Exile's Song (41 page)

“I can tell you are uncomfortable discussing this, and I don’t know quite why.”

“Well, I have never discussed virginity with a woman my own age, and it feels really odd. You aren’t embarrassed?”

“Should I be? It isn’t like I don’t know about sex, Mikhail. I mean, I’ve been to University,” she added playfully.

He laughed, throwing back his head so the fire glowed against his golden hair. “Of course! You are a sophisticated woman, and I am a backwoods yokel.”

“Don’t be silly! You are clearly intelligent, and that is what really matters.”

He smiled and gave a little sigh. “Yes, I am the clever one in my family, which is perhaps why my father and I do not get along. The Old Man is very suspicious of clever people.”

“People like my father, you mean.”

“Precisely!”

“Why? I have the impression that your father and mine were friends once, a long time ago.”

“They were, indeed. But my father was always in Lew Alton’s shadow, and he resented it. That is my own guess, not anything that I know for certain. My father never anticipated holding the Alton Domain, and he got it because your father left Darkover, so he has always felt that he got second prize, as it were. And you coming back has upset his cart a bit. Please, try to be patient with him. He is a good man, but he is very set in his ways, old-fashioned as they are.”

Margaret was not entirely sure she knew what he meant by old-fashioned, but she discovered she wanted to please Mikhail. It was a surprising feeling because, other than with her musicology, she had never wanted to please someone, not since she was a child and had felt rejected at home. “I will do my best. But you still haven’t finished explaining this Jeff person, who is my uncle once removed, or my cousin, or both. Are all Darkovan families this complicated?”

“Mostly they are, yes. Remember, we have been intermarrying for generations, so all the Domains are connected to one another by blood, as well as by loyalties. Thank you for being willing to be patient with my father. I know how trying he is, but he is completely devoted to Darkover, and that sometimes makes him narrow-minded.” He gave her a wide grin, as if they were partners. “Where was I?”

“You had gotten as far as Cleindori and Arnad.”

“They had a child, another Damon Ridenow, named after his grandfather, who was later adopted and taken to Terra, where he was called Jeff Kerwin, Jr., after Cleindori and Arnad were murdered by some fanatics who could not see that it did not matter whether a Keeper was virginal or not.”

“How sad.”

“It was worse than sad! It was stupid and tragic!” He was outraged, as if the event had just happened.

“Yes, I can see that.”

“Some years later, Jeff returned to Darkover and discovered who he was. He found he had very strong
laran
and went to Arilinn to be trained, but he kept the name he had grown up with. Because of his descent from the earlier Damon, he was the legal heir to the Alton Domain. He renounced that claim in favor of your father, because he wanted to remain in Arilinn. After the Sharra Rebellion, when your father left Darkover to become our Senator, he also renounced his claim to the Domain, because our laws state that the head of a Domain must reside on Darkover. That is how my father ended up with Armida. And he has been a good husbandman to it, and loves it, so your return makes him very uneasy. Technically, Jeff could assert his claim again, though he wouldn’t. Basically, it is all a terrible tangle, and your being here makes it worse.”

“I think I liked it better before you explained. It sounds as if there are too many people with a claim on the Alton Domain, doesn’t it? My brain feels battered.” She frowned. “Where does the Lanart name come from?” Margaret was trying to make some sense of all this geneology and failing miserably.

“The Lanarts are a cadet branch of the Alton line.”

“So, that’s why your father is a Lanart-Alton?”

“Yes.”

“But it sounds like this Jeff isn’t actually related at all—he is the grandson of that Jaelle and the older Damon Ridenow, not of his wife Ellemir Lanart. Is that right?”

“As far as it goes, yes. But Marcella Ridenow married Esteban Lanart, and their daughters were Callista and Ellemir and . . .”

“Stop!” she protested, suddenly very tired. “My brain won’t take another fact! I’ll just accept that this Jeff—Lord Damon Ridenow—is kind of my uncle, except he isn’t. If I didn’t know some of the kinship patterns in other cultures, I would think you were all crazy!”

