Fairytales (18 page)

“Please, Catherine, listen, will you?” He tried talking above her.

As he tried to get into the car, she slammed the door in his face and locked it, saying, “Go talk to your
amante!
and turned on the ignition. There was the sound of screeching brakes as she wheeled around the corner, leaving Dominic watching, his suit wine soaked, torn, and the scratches on his face red and bleeding and the welt on his forehead swollen, but for a very, very long moment he was unaware of how he looked. All he could feel was an empty hollow void … it was as though the world had shattered and splintered into a thousand fragments. It was the throbbing in his head that brought him back to the reality of what had happened. The worst of his hell, at this moment, was the humiliation of what Victoria had been subjected to. He turned immediately and went back into the kitchen where Louie waited.

“Dominic, come with me. You look terrible, like after the rumbles we used to have on Filbert Street.”

Dominic followed Louie to the lavatory in the corner where he offered Dominic his shirt and tie hanging on a hook. Dominic bathed his face, changed, thanked Louie, then left the way he had come in, walked to his car, and drove to Victoria’s apartment.

When he let himself in, he found her sitting silently. Vaguely, she looked up. Without a word, he took her in his arms and held her like a broken child. Finally, he took her face between his hands and said, “How can I ever make this up to you?”

“Please, Dominic, don’t talk … not right now.”

He remained silent and placed her head against his shoulder. After a long silence, Victoria said, “Dominic, what’s going to happen to us?”

“I haven’t had time to think about much of anything … but one thing I know is, I’m not going to give you up.”

“Oh, Dominic, let’s be realistic, how can we go on?”

She started to cry softly. “I feel that all the beauty we had between us has been made to look so sordid and distorted. I feel dirty and cheap. There were so many people in the place tonight that must have thought I
was
a whore… Oh, God, I can’t stand the sound of that word. It keeps ringing in my mind.”

“I know … I know … that’s the thing that hurts more than even her finding out.”

Getting up, Victoria said, “Please, darling, I have to be alone … forgive me, but I simply must.”

“Let me stay for a just a little while … I can’t leave you like this.”

“No, really, I must be alone to think this out.”

With that, reluctantly, he got up, kissed her, then said, “Forgive me for bringing you this pain.”

Clinging to him, she answered, “Forgive you? Darling, you’ve brought more happiness into my life than I can ever say … but somehow, down deep, I always knew something like this had to happen. I just never let myself think about it … but this evening is something that’s going to take a long time to recover from.”

He had tears in his eyes as he held her. “My God, if only you could have been spared this—”

“Please … dearest, go home. Maybe something can be salvaged … try for your children’s sake.”

“You sound so final.”

“I don’t know how I sound. It’s like a nightmare.”

“I love you beyond words.”

“And I do, too. What a pity that something like the thing we had was …” She couldn’t finish for fear of becoming hysterical. “Go home, darling … please.”

“All right, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, all right… tomorrow.”

Dominic put his latchkey into the lock, but the door would not open. He tried and tried again, finally realizing it was bolted from the inside. Going to the back door, he tried, but with the same results. He broke a window in the basement. Climbing in, he scratched his hand on a jagged piece of glass. Taking out his handkerchief, he wrapped it around to stop the bleeding and went up the stairs which led to the kitchen, then into the central foyer and up the stairs to his room. Catherine was in bed. When she saw him, she jumped out of bed and everything she had felt earlier was aroused. “How dare you come into
my
house you bastard … you’re not fit to be the father of my children, you
patrone
to a whore.”

He grabbed Catherine by the wrist and said, through clenched teeth, “Don’t you ever call her that again.”

“Let go of me … I should kill you.”

“You did that a long time ago. You killed everything that I ever felt for you. If I turned to another woman, it’s because you drove me away.”

“I drove you away? You lyin’ bastard … what did she do, give you a few
thrills
you couldn’t get from me?”

“What kind of mind do you have … you’re vile.”

“Vile, am I?” She bit him on the wrist and grabbed the bedside clock, then threw it, but it grazed past him, crashing to the floor.

He rushed to her and threw her on the bed, holding her down. “I blame you for this … I came home to try and talk, to explain how and why this happened … but who can talk to you with your violence, your impossible temper.”

