Authors: S. A. Wolfe
“Good. I’m no longer on your wanker list?”
“How did you know about the list?” I practically shout.
“You talk in your sleep. Kidding. You’ve mentioned the
wankers
before, and Lauren told me you had an
actual
list.”
As the heat crawls up my neck, I look away, pretending to get caught up in the beautiful scenery, which is stunning but surely only offers more bug bites and an uncomfortable setting for sleeping.
It’s not long before our caravan quickly takes an exit onto a wide, unpaved road. We travel uphill and enter a narrow, wooded, bumpy road. I hold onto the armrest and my seat as we follow Leo’s pick-up.
“Getting nervous?” Cooper asks with a mischievous smile.
“Why? Are these woods haunted? Am I going to have to deal with the Blair Witch or some slasher nut job in a hockey mask?”
“Wow. You’ve got some imagination.”
“My favorite part of summer camp was the ghost stories around the campfire. Then I’d cry myself to sleep and sometimes pee in my sleeping bag, thinking every noise was a vengeful ghost.”
“Sounds awful.” He smiles. “I was thinking more along the lines of sharing a tent. Maybe you’re getting nervous about that. It’s the first time we’re out with our friends as a …”
“A what? Are you afraid to say couple?”
“No. I’ve been gone all week, so I’ve been wondering what you’ve been telling people and how you refer to me.”
“I tell them I rejected you for so long because I assumed you were a misogynistic, sleazy playboy, but that was all a misunderstanding.”
“Jesus, is that really what you tell people?”
I grin. “Nope. I’m screwing with you. We are a couple. And, no, I’m not afraid of sleeping in a tent with you. I’m ready to jump your kcuffing bones, mister.”
“Good, because I’ve built up five days of sexual frustration waiting to be with you. I didn’t even cheat.”
“You didn’t have sex with yourself?”
“Nope. That would have been too easy. My fantasy Imogene is almost as spectacular as you, but I was waiting for the real deal.”
“Aww, how sweet.” I pat his hand as he slips the gearshift into park.
“When I get you naked, sweet is not what I have in mind.” His expression is dead serious.
“Another hot quote from Herman Hesse. Love it.”
Twenty-Two
We have a secluded camping spot for our group: a large, open area surrounded by trees with walking trails that lead to a small lake and all those unknown territories of wildlife I will most fervently avoid. Despite its beauty, there’s not a bunny or Bambi in sight. The swarms of gnats that float above our heads make me shudder, and the shrieking caws of a nearby angry bird make me wish I had a shotgun to fire off and scare all the non-human inhabitants away.
I like animals, I really do, but I have a hard enough time sharing a home with humans, let alone a whole forest of different species. We’re not meant to sleep in the same space, although I remind myself that we are doing this for sweet, lovable Leo who is both nostalgic and romantic when it comes to his friends and his fiancée.
The men begin setting up the four tents, placing them at the perimeter of the clearing, far enough apart so we all have some privacy if we talk in quiet voices or have noiseless sex. Yes, I’m totally thinking about sex, especially since I’m watching Cooper from my very uncomfortable spot on one of the dead tree trunks positioned around the fire pit where Jess is trying to figure out how to stack the pile of bricks left by the previous campers.
“Jess, reposition the bricks so they’re in the same place as before. You can see the outline of the circle,” Emma explains.
“I’ve never done this before. I can tell from the ash where the firewood goes, but I don’t know how to do the rest.” Jess sits back on her knees. “Imogene, you went to camp. How do you do this?”
“My camp had a dining hall and indoor plumbing. Stagger the bricks in a circle like Emma said. Make the wall high enough so we can rest the grill on top. You don’t want it too close to the flames.” I chomp on a carrot stick and go back to observing Cooper. “Look at those guys. I think they’re arguing over where the tent flaps should face. It’s hilarious. They look so serious.”
As if he knows my eyes are glued to his backside, Cooper turns around and grins at me.
“What are you smiling about?” Emma asks, taking the plastic bag of carrot sticks from my hand before I devour them all.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing my ass,” Lauren chides. “She’s crazy for Cooper.”
“Of course she is,” Jess adds. “And he’s sweet on her, so it’s all good. No more complaining about being single and all the dud guys out there.”
“I barely said a word about the duds.”
All three women stop what they’re doing and stare at me.
