Faithful (30 page)

Phyllis unzipped her overnight bag and retrieved a smaller zipped bag of toiletries. On her way to the bathroom, she took out the bottle of lavender vanilla shower gel Dana had given her last Christmas and inhaled the fragrance.
Sweet
. Tonight she'd use it for the first time. Just a way to pamper herself on her getaway weekend.

After a shower, she put on black pants, a black jersey tank, and a quilted multicolor-print silk jacket. Ten minutes later she'd applied her makeup and fluffed her curls with her fingers. Checking herself in the mirror, she got that rush again. She felt fabulous.

Phyllis slipped into her boots and leather jacket, tucked the card key inside her purse, and took a breath as she held the door handle. Her gut tightened, and instead of a rush of excitement, she felt a rush of caution. As if she shouldn't go. Shouldn't take the elevator down to the lobby to meet Rod, who was waiting for her. But she couldn't just leave him there.

This is ridiculous
.

She pulled the door handle. A friendly dinner, that's all it was.

Phyllis stepped off the elevator and into a throng of people milling about, their conversations lively and in some pockets boisterous. They were all wearing badges, many holding beers and other drinks, ready for an evening away from sessions and workshops. She walked a few feet, scanning faces, and suddenly he was in her line of sight, standing by a coffee bar. It seemed so weird. Every time she had ever run into Rod, it was on campus or at Jasper's, which may as well have been an extension of campus. To see him in a different city, a different setting, brought that sensation she'd had before she left the room, like something wasn't quite right. What was she doing here?

Rod moved from his position when he saw her. He had a cool dressy casual look—sports coat and slacks with a white collared pullover shirt. They smiled as they came together easily in a hug.

“Hey, lady.” His words grazed her ear. “I see you made it safely.”

“Mm-hmm.” His scent, his voice, his total nearness assaulted her being, even with all the people crowding them. She took a slight step back. “How are you?”

“I'm good.” He was nodding, taking her in, his voice raised above the noise. “And you? You certainly look colorful and cheery.”

Phyllis gave a bashful smile, glancing at her jacket. “I guess I do feel cheery.”

For the first time this week
.

He leaned over. “Ready to get out of here so we can hear ourselves?”

Phyllis nodded and they headed to the exit. When they were out on State Street, Rod remembered his badge and took it off, tucking it inside his coat pocket.

“Why did yours have a special ribbon?” Phyllis asked. They turned left onto Ohio, and the air, much cooler than in St. Louis, made her quicken her step. She wore the leather to look cute, but she would have been much warmer in a wool coat.

“They give these to presenters,” Rod said. “My session was yesterday.”

Phyllis looked at him. “Really? At the national conference? That's quite an honor.”

He shrugged. “It wasn't a headline event or anything, just one of the hundreds of sessions offered. But I was pretty pumped when they accepted my proposal. It was on engaging at-risk learners, and I got to talk about how we can get students excited about science inquiry, in particular by using robotics. We've been doing that in my classes, and those kids love it.”

“Sounds like you love it too.”

“Definitely.”

They turned onto Michigan Avenue, where the number of people diminished the sidewalk space considerably, causing them to walk single file for a time. A couple of blocks later they arrived at Grand Lux Cafe, located on the large second floor, with glass windows all around that overlooked Michigan Avenue. They took the elevator up to the hostess stand, waited in line, and Phyllis gave her name. There was a sizable crowd, as she and Rod had expected, and despite the reservation they had a twenty-minute wait.

They moved off to the side and Phyllis looked at the waiting patrons, experiencing that weird feeling again. What if one of them knew her? What if a friend or colleague of Hayes's was here? How did it look, her being here with another man?
She
knew it was harmless, but it might not seem so.

She felt the same when they were led to their table. She'd hoped for one in a corner, preferably in one of the secluded dining areas, so she wouldn't feel paranoid about who might be there that she and Hayes knew. But the hostess led them instead to a table with a great view, smack in the middle of the main dining room.

“How's this?” the hostess asked, feeling she'd done them a favor.

