Ex Nihilo Academy (19 page)

“I love you, Lily.” He says, grimacing as Rowan presses the sword harder into his chest. “Okay, I swear! I swear Rowan just leave him alone!” I cry out and Rowan pulls the sword away. I bend down to kiss Luca, who
is still lying on the floor. My lips only meet his briefly before Danny and Charles pull me off of him. Luca slowly gets to his feet and Tom pulls his arms behind his back to escort him out of the cave while Nissa and Cai follow
closely behind. Luca looks over his shoulder at me and smiles sadly, and there’s something in his eyes that looks a lot like resignation and I can feel my heart splitting apart. Rowan comes over to stand in front of me and places his hands on my shoulders.

“I’m sorry, but I had no choice.”

“That’s a lie and you know it - there is always a choice.” I say through my tears.

“Why is he so important to you? You don’t know what vampires
are really like and what they are capable of.” He shakes my shoulders gently and I can read the hurt in his eyes. “Lily, you have no idea how powerful you are and how much good you can do for the supernatural world. Luca Morello is a distraction and he can’t be trusted but I let him live for you. For you. You
must see that.” I pull away from his grasp and level him with a glare.

“You’re wrong. I do know how powerful I am and how powerful I can become. A war has been waged and Lucinda and these creatures were just
pawns in a larger game. There is someone behind this; the same someone who killed my parents and who has enough dark power to summon demons and bring down airplanes. This is only the beginning and I know what I have to do but I’m
going to do it on my own terms.”

“What are you saying?”

I lean in to give him a soft kiss on the cheek and then I turn and walk slowly toward the mouth of the cave.

“Goodbye, Rowan.” I say, looking back over my shoulder as I
leave. He looks completely shattered and it tugs at my heart but I can’t let him bully me into being the person he wants me to be.

It’s only been a few days since the incident at the cave but
it feels like it’s been months, or even years. I haven’t talked to Luca at all. He won’t answer his phone and he hasn’t tried to find me, yet he is all I can think about and all I dream about. I am practicing straight throws at the
target mounted on the back of my new dorm room door and listening to Gotye for the millionth time today when Nissa walks in. She ducks as my knife skims over her head and out into the hall, then slams the door behind her.

“Watch out! How did you get in? I locked the door.”

“I used an unlocking spell, darling. Now please stop listening to this depressing song before I break up with you.” She says matter-of-factly.

“He didn’t break up with me. He didn’t do anything at all.
That’s the point! He owes me an explanation but how am I supposed to find him now?” She clears her throat.

“I know where he lives.”

“You know where he lives.” I repeat. I will not kill her
now; I will save that for later after I’ve seen Luca. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I yell, throwing another knife squarely into the center of the target with a little too much force.

“You didn’t ask.” Nissa says and I give her a pointed look.
“I didn’t know if it was a good idea to tell you but I see now that you will not let this go. Here, give me your phone and I will put his address in.”

I snatch the phone back from her as soon as she stops
typing, grab my keys and rush out the door. After waiting a painfully long time for the student ferry to come I locate my car, which is parked near the slipway. I have no idea how fast I am driving as I weave in and out of traffic, passing the slower vehicles on the road. I arrive in Downpatrick in record time
and I’m surprised when I pull up to Luca’s place. I don’t know what I was expecting: an underground lair decorated in red velvet with candelabras dripping wax? Instead I find an unassuming terrace house with a worn brick
façade. I walk up and knock on the white door, noting it’s peeling white paint, and wait. And wait. Nothing. I knock louder.

“I know you are in there! You’re not at school and you’re definitely not with me so answer the door!” I slam my fist into the door as
hard as I can. “You can’t shut me out like this!” I raise my fist to bang on it again but the door swings open and suddenly he is in front of me. He is bare-chested, his hair wet and messy from a recent shower, his dark eyes
revealing nothing.

“Lily.” He says flatly and the detachment in his voice makes me cringe.

“Why are you doing this?” I plead. He rubs his hand across his face and his eyes briefly betray his cool demeanor, telling me that he does
still feel something for me.

“Can I come in?” I say hoarsely and his brows pull together as he considers. He seems to be weighing something in his mind, but he finally pushes the door all the way open and I quickly duck under his arm. He doesn’t
say anything and instead leads me through the small, low-ceilinged living room. It is sparsely decorated with only two black leather sofas and a huge flat screen mounted over an ancient stone fireplace. He continues to the rear of the
house, to a galley kitchen that has been extensively renovated. The floor is shiny black slate made to match the sleek black countertops. The cabinets are a light colored wood and the appliances stainless. He gestures for me to sit at
the small kitchen table but chooses to lean against the refrigerator when I do.

