Expecting the Rancher's Heir (10 page)

If they pulled out of the investment group because of her pregnancy, it would be their loss. There were
probably several other townspeople who would readily take their place and reap the rewards of investing in Jarrod Ridge. And if not, the family could pick up the slack themselves.

Feeling slightly better, she sighed. If only she could resolve her feelings for Shane that easily. But making a rational choice to change your attitude about something was far easier than trying to change how you felt about a person.

There was no way around it and no way to stop it. She loved Shane with every fiber of her being and always would.

 

“Cactus, this is the worst meat loaf I've ever tasted,” Shane complained, pushing his plate away.

The truth was, the meal could have been prepared by a gourmet chef and the results would have been the same. Everything he'd tried to eat for the past few days had tasted like an old piece of harness.

“It's been three days since you and that little gal parted ways and I swear you're in a worse mood now than you was when you first told me she wouldn't be around no more,” Cactus grumbled as he cleared the dinner table.

Shane sighed and tuned Cactus out as the old man continued his rant. He knew he was being un reasonable about everything with everybody. But he couldn't seem to stop himself. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and nothing he did seemed to relieve
the hollow ache that had settled in his chest when he walked away from Willow Lodge the other night.

“I'm sorry if I've been a little irritable,” he said, knowing there was no excuse for taking out his bad mood on Cactus.

“A little irritable?” The old man looked disgusted. “Boy, I've seen pissed-off grizzly bears with better attitudes than yours.”

Rubbing the tension at the base of his neck, Shane nodded. “I know. And I'm really sorry about that.”

“Well, knowin' and doin' somethin' about it are two different things.” Dishes clattered as Cactus dumped them into the sink. When he turned to face Shane, he pointed a wooden spoon at him. “Seems to me that if you're that miserable, you'd get your sorry hide back to town and see what you could do to patch things up with that gal.”

“It's not that easy.”

“Why ain't it?”

Shane wasn't surprised that Cactus thought it could be that easy. The old man saw things as black and white, right and wrong. If something went wrong, a person fixed it and moved forward. But some things just weren't that easy to repair.

“For one thing, I doubt that Lissa would open the door if I did go by her place.”

“Then you catch her out somewhere and talk to her,” Cactus shot back. “And if you have to get down on your hands and knees to tell her how sorry you are, then do it.”

“How do you know I'm in the wrong?” Shane asked, feeling a bit affronted. He hadn't told the old man anything more than the wedding was off and Lissa wouldn't be visiting Rainbow Bend anymore.

“Far as women are concerned, it don't make no never mind who started it or what it's about,” Cactus said sagely. “To their way of thinkin' it's always a man's fault.”

“I'll take that under advisement,” Shane said, starting down the hall. He didn't need to hear more of Cactus's advice on relationships. He already knew who was to blame for his and Lissa's breakup.

Once inside his study, Shane closed the door and walked over to his drafting table to sit down. He'd tried for the past couple of days to work on the plans for the sheik's stable, but hadn't accomplished a damned thing. For a man accused of being ambitious and driven, he certainly wasn't living up to expectations.

Staring off into space, he couldn't stop thinking about Lissa and the shattered look on her pretty face when he hadn't been able to answer her questions. He had a good idea he knew exactly why he had agreed to the senator's request to help with the investigation and it wasn't something he was proud of. Accepting the job had been his way of running, of trying to escape what he knew now to be inevitable.

He took a deep breath. A man never liked admitting, even to himself, that he was a coward. But the truth of the matter was, he was just plain scared.
Lissa made him feel too much. She made him want to reach out for the things that he had told himself he would never have.

Propping his elbows on the drafting table, Shane buried his head in his hands. Somehow when he wasn't looking, Lissa had gotten past his defenses and he'd done the unthinkable. He'd fallen in love with her.

His heart pounding in his chest like a jackhammer, he rose from the drafting table to walk over and stare out the window at Rainbow Valley. He hadn't wanted history to repeat itself, hadn't wanted to go through the same hell his father had by loving a woman.

