Exception (32 page)

“He said she’d been a mistake and that she was crazy if she thought he would leave me to be with her, because I was the woman he would marry and she was just a dumb, slut actress who he fucked occasionally. She must have said something back to him, because he was silent for a moment, which gave me the time to catch the breath that had been knocked out of me and go back to the living room with my perfect little world coming down on me like an avalanche.

“My childhood with Jane had taught me to hide my emotions, and I did just that. I sat on the sofa with a smile and some lame excuse as I talked to my sister and brother-in-law, pretending that everything was normal. A few minutes later he came back, all smiles and jokes as he usually was. He sat next to me and rested his hand on my leg. He’d done that millions of times, but that little touch that was so common to me made his betrayal even more real and brought back all the anxiety symptoms. Charlie obviously noticed, but because he was perfect in everyone’s eyes, including hers, she thought it was just some silly fight and, other than telling me she’d be just a call away before she left, she didn’t ask about it.

“I was so shocked and hurt that I could barely look at him. I’d never told him about my parents or the anxiety attacks, so when he saw me scratching myself and sweating like a pig despite the coolness of the air-conditioning, he asked me what was wrong. I told him I’d heard him talking to Natalie in the study.

“He went white as a sheet and started crying and begging me for forgiveness. Even in my debilitated state, I tried to talk to him. I desperately wanted to understand, but his excuses were ridiculous. After the longest time arguing, I eventually told him I needed time to think. That night, and the next seven, I slept in the guest bedroom and avoided him as much as possible.

“On the seventh night, the sound of my door opening woke me up.” Emily’s voice caught once again and she turned slightly to the side, pressing her body deeper into the cocoon Taylor made for her.

Only a small portion of her face was visible to him, and through it he could see that, despite the dryness of her eyes, her expression was the saddest he’d ever seen it. In the few silent moments before she continued, murderous anger took hold of him. Tremors threatened to overtake his muscles, placating them took every ounce of his strength.

Before continuing, Emily looked up, seeking and finding encouragement in the brown eyes that looked down at her. “He entered the room and walked straight towards the bed. The stench of scotch was sickening, and brought back every bad childhood memory I’d ever had. Despite my protests, he lay behind me in the bed and began running his hands oven my body, whispering how much he missed and loved me. I asked him to stop countless times, but he didn’t. As he touched and groped every part of me, he slurred loving words that were completely contradicted by his actions.

“I continued to ask and beg him to stop and leave me alone, but once more he ignored me. I kicked and screamed at him as he ripped my clothes to shreds while asking me to marry him, in between disgusting kisses to my neck. The harder I fought, the harder he fought back.

“In a moment of clarity, seconds before he—” She scrunched her eyes closed and shook her head, not wanting to say the words. An understanding kiss to the top of her head brought her back from the nightmare and gave her the strength to continue. “I remembered every time Jane mistreated me, and every promise I made to myself that I would never go through that again without at least putting up a serious fight. I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the first thing my hands touched, which was a lamp, and I brought it down on his head with all my strength. He rolled off of me long enough for me to grab my cell phone and run to the bathroom, where I locked myself in and texted two words to Charlie: THOR SOS.

“He screamed, called me names, and finally began kicking and hitting the door. I felt like a child in Jane’s house again, pushing against the breaking door with all my strength and praying for help. He eventually broke it down and entered the bathroom, yelling that I was acting stupid, that all he wanted was to love me and I should stop punishing him for being a man and just take him back.

“He pushed me against the sink, held my arm with a steel grip and tried to palm my butt. I kicked him in the nuts and ran, but I only made it as far as the hallway before he caught me again. He threw me against the wall so hard my head started to bleed. Once again he yelled at me, but this time he covered my mouth with his hand, making it almost impossible for me to breathe.

“At that moment, I knew I would lose the battle. I felt powerless and weak in his arms. Knowing what was bound to happen, the panic I felt as a teenager when that boy kissed me came back, but multiplied by twenty. I don’t remember much after that. I only remember hearing a scream and falling to the wet floor.”

Her raspy voice and shallow breathing were unbearable for Taylor. Anger, sadness and revulsion were just a few of the emotions he felt. Emily was the kind of woman that should be loved and appreciated by a man who knew, every single day, how lucky he was to have her. A man who would make her happiness his life goal simply because of how marvelous she was. She deserved to be treated like a queen and have a man who would rather die than to spend a single day without her.

That’s what she deserved—not a sleazy excuse of man who would cheat, treat her like garbage and assault her. Taylor’s rage came to a new high. He wanted her to stop; not because he didn’t want to know more, but because he was afraid he would blow up. However, he was a real man, and to him she was more important than his own feelings. He knew that, even though it was hard, talking about it was helping her heal, so he let her.

“The next thing I remember was coming out of the shower and Charlie helping me put some clothes on. I asked what happened, and she told me that after receiving my message she ran to my house with Chuck and Mjönir. She let herself in with the spare key and found us in the hallway. She said that when Chuck saw me naked, bleeding and passed out with Kevin standing on top of me, he went crazy. Took the bat from her and hit Kevin so hard it broke an arm and some ribs. Charlie said that after she took me from the floor, Chuck ditched the bat and went Norris on Kevin.

“After that, I moved back to Charlie’s house and became pretty much a zombie. I worked, went to therapy and hung out with Charlie and Chuck, nothing else. It took eight months and self-defense classes Charlie decided we should take together, for me to adventure outside the house alone, but it was still hard. Not only did Kevin know where to find me, but he was only minutes away, which made my panic much worse.”

“What happened to the fucker?” Taylor’s voice was low and strange.

