Evolving Dreams (New Beginnings Series) (9 page)

“That’s good. I didn’t know you were getting ready to be an aunt. How many siblings do you have?”

“Just the one older sister.”

“Are you close?”

“Really close considering I’ve been gone so much the last few years. It’s easy to keep in contact with everyone with cell phones and email and stuff. I do wish I could see them more often. I’m thinking about taking a few weeks off when Maura has the baby and helping out with Aubri—my niece—while she recovers. It’s a good excuse to hang out with my folks too.”

Trace nodded. “I miss seeing my mom—and Michael—more often too. I go back when I can, but it’s not the same.”

“Were you never very close with Sean? I’ve been surprised he hasn’t carved out a little more time to spend with you. He’s always spoken really highly of you. The whole family does.”

“That’s right, I forget you probably see my family more than I do.” He looked pensive. “I guess Sean and I have been close enough for stepbrothers. We never had a lot in common, but we always got along okay. It was a little hard for me when Mom first married Michael because I was so used to it being just the two of us. And Sean, of course, was high-maintenance with all the dance competitions and stuff. Mom was his new mother as well as his dance teacher and manager. But I was pretty self-sufficient and Michael was good to keep an eye on me. He always seemed to know when I needed him around.”

“Michael is a great guy. I like him—and your mom—a lot.”

The waiter showed up with their wine and stuffed mushrooms. After he left, Trace pushed the appetizer over to Meg and said, “Here, you go first. Hey! You never told me what you thought of the museum last weekend.”

“It was great. Anthony and I had lunch then went over there and Tobi showed up to tour it with us. We had a lot of fun. Then Tobi and I went grocery shopping and she came back over with me to your house. We fixed salads for dinner and sat out on your deck—watched the sunset. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.”

“Oh! I didn’t tell you about the best part of my weekend, though!” She leaned forward in her seat. “Do you know that church at the corner of your street and Tidal Road? It’s that big Christian church . . . umm . . . Bayside Christian Church.”

“I think so. It has that steep pitched roof, right?”

“Yeah. I went there Sunday morning and it was awesome. Have you been there?”

“No. I think the last time I went to church was when I was visiting my mom. I never really tried to find one here. You liked it, huh?”

“Yeah, I was telling Mom it didn’t feel like a lot of big churches do. You know, impersonal? Everyone seemed really friendly and the worship time and preaching were great. I got a lot out of it. I miss being able to go to church on a regular basis. We’re usually traveling or have matinees to perform on Sundays. How about you? Are you a church guy?”

“I used to be. I grew up in church and we had a really active youth group when I was in high school. You know . . . Bible camp every summer . . . mission trips . . . all of that stuff. I even played around with the idea of becoming a youth minister for a little while.”

“Sounds like you liked it.”

“I really did. But then I left home and went into the Navy. By the time I knew where I would be stationed I kind of fell away from it.”

Meg tipped her head to the side and studied him. “Why do you think that is?”

“Maybe I’ve seen too much and it’s caused me to wonder about some things. It’s not that I don’t think there’s a God—I still believe there definitely is. I just wonder why such bad things can happen to people who don’t deserve it.”

“Oh, I understand. That’s interesting because . . .”

“Here are your salads. Would you care for more wine?” the waiter interrupted as he gathered the appetizer platter and plates from the table and replaced them with the salads and breadbasket.

“Meg? More wine?” Trace asked her.

“No, thanks. Just more water with lemon, please.”

The waiter waved the busboy over with water,
then they left Trace and Meg alone.

“What were you saying? What’s interesting?” Trace wanted to know.

“Oh, right. I was just going to say that ‘bad things happening to good people’ was the subject of Sunday’s sermon. You know . . . freewill and stuff. Even though someone might be living a righteous life, there is sin in the world and other’s sins can splash into your life. In a fallen world no one is immune from heartache and pain. This is the price we all pay for the gift of freewill God gave us. We also can’t truly love God without this freewill.” Meg gave Trace a rueful look. “Boy, this conversation is getting deep. You probably want to lighten this up some, huh?”

Trace replied, “It
is
pretty heavy.”

“Tell you what . . . I noticed in the church bulletin that you can listen to the sermons online. I can give you the website address and, if you’re interested, you can listen to it. I can tell you it
is
worth the time. I got a lot out of it. And there’s no way I can do it justice trying to explain it to you.”

“Yeah, I’d be interested in hearing it.”

Meg took several bites of her salad. “My friends, Monte and Tatiana, are coming down to visit me this weekend.”

“Oh, yeah? Have you made big plans?”

“They’re driving down Friday afternoon and staying in Old Town. Do you want to go over with me and meet them for drinks and dinner? Or do you have plans?”

“Oh! Well, don’t you want some time with them alone? You probably have a lot of catching up to do.”

“We can catch up with you there. I’d really like you to meet them.”

“Okay . . . that sounds fun.”

“I think we’re going to SeaWorld on Saturday morning. You’re welcome to come with us if you want, but I’m guessing that’s not your idea of excitement,” Meg laughed.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been. I took Mom and Michael one time when they were here visiting. Maybe I will come along if you’re sure you won’t mind me tagging along.”

“Great!”

“How long are they staying?”

“They’ll drive back to LA Saturday evening after we get done at the park.”

The waiter arrived to clear the salad plates away and to deliver their entrees. They dug in to enjoy the delicious food and chatted about this and that . . . Meg telling interesting and amusing stories about her last tour . . . Trace recounting his training exercise from the weekend before.

“That’s terrible! You guys did
not
really do that to those agents,” Meg said, laughing so hard she could hardly catch her breath.

