Evolution (21 page)

I stumbled for the door, buttoned my shirt, and pondered all the blood I’d had and the lingering ache in my bones. That’s right, Hane had broken me quite thoroughly. Why would he want me to heal so fast?

At the top of the stairway, I caught Genesis’s scent—incense and rain. He’d been here. Had he seen the corruption I’d been a part of? My head spun, nearly sending me tumbling down the stairs. I had to get to him. Explain, see if he would forgive me for not stopping him from leaving this morning.

The crowd moved in a mass exodus of vampires and groupies, dragging me along with them toward the Park. A mushroom cloud of smoke ballooned up from the parking area. Everyone stopped, keeping me farther back than I wanted. Was he there? Was Genesis okay?

I pushed my way through, letting them curse and glower. I got to the edge and saw the horror with my own two eyes. My BMW smoldered, damaged, but not nearly the twisted metal mess that had been the Honda parked next to it. The sirens and flashing lights of the police flashed like a strobe in my head, slowing down my world to a crawling speed.

The black smoke poured heavily from the car. No one could have survived that. The letters PG for Preservation Group flickered on the pavement two feet from the car, burning in gasoline.

I sunk to my knees, utterly destroyed. Maybe if I walked up to the cops right at this moment and proclaimed myself an illegal vamp, they’d let me jump in the burning car too. Finish me off. End me as surely as losing him would….

Genesis

T
HE
graveyard again. Only this time there was no end to the darkness. The girl reappeared, took my hand, and walked with me for a while. Neither of us spoke, but it was a moment of complete contentment. I didn’t feel dead, but nothing hurt, and my soul felt at peace. Odd. Especially if this graveyard of gray endless headstones was all I would get until I was born into my next life.

Kerstrande’s betrayal felt so far away. Something about it all felt wrong. He would never have gone to that party on his own. I knew him well enough to know that. He went to the grocery store after midnight just to avoid other people. So what had happened? Finally I said, “Can you tell me anything?”

The girl turned my way and smiled, showing the dead part of her face as well as the radiant part. “Memories.”

“Good ones or bad ones?”

“What do you choose?”

“KC.”

“Even when he has hurt you?”

“I don’t think it was his choice. Something wasn’t right. That wasn’t him.”

She smiled again and kept walking, pulling me along with her. I had to pause when I suddenly felt our first kiss again. KC had breathed life into my life that day, awakened things in me I’d feared I’d never find.

It changed to him stumbling through the rain, feeding on three girls, having sex with them, but so completely blank-eyed I was sure he probably didn’t remember what he’d done. Then the night he’d taken me from my flat and into his home. His panic when he’d finally become aware of his surroundings made my heart hurt. He’d feared he’d killed me, sat wrapped around me, weeping until I stirred in my sleep, probably from some dream I didn’t remember.

“So he is a vampire,” I whispered to the girl.

“He is eternal, just in a different way than you are.”

Another vision appeared. This one was more horrific than the others, but it explained Michael Shuon’s death. Michael turned into something really dark, a heap of shadows piled upon itself. It left a trail of dark ooze that killed the grass as he moved through it, stalking KC, who already dripped blood. Michael’s hands changed, turning into claws or talons like an eagle might have. He flew across the distance to slam KC to the ground and tear into his back, slashing through the leather duster and his skin as easily as if it were paper.

KC’s shriek of pain made my eyes begin to water. He responded with a blindingly fast turn to smash his fist like a hammer into Michael’s face. Michael flew back, thudding against a tree, but spun around in some crazy martial arts move to meet KC’s foot, which was raised to deliver a deadly kick. Michael twisted the caught leg. An audible crack sent KC tumbling to the ground, crying in agony.

Michael dropped the dislocated foot and hacked into KC, cackling like some madman in a horror movie. Then the motion stopped suddenly. Blood began to pour from the black heap that was Michael. It poured over KC’s leg. He hissed and dragged himself away from the nasty flow.

Hane stood behind Michael, hand through the man’s chest, gripping his heart. When he pulled the bloody pulp free, Michael should have been done, but he turned, a horror show of death and evil, and struck out at Hane. Hane returned his deadly slash with a swipe of some flashing steel. Michael’s head toppled from his body, thunking to the ground like the dead weight it was.

KC crawled farther away while he watched Hane devour Michael’s awful blood and then rip him apart. I felt KC’s pain and wished I could touch him. He yanked his leg back into place, stifling the scream that wanted to break through. Tears clouded his vision. Not only had he lost Michael to the monster who’d been eating him slowly from the inside out for years, he would now watch the same thing happen to Hane. He wished he had never been changed, never given another life.

“It hurts him to be this way,” I said, hating that I had to watch him in pain. “Isn’t there a way to stop it?”

“Only when Yin meets Yang will you stop the cycle of destruction.” Her words made more sense than anything else I’d heard so far. KC’s aggression made him heavy with Yang. I remembered how often my grandfather told me of the necessity of balance. The question was, could I be KC’s Yin? Was I enough to form a wall between him and that endless battle for his soul?

So much swam through my head, I began to feel a little dizzy and had to sit down. Something else she said finally clicked. “What do you mean I’m eternal? Do you mean like rebirth and stuff?”

“Yes, and yet no.” She leaned down and kissed my forehead. “You should go.”

“Huh?” I felt totally lost as her beautiful eyes expanded, filling the world around me. And then I was falling, plunging from the sky, the golden sun tinged with the red glow of a fading day. I sucked in a deep breath and flailed as the ground approached at a deadly speed. The wind seemed to catch me, letting me glide a way across the city. I flapped my wings, not understanding where I was for a few minutes, or better yet, what I was.