But with the exception of trying to drink her memory away, Shane found himself in the same position. He loved Lissa and was finding it damned near impossible to live without her.

As he watched an eagle make a soaring sweep of the valley, he thought about something Lissa had said when she broke off their engagement. She felt she'd taken a backseat to a man's work all of her life. Now he was doing the same thing her father had done. From what he could remember, Donald Jarrod spent every waking minute overseeing every aspect of the thriving enterprise. And instead of the preferential treatment some men would have shown their own kids, Jarrod had seemed to expect his children to work harder and do more than anyone else.

It was no wonder when Lissa heard his conversation with Senator Kurk that she had assumed he was as
driven and ambitious as her father. She had no way of knowing that he'd been running from himself and not striving to build his career.

He shook his head. Although he wanted to excel in his field, Shane had no intention of ever letting it take over his life. But he hadn't told her that the other night. Now, he wasn't sure she'd give him the chance.

But he had to try and he knew exactly where to start to make things right between them. Turning to walk over to his desk, Shane picked up the phone.

“Senator Kurk? This is Shane McDermott.”

“B
lake, is this a good time?” Melissa asked from the door of her brother's private office.

“What's up?” he asked, looking up from the papers on his desk that he and his assistant had been going over.

“There's something I need to tell you,” she said, walking into the room.

“I'll leave the two of you alone,” Samantha said as if sensing that Melissa's business with Blake was of a personal nature.

Of all of her brothers, Blake had turned out to be the most like their father. He was the consummate business man and had been the best choice to step in as CEO of Jarrod Ridge. He was also a bit intimidating.

Settling herself into the chair in front of his desk, she took a deep breath. “I wanted to let you know that I've ended my engagement to Shane.”

His concerned expression when he got up and walked around the desk encouraged her. “I'm sorry to hear that, Melissa,” he said, sitting down in the chair beside her. “Are you all right?”

The genuine concern she heard in his voice had her fighting back tears. “It's been a rough few days,” she admitted. “But I'm doing okay.”

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked.

“Not really.” She shrugged one shoulder. “Although I'm sure once the word gets out around the resort there will be a lot of talk and speculation. I just thought you needed to know before that happens.”

Blake nodded. “I appreciate that, but I'm more concerned about your welfare than I am the rumor mill.”

“I hope you mean that, because I've made a decision I'm not entirely certain you'll be happy with.” She met his puzzled gaze. “I'm staying here in As pen.”

His complete confusion was written all over his face. “Where else would you go?”

“At first I thought it might be best if I went back to California to have the baby.” She stared down at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. Making the decision to place herself ahead of the resort was new to her and she only hoped her brother understood. “I know
some of the investors aren't going to look favorably on my being a single mother, but—”

“I couldn't care less if those people contribute another penny to Jarrod Ridge,” he interrupted.

Shocked at her brother's statement, she stared at him. “Really?”

He nodded. “They knew Dad would sell his own soul for this resort and its reputation. For years they've used that to hold us all hostage with the threat of withdrawing from the investors group. That ends now.”

His decisive tone left no doubt in her mind that Blake meant what he said. “It won't make a difference if they do stop investing in special events, will it?” She didn't think it would, but she wanted to be sure.

Blake laughed. “Not hardly. Our great great-great-grandfather started the investors group when he needed capital to build Jarrod Ridge. We've grown way beyond needing anyone else's money to do whatever we want with the place.”

“Then why hasn't the group been dissolved?” she asked, unable to understand why her father hadn't done so years ago.

“The same reason you were willing to give up your share of Jarrod Ridge and go back to California,” Blake said. “Dad was afraid of what disgruntled investors like Clara and Elmer might say against the resort.”

For the first time since walking into her brother's
office, Melissa felt some of her tension ease. “I take it you don't care what they say?”

“The locals aren't the ones keeping Jarrod Ridge going, nor do they make or break our reputation,” he said, grinning as he shook his head. “The tourists do that. We keep the townspeople afloat with the clientele we bring in. I seriously doubt they're so vindictive they would bite the hand that feeds them.”