“All right. Maybe I complained a little too much about men.”
“Imogene, that’s an understatement,” Lauren says. “You terrified the male customers at the diner. Your parents wanted to fire you so you’d break that crabby rut you were putting everyone through, but Bonnie has a soft spot for how you give guys a hard time. She thought it would at least keep you from getting hurt again anytime soon.”
“I am my grandmother’s favorite.” I shrug.
Emma chuckles.
“Okay, I was a beast … to everyone. It was a bad year. But things are looking better,” I say, glancing back at Cooper as the men walk towards us with a little swagger even Leo seems to have picked up.
“Dylan, you’re the chef; you set up this fire pit, grill thing, please.” Jess stands and looks at her palms covered in soot.
“She’s right, honey,” Emma confirms. “You know it’s really your area of expertise.”
“Sure thing,” Dylan replies, dropping to his knees and quickly constructing the bricks and the grill rack. “You guys would be eating beef jerky and trail mix if I wasn’t here to cook.”
“Yep, and when we catch all those fish tomorrow, we’ll let you clean and cook them for us,” Carson adds, cuffing Dylan’s head.
I tune out their conversation, focusing on the nice, warm body settling down next to me on the big, fat log. Cooper puts an arm around my waist and gives me a delicious smile. The two kisses hours ago are not enough to hold me over. I want to go test out our tent now, but Leo is making a big deal about the steaks he brought and the dinner he and Lauren have planned for the evening. The others begin unpacking food and cookware while Cooper and I take a moment to catch up.
“I missed the hell out of you this week,” I whisper into his ear.
He kisses my cheek. “I missed you, too. You have no idea.”
“You’ll have plenty of time to tell me about that. We’re back in the wild again, and you know Mother Nature and I are not fond of one another, so I plan on being in our tent a lot. You can show me how much you missed me.”
“I will,” he says, nuzzling my neck. “Do you think you’ll be able to turn off your work brain for a couple of days and actually relax? Because I plan on shutting out everything that happened this whole week, and the guys and I agreed that no shop
talk can take place until Monday.”
“I get it. Very clever. You don’t want me to bring up your family. I won’t. Maybe.”
“Let’s go check out the tent,” he whispers conspiratorially in my ear.
We get our bags from his truck and select the most remote tent, the one least likely to have people walking by to get to the vehicles or supplies. I’m surprised at how spacious it is inside with a fully inflated air mattress for two.
Cooper tosses our bags to the side and falls back hard onto the mattress, pulling me with him. The rubber makes a loud burp sound as our bodies hit it, but it doesn’t burst as I feared. While Cooper rolls on top of me and begins kissing me eagerly, my fingers go right for his hair and then slowly trace across his solid shoulders and down his hard biceps.
“Hey, Coop!” Dylan yells a few feet from our tent. “Wanna go for a thirty minute run before dinner?”
Cooper jerks his head up. “Hell, no! Go away!”
We hear Dylan laugh then more footsteps before we hear Emma softly murmuring to him.
“I’d rather chase you through the woods,” Dylan says quietly to Emma. “I’ll give you a head start.” That’s followed by what sounds like Dylan slapping Emma’s rear end.
When they’re gone and I’m certain no one is within earshot of us, I start laughing. “There’s no privacy here.”
“Then you better keep your screaming to a minimum.” Cooper keeps me pinned to the mattress and kisses the sensitive spot on my neck, triggering every erogenous zone to be on red alert.
“I expect everyone to be on time for dinner! Lauren and I are the only ones here prepping the food!” Leo shouts. “I don’t care what you’re in the middle of … I know you can all hear me! Dylan you better be back in time to cook all of this!”
Cooper curses against my neck, and I laugh in frustration.
This weekend is really for Lauren and Leo, but at this moment, I’m not feeling the love for my friends and their idea of fun, domestic chores we took to the great bug-infested outdoors. You can’t give me a bed and a guy I’m crazy about and expect me to switch gears and get excited about grilled steak and fishing.
“We have to save this for later because I don’t want to get busy and then stop for dinner.” I stroke Cooper’s cheek.
“Are you sure?” His lips push mine open again for a deep kiss.
I moan when he slips his hand under my shirt and undoes the front clasp of my bra to palm my breast so I can’t formulate a coherent response. Then he lifts my shirt all the way up and puts his mouth on a hard nipple, sucking and nibbling until I’m writhing underneath him.