“I never realized how complicated it was until I tried to explain it to you.” Mikhail paused. “Pity there is only one chair in here. My legs are getting tired.”
If she were anyone else, I’d just sit on the floor. But that wouldn’t be good manners. Funny. I only met her a tenday ago, but I feel as if I have known her for forever.

“I know. This is a funny room, isn’t it—so few furnishings? I still don’t understand why your father thinks I need to meet Lord Damon, though. For that matter, I don’t understand half of what has happened since I arrived.” She ignored the trickle of thoughts, which were just as puzzling as his explanation of the intricacies of the family. Why shouldn’t he sit on the floor?

“My Old Man is a stickler for protocol, when it suits him. So he has probably invited Jeff to come from Arilinn, to observe all the proprieties, and as a disguise for his actual intention.”

“And what might that be?”

“To marry you off to one of my brothers as quickly as possible.”

“Your brothers? Not you?”

“My father tries not to think of me whenever possible, except when he orders me to do something I don’t wish to. As I said, we have not been close since Lord Regis made me his heir. So he and Mother would want you for Gabriel or Rafael.”
I am not even considered—I am the outsider. If Regis had not had me educated, perhaps it would have been different. The Old Man doesn’t trust me. Damn!

“Why?” Margaret could understand the logic in Regis Hastur making one of his sister’s sons his heir, until he had children of his own. With the Darkovan obsession with keeping the Domains intact, anything else would have been thought insane.

“I’m the youngest.”

“But you are my age or thereabouts! So your brothers are older and still unmarried? Isn’t that rather unusual?”

Mikhail almost scowled. It made his face look strong and interesting, rather than otherwise. “It is practically a scandal, if you must know. Every time I go to Thendara, Lady Linnea has a sweet girl of good family just panting to meet me, or Regis tactfully suggests I might wish to meet this lass or that. I have been hunted by women most of my life, for as long as I was Regis’ heir, for my position or potential one. It has given me a very poor opinion of them, because I never know if I am being sought for who I am or for my connections. And if anything happened to Gabe and Rafael, I’d have also inherited the Alton Domain. Now that you are here, everything has changed.”

“Do you want the Domain?”

He gave a shrug. “I know it is difficult for you to understand, because our ways are extremely complex— even for me, and I have known all these stories since I could toddle. Regis vowed that he would give his regency to a child of Javanne’s, and I was chosen over my older brothers. Uncle Regis trained me in statecraft and a great deal more.”

“What do you mean—more?”

“Regis got the regency almost by accident. A lot of things happened that no one anticipated, and when the dust settled, he was all that was left. So he wasn’t trained to the job, and he didn’t want that to happen to me. My father was none too pleased since Regis made me learn a lot of things that were not Darkovan. I’ve read a lot of Terran history and philosophy because Regis felt it was important. My father thought it was all a lot of nonsense.”

“But it didn’t work out.”

Mikhail shook his head, and shifted from foot to foot. “Regis found Linnea, and they had children, so while I am technically the heir, because Uncle Regis has not officially made his eldest son, Danilo, the heir yet, the plain fact is that I am a man trained to rule, but I don’t have a kingdom. And my very existence is bothersome. There is too much potential power in my hands, and it makes people—not just my father—very uneasy.”

“Well, why hasn’t Regis Hastur fixed things—made his son the heir? It seems pretty untidy to me!”

He chuckled. “That’s a good word for it. I don’t know why Regis hasn’t made Dani his heir. He has not consulted with me, and it would be very impolite to ask. My uncle is not a man who reaches decisions quickly. But if anything should happen to him, I would be the designated regent, and if anything happened to my father and brothers, I would have a real claim to the Alton Domain. Well, I would have had, before you showed up. It is about the balance of power, Marguerida. I don’t particularly want the regency any more, and I never really think about the Alton Domain because it is such a remote possibility. But no one, especially my father, believes that. They imagine I am just longing to be backed into the throne or the Domain. They have no idea what I really want.”

