and when I’m fighting for you, I can’t lose.”

             
“I want to be with you Eric. I’m just not sure how, and I’m not sure how to leave Travis,” I take a breath not wanting to say the last piece, “he scares me.”

             
He reaches out his arm grabbing my hands in his and the small ounce of me that was beginning to tremble quickly subsided. “I won’t let him hurt you. I’ll let you make your own choice. Like I said, if you don’t want to be with me after these four weeks, then I will leave. I’ll never bother you again. But I’m not walking away until I at least show you all I have to give,” he whispers, leaning across the small table, placing a sweet kiss on my forehead.

             
“Four weeks,” I reply.

             
“Four weeks, that’s it, and then the rest of our life.” He winks.