Expecting the Boss's Baby (10 page)

A long silence followed. “I thought you might like some cookies.”

Michael glanced up to see his wife in the doorway. His chest tightened, and he was filled with a
dozen opposing emotions. Lord, what a sight for sore eyes. He tossed his pencil on his desk and stood. “Come in. I thought you were Legal. Those guys are doing a bang-up job, but I’ve had it up to the gills with them today.”

“Getting close?” she asked, walking toward him with a small bag in her hand.

Michael rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “Don’t ask. Did I hear you say something about cookies? What have you got in that bag?”

“I’m assuming lunch was coffee.”

“You assume correctly,” he said and looked her over from head to toe. She looked all shiny and polished in a black dress and stockings, yet very pregnant. He felt a strange yearning sensation. Looking at her reminded him how much he’d missed her. They hadn’t made love as often because he’d been gone so much. There was a strained quality between them caused, he knew, by his absence, but he couldn’t change it. Not now, anyway. “You look beautiful,” he told her. “You look more pregnant every day.”

“Which brings me to the bag,” she said, giving it a gentle shake.

“Cookies?”

“And Cupcake,” she said with a lopsided smile.

Curious, he took the bag and looked inside. Beside the cookies something was nestled in tissue paper. He pulled it out and looked at a black-and-
white photo in a picture frame. The photo was an ultrasound. The ultrasound he’d missed. Michael swore. “I missed it.” He swore again. “It was a week ago, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Kate said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did,” she said. “I used several different modalities, including a note on the refrigerator.”

He looked at her calm expression and didn’t know how to respond. “I would have expected anger.”

She glanced away and thought for a moment. “If anything, I was more hurt than angry. But to be brutally honest, I feel pretty lucky. I got to see Cupcake move, and suck on a thumb. I got to count fingers and toes. You’re the one who missed out. I brought you the picture on the off-chance that sometime you’ll look up from your paperwork, and it might make you smile.”

Her words were soft and the gesture sweet, but her honesty ripped at him. It wasn’t his goal to hurt her. “I apologize.”

She gave a slight wince. “Apologize to yourself.”

His chest tightened. She hadn’t seemed so distant from him in a very long time. “Why did you bring the cookies and the photo to the office?”

“To remind you that you are more than CG Enterprises.” She bit her lip and hesitated. “I can’t make you share yourself with me, although God
knows I wish I could. I can’t make you want to be with me. For that matter, I can’t make you want me.” She placed her hand over her full abdomen and chuckled. “Especially now. The only thing I can do is remind you every now and then that life is more than work and so are you…and I hope someday you’ll see it too.”

Again her calmness bothered him. He almost preferred her in-your-face demands. She had retreated from him. He moved toward her. “You have this all wrong. I still want you as much as I—”

She shook her head as if she were embarrassed. “I understand,” she said. “I’m
big
now.”

Michael pulled her into his arms. “Dammit Kate, don’t put words in my mouth. I know what I want and I want you. You being pregnant with my baby just multiplies the feeling. Do you have any clue how sexy it is knowing I helped put that baby in you? If I weren’t afraid of hurting you, I’d show you on that desk right now.”

He kissed her at the same time he deliberately placed his hand on her belly. Roiling with too many emotions, he took her mouth, hard. A moment passed and he felt a trace of wetness on his cheek, then tasted a salty tear. He pulled back and saw the tears on her cheeks, and he had the sinking godawful sense that he was going to lose her.

T
hree weeks later Michael sat in his office at six o’clock at night. He was nearing the end of negotiations, he could feel it. He just hadn’t quite figured out how to get a little more leverage for CG in this deal. The shark had already made surprising concessions.

The phone rang and he narrowed his eyes at it. He almost chose not to answer it, but thought of Kate. She only had three weeks until her due date and he damn well wasn’t going to miss the birth of their child.

“Hawkins here,” he said.

“Hawkins is supposed to be
here,
” Kate said.

