Face the Music (37 page)

“What?  How do you know?  Did he say something?”

I shook my head.  “No.  I just kind of figured it out.”

She frowned.  “Let’s go get a drink.  I’ll buy you a beer, and you can tell me about it.”

We went to a pub a few blocks from the university.  The place was loud and kind of dingy, but the people were friendly.  I got a light draft, Lauren, a virgin daiquiri, and we sat on an orange love seat next to a window.  “I can’t wait to have this kid,” she complained.  “There are so many things I can’t do.”

“It’ll be worth it,” I said, patting her enormous belly.  She looked like she was about to burst.  “Think of everything you have to look forward to.”

She laughed.  “Ah, yes.  Shitty diapers, midnight feedings…”

“Unconditional love.”

She wrinkled her nose and stirred her drink, a quiet smile forming on her lips.  “Yeah, that, too.  So tell me about this
Alicia
.”

I told her what I knew, which didn’t turn out to be a whole lot.

“That’s it?  J
ust because there’re pictures floating around on the internet doesn’t automatically make them a couple.”

“I know, but it makes so much sense.”  I told her about him kissing me and then running off.

“That is weird,” she agreed.  “But again, that doesn’t mean he’s
got a girlfriend.  This girl could be anything,
a friend, an ex-, you don’t know.  Besides, from what I saw at the poker party, he’s only got eyes for one girl.  And that would be you, my friend.  I’ve been around a lot of scheming, two-timing jerks, and I’m here to tell you that he doesn’t fit that profile.  He’s a good guy.”

“I don’t know.”  I sighed
and took a drink
.  “Thing
s are probably better this way,
us not getting involved.  Did you see the show last night?”

She shook her head.  “No.”

“You should see
his house,
Lauren
.  It’s huge, s
its on fifty acres.  I don’t have money or connections.  Hell, I don’t even have a real family.  What could
he possibly want from me?  I can’t offer him anything
.”  The truth hurt, but at least my eyes were finally open.

Lauren groaned.  “Oh, give me a break.  Don’t tell me you’re going to snub him just because he has a little money.  You’re better than that.  And
,
you have plenty to offer.”

I finished my beer and ordered another round.  “No, you don’t get it.  It’s not even about the money or the girlfriend, entirely.  It’s the life.  We’re too different.”  Cynthia had been right.  That fact alone made me want to vomit up my insides. 

Lauren got up.  “I’m going to put a song on the jukebox.  When I get back, I want to see you smiling.  No more moping, okay?”

***

It was nearly midnight by the time I got home.  I had a good buzz
on
and crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow.
When the alarm went off at six
,
I groaned and rolled over to
silence it
.  I closed my eyes for a just a few more seconds, which turned into several minutes, and I ended up getting to work late.

Deprived of my morning coffee, I wa
s really dragging by lunchtime.  I went to the snack bar
for a
Diet Coke.  Just
as I
was swallowing
,
someone knocked over a chair.  It slammed against the floor,
and
the
sudden
noise filled
the room.  It scared me, and when I sucked in a breath
,
s
oda went down the wrong
way
.
  I choked and dropped my cup, spilling my Coke.

Out of nowhere,
Chris was at my side, patting my back.  “Are you okay?”

I nodded and gasped for air
, pulling away from him
.

He grabbed a towel from the counter and
mopped
up the floor
.

“Thanks,” I muttered,
wiping my eyes and
turning to go
back to my room.  I didn’t look at h
im. 
I didn’t even want to talk to him.  I could feel his eyes boring a hole in my back as I walked down the hallway, and it wasn’t long before his footsteps
caught up
with
me. 

“Allie, wait up.”  He caught me at my room and followed me in, pulling the door
closed behind him.

I sat at my desk, and he stood in front of it, resting his hands on the edge and leaning down so that his
dark
eyes were leve
l with mine.  “You probably don’t want to hear this, but I’m sorry
.”

I pursed my lips together to keep from saying something I might later regret. 

“R
eally,” he said.
 
“
I never should
have said those things
.  I was rude
.”  He stood up and turned towards the door as someone ran by.  “Whatever you’ve got going on with Jake is your business, not mine.  It’s not like I’ve got any kind of claim over you.”

I snapped.  “Damm
it, Chris, I am NOT with Jake!  I never was.  If you would have bothered to ask before getting all pissed off I could have told you that.”  I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths to calm down.  “Jake and I are just friends.”

He let out a mocking snort.  “Right, Allie.  Have you seen the way the guy looks at you?”

His sa
rcasm me made me even angrier. 
“Sure he looks at me, and every oth
er woman who happens to pass by.  You think I don’t notice?
” 

“Not like with you.  Y
ou’re different.”

“Jake and I went out a few times, before I even met you,” I said through clenched teeth.  “It didn’t take long for me to see that he was the type of guy you just can’t take too seriously.  We don’t date anymore.  He wants to, that’s what you heard the other night, but I don’t.  I don’t feel that way about him
, and if you would have stuck around long enough you would have heard me tell him that
.”  I looked up to see if he was hearing me.

He didn’t look convinced.  “
Did he hurt you
?”

“What?”

His face reddened
,
and he looked at the wall over my head
.  His fists were clenched into tight balls
.  “
That night you two went out.
  How did you get hurt?”

“He was doing me a favor.”  I told Chris about my double date with Emily
and how I had invited Jake to come along, just in case
.  “
It’s a good thing he was there
, too
.
  I can’t even think about what would
have happened if..
.”
  My voice cracked, and I swallowed the knot that was
swelling
in my throat.

Chris turned white and fell into a desk.  “I wish I had known.”

“Don’t you see?
” I said.
 
“
Jake is not the bad guy here.”

“
I still don’t get it,” he said.  “
You say you’
re just friends, but you spent the night together
.
”

Sick of the accusations, I stoo
d up and leaned across my desk
.  “What is your problem?  Jake invited himself over and brought some movies.  He drank too much and
passed out
,
on-the-
couch
.”  I stressed each individual word.  “I don’t know why I have to
explain
myself to you! 
Why
are
you so jealous of
him
?”

He held up his hands. 
“I’m not
jealous.  Not like
you think
.  If I thought Jake could
make
you happy, I would
be
happy for you.  But
,
I’ve seen h
im around other women, and I know he’s not being faithful.  Not to mention
,
I thought he hurt you.
”  He
paused and looked at the floor.  “
I was
mad at you for not seeing it.”

“
I’m only going to
say this one more time
.
”  My voice was grave.
 
“
There is no me and Jake.  But
,
even if t
here were, why would you care?
”

He lifted his eyes to meet mine. 
“
I think y
ou deserve better.”
  He said it like it should have been obvious.

“Better? 
You mean someone more like you?
” 
I
almost laughed. 

“Well
,
yes, actually.”

We stared at each other, his eyes intent.

“You seem to have your perfect little life to go home to.  Why can’t you just leave me to mine?
”
I asked.

A ghost of a smile touched his lips.  “You saw the show?”

“Yeah,” I said coolly, sitting
back down in my chair.  “You’ve got it good
.
”

He took a deep breath.  “I do.  W
ell
,
at least I thought I did.  I used to think I
had everything.”  His eyes darkened
.
  “Turns out it’s just a big, empty house.”

“What about your so
meone back in Virginia, Chris?” 
Angry t
ears spille
d over and ran down my cheeks.  “How would she feel about you being here, saying these things to me?”

“My someone?” he repeated.  “Allie, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“
Allow
me spell it out for you. 
Alicia
? 
Does that ring a bell?”