Margaret watched him. She liked his candor and his sense of humor and the way he kept his thoughts to himself, except when something leaked out. And she could sense his passion for Darkover. He was, she decided, a disciplined and admirable man, totally unlike anyone she had ever met before. “And what might that be?”

“To go off-world and see other places. Regis promised me he would arrange it, after young Danilo was made the official heir. He understood, because he always wanted to go to the stars himself but he couldn’t. I don’t want to stay here and marry a nice girl and father a bunch of children—even though I know that is my duty. It makes me feel like . . .”

“Like a stud animal?”

Mikhail blushed, and Margaret realized she had hit the mark. “That sums it up nicely, yes. I’ve read a few Terranan novels, and I know about romance. Let me tell you, there is no romance on Darkover, at least among the families of the Domains. We don’t marry for love, and often we don’t even meet our spouses until the wedding day. Well, there have been a few exceptions, but they only make it worse because they tend to muck matters up. Your father and Majorie Scott, for instance, are held up as a bad example of what happens when people fail to do their duty!”

“Oh. Was it romantic? You see, I don’t know anything about that. My father never mentions her, and neither does my stepmother.”

“I’m not sure, but it seems to have been something quite dramatic. The usual way, until my generation, has been that the parents arrange a good match, and that is that. Mother married Father when she was fifteen, and she had only seen him twice! And she didn’t have a thing to say about it. Sometimes love happens—I know that Jeff really loved Elorie, his wife. She died and none of their children survived. The entire idea of romantic love is regarded as . . . rather peculiar here. Children are what matters most.”

“It all sounds very impersonal to me. Not that I am any fancier of romance myself—I’ve read a few novels, and I thought them rather silly. And Darkover isn’t that different from a lot of other worlds because arranged marriages are common in some places. But not for children, I think. For power and property.”

“That, too. The Domains have run Darkover for generations, and they don’t see any reason to change things.”

Margaret fell silent for a moment. “Would I like your brothers?”

“Gabe is the Old Man all over again, stolid and forthright and very sure of himself.” Mikhail made a face. “We try to avoid one another.”

“And Rafael?”

“He loves to hunt and is devoted to horse breeding.”

“Neither of them sound like they would be suitable for me.”

“You don’t mean you are seriously considering . . .”

“What does it matter to you either way?”

Miknail considered her question, his face thoughtful and a little perturbed. “I don’t think I would want you to be unhappy. You seem like a . . . well, you aren’t like anyone I ever met before. You are smart, and you don’t hide it. You are educated and know about ‘Russian novels’ and kinship on places I’ve never heard of. I think being married to either Gabe or Rafael would be pretty miserable for you. Gabe couldn’t stand to have a woman who was more intelligent than he was, and Rafael isn’t much of a talker.”
And you are too independent, too much like me. Why couldn’t you have been ugly and stupid! It would make everything much easier.

Margaret felt an imp of mischief seize her. “So why not you?”

Before he could think of a reply, they both tensed, as if some alien presence had entered the library. Margaret could feel something stirring and after a moment she knew it was not in the room, but somewhere nearby in the castle. The walls prevented her hearing any voices, but she knew that an argument was occurring, and a fairly vigorous one at that.

“Damnation!”

“What?” Margaret asked.

“I think the Old Man and the
leronis
are having a shouting match. I wonder why?”
The old fool. Why pick a fight with Istvana?

“I suspect I am the cause, Mikhail.” She gave a great sigh. “Your father wants me to go to Armida, and Istvana wants me to go to her Tower for training—and neither of them cares what I want!”

“And what do you want, kinswoman?”

She could feel him distancing himself from her, and it left her feeling more alone than she ever had before. “I don’t really know anymore. Things are so muddled. Part of me wants to leave immediately, but another part wants to remain on Darkover. I don’t really have any skills for living here—what would I do, become a farmer or an innkeeper? No one on Darkover needs a music scholar, do they? I don’t really want to marry, which seems to be the main occupation of women here, unless they become Renunciates.”

“You could try mushroom farming,” he answered, and she caught a glimpse of a twinkle in his blue eyes. “I don’t think that takes any special skills.”