The pseudo-snooty tone in her voice made him smile. Since the day she’d visited him in his office, there was still a slight uneasiness between them, but it hadn’t stopped him from making love to her. Michael was determined to remind her frequently that she belonged with him.

“I’m nearing the end of this,” he told her.

“Yes, but the end is not going to happen tonight. I need you to come home now,” she said.

His chest tightened. “Is anything wrong?”

“We discussed this. You told me if I need you to come home for any reason all I have to do is ask. I’m asking.”

“I want to know the reason,” Michael said, wondering if he would be making a trip to the hospital tonight.

“You will when you get home,” she told him, and hung up on him.

Michael pulled the receiver away from his ear and stared at it in surprise. The woman had hung up on him. She’d never done that before. Pique warred with worry. He replaced the receiver in the cradle, grabbed his jacket and headed out the door. Providing his wife wasn’t ready to give birth, he planned to have a little discussion about phone etiquette with her as soon as he arrived home.

As he pulled into the driveway of their new home, he noticed the lights on the Christmas tree were illuminated. It gave him a warm feeling knowing Kate was waiting for him, but at the same
time he told himself not to count on her. He secretly wondered if she might leave him if he lost the company. He rejected the notion, but a doubt remained, bothering him like a sore tooth.

Pulling into the garage, he stopped and got out. He frowned when he looked through the kitchen door and saw darkness. His trickle of worry turned to a stream. He pushed open the door. “Kate?”

“Surprise!” a group of voices chorused. The light flashed on and Michael gaped at the small group before him. He saw the head of personnel and his wife, two guys from the legal department, Dylan and a redhead, Justin and Kate. It took him a full moment before he remembered it was his birthday. After his mother died, he hadn’t celebrated it much because it fell so close to Christmas.

Kate smiled and stepped forward. “Happy Birthday, Michael.”

“How did you—?”

“You forgot it was your birthday, didn’t you?” Kate asked, shaking her head. “This makes me feel a little better about the ultrasound,” she murmured under her breath.

Justin walked up to join in. “Your wife here looks like she’s about to pop.”

Michael slid his arm around Kate. “Yeah, she looks beautiful.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kate’s lips twitch. “I’m providing my husband with a tax exemption,” she said, speaking Justin’s language.
“By the way, Michael and I have been discussing names and we’re thinking of using yours if it’s a boy.”

Justin’s expression was a mixture of surprise and bewilderment. “Is that so?”

“Yes, we’re also considering you as a candidate for godfather.”

Justin’s eyes grew wide. “Godfather!”

“Yes. Michael said you might be reluctant, but I told him I have this feeling you secretly love children.”

Justin looked like he’d been poleaxed. The sight was so comical Michael couldn’t prevent a chuckle.

Kate glanced up at Michael with a secret gleam in her eye. “Excuse me while I get you something to drink.”

“Godfather,” Justin repeated after she left and cleared his throat. “I may not be the right guy for the job. No offense, Michael, but I don’t like kids. I didn’t even like being a kid when I was one. Maybe Dylan—”

Dylan walked into the conversation, eyeing Justin with suspicion. “Maybe Dylan what?” he interjected.

Justin tugged at his collar. “I was just suggesting some alternatives for the godfather of Kate and Dylan’s baby.”

“Me?” Dylan asked.

“Hey, I took a turn with the best-man thing. It’s your turn now.”

“It can only be my turn to be best man if you get married.”

Justin shook his head adamantly. “Absolutely—”

“Sorry I’m late,” a blond woman said as she entered the room and laid eyes on the three men and the redhead standing next to Justin. Her gaze lingered an extra second on Justin before she looked back at Michael. “Happy birthday.”

Michael frowned, unable to recognize her instantly. There was something familiar about her.

“The cookie girl,” Justin said.

“Alisa Jennings,” Michael said, feeling a pang of nostalgia. “How did—?”

Alisa reached forward and gave him a quick, warm hug. “Your wonderful wife. We met just before your wedding. We performed a little mission impossible work to get some photos of you copied.”

