Fablehaven: The Complete Series (42 page)

Chapter 3

Extermination Procedures

The sky was nearly dark when Kendra and Seth entered the service station’s convenience store. Inside, one of the fluorescent bulbs was flickering, interrupting the harsh, even glow. Seth fingered a candy bar. Kendra turned around in a circle. “Where is he? We’re almost ten minutes late.”

“Play it cool,” Seth said. “He’ll be here.”

“You’re not in a spy movie,” Kendra reminded him.

Seth picked up the candy bar, closed his eyes, and smelled it from end to end. “Nope. This is the real thing.”

Kendra noticed the headlights of a battered Volkswagen van flashing in the parking lot. “Maybe you’re right,” she said, approaching the window. The lights flashed again. Squinting, she saw Errol behind the wheel. He motioned her over.

Kendra and Seth crossed the parking lot to the van. “Are we really going to drive away with him in that thing?” Kendra mumbled.

“Depends on how badly you want to get rid of the kobold,” Seth replied.

The creature had not caused any new commotion that day at school, although he had taunted Kendra with several knowing looks. The horrid imposter was reveling in his victory. He kept hanging around with her friends, and there was nothing she could do about it. Who knew what his next act of sabotage might be?

Kendra had continued to try to reach Grandpa Sorenson, and had repeatedly gotten the recorded message that the call could not be completed as dialed. Had he stopped paying his phone bill? Maybe he had switched telephone numbers? Whatever the cause, she had still not been able to speak with him to confirm whether Errol could be trusted.

Errol leaned across the van and pushed the door open. Once again he was wearing his rumpled, antiquated suit. Kendra and Seth climbed inside. Seth shut the door behind them. The motor was already running.

“Here we are,” Kendra said. “If you’re going to kidnap us, tell me now. I can’t handle the suspense.”

Errol put the van into gear and pulled out of the service station onto Culross Drive. “I’m really here to help you,” Errol said. “Although, if I had kids, I’m not sure I would want them climbing into a vehicle late at night with a man they’d just met, no matter what story he told them. But do not fret, I’ll deliver you safe and sound to your home before long.”

Errol turned onto a different street. “Where are we going?” Seth asked.

“Nasty vermin, kobolds, very tenacious,” Errol said. “We need to get something that will enable us to drive the interloper away permanently. We are going to steal a rare item from a wicked and dangerous man.”

Seth leaned forward on the edge of his seat. Kendra leaned back with her arms folded. “I thought you said you were a kobold exterminator,” Kendra said. “Don’t you have your own gear?”

“I have expertise,” Errol said, turning onto a new street. “Exterminating a kobold is a trifle more complicated than spraying your yard with chemicals. Each situation is unique and demands improvisation. Be glad that I know where to get what we need.”

They rode in silence for a few miles. Then Errol pulled off to the side of the road and switched off his lights. “We’re already here?” Seth asked.

“Fortunately, what we need is close by,” Errol said. He indicated a stately building half a block down the road. A sign out front read:

“We’re going to break into a mortuary?” Kendra asked.

“Are we going to steal a body?” Seth said, sounding too eager for Kendra’s liking.

“Nothing so morbid,” Errol assured them. “The owner of the mortuary, Archibald Mangum, lives on the premises. He owns a stylized figurine in the likeness of a toad. We can use the figurine to drive away the kobold.”

“He wouldn’t just lend it to us?” Kendra asked.

Errol smiled. “Archibald Mangum is not a kind man. In fact, he is not a man at all. He is a vampiric abomination.”

“He’s a vampire?” Seth asked.

Errol cocked his head. “Strictly speaking, I have never encountered an actual vampire. Not like you see in the movies, turning into bats and hiding from the sun. But certain orders of beings are vampiric in nature. These beings are probably where the notion of vampires originated.”

“So what exactly is Archibald?” Kendra pressed.

“Hard to say for certain. Most likely a member of the blix family. He might be a lectoblix, a species that ages swiftly and must drain the youth of others to survive. Or a narcoblix, a fiend capable of exerting control over victims while they are asleep. But given his residence, my best guess would be that he’s a viviblix, a being with the power to temporarily reanimate the dead. Like the vampires of legend, blixes connect with their victims through a bite. All varieties of blixes are highly uncommon, and here you are, with one just a few miles from your home!”

“And you want us to break into his mortuary!” Kendra said.

“My dear,” Errol said. “Archibald is away. I wouldn’t dream of sending you anywhere near his funeral home if it were otherwise. It would be far too perilous.”

“Will he have zombie guards?” Seth asked.

Errol spread his gloved hands. “If he is a viviblix, there may be a few reanimated corpses about. Nothing we can’t handle.”

“There has to be some other way to deal with the kobold,” Kendra muttered nervously.

“None that I know of,” Errol said. “Archibald will return tomorrow. After that, we can forget about procuring the figurine.”