“Whatever you came to say just say it.” He says dejectedly as I stare at my hands folded in my lap.

“I don’t understand why you are being like this. I’m an
adult and a Council member and regardless of what I agreed to that day in the cave Rowan doesn’t dictate who I see or what I do.” At the mention of his name Luca flinches.

“This isn’t about Rowan. This right here between us can’t
happen. It won’t happen.” “Why? Are you scared that he’ll hurt you?” I ask and he laughs shortly.

“I’m not scared of the Nephilim. I’ve never been scared of anything, that is, before you came along.” His eyes are stormy as he stares at
me.

“Then is this about your sister? Please talk to me.”

“Why don’t we say that we are not good for each other and leave it at that? You can’t be all that surprised; you heard the rumors about
me. ‘Luca the Great’ uses women and disposes of them.” He says sarcastically and I shake my head.

“Those are only rumors, Luca and I know that’s not you. I know you feel something for me.”

“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do.” He says bitterly, folding his arms across his chest. I get up and cross the floor until I am standing right in front of him. His eyes travel from mine down my face and to my lips. I scan his exposed chest and try my best to keep focused.
He is not as bulky as Rowan but he is strong, which is obvious from the curve of his biceps and the well-defined lines of his abdomen. Without thinking I run a hand down his chest and he makes a noise deep in the back of his throat.
“Don’t, Lily.”

“Don’t what?” I say innocently, excited that his body still responds to me even if he won’t. I trail my other hand down his arm and when I look up again his lips crash into mine. His hands skim my hips and he pulls me
against him, working his mouth frantically against mine. I can feel the desperation in his kisses as he backs me up against the counter and lifts me on to it. I take the opportunity to wrap my legs around his waist and I let out a soft moan
when his hands slip under the back of my shirt.

“This can’t happen.” He pulls away, panting.

“But you want it to?” I reply, letting him go and touching a hand to my swollen lips. He sighs and leans his weight against me, rubbing his
nose back and forth in the crook of my neck.

“I think you know the answer to that.” He whispers and I pull his jaw up, forcing him to look me in the eyes.

“Please let me stay with you, even if it’s just for
tonight.” I beg and he gives me a small, sad smile.

Un milione di notti non sarebbe sufficiente.
His voice is like a gentle caress in my head. “A million nights wouldn’t be enough.”

“Is that a yes?” I say hopefully and he nods and leads me by the hand to his bedroom. It’s a tiny room with scuffed wood floors and a queen sized bed that takes up most of the space. A nightstand holds a single framed picture of me on the front lawn at Ex Nihilo. I recognize the outfit I’m
wearing and I know that it was taken the first day of school. I want to ask about it but I don’t want to him to shut down again. The only other photo in the room is a framed one on the wall with an older couple, Luca and a young
female in front of a fireplace smiling and I guess that it must be his family. His gaze follows mine to the picture, then his liquid brown eyes flick back to me as he folds back the bed covers and lays down. I slip off my shoes and climb
in and he pulls me against him.

“I have been going crazy the past few days - you have no idea.” I whisper into his neck and he kisses my collarbone in response.

“Oh, I have an idea. But I need you to understand that this
is only for tonight. There are things happening that are beyond our control and I’ll put you in more danger if I stay here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“But I love you.” It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud
and I catch him by surprise. He sucks in a breath and squeezes me against his chest a little tighter.

“You are not hearing what I am saying.”

“I hear what you are saying and I don’t agree.” I say
stubbornly. “Whatever this is that’s happening: demons, this revolution, whatever’s going on between you and Rowan, all of it we can face it together. Trust me and have a little faith.” He is silent as I take a moment to bask in the warmth of his arms. It’s like when I’m with him everything makes sense and
the world seems right again. He brushes my hair back from my face and kisses the tip of my nose. I yawn against his chest, the sleepless nights finally catching up with me as my eyes flutter closed.

“My faith in you Lily is exactly why I can’t stay.” I make a noise of protest before sleep takes hold, knowing that come the morning we can figure it out together.

* *

I wake up alone and freezing. The heat is off and the wool
blanket that was covering me has been kicked to the floor. I yawn and stretch out before noticing that the house is eerily quiet. I head to the kitchen where I expect to find him, and then check the living room before doubling back to
the bedroom. Something is not right. I open the closet door and it is empty. I check the dresser drawers and it is the same - no clothes or books or anything of any kind. It’s the same in the bathroom - the cabinets are stripped bare.
The knot in my stomach grows when I see that the kitchen is also bare, no blood bags in the refrigerator, no glasses or dishes of any kind. I notice an envelope of cash with a note attached that reads ‘last month’s rent’ and a single white lily resting on the kitchen counter. That’s when it hits me like a
ton of bricks - he’s gone. Really gone. And from the looks of it he’s never coming back. He’s left me here all by myself to deal with Rowan, the dark forces, the Council and the impending war. So much for forever.