I felt like I was floating on a breeze so warm and gentle, a soul free of all bonds. Was this Nirvana? Had I achieved the ultimate in enlightenment? I soared above everything, a tug of some invisible bond leading me to swing in another direction.

A familiar form waved to me from below, offering a large, soft, white blanket in his arms for me to land in. I tumbled into that waiting embrace, felt the blanket wrapped around me, and was shoved into a car.

A wet nose dug through the folds of fabric before finally meeting mine. Mikka crawled in beside me and curled up around me, purring while she licked my feathers clean. It should have been odd to be smaller than Mikka, or to see myself covered in feathers, but I was too tired to care. I let the warmth of my furry companion’s embrace lull me to sleep.

Chapter 24

I
WOKE
up in bed, wondering if it had all been a dream. Cris dozed beside me, arm wrapped around my waist, Mikka curled up near my head, still purring, tail flicking in happy tandem. The white blanket still covered my hips, but Cris lay on top of the blankets fully dressed except for shoes. Had he known? And how much did he know? Mikka had only come into my life after I’d met Cris that first time. So maybe he knew this was coming. Maybe even sent Mikka to me to care for me.

He stirred, opening sleepy eyes. Groaning, he tucked himself tighter against me, face buried against my neck. “It’s too early, Gene. I’m a night owl, remember?”

“Like a real owl?”

He chuckled. The sound was warm and made me smile. “Nope. What you see is what you get.”

I eyed Mikka, like maybe she was not telling me something. She just gave me a sleepy glare. “So what am I exactly?”

“Big questions first, eh? Meaning of life and all that?”

“I died. I turned into a bird. Was it all some sort of dream?”

“You didn’t die. You were reborn.” He grabbed the blanket from behind him and flung it over both of us, resulting in a startled mew from Mikka, who had to adjust her position. It also brought us closer. “You, my friend, are a phoenix.”

The only memory I could place with the word was a kid’s movie that had exploding birds with healing tears. How had I become this thing? My grandfather never mentioned anything, nor had my mother. Maybe they didn’t know. Maybe my dad had been a phoenix too.

“I can see the wheels turning like crazy in your head. You’re overworking your hamsters,” Cris joked.

“How did you know I would change?”

“First time I touched you, your energy was off the chart. I could take all I wanted, and you’d just keep shrugging off more.”

I turned toward him, disrupting Mikka even more, but facing Cris’s rueful expression. “What are you?”

“You wouldn’t recognize the word. Never were big on school.” He brushed my hair out of my eyes. “I think I understand your lack of focus now. Having all that life flowing through you must keep you bouncing off the walls. My life is sex. Without sex I will wither and die.” He shrugged. “Intimacy works too, but not as well as the real thing. It’s how I knew that no matter how much I love you, you’ll never be mine.”

“I do love you.” He was one of my best friends. Even if we weren’t lovers anymore, I felt closer to him than most anyone.

“But you’re not in love with me. I’m not enough of an opposite to balance you.”

Rob had said something about me needing an opposite as well. “If I am life, what exactly is my opposite, then? Death?”

He sighed and yanked me into a hug. “Promise you’ll remain my friend and come to me whenever you need.”

“Of course. That’s a dumb thing to ask.”

He chuckled. “Not to me. I’ve been alone a long time. I was hoping you’d be my balance.”

“I’m sorry.” And I really was.

Cris ruffled my hair, then rolled away. He smoothed the blankets back in place and rounded the bed to scratch under Mikka’s chin. “Twilight is falling. I have to go hunt. You should call your record label and your family to let them know you’re alive. They think you’re dead.” He clicked on the TV, and the news filled the flat screen with images of my car, burned to a shattered hull, being towed away from the Park. “Best to not tell everyone what you are.” Flickering flames that read “PG” filled the screen for a moment before firefighters put out the fire. “Not everyone appreciates those of us who are different.” He vanished into the living room, and a moment later I heard the door open and close as he left.

I stared at Mikka, feeling so overwhelmed my thoughts were blank. Instead of facing the day, I just rolled over, pulled the blankets over my head, and tried to not feel overwhelmed by the past twenty-four hours of my life. Now I was on PG’s radar, instead of just being a freak who saw things. I now changed into something weird, and KC had been involved in an orgy. Crap.

Tears filled my eyes. Oh no. I was so not letting this whole thing rip me apart again. So love didn’t conquer all. Big deal. I’d lived this long just fine without it. I moved away from Mikka, ignored the messy bed, and stood in the middle of the bedroom thinking about the change I’d been through. Could I do it at will? I concentrated really hard, imagining I had feathers and could fly, but nothing happened. Dammit.

I picked up Cris’s landline and called my mom. She responded with weepy joy when I told her I was alive and fine. She asked about the car, and I told her I had left it there to go for a walk but had found my way home instead of returning to it. It was only a partial lie, but I still felt awful about it. She made me promise to visit as soon as I could and to call my grandfather. The call to him was much the same. No one answered at the studio, and I didn’t dare call Rob. So I threw on some clothes and headed down to hail a cab.

The ride went faster than I thought it would, mostly because I spent the whole time thinking about what to say. Truth was always easier to remember than lies. But the truth would likely get me killed. The time in the graveyard had reminded me of all the good times with KC, but being back in the real world made me mad just thinking about him with someone else. He’d never promised that he just belonged to me. Heck, he wouldn’t even touch me other than an occasional kiss. What made me think he owed me anything? I sighed as the cab pulled up outside the studio.

The guard who let me in stared like he’d never seen me before. Did I look different? I hadn’t had a chance to glance in the mirror. He radioed for Mr. Tokie, who appeared in the hallway just minutes later and wrapped his arms around me.

“We thought you were dead.”

“I wasn’t in the car. I went for a walk and then fell asleep. I came as soon as I heard the news.” I gave him the same story I had told my family.