Looking up at Dominic, she said, “I’m warnin’ you, let go of me. You wanted to explain how and why this happened. Let me tell you how it happened. When you had no more need for me after I gave you
your
children, you had everythin’ from me you needed. You used me and on top of it, you had an ally. Stella knew, everyone else must have known. You’ve made a fool of me and nobody does that… you hear … I’m throwin’ you out the way I threw Stella out into the streets where she belonged.”

He stood up and looked at Catherine, disbelieving, “You threw Stella out?”

“Yes, and without a quarter … the ungrateful bitch … after all I’d done for her … as good as I was to her, she betrayed me just like you did.”

Dominic stood stunned, shaking his head. Finally, he said quietly, “You’re ruthless… I had no idea how ruthless until now.”

Catherine laughed, “And what are you … a whoremaster, a …”

But Dominic had heard enough. He drove around the city aimlessly. What had happened to his life? Victoria … Victoria … He had to see her. It was one o’clock when he rang the bell. This evening, he could not let himself in. When she answered the door, he stood before her. “Vicky, forgive me, but I had to come … I had to.”

“Oh, God, Dominic,” she cried, “how much I wanted you.” He closed the door behind him, and took her in his arms …

After Dominic left, Catherine picked up the phone and called her mother. She needed an ally too. This was one thing she couldn’t endure alone. “Mama,” Catherine cried, “you’ve got to come. Dominic’s left me.”

Mama took the early morning flight and arrived at the San Francisco airport at five the next day, where a very subdued Catherine met her. They embraced amid tears and kisses. “Mama, what would I do without you?”

“My heart breaks to think anythin’ like this should have happened.”

“You don’t know what I’ve been through.”

“I know … we’ll talk later.”

And later that evening, Catherine told her mother the whole story. “Mama, how could Dominic have done such a thing to me, disgracin’ me like this … havin’ no respect for his children. I’ve given him my life … always tryin’ to make him happy … entertainin’ his friends … devotin’ myself to his needs … his wants … everythin’ I did was for him.”

“I know how hard this is for a woman—”

“Yes … but Mama, he even tried to make it seem that I was the one at fault … when I found out he had a mistress, I went crazy …what woman wouldn’t? Then he said he wanted to try and talk … imagine, to talk! How does a wife talk about her husband’s love affairs?”

“Listen to me, Catherine … please.”

“What are you gonna say, Mama … that I shouldn’t have gotten angry?”

“No … but there are things a woman has to learn to live with.”

Catherine looked at her mother, “Do you think any woman could endure that kind of embarrassment?”

“Yes …”

“I’m stunned, hearin’ you say that… of all people, I thought you would understand.”

“I do,
cara mia,
I do.”

“Mama … I just got through tellin’ you, Dominic’s got a mistress.”

“I know… now, let me tell you something I never thought I’d ever tell you.” She hesitated, then quietly said, “Your father had a mistress too … for a little while.”

“Daddy? I don’t believe it.”

“I know, but believe it.”

“And you knew?”

“Yes.”

“For how long?”

“From almost the very beginnin’.”

“And you did nothin’?”

“No.”

“I loved my Daddy … but how could you accept that?”

“Because I loved your father … but above that, I knew he loved me.”

“None of this makes any sense, Mama.”

“It makes a great deal of sense. Do you think because a man sleeps with another woman, he stops lovin’ his wife … no. Because a wife is a wife and that’s more important than bein’ his mistress. She has his name … his children and no mistress in the world can take that away.”

“I’m shocked … simply shocked at your attitude, Mama.”

“Catherine, Italian men, especially Sicilian men, don’t take their mistresses too seriously and if a woman is smart, she’ll look the other way because nothin’ that isn’t sacred can last forever.”

“But suppose he really loves another woman … truly loves her, then what?”

“An affair can’t last indefinitely … impossible. I don’t care how it is in the beginnin’. It can’t last because it can only go one place … and that’s to bed. When it’s all over, he comes home and eventually, the other woman stays just that… the other woman.”

“Mama, you sound positively depraved.”