Rod looked to her, but Phyllis wasn't willing to object openly. “It's fine.”

When they were seated, gazing at their menus, Rod asked, “How's the family?”

Phyllis didn't look up. “They're doing well.”

He chuckled a little. “You and your husband must have a real solid relationship. Michelle would've said, ‘You're driving where? To meet who? I don't think so.'”

She paused, her eyes cast vaguely on the description of the misoglazed salmon. Then she looked up. “Well, this is more of a personal getaway for me than anything else, so that's how I styled it.”

Rod turned a page in the menu book, his brow lifted. “Oh.” He stroked his chin and met her gaze. “Guess that's nice too, then, that he would give you an opportunity to have a personal getaway.” He kept looking at her, as if he suspected there was more. “Everything all right?”

“With what?”

“Obviously you must have
needed
a getaway. I'm just wondering how things are really going.”

Phyllis didn't want the cloud that had hung lately over her home life to follow her here as well.

“Things aren't perfect, to be honest with you, but they never are, right?” She shrugged. “It's nothing I want to dwell on.”

She could feel Rod staring at her as she went back to the menu. After a beat, he returned to his again, and their server returned to take their order. When they'd handed him the menus, Phyllis took a sip of water, hoping they'd move to a different subject.

Rod gazed out the window. “This is my first visit to Chicago, believe it or not.”

“Really?”

Phyllis tried to stay away from bread in restaurants—too many calories—but tonight she splurged and took a piece from the basket.

“How do you like it?”

Rod was spreading whipped butter on his. “I love it from what I've been able to see, which isn't much. I've been in the hotel mostly.”

“You'd love the Museum of Science and Industry.” She wished they could spend the day tomorrow exploring.

“I know. I'll have to schedule another visit and bring the girls.”

Phyllis smiled at him. “You enjoy being a dad, don't you?”

He nodded, finishing his bite. “The hardest and most wonderful job I'll ever have.” He rolled his eyes upward. “All the emotions girls go through, drama at school with friends, already talking about boys . . . So many nights I'm at their bedside wishing they had their mother to talk to about all this stuff.”

Phyllis's heart went out to him. “But, wow, you're at their bedside listening to them.”

“Got to,” he said. “That's Daddy time for each, one at a time. First they share what's on their heart, and they've always got something. Then we do the Bible verses we're memorizing, they give me prayer requests, and we pray. And we have this thing where they have to tell me at least one thing about the day that they're thankful for.”

“That's awesome, Rod. I'm impressed.”

Why couldn't I have a man like this?

The thought shot clean into her mind and stuck. Just looking at him made her heart spin, but his handsome features were nothing compared to his spirit.

Her thoughts were interrupted when their entrées arrived. Rod had gotten the slow-roasted beef short ribs, and Phyllis the Mahi Mediterranean.

“Let's pray,” he said when the woman had left. Phyllis looked to see if he would take her hand, but he didn't. She kept hers in her lap and lowered her head.

“Lord, thank You for the food before us,” he said, head bowed. “We ask that You bless it.” He paused and she peeked, but his head was still down. “And we ask that You be with us this evening, that You may be glorified in all things. In Jesus' name. Amen.”

“Amen.” Phyllis's eyes went first to her plate, which looked delicious, then to Rod. Still thinking about his bedtime routine, she decided to say what was on her mind. “It would be a shame if you didn't get married again someday. So many women would love to have a strong Christian man.” She took a small bite of her crusted fish.

Rod sliced a piece of beef. “Unfortunately, all the strong Christian women are taken.” He gazed up with a hint of a smile, then tasted his beef.

She tried not to blush. “That's not true. One of my closest friends is a strong Christian woman. Forty years old and still single, 'cause she hasn't found a man like you.”

Rod chuckled. “Maybe you should introduce us.”

“Hmm. I'm thinking distance would be a factor.” She speared one of her roasted tomatoes. No way would she connect the two of them.

He scooped some mashed potatoes and a small carrot onto his fork. “You must feel blessed not having to worry about all the things singles tend to worry about. You've got your strong Christian man.”