The three of them sat in silence, looking down the street at the gloomy windows of the funeral home. It was an old-style mansion with a covered porch, a circular driveway, and a large garage. The lighted sign out front provided the only illumination besides the moonlight.

At last Kendra broke the silence. “I don’t feel good about this.”

“Oh, toughen up,” Seth said. “It won’t be so bad.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that, Seth,” Errol said. “Because you will have to go into the house alone.”

Seth swallowed. “You’re not coming with us?”

“Nor Kendra,” Errol said. “You’re not yet fourteen, correct?”

“Right,” Seth said.

“Protective spells guarding the home will prevent anybody over the age of thirteen from entering,” Errol explained. “But they neglected to make it childproof.”

“Why not protect it from everybody?” Kendra asked.

“The young enjoy an innate immunity to many such spells,” Errol said. “Creating enchantments to divert children requires greater skill than erecting barriers to foil adults. Almost no magic works on children under the age of eight. The natural immunity diminishes as they age.”

For the first time since entering the van, Kendra was amused. Seth looked as sober as she had ever seen him. No matter what the circumstances, it was always a pleasure to see him have to eat his words. He shifted in his seat and glanced at her.

“Okay, well, what do I do?” he said. The bravado had faded.

“Seth, don’t—” Kendra began.

“No,” he said, holding up his hand. “Leave the dirty work to me. Just tell me what to do.”

Errol unscrewed the cap of a small bottle. An eyedropper was attached to the cap. “First, we need to sharpen your vision. These drops will work like the milk you drank at Fablehaven. Tilt your head back.”

Seth obeyed. Errol leaned forward, placed a finger under Seth’s right eyelid to pull it down, and squeezed out a drop. Blinking wildly, Seth recoiled. “Whoa!” Seth complained. “What is that, hot sauce?”

“It tingles a little,” Errol said.

“It burns like acid!” Seth wiped tears from the afflicted eye.

“Other eye,” Errol said.

“Don’t you have any milk?”

“Sorry, fresh out. Hold still, it will only take a second.”

“So would branding my tongue!”

“Isn’t the first eye already feeling better?” Errol inquired.

“I guess so. Maybe I can just look out of one eye.”

“I can’t send you in there blind to the dangers you might face,” Errol said.

“Here, let me do it.” Seth accepted the eyedropper from Errol. With his untreated eye squinted almost shut, Seth put a drop on the eyelashes. Blinking, he grimaced and growled. “Of course, the one person who doesn’t need these is too old to help out.”

Kendra shrugged.

“I use the drops every morning,” Errol said. “You get accustomed to it.”

“Maybe after your nerves die,” Seth said, brushing more tears away. “What now?”

Errol held up an empty hand. His fingers fluttered, and a garage-door opener materialized. “Enter through the garage,” Errol said. “You will probably find the door from the garage to the house unlocked. If not, force it open. Once inside, to the left of the door, on the wall you will see a keypad. On top of the protective charms, the funeral home has a conventional security system. Press 7109 and then hit enter.”

“7109 enter,” Seth echoed.

“How do you know that?” Kendra asked.

“The same way I know Archibald is gone,” Errol replied. “Reconnaissance. I wouldn’t send Seth in there unprepared. What do you think I’ve been doing since I first contacted you?”

“How do I find the statue?” Seth asked.

“My best guess would be down in the basement. Access it by the elevator adjoining the viewing room. If you turn right after entering, you can’t miss it. You’ll be looking for a toadlike statue not much bigger than my fist. Very likely in plain view. Look in off-limits areas. When you find the figurine, feed it this.” Errol held up a dog biscuit shaped like a bone.

“Feed the statue?” Seth questioned doubtfully.

“Until you feed it, the figurine will be immovable. Feed the statuette, pick it up, bring it to us, and I will drive you home.” Errol handed Seth the garage-door opener and the dog biscuit. He also gave him a small flashlight, with the warning to use it only if necessary.

“We haven’t covered what I do if I run into the living dead,” Seth reminded Errol.

“You run,” Errol said. “Reanimated corpses are not particularly swift or nimble. You won’t have trouble staying ahead of them. But don’t take any chances. If you encounter any undead adversaries, statue or no statue, retreat to the van.”

Seth nodded gravely. “So just run, huh?” He did not sound fully satisfied with the plan.

“I doubt you’ll have any trouble,” Errol reassured him. “I’ve scouted this location thoroughly, and there has been no hint of undead activity. Should be a snap. In and out.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Kendra said.

“Don’t worry, I won’t blame you if my brain gets eaten,” Seth said. He opened the door and hopped out. “Although I can’t help it if you blame yourself.”

Seth jogged across the street and walked toward the lighted sign. A few cars came down the road toward him, and he averted his eyes from the bright headlights until they passed. On his way to the mortuary, Seth passed a small house that had been converted into a barber shop, and then a larger one that housed dental offices.