“I hadn't thought of it like that.” Rising, Melissa hugged her brother. “Thank you, Blake. Our talk has helped me more than you can imagine.”

“That's what family is for, Melissa,” he said, returning to sit at his desk. “And I'm sorry things didn't work out with you and McDermott.”

“Me, too,” she said sadly as she left his office.

As she walked back to the spa, Melissa wondered why her father hadn't seen what Blake pointed out about the resort's importance to the town. Or maybe he had and used the fear of ruining the resort's reputation to manipulate and control his children. Either way, the next generation of Jarrods weren't going to have to live under the threat of other people's opinions.

But the resolution to that problem brought little relief. In fact, it only gave her more time to think about Shane and the incredible loneliness and heartache she'd felt since breaking off their engagement.

Lost in thought, she was halfway across the reception area when she realized her assistant manager
had called her name. “Is something wrong, Rita?” she asked, turning to face the woman.

“Ms. Jarrod, I'm afraid I've made another mistake with this afternoon's schedule,” Rita said, looking as if she might burst into tears. “I don't know how it happened, but we have a guest in the Green Room, waiting for a massage and there isn't a masseuse available. Could you take the appointment?”

Sighing, Melissa nodded as she headed for the Green Room at the back of the spa. “Not a problem, Rita. Just double-check before you book next time.”

In truth, she was glad to have something to take her mind off of how much she missed Shane. Anything was better than sitting in her office, thinking about all the things that could never be.

As soon as she opened the door to the dimly lit therapy room, the piped-in sound of a waterfall seemed to wash over her and caused her to catch her breath. She'd probably never be able to hear the sound again without thinking of Shane and the afternoon they'd spent together at Rainbow Falls.

Glancing at the massage table, she did a double take. There wasn't anyone there. The sound of the door being closed and the lock being secured had her spinning around to face whoever was in the room with her.

“Hello, Lissa.” The male voice was so low, so warm and intimate, it felt as if he caressed her, and it caused her heart to skitter to a complete halt.

“Shane, what on earth do you think you're doing here?”

The sight of him was both heaven and hell rolled into one. She'd missed him so much, but the thought that they'd never be together caused such emotional pain, it was all she could do to keep from crying out from its intensity.

“I told you the other night that our discussion wasn't over,” he said, advancing on her.

She quickly skirted the massage table to put it between them. “And I told you there wasn't anything left to say.”

Wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, he folded his arms across his wide chest and shook his head. “Maybe you don't have anything more to add, but I have plenty.”

Melissa closed her eyes and tried not to think about how wonderful it felt to be wrapped in those arms, to lay her head on that bare chest and have him hold her throughout the night. Opening her eyes, she shook her head. “Please, don't do this, Shane.”

“Don't do what, Lissa?” he asked calmly. “Explain why I agreed to help Senator Kurk with the investigation? Or don't tell you about the war I've been waging with myself about why I hesitated to answer your questions?”

Why was he doing this to her? Couldn't he see it was tearing her apart just being in the same room with him and knowing they could never have a future together?

“None of it matters, Shane,” she said, trying desperately to keep her voice from cracking. “You can't change, and I won't settle.”

“Yes, it does matter, angel,” he said, his deep baritone wrapping around her like a warm cloak.

Knowing that he wasn't going to leave her alone until she heard what he had to say, she pointed to his towel. “Do you really think this is the kind of conversation we should be having with you wearing nothing but that?”

“I don't have a problem with it.” He moved his hand to release the terry cloth where it was tucked at his waist, causing her to go weak in the knees. “But I can take it off if you want me to.”

“N-no,” she said hastily, holding her hand up to stop him. “The towel will be fine. Just tell me what you came here to say, then leave.”

He motioned toward the lounge chair in the corner. “This might take a while. Why don't you sit down?”

With her legs feeling as if they might not support her much longer, she conceded and walked over to lower herself onto the lounger. When he started to walk over to her, she shook her head. “You can say what you need to from over there.”

If he got any closer there was a good chance he would reach out and touch her. That was something she couldn't allow to happen. If he did, she knew for certain she'd lose every ounce of her resolve.

