Fae (11 page)

As we turned the corner to
the dining facility and I peered past the guard by the open
cafeteria door, I realized with a little bit of joy that we were
one of the first few people to arrive. First pulled out his blue
tag and scanned it under the blue lit screen by the door. The
screen flashed green. I'd never seen the blue one before yesterday,
but I guessed it had pretty far-reaching access if it opened the
secret doors to the Secret Place. I stepped up with my yellow tag.
Yellow for civilians. The screen flashed green, but gave out a
three beat ting. The guard leaned down to take a look. I stepped
out of his way with Meir leaning against my shoulder.

The guard nodded once and
said, "There's an update to your tag. Water and food rations are
reduced. Go to the counter at the back of the caf. to get your
tray."

"O...kay." I didn't know
what to say to that. It was bound to happen at some point. A dying
planet couldn't go on feeding everyone the same amount every day. I
wondered how all the soldiers would take it. I'd watched them eat
and a lot of them had very ravenous appetites.

I dug out Meir's yellow
tag and when the screen flashed green with the same three beat
ting, the guard let us pass. He didn't need to repeat himself. We
all knew what it meant.

A small crowd of soldiers
had formed behind us. I held Meir close to my side, but looked back
just as we passed inside the dining facility. The first soldier
behind us pulled out his purple tag. The screen flashed green, but
no three beat ting sounded off.

So the change hadn't been
for everyone. The soldier knocked my shoulder as he passed and I
almost lost my grip on Meir. Luckily, First was there to steady
me.

"What's going on?" I
said.

First pulled out a chair
from the table right by the door and guided Meir into it. Meir's
eyes continued to dart back and forth, searching for
something.

"Get your food, and
hurry," he said. "I'll tell you when you get back."

I gave Meir one last
glance to make sure he was okay and then hurried to the back
towards the only counter where a line was not forming. The dining
facility had already filled up with hundreds of soldiers, but all
of them were going to the main counter; the same counter I'd been
going to since I got here.

No one stood behind the
counter I went to now. No one was there to take food or dish it
out. A few trays sat on the top with a small, white box on each
one. I took two of them and headed back to the table by the front.
Soldiers glared at me as I passed and a chill crawled all over my
skin. I practically ran the last few feet.

I got the distinct feeling
it didn't matter what the Emperor had decided. I wasn't wanted
there.

My insides twinged when I
got back to our table and saw Meir hadn't moved an inch. His eyes
kept scanning the wall, looking for what I hoped he'd never see
again. I placed his tray in front of him and sat down in the seat
across from First.

"So what's going on?" I
asked as I opened Meir's box. A little pile of pills and a packet
of juice rested inside. "What is this?" I opened mine and saw the
same thing. I looked up at First.

He stared back unfazed and
unsurprised. "They've been steadily cutting back on the civilians'
rations since the drought began. I don't think it affected you
until now because Lastrini had high hopes that you might actually
be able to help. It appears his dislike for you, though, has
outweighed everything else."

I pinched one of the pills
between my thumb and forefinger. "But what are they?"

"Vitamins and calorie
tablets. Just enough to keep you alive."

I pushed my box aside and
sat back. I'd only just recently unhooked myself from the last
vitamin cocktail they'd concocted and this whole mess made me lose
my appetite. "So what is that Info Room really for?"

First sat back, matching
my body language all the way down to crossing his arms. The only
thing different between us was he still kept his shoulders hunched
forward and his head slightly down. "You know," he said.

Yeah, I did know. Control.
I'd felt it from the moment my foot touched the floor inside that
room. Those videos of the Emperor that played on every wall in The
Block that I'd seen but never understood, the ones always gently
recommending all civilians go to the IVRs to pass the time. Now I
knew it was so they could keep them compliant, and out of the
way.

And they'd done it to
Meir.

I looked at what was left
of Meir’s leg. They could have fixed him—surely the Soltakians had
the technology—but they hadn't been willing to try. In the end,
though, I couldn't really be mad at them. I was the one who'd
ignored Meir's entire existence for far too long. All because I'd
let a voice in my head dictate what was real.

Meir wasn't dead. He was
sitting right beside me. But with the blank look in his eyes and
the loose way his lips drooped, I knew he might as well have
been.

Meir picked up his box of
vitamins and crushed it in his fist. "What time is it?"

I leaned forward and
looked from Meir to First and back to Meir again. I put my hand on
his shoulder and squeezed, loving the way his warmth traveled from
his tunic to me. "Meir, it's nighttime. Please, tell me what's
wrong."

He slowly turned his head
to face me. He scowled, his eyes darkening over. After a few
moments, his scowl softened and his lips drooped. His eyes resumed
their searching as he grabbed a vitamin and forced it down his
throat.

I sighed, suddenly tired,
and looked away. So much for figuring everything out.

Meir's fist slammed down
on the table, tipping my box over and spilling vitamins onto my
lap. I pushed back my seat and his hand reached out for me,
grabbing my cloak and pulling me inches away from his face. "What
time is it? What is the weather like outside?
How many people are still alive?"

I knocked his hand away
and stepped back from the table. Three soldiers stepped forward.
Two of them grabbed Meir by his arms. Meir twisted and growled at
them, gnashing his teeth as I watched in horror.

"What's wrong with him?" I
asked.

One of the soldiers met my
gaze. His eyes hardened. "He's going through withdrawal. He never
should have been taken out of the IVR."

I stepped forward, ready
to fight them myself. I looked for First, but he seemed to have
disappeared. "He doesn't belong there."