Luca is long gone and though I’m still going through the motions it feels like someone has ripped my heart right out of my chest. Not even yoga can quiet my mind this time. My life now consists of going to class,
hiding in my dorm room and trying to ignore Kennedy who’s constantly glaring holes in my back.

I tried to claim a table in the cafeteria far away from the crowd because I don’t feel like talking to anyone but Nissa and Cai quickly put
a stop to that. Nissa says if I’m going to wallow in self-pity I can do it in front of them and a lot closer to the food. I don’t know what I did to deserve friends like them but I’ll have to find some way to pay them back for all they’ve done for me.

Since the incident in the cave most of the fairies have steered clear of me - not that I blame them. I’m not sure if it’s because of what happened with Tristan or because word has spread that I’ve taken the throne but either way I’m not bothered by it. I was having trouble connecting
with them in the first place and now all the drama gives me an excuse to keep to myself. The reality is if I’m going to embrace my new role as princess wholeheartedly then I have to create some distance between my peers and myself,
especially since I already have marching orders from the Council. We’ve been summoned to Venice where we will be meeting with the ‘Bishops of the Synod’ who are apparently like the senate for supernatural affairs. Professor Winters was
wrong when she said that the Council operated without red tape and the irony is not lost of me that we will be heading to Luca’s home country. I always dreamed that I would see Venice - just not like this. We leave Friday.

The school has stepped up my training again since I’m being thrown into active duty. My new instructor, Sebastian, is a vampire and he’s nice enough. Nissa tells me that he’s a ‘hottie’ but I honestly can’t tell anymore who’s attractive and who’s not because every time I close my eyes all I
can see is Luca’s face. Professor Winters’ chose to pair me with a vampire instead of a fairy because she said it would expose me to a wider range of abilities, whatever that means. My body is still aching all over from the two
hours of sparring we did yesterday.

Today is Saturday and it’s the first time I’m venturing off campus in almost two weeks. The fire completely destroyed the manor so my mail has been redirected to the Strangford post-office, and a clerk called to tell
me that I have a package waiting. I’m a little anxious about running into Rowan so I’m bringing Nissa and Cai along for back up. I haven’t seen him since that night at the cave; not that he’d be welcome on the grounds of Ex Nihilo even if
he could find it.

* *

The sun is shining when we pull into Strangford harbor and the sky is a brilliant blue color which only worsens my mood. Birds are chirping, the backdrop of trees provides a shock of brilliant green and a
tethered navy blue sail boat decorated with Christmas lights rests in the water tipped over on to its side. It looks like an idyllic Irish postcard and I hate the very sight of it. Nissa and Cai lead the way as we walk into town. I notice
that they are holding hands and stealing glances at each other and my heart twists a little. I’m happy for them in theory. I just don’t want to be happy for them right now.

I jog ahead to create some space between us, trying to
banish thoughts of Luca from my mind when Rowan ambushes me. Damn, there’s only a block left to the post office and I almost made it. I stop in my tracks, drop my eyes to the ground and focus on the pavement, his unlaced sneakers; I focus
on anything but his face.

“Look at me, Lily.” I shake my head and try to sidestep him but he grabs me and tugs my chin up. “I’ve been waiting weeks to say what I need to say so please give me the chance.” I glance back at Nissa and Cai who
are both very conveniently heading off in the opposite direction.

“We are going to get a coffee. See you soon!” Nissa shouts over her shoulder as she drags Cai off down the narrow street.

“I get that you are mad at me and I am not going to pretend
to understand why Luca is so important to you, but you can’t shut me out.” He says, his eyes pleading.

“He left because of you.” I say quietly, pressing my lips together.

“I told him stay away from you, I didn’t tell him to move.
That’s a decision he made all by himself. He’s the one that decided to leave you which is a pretty selfish move considering that your life is in danger.”

“I’m so tired of everyone walking around me on eggshells. I
am not some wounded bird that needs to be healed or fixed and I definitely don’t need to be protected. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and the Rowan I used to know would have agreed with me!” I look away so he won’t
see the tears of frustration pooling in my eyes. He pulls my face back to his.

“I am the same Rowan. The same one that you watched movies with, stayed up late with, confided in, the same one who’s bed you fell asleep
in, the same one you taught to surf… nothing has really changed between us.”

“Are you insane? Everything has changed!” I yell back as I pull away from him and his expression becomes serious.