“Look . . . we warned them the ground was marshy and to stay clear of that area. Next time they’ll listen.”

“Yeah, but to leave them stuck like that for two hours . . . “

“They didn’t know we knew they were there the whole time. Like I said, it was a learning experience.” He grinned. “But, maybe we were acting a little sketchy when we suggested they shouldn’t head out that direction. It
could
have been a trap. But if you tell any of them this I will deny it and condemn you for a liar.”

They both laughed and Meg shook her head. “I’m stuffed. This was so good.” She pushed her plate back.

“What? No dessert?”

“No way. I don’t think I could.”

“How ‘bout a walk on the beach out there? We can walk some of this dinner off and maybe stop for ice cream on the way home. I know a great ice cream place near my house.”

“If we walk off some of this food,
maybe
I can eat ice cream,” Meg said.

Trace motioned for the check and paid the waiter. They left through the front door and took the dock around to the back of the restaurant where a set of steps led down to the beach. Meg kicked off her shoes and bent down to pick them up as Trace took her other hand. She gathered her wrap closer around her for protection against the cool ocean breeze. He stopped to shrug out of his jacket and placed it around her shoulders and she looked back at him with a smile.

They walked along and talked about everything and nothing for a while before turning back toward the parking lot. “Well? What do you think about ice cream?” Trace asked as he climbed into the Jeep beside her.

“Oh, I’m always pro-ice cream,” Meg laughed. “But maybe we could split something. Unless you’re one of those guys who refuses to share his food.”

“I don’t have a problem with that.”

They stopped and decided on a banana split. Meg grew quiet as they sat at the picnic table outside the Creamery Shack and ate their dessert.

“You okay?” Trace asked. “You look so serious all of a sudden.”

“Well . . . maybe there is something I need to talk to you about. I probably should have brought it up sooner.”

“Okay, I’m all ears,” he said nervously.

Meg glanced around to see several people seated nearby. No one seemed to be eavesdropping. “Let’s wait ‘til we get home.”

“”Now you’re scaring me. You’re not going to tell me you’re a vampire or something, are you?” Trace joked, trying to lighten the suddenly serious mood.

Meg just smiled weakly and got up to throw away her napkin and spoon. Trace took the hint and scraped the rest of the ice cream out of the cup and rose to follow her.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

A half-hour later Trace
stood out on the back deck listening to the waves on the beach. He was waiting for Meg to change out of that beautiful red dress and join him. It obviously didn’t take him as long to change into his sweats. The door behind him slid open and he turned around. She had changed into a sweatshirt and jeans and scrubbed her face clean of all traces of makeup. He didn’t know many women who would do that. Most of them wouldn’t be caught dead without their faces perfectly made up.

“Okay,” she breathed as she sat down in one of the Adirondack chairs and tucked her bare feet under her. “This is awkward.”

Trace sat down next to her and studied her face.

Meg continued, “This is going to sound really weird to you, I know, but it’s important to me.” She took a deep breath. “I made a promise to myself a long time ago—a vow, really. You may not understand it, being a man of the world and all,” she tried to huff out a laugh but he didn’t join in.

“Meg, just say it. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”

“It’s not
bad
—it’s just . . . Okay, here goes.” The words finally came out in a rush, “I feel really attracted to you, but I won’t sleep with you. As much as I’d like to,” she added faintly staring down to where her hands were gripped together in her lap.

“Have I done something to make you feel like I’d pressure you to do something you didn’t want to do?”

“No, of course not. I just didn’t know if I was sending mixed messages. Because I am attracted to you and we’re here, basically living together—just the two of us lately with Sean gone all the time.” She looked up into his eyes. “I may be jumping the gun. You haven’t made a move on me and maybe you aren’t feeling the same thing I’m feeling.”

Trace barked out a laugh. “Yeah, right. Of course I want you, but only if it’s a mutual thing.”

“It is, but . . . I won’t have sex with anyone until I can be with the man I marry. This is something I promised myself when I was sixteen.”

“Wow. Well, I can only respect that. I mean . . . I always respect discipline and that takes a lot of discipline.” He leaned back in his chair, his legs stretched out in front of him. “I’m also a little disappointed . . . a lot disappointed, actually,” he said with chagrin.

“
Did
I lead you on? Do you feel like I did?” Meg asked worriedly.

“No, no! It’s just . . . I haven’t felt this—what I feel for you—maybe ever. And of course, I’ve thought about what it would be like to be with you. I want it more than anything. But, I understand . . . I think.”

“To me, making love is a gift I have to give to one man—the one I’m going to love for my whole life. If I give it away, even to only one other man, it cheapens something precious to me. Something I hope will be as precious to him.”

Trace groaned. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it anymore. It’s only making me want to be with you more,” he laughed.

“Would you rather I found somewhere else to stay? I could move my stuff out tomorrow.”

“No! I mean
, it’s going to be tough. I’m not saying it won’t. But I want you here. I want as much of you as you’re willing to give.”

“It’s going take as much willpower from me as it will from you, believe me. I feel such a strong connection with you. I haven’t felt this with anyone else either,” she admitted, looking away.

“Okay . . . that right there . . . You can’t say that stuff to me or we’re going to be in big trouble.”

Meg laughed, “Okay. Sorry.” She added, “Listen, if it gets to be too much for you, let me know and I
will
find another place to stay. A hotel, or maybe Tobi has a couch I can sleep on. Or if you decide we should quit seeing each other—dating—I’ll understand. I’m not fooling myself into believing you didn’t have intimate relationships with your past girlfriends. That part of the relationship may be just as important to you as waiting is to me.”