"You're right," another
one of the soldiers said. She was a Ladeshian—I could tell by the
way I had to crane my neck up just to meet her gaze—but long and
wiry, not muscle-bound like most of them. "This piece of crap
Mamood should be rotting outside, not taking all our
food.

A low murmur went
throughout the dining facility. I looked around and saw to my
horror that everyone had stopped eating. Most had gotten out of
their chairs and were now inching closer.

Meir kicked his good leg
out. The soldiers lost their grip and he fell to the floor. I ran
to his side to help him up. He grabbed hold of my collar and shook
me. "What time is it?!" he screamed as spit flew in my
face.

Two of the soldiers ripped
him off me and stood him up. The tall, wiry girl drew her weapon
and pointed it at Meir's chest. The button glowed green.

Red, green, and blue
molecules flooded my vision. "No!" I ran in front of her and tried
to knock the weapon from her hands. She barely budged except for
one hand that slowly drew away from her rifle to smack me. Before
she could move another inch, I yelled out, "Touch me or him and
I'll blow this whole place up."

The room froze and a heavy
silence settled on everything. It reminded me of the silence on
Kalhandthar right before Manoo possessed the body of the Kofra, the
Mamood leader. They knew the seriousness of that action then and
the Soltakians knew I was serious now. I would kill every last one
of them before they touched Meir.

"Take him to his room," I
said. "Now."

The girl's eyes drifted
upward. Horror and wonder settled onto the sharp features of her
face. I looked up to see what had caught her attention.

And then I
smiled.

A pool of water as wide
and long as the cafeteria hovered just inches above the giant
Ladeshians' heads. The molecules had obeyed my innermost thoughts
even when I hadn't consciously given the order yet.
Interesting.

The girl's gaze slid back
down. Confusion pulled down her brow. "We have orders. All
civilians must be in the Info Rooms."

So my suspicions had been
right. I wondered how long it would take them to try to force me
inside. Well, they could try all they wanted. I'd already fought
that room and won, not that they'd get me anywhere near it
again.

"I can give orders, too."
I let the pool of water drop an inch closer to their heads.
Everyone started, their bodies tense. "If you take him anywhere but
to his room, I will destroy you."

With wide eyes, the girl
nodded and let her weapon drop to her side, her hand visibly
shaking. She gestured to the two soldiers behind me and they
dragged Meir—kicking and biting—away.

"How long until he's
better," I asked her.

"Either he’ll live through
the next three days, or he won’t.”

I narrowed my eyes at her
and dropped the pool of water another inch. "You better hope he
lives.”

Chapter Five

Ignoring It all

Two hours later, as I
sorted through my dirty clothes and pulled the sheets off my bed, I
did everything I could to avoid thinking about Meir, or Cailen. And
since those two took up most of my life, my topics were limited. So
I settled on First. I couldn't help but wonder what someone had to
do to become a First Servant. It didn't seem like it would be one
of those high-demand jobs where you turned to mommy and daddy and
said, "boy, I'd really like to devote my entire life to someone
else." It seemed more like a punishment.

And then I wondered why
Ranen didn't have one. He was royalty, after all. I remembered how
dirty his mansion had been. The dust everywhere. The books and
knickknacks thrown all over the floor. A servant hadn't touched
that place in years.

My wall dinged as the time
streamed across its shiny surface, reminding me it was my turn to
get my clothes cleaned. So I picked up my half-filled bag and left
for the cleaning room.

I took a deep breath to
calm my growing nerves. Despite all my efforts to avoid thinking
about Cailen, there was only so much I could do. It had been over a
day since I’d seen him. Even if he was avoiding me, we’d never been
apart this long since I’d come back from Kalhandthar.

He’d often told me he
could find me no matter where I went, that even on Sho’ful, he knew
my general direction. I wondered if I could do the same.

As I wound through the
corridors to the Cleanliness Room, ignoring the glares, and took my
spot at the back of the already long, winding line, I felt for him,
ready to pick up on his presence through our drilium bond.
Stretching my senses out, I imagined Soltak as a brown orb in a
black void. In my mind’s eye I saw the green, cratered moon and
traveled to the dark side, where I now knew Cailen’s ship was
hiding.

The electricity in my
blood had been gradually growing as I pictured these things in my
head, and as I imagined the ship—though I didn’t know exactly what
it looked like—the charge spiked. I could almost see Cailen. It was
like a sense that I could see him, even though I couldn’t actually.
I felt, rather than knew, that others were with him, talking,
arguing.

A sigh of relief escaped
my mouth. Even though it was all in my head, I knew beyond a doubt
that I’d actually felt him, that the people with him weren’t just a
product of my imagination. And with my heightened senses I could
detect the races of my people. I knew the people with him were two
Firestarters and a Watergatherer, but no Anna. Definitely not an
Anna amongst them. And I knew then without a doubt in my mind that
we'd work through this. We had to. With everything that had
happened over the last couple of months—Ranen ignoring me, finding
Meir in that room, Malik dying and coming back to haunt me—he was
my only constant. I needed him to stay that way.

When it was my turn in
line, I lifted my bag and placed it in the tube-like contraption. I
watched as the lights in the tube glowed brighter and brighter,
pouring through my bag of dirty laundry, dissolving the muck. When
the lights winked out, I took my now clean bag back to my empty
room.

A new sense of hope
lightened my step and I actually
could
ignore the stares as I walked
back, rather than pretending I could.

***

I woke up later that night
to something landing on my stomach. I sat up, gagging for air with
the wind knocked out of me. Something heavy squirmed around on my
bed before sliding to the floor with a thump.

My hand reached out for
the wall and the lights came on, bright and piercing. I rubbed my
eyes and found a pile of dark, slowly lightening silver crawling
for the door.