“Photos?” he echoed.

“For the wedding reception,” she said, then laughed. “Just like a guy. You must not even have noticed.”

For the life of him, Michael couldn’t remember seeing pictures at the brief wedding reception. He’d been too busy keeping an eye on Kate to make sure she didn’t run.

Dylan stepped forward and kissed Alisa’s cheek. “I heard you were engaged,” he said smoothly.

She turned cool. “I was,” she said. “I’m not now.” She appeared to glance over his shoulder at the redhead behind him. “Alisa Jennings,” she said. “Lovely dress.”

“Thank you. I’m Vanessa.”

“And you,” Alisa said, turning to Justin. “I hear you’re spinning straw into gold with the stock market.”

“Slight exaggeration,” he assured her in a rare humble moment. “Did you bring any cookies?”

She lifted her hands. “Fresh out.”

“What are you doing in St. Albans?” Michael asked.

“I’m a translator for a company performing a merger with a French company.”

“And your art?” Dylan asked.

She hesitated. “In my spare time,” she said, and Michael noticed she didn’t meet Dylan’s gaze. “I need to thank your wife for inviting me,” she told Michael.

“She’s probably at the bar fixing me a drink.”

Alisa smiled. “You got lucky,” she said and headed for the bar.

“I think I’ll get a drink, too,” Vanessa said.

“Great legs,” Justin said with a sigh after the women left. “I have to say the cookie girl has grown up very nicely.”

Dylan stared after her.

Justin nudged him. “Hey, didn’t you two have a puppy-love thing?”

Dylan nodded. “Teenage crush. We met again briefly while we were in college.”

“Oh really?” Justin said, his tone full of innuendo.

“Can it, stock stud,” Dylan said in a rough voice, surprising Michael.

“Here are the photos,” Alisa called from the other side of the room. “On the buffet.”

Curious, Michael made his way to the buffet. Arranged on top stood a collection of photos of him as a child. An odd assortment of emotions hit him as he studied them. In most of them, he looked lost. He remembered feeling lost and trapped. He remembered how helpless he’d felt when other people made life-changing decisions for him without his consent.

“Cute guy, huh?” Kate said from behind him.

Frowning, he shrugged and turned away. “I guess.”

He felt her studying him. “You surprised me with this,” he said.

“That was the idea,” she said with a mock-solemn nod. “A
surprise
party.”

“I’ve never done much celebrating on my birthday,” he told her.

“Then I guess we have a lot of making up to do. We can start with the cake. Think about your wish.” She guided him over to the table where the
cake was lit with candles. “Wish fast, the candles are melting on the cake.” She turned to the small crowd. “Time to sing.”

Surrounded by friends singing a slightly off-key rendition of the birthday song, Michael stood in front of a cake decorated with white frosting that said Happy Birthday Michael.

He felt incredibly silly. And heaven help him, he felt special. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this way. He felt almost like that kid he’d seen in those photos on the buffet. Funny how a little surprise birthday party could throw a grown CEO for a loop.

Later, after the guests left and he and Kate had gone to bed, he watched Kate as she slept. Although she was uncomfortable, she tended to fall asleep quickly these days. She just didn’t stay asleep. Restless and unwilling to wake her, he carefully rose from the bed and wandered into the den. He turned on the Christmas tree lights.

Seeing them warmed him. Most everything Kate did to the house seemed to warm him. Everything except the photos. He walked back to the buffet and looked at each of the photos again. They disturbed him. He opened a drawer in the buffet and began to put them away.

“Why don’t you like them?” Kate asked from behind him, catching him by surprise.

He slowly turned. “You walk quietly considering your—”

“—girth?” she supplied wryly.

“I was going to say your stage of pregnancy.”

She walked to his side with a slight waddle that amused him, but he kept that to himself.

“Why don’t you like the photos?”

“I remember how I felt then,” he said, looking at another picture. “Helpless, hopeless, trapped. I hated it.”

“Every minute?”