“Wrong.” Phyllis half sang the word. She tried to stave off the emotion charging at her with a quick stab of an artichoke.

Rod leaned in. “What do you mean, Phyllis?”

She dabbed her mouth with the cloth napkin. “I mean, Hayes isn't a strong Christian man. He's not even a Christian.” She tried to sound matter-of-fact, keep the cloud away.

Rod sat back, lowered his eyes. “I didn't know. That . . . that must be hard.”

Emotion came unbidden again, and she moved her head into something of a nod. She lifted her glass, but her hand had begun shaking so she set it back down. The cloud was hovering.

“So, I remember you said you were saved a few years ago, after you got married.” Rod had stopped eating. “Your husband just hasn't—”

She gave him a pointed look. “
Refuses
to listen to anything concerning Christianity.”

“Oh, it's like that?”

“It's like that.”

Rod blew out a sigh. “I can't imagine . . . But I know—and you know—that God can do anything. I'm sure you've been praying, and it's just a matter of waiting for Him to answer.”

She tried not to toss her eyes. “Yeah.”

“Really, Phyllis.”

“I know.”

They let the subject lapse as they resumed eating, their remaining time spent on more talk about the conference and the city. On the slow walk back to the hotel, Phyllis's mind traveled to the night in the car with Rod. Once again they were about to say good-bye. Once again she didn't want to.

What if she weren't married to Hayes? The question permeated her being. What if Hayes got fed up with the tension surrounding her faith and left? Would she care? Right now she wasn't too sure. Hands in her pockets, she stared at her feet as she and Rod strolled in silence. Maybe she'd been going about things the wrong way. She should've been expressing her faith around the house without reservation, singing and praising God at will. Maybe Hayes would have already been gone . . . and she could get to know Rod in a deeper way. Like she wanted to.

Truth was, she could see herself with Rod. Could see them building a relationship, a home, their kids together under one roof being raised to know the Lord, all of them in harmony. The thought of returning to the marriage she had was choking the life out of her.

Phyllis entered first through the revolving door of the hotel. It was close to eight o'clock and the lobby was much quieter now, though by no means empty. She and Rod took slow steps toward the elevator, stopping short of it near a section of lounge chairs.

Phyllis, still chilled from the walk, kept her hands in her coat pockets. “You've got an early start tomorrow morning?”

“First session's at eight. Not too bad.” His eyes drifted to the passersby, then back to her. “What time are you pulling out?”

“No special time,” she said. “Whenever I get up and get ready.”

He nodded, taking in the scene again, and Phyllis wished she could read his mind. Was he as reluctant to say good-bye as she?

Did they even have to say good-bye right now? They'd never get another evening like this to hang out and talk. She checked her watch. “It's kind of early yet,” she said. “What do you plan to do the rest of the night?”

Rod thought a moment. “Maybe catch a movie. I hadn't realized how long it's been since I've seen one, and the hotel's got a good selection.”

Longing coursed through her veins. “I like that idea. How about we watch it together?”

Rod looked skeptical. “Phyllis, I don't think it's wise for us to be in a hotel room together.”

“Well, true . . . if this were a normal hotel. But it's a suite, so we can watch it in the living area.” Phyllis knew she was reaching. “It'll be over by ten, and we can call it a night.”

Their eyes locked. She didn't know what he meant by his gaze, but it set her on fire. She felt herself being drawn all the more, saw herself in his embrace. She wanted him. She couldn't deny it. And more than that, she wanted to fall in love with him.

He led her farther out of the way, to a more private spot in the lobby, and seemed to search for words. “Phyllis, I need to apologize.”

Her heart beat still with the possibilities before them. “For what?”

“I should've never agreed to your driving up here and meeting me for dinner.” He shook his head, clearly upset with himself. “When you brought it up, something told me to say no, but I enjoyed your company in Maryland. And to be honest, I liked the thought of seeing you again.” He paused. “But it wasn't right. And hearing that things aren't going well for you at home only made me feel worse.”