“Whether or not you believe it I am here to keep you safe. I
am sorry that I didn’t tell you the whole truth about what I am but it’s the kind of thing you have to see to believe. If I had told you that I was immortal and a half-angel would you have even believed me?” He throws his hands up in
the air and I shrug.

“I don’t know, Rowan. Maybe. It doesn’t really matter now does it?”

“You need to understand how hard it was not to tell you but I’m bound by the secret. I was afraid if you knew what I was you wouldn’t let
me get close enough to watch over you.”

“Great. So you didn’t tell me the truth because you were afraid if I knew it would ruin your mission. Really? You choose now to tell me
that our friendship was not a friendship at all but just a way for you to keep an eye on me to make sure I didn’t screw things up?” I ball my hands into fists to keep them from shaking.

“Don’t twist my words. Every moment I have ever spent with
you has been one hundred percent real and deep down you know that.”

“Just tell me one thing, if your job is to protect the human race from supernaturals and I am a supernatural, then why are you trying to protect me? You seem to dislike everyone around me - and not just Luca -
witches and werewolves too - so why do fairies get special treatment?”

“It’s not special treatment and believe me there are more than a few fairies that I’d be happy to put a sword through for abusing their
powers. But there are more fairies, people like your parents, who want the same things that the Nephilim do. We share the goals of protecting the earth and keeping the peace so we have always had an easier relationship with them.” And even
though I’m still angry, somehow his words seem to have the desired effect. Maybe it’s because he mentioned my parents and I know that he’s right; peace is exactly what they would’ve wanted.

“I don’t want to give you the wrong idea about us.” I let
out a small, relenting sigh.

“I think you’ve made yourself pretty clear about Luca Morello. I’ll leave it alone for now, but know that protecting you has nothing to do with the way I feel about you.” He takes a deep breath and squares his
shoulders. “You can yell at me, you can hate me but as hard as you may try you are not getting rid of me.” He leans in until our noses are almost touching and I can feel his breath tickling my cheek. “I am here for you for whatever you
need, whenever you need it.” He says the words slowly and I close my eyes for a minute and let myself listen. We are standing this way when Nissa and Cai return with coffees.

“I hope that you two have figured out whatever it is you
need to figure out because it’s a beautiful day and I’m not wasting it on drama.” Nissa smirks and thrusts a paper cup into my hands.

“Thanks for the coffee. We should probably get to the post office before it closes.” I ignore her jibe and Rowan just shakes his head,
amused. He trails behind us as we continue on our walk and while part of me wants to turn around and tell him to take a hike another part of me is still trying to process everything he’s said. And I can’t deny that I do feel more
secure in his presence. When I reach the post office Nissa and Cai choose to wait outside but Rowan follows me in.

“I think I can handle coming in here by myself.” I say a little too sharply. He shrugs, looking a little sheepish, but stays right
behind me. At the counter I sign for my package which turns out to be a large, padded brown envelope. I rip it open and a cry escapes me when I look inside. My knees buckle but Rowan catches me before I hit the ground. “What is it?” He
asks as I shove the contents of the envelope at him, unable to speak. When he holds up the picture to inspect it the full force of it hits me again. It’s a photo of Luca bound to a chair and covered from head to toe in blood. Rowan
peers inside the envelope and pulls out the second item, which is a finely sharpened wooden stake with a note card attached.

* *

Lucinda was a fool and amateur.

You haven’t seen power like mine before.

I look forward to meeting you in Venice princess.

I’ll be waiting.

* *

I’m still feeling a little faint when Rowan grabs my arm and
leads me back out to my friends. He passes Cai the photo and the stake and turns back to me.

“I’m coming with you.”

“Oh my God, they have Luca. What am I going to do?” I say as I struggle to breathe.

“Did you not hear me? Rowan says more forcefully, grasping my shoulders.

“I’m coming with you.”

“You are coming with me to Venice?” I say, dumbfounded and he nods his head.

“I promise that I’ll help you find him. You mean that much
to me, Lily.” Before I can respond he pulls me against him and wraps his arms around me. “We will figure this out together.” I rest my head against his chest and let out a whimper. How did this happen? How is it that my best-friend, an
immortal half-angel and natural-born enemy to our races is going to help me find my vampire ex-boyfriend whom he hates and who’s sister he may or may not have killed? Not to mention that there’s a demon-powered supernatural waiting
for me in Venice who wants to see me dead by the time the next Council meeting rolls around. I pull away and stretch my neck back to look into his eyes.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen when we’re there, Rowan. You could get hurt - or worse.” He stares back at me, a slow grin spreading across his face, and I know in that instant that he’s made up his mind.

“I’ll take my chances with you any day, Lily Hughes.”

“Then I guess you’d better start packing.”