She watched him take a deep breath. The move
ment of his rippling abdominal muscles sent a shaft of longing straight through her. Quickly averting her eyes, she concentrated on his suddenly serious expression.

“First of all, I want you to know that I'm not like your father, Lissa. I'm not driven to work every waking minute.” He shook his head. “Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my career and I'm good at what I do, but that's just a part of my life. It's not all that I am.”

“That isn't the message you were sending the other night,” she interjected. “The way it sounded when you agreed to help with the congressional investigation, you couldn't wait to get started.”

He nodded. “I know that's the way it seemed, but I wasn't taking the job because I couldn't resist the chance to work. I took the job because I felt the need to run.”

It felt as if her heart shattered all over again and Melissa wondered how he thought his explanation was better than her assumption. “Y-you didn't have to…go to those lengths to get away from me,” she said, hating that she could no longer keep her voice steady. “All you had to do was tell me you'd changed your mind.”

“No, Lissa, I wasn't wanting to run from you,” he said softly. “I wanted to run from myself.”

Confused, she frowned. “I don't understand.”

“Let me tell you a story that might help clear things up,” he said. She didn't understand how that
was going to make his explanation any clearer, but she could see from his expression that he thought it was very relevant. “When my mom and dad got married and he brought her to Rainbow Bend, she told him she loved living there. And who knows? Maybe she did for a while.”

“Who wouldn't love living there?” she found herself asking.

“After a few winters of being stuck in the house with no way to get out of the valley for several weeks at a time, my mom found it intolerable.” He gave her a sad smile. “You know, I can't remember a night when she was still with us that I didn't lie awake listening to her beg my dad to sell the ranch or, later on, threaten to leave if he didn't.”

“Oh, Shane, I'm sorry,” Melissa said. “That's why you kept warning me about being snowbound, isn't it?”

He nodded. “I wanted you to know up front what you were getting yourself into.”

“Your mother wasn't from around here, was she?” she asked suddenly.

“No, she was from somewhere in Florida,” he said, looking puzzled. “But why does that matter?”

“Because she wasn't used to the type of weather we have here.” Melissa wasn't excusing the woman's behavior, but she was certain the differences in climates had to have come as quite a shock. “I grew up here. I'm used to deep snows and the difficulties that poses to traveling. She wasn't.”

Shane seemed to mull that over a moment before he nodded. “You might be right about that. But it doesn't excuse her from leaving her husband and son and never looking back.”

“You never saw her again?”

“No. I was notified a few years ago that she had been killed in a car accident.”

Melissa could understand a child not seeing their mother due to death. Her own mother had died of cancer when she was two and she'd known Margaret Jarrod only through the pictures her father had kept. But how could a mother willingly walk away from her child and never contact him again?

“How old were you the last time you saw her?” she asked.

“Nine.” He met her gaze head-on, and she could tell that he was still haunted by the abandonment. “But I actually lost two parents that day.”

“But I thought your dad didn't pass away until your last year of college,” she said, confused.

“His spirit was gone long before that,” Shane said, sighing heavily. “After he finally crawled out of the whiskey bottle and burned everything that hinted at a woman ever living in the house, he did two things for the rest of his life. He worked and slept. Beyond that, he didn't have a lot of interest in life.”

With sudden clarity Melissa knew exactly why her father had turned into a workaholic. He'd been trying to fill the void left by his wife.

“Did your father leave a picture of her for you?”
Her father hadn't been able to get rid of anything that had belonged to her mother.

“No, I barely remember what she even looked like.” Shane shrugged. “But I made a vow that I'd never put myself in the position for the same thing to happen to me. I wasn't going to give that kind of power over me to any woman.”

Afraid that his next revelation would be that he could never give her what she needed most—his love—she bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling a moment before she asked, “W-what does that have to do with you helping the senator?”

Shane walked over to kneel in front of her. “I was trying to run from the fact that I'd done the very thing I'd swore never to do, angel.”

Melissa closed her eyes and tried not to read anything into what he had just said. She couldn't bear it if it turned out she was wrong.