He shrugged. “A lot of minutes.” He walked toward the Christmas tree and picked up a sprig of mistletoe from an end table. Kate had put it all over the place. She’d said Christmas was for kissing.

He saw her gather the pictures and again walk/waddle toward him. “Not every minute. Look,” she said, lifting up a photo of him shooting a foul shot. “What do you see?”

He glanced at it. “A gangly teenager passing the time in a drafty gym.”

She shook her head. “I see something else. What are you looking at?”

He glanced again, still idly messing with the mistletoe in his hand. “The basket. What else would I be looking at?”

“Look at your eyes, how focused they are. You look like you could shine a laser beam between you and that basket. I bet you made it.”

“Yeah. So?”

“So even then you had incredible focus. That
focus is part of the reason you’re so successful today.”

He conceded her point. “Okay.”

“What about this one?” she asked, showing a picture of him holding a certificate for winning the high math award in fourth grade. “Too tough for a smile, but you can still see the pride.” She pulled out the lone picture with his mother. “This is my favorite. See how her arms form a circle of love around you?”

It was strange, but it hurt to look at that picture. “She died and the circle of her arms couldn’t protect me.”

“No, but she gave you something that helped make you the guy who gave Harold Grimley chocolate chip cookies, and the man who donates computers and hires the home for unwed teenage mothers for off-site contract computer work.”

His chest grew tight and achy. Her eyes searched his like that laser she’d mentioned earlier, and he felt it shining a light on his dark soul.

“The reason I like these pictures is they show the makings of the man you’ve become, but I don’t have to leave them out if they bother you. Putting them away won’t take those parts away from you. They just show a few of the reasons I love the boy you were and the man you are.”

Michael felt as if a bomb was going off inside him. He swallowed hard over a lump in his throat.
He hadn’t expected a declaration of love from her. He felt unworthy of it.

“Why do you love me? I’m the Tin Man. No heart, remember?”

“I may have had a choice at one time, but I can’t not love you now. When I look at you, I see much more than the Tin Man.” Her eyes grew shiny with unshed tears. “I just hope that someday you’ll feel safe enough with me that you can share all of you with me.”

His chest clenched so tight he could hardly breathe. He pulled her against him and swore. “Kate, I don’t deserve you. But I sure as hell am not giving you up.” Remembering the mistletoe he’d nearly crushed in his hand, he lifted the greenery above her head and kissed her.

The following day, Kate felt distracted as she conducted a tutoring session at the home for unwed teenage mothers. She was worried about Michael. His identity was so tied up with the company that she feared what might happen if he lost it. She wasn’t worried about money or him having a job. She was worried about how the takeover was affecting his heart because try as he might to believe he didn’t possess a heart, Kate knew he did.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Kate said to Tina, who was now the mother of a baby boy. “Let’s decorate the tree.”

Tina nodded in agreement. “I brought the ladder
and lights down from the attic this morning. Let me go get the ornaments. I’ll be right back.”

Kate walked into the formal living area and approved the tall Fraser fir. Rubbing her lower back, she walked around it, deciding which side should face the window. She carefully got down on her hands and knees and adjusted the tree stand, then slowly rose. She felt the baby move and touched her stomach. The movements always made her smile.

Humming “O Little Town of Bethlehem” she unraveled a string of lights from one of the boxes and laid it out on the floor. She unraveled a second and eyed the ladder. Michael would kill her if she climbed it, but she felt perfectly balanced. A few steps up wouldn’t hurt, she told herself.

Taking one of the strings of lights, she climbed two steps and paused. “Seems sturdy,” she murmured, and climbed two more. Leaning to the side, she looped the strand around the top branches. The sticky branches didn’t immediately cooperate, so she learned a smidge further.

She heard a gasp behind her. “Mrs. Hawkins!” Tina cried.

Kate whipped her head around at the sound of Tina’s distress and lost her perfect balance. She shifted her feet to try to regain her equilibrium, but she slipped and felt her feet fall out from under her. She crashed downward on her side.