“Not fair.” I grab his hair and yank his head off my chest.
“If you struggle, that only turns me on.”
“Take off your shirt,” I demand. “We can have topless kissing, no hands below the waist. And then we’ll go to dinner.”
“I’ll take whatever I can get,” he agrees.
We remove our T-shirts and I shimmy off my bra straps so we can be skin to skin, his weight and hard muscles providing a wall of comfort. We use every minute we have to enjoy a long, uninterrupted make out session. Other than the sound of a few pots and pans being clanked and that damn screeching bird, all I listen to are Cooper’s breaths and moans.
Dylan makes a spectacular dinner with the crude cookware, grilling the rib eyes, red peppers, and asparagus with fresh herbs. When he calls dibs on Emma’s steak since she’s a vegetarian, Carson and Cooper gripe a bit about that but then figure it’s his payment for manning our stone-age fire pit.
After dinner, Leo and Lauren say goodnight and escape to their tent. The rest of us clean up the mess, and I bag everything, terrified we’ll attract bears.
“What are you doing?” Jess asks, alarmed.
“Spraying down the area with the air freshener Lauren keeps in her car.” I squirt the pungent fragrance around our plastic storage containers.
“It smells like cinnamon and candy canes,” says Emma, sniffing.
“It’s a Christmas home décor spray. It’s all I have.”
“You’re trying to camouflage food smells with more food smells?” Jess asks.
“Bears and wolves are attracted to the steak, not candy canes.”
“Bears and wolves?” Dylan laughs. “That stuff stinks, Imogene.”
“My girl flips out when she’s up against the elements.” Cooper puts an arm around my waist and gingerly removes the spray can from my hand, tossing it to Carson.
“Now you know why we never invited you on our camping trips,” Carson says to me. “You’re almost as bad as Jess when it comes to leaving modern conveniences.”
“I’ve been good since we got here.” Jess playfully shoves Carson’s chest. “I haven’t complained once.”
“Babe, you practically cried when we arrived and you lost your cell service.” Carson laughs and traps her arms behind her back to kiss her.
“Losing contact with civilization isn’t a little thing. At least I can handle a hike without crying, unlike Imogene.” Jess grins at me.
I feel a spark of heat on my cheeks. “You told everyone about our hike?” I turn to Cooper, who drops his head with a small smile and a curse.
“That was weeks ago. Yes, I told a few people … about the entertaining parts,” he confesses. “But I told them you were a very good sport about managing one of the worst trails.”
“We had to climb over thorny bushes, and there were hornets!” I say defensively to the group.
“There were.” Cooper moves behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my head. “If the thought of going without a hot shower for two days is too much for you, I’ll drive you to the nearest motel tonight.”
“Oh, shut up,” I quip, but the solidity of his embrace has already cooled my irritation. I figure I should be able to handle a little humiliation among my friends, especially since I’m the one who usually doles it out to them.
We call it an early night since the sun has set, and when it’s dark in the woods and you don’t have a bonfire, music, or alcohol, the only other thing to do is go to bed. I wouldn’t have minded if we had brought wine or something stronger to enjoy while we roasted marshmallows, but since Lauren can’t drink now, Dylan doesn’t consume any alcohol because of his strong meds, and Cooper doesn’t really drink at all, it seemed inconsiderate to bring any alcoholic beverages. The upside is no one will wake up with a hangover, and we can connect with our early pioneer roots by going to bed before nine and entertaining ourselves the old fashioned way—with sex.
Cooper turns on the LED lantern in our tent and zippers the two sleeping bags together on the air mattress.
“Why didn’t we bring sheets and blankets instead of the sleeping bags?” I ask, admiring how his arms flex and look taut even while doing a simple task like working a zipper.
“Sleeping bags are better at keeping snakes out of your bed.”
“Snakes?” I panic and jump up on my knees while I search the tent floor for anything that moves.
Cooper chuckles. “I’m kidding. Kind of. Make me happy and get naked.”
“Hello, you can’t mention snakes and think you can seduce me at the same time.”
Once he flips back a corner of the sleeping bag, I climb into it fully clothed. Cooper strips off his T-shirt and jeans and then crawls towards me with a sly smile, wearing only his boxer briefs.