“Maybe … but think about it, Catherine. Women, especially that kind, become possessive, then they begin to make demands and when they do, a man grows tired and says to himself, what does he need that for, and it’s the other woman who, eventually, sends him back to the arms of his wife, and if she’s smart, she’ll forget because it’s only growin’ pains he had in the first place.”

“I can’t believe I’m hearin’ my own Mama sayin’ she believes in adultery.”

“You’re not listenin’ to me, Catherine … I’m not sayin’ I believe in it, I’m sayin’ it’s a fact of life a woman has to learn to accept and if she loves her man, she realizes it’s just like so much candy.”

“And you’d be willin’ for me to take Dominic back after what happened?”

“I don’t understand you … I swear, I don’t.”

“Maybe in a few months you will when the hot anger’s gone and the loneliness sets in.”

“Never … never … never. I’ll never forgive Dominic for the way he humiliated me.”

“Well, never is a very long time and after livin’ with a man for twenty years, she’s got a big investment. No, siree, I wouldn’t … not without a battle to win him back.”

“Well, Mama, you don’t know your little Catherine if you think I’m gonna do that. I’ve humbled myself to Dominic enough times in our marriage and I’m not about to do that again, not if he came back crawlin’. In fact, I’m not gonna even allow him to see the children … especially, Gina Maria.”

“Catherine, let your Mama say one more thing to you because it’s gettin’ late and I’m gettin’ tired.”

“What’s that, Mama?”

“You’re real mad now … and I don’t say you’re wrong, but what husbands and wives say in moments of anger can be forgotten when they begin to think of all the good things they had between them and as time goes by, it’s only human nature to forget the bad … now, take my advice and don’t try and turn the children against Dominic because if you do, they’re just liable to turn out hatin’ you … especially Gina Maria. Now you just digest that, Catherine, my baby and maybe you’ll just find out your Mama’s right.”

Catherine had just turned off the light and lay in the darkness with her mama lyin’ on Dominic’s side. She’d always loved sleepin’ with Mama when she had a heavy heart, even as a child, remembering now, how tender and comfortin’ she was then, just as she was tonight. Nothing quite like a Mama … although she’d said a few things Catherine simply couldn’t go along with. Still, there was something in the way Mama said it or explained it that never made you angry or resentful. She was just as feminine as ribbons and lace and violets and smellin’ of sweet verbena, that hauntingly delicious smell which Catherine could never remember Mama not smellin’ from, no matter how early in the morning. Catherine, or anyone else for that matter, had never seen her without her hair dressed to perfection or her face done up with delicate color. She was soft-spoken, and a lady … and that was no lie. She had impeccable taste, much better than I have, thought Catherine … not so flamboyant. Much more serene about everythin’ … how to handle men. She’d kept Daddy happy all those years in spite of the fact he strayed, hadn’t she? Which must’ve meant that for all the clingin’ vine exterior and the appearin’ to be so flighty, lovin’ parties and clothes, underneath it all some steel. And Catherine had never realized how strong she was until tonight. Funny, when she thought about it … she didn’t really know her Mama at all that well… now did she?

“Mama?” Catherine said softly. “You sleepin’?”

“No, baby … no, just layin’ in the dark and thinkin’ … same as you.”

“Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Mama, tell me the truth, now.”

“I surely will, Catherine. No use bein’ deceitful to your own children. What’s your question, sugar?”

“Mama … you think I handled things wrong with Dominic?”

“Yes, I do, darlin’.”

“How should I have done it? Knowin’ he was carryin’ on with that slut?”

“Well, now, lovin’ heart, you always had one thing I wished you didn’t have … not that I love you less for it… but your temper is like your darlin’ Daddy’s … and if I could say you had a fault, I would say it was that.”

“I know it, Mama, it always gets me into the worst kinda trouble. There’s just somethin’ about it … before I can stop myself there I am, blowin’ off like a storm …”

“And then you regret it… am I right?”

“How’d you know?”

“Cause you’re just like your Daddy. You’re so much alike, you coulda been one.”

“I know, but yet he was so lovable.”

“And so are you, sugar, except that you allow your anger to get in the way of your better judgment.”