His question and tone made her eyes fly up to meet his. It was only then she noticed that, even though she was snuggling against his chest, his hold on her had loosened, and his face was twisted in a disturbing way.

Her brows pulled together as she answered, “We pressed charges of assault. He had a lot of money and influence in his favor, so the charges were dropped. His father’s lawyer warned us that if we went to the press or tried anything that might jeopardize his family’s good name, they would press charges against Chuck. So we let it go and moved on with our lives.

“When the Webbers moved to New Haven I told Alec, my therapist, and Charlie, I wanted to move close to them. They both encouraged me, even though it took Charlie some time to make her peace with me being away. It took me about four months to finally feel ready to move.

“As you can see, moving helped a lot,” she continued, with a ghost of a smile on her lips. “Though, it took me some time to admit it. Before I left, Charlie made me promise I wouldn’t rule out happiness and love. She insisted that I should work on my fears and try to open up. She told me to be smart, go with my gut and show people, not only that I’m perfectly fine with being a hermit, but I also take no crap. With that said, if someone proved to be worthy, I should let them in and love them. According to her, I might even find someone who would make my shitty past worthwhile.

“It was because of that I became friends with Jody and Zack,” she said with one of her tiny laughs. “Despite my promise, when I arrived in New Haven I was still determined not to let anyone in. When Jody came to my door day after day, bound and determined to become my friend even though I was cold as a stone to her, I finally understood what my sister meant. Meeting the twins proved that not all people are the same; some of them do have goodness in them.”

With her head pressed against Taylor’s chest, she counted his heartbeats as she remembered the talk she and her sister had on her last night in California. For the longest time she thought the people her sister referred to were her two best friends, but in that painful and yet oddly perfect moment, she realized that Taylor was the one. Even though Jody and Zack had showed her that people weren’t all bad, only Taylor made all of that worth something.

For a few minutes, the only sound between them was Taylor’s rapid breathing. With her eyes fixed on him, Emily analyzed his features. He looked like a caged tiger—stunningly beautiful and yet deadly with rage. The eyes that refused to look down at her held a disgusted look that, when combined with the insecurity nurtured by a mother who didn’t want her and a boyfriend who didn’t value her, made her cringe and doubt her decision to tell him the story.

During the days when she’d thought about how to tell him, she never considered what might happen afterwards. Now that Taylor was obviously slipping away, the idea of losing him made her breath catch in her throat and tears sting her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have told you all of that,” she finally mumbled, moving away from his arms and sitting on the opposite corner of the couch.

He looked confused, horrified and hurt at the same time. “What . . . why not?”

“You’ve changed, after I told you about California you changed.” Her hands were hidden deep within her palms, and her chest compressed with unshed emotion. “You stopped looking at me and you were barely touching me, and I get it. An abusive mother is sad and awful, but I was stupid to stay in that house after he cheated and even more stupid for not locking the bedroom door. I don’t blame y—”

“Emily stop.” His stern voice interrupted her. Taylor closed his eyes and fists as his breathing became more agitated. “First of all, I forbid you to think that any of that was your fault, because it wasn’t.” He shook his head, frustrated at his own behavior, before opening his eyes again to look deep into hers. “Secondly, I’m sorry for not looking at you and not holding you strongly enough, but I’m so fucking angry that I want to kill him, Ems,” he continued, “I want to find that little shit and make him suffer so badly that he’ll thank me when I finally rip his throat apart with my bare hands, and besides— ”

The pained look in his eyes made tears escape from hers. She could see that he was doing his best to control himself, but his heavy breathing and the shaking of his clenched fists betrayed him. She wanted to touch him and relieve his agony, but she didn’t know how.

“What?” she asked.

The look on his face deepened and, once again, he closed his eyes. When he answered, his raspy voice came from between clenched teeth. “I don’t want to be like
him
or the boy in high school. I don’t want to impose by touching you, and I’ve been doing it since we met. I’m so sorry.”

His words caught Emily by surprise. The few tears that were escaping her eyes became streams that rolled down her cheeks. “No . . . Tay, look at me.” She reached for his hands and held them in hers until he opened his eyes and looked at her.

They stared deeply at each other for a long time. As Emily searched for words to explain how different he was, she moved very slowly towards him and reclaimed her previous spot on the cushion between his opened knees. However, his arms hesitated in wrapping themselves around her.

“You are not like them. Not by far, Taylor.” Her words were filled with emotion and honesty. “As I said, the twins showed me people are not all bad, but it was you who made the past mean something other than pain. From that first bump in the shin you gave me at Yale, your touch has been like therapy and medicine mixed together. The way you touch me, your hugs, those little kisses on the top of my head and the way you held me as I talked, they make me feel safe and cared for in a way I have never felt before. You can’t begin to understand how much it means to me, Tay.”

“You’re sure?” he asked her, his voice and eyes filled with doubt.

The answer she gave him was a major roll of eyes and a vigorous nod. He took full advantage of the green light and threw his arms around her, and crushed her to his chest. With a huge smile that gave his megawatt one a run for its money, she hugged him around the neck and rested her head on top of his shoulder.

They sat like that, entwined in each other’s arms for so long that time almost lost meaning. In the silent comfort of the other one’s embrace, they were finally able to relax and push the painful feelings to the side.

“I believe you owe me a story,” she teased.

“Yes ma’am, I believe I do.” He chuckled and delivered yet another light kiss to her head. “You’re not too tired to hear it now?”

“Nope . . . and even if I was, I would never tell you.”

He laughed and angled his head down to look at her. “You’re that curious?”

“Nope,” she lied, with a wicked grin that made him scrunch up his eyes at her. They both laughed. “I just really like it here,” she continued, nuzzling the spot where his neck met his shoulders.