Faithful to Laura (15 page)
“I know it isn’t. But anyone can see you’re struggling right now.”
She sat up straight and clenched her jaw. “I won’t let it affect my work. I promise.”
“I know. That’s not what I meant.” He leaned forward.
“Remember what I said. I’m here if you need me.”
His words unlocked a dam inside, and the tears began to well up again. “We hardly know each other.” She pulled back, covering her face with her hands. “I don’t understand why you care.”
“Because if there’s anything I’ve learned from living with the Amish, it’s that they care about each other. Isn’t it that way in your community?”
Laura looked up.
“Ya.”
“And if someone you knew was struggling . . . hurting . . .”
He swallowed and looked away for a moment. “Wouldn’t you try to help, if you could?”
She stared at him. She’d been so consumed by her own pitiful, vengeful thoughts she hadn’t given anyone else much consideration. She nodded.
He looked at her again. “You may not want to talk to me about what happened with Mark. And that’s okay. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone.” He smiled. “Everything is going to be all right, Laura.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Sawyer shrugged. “Isn’t that one of God’s promises?
Something about all things working together for good? I don’t think that means everything that happens to us
is
good, but that somehow God brings good out of it if we’ll only trust. That’s what I’ve been told, anyway.” He smiled at her again and left the office.
Laura’s eyes fixed on the door.
Trust that God could bring good out of all that had happened to her?
If only she could.
Emma stood at what used to be the front entrance of her grandfather’s workshop. The rain had stopped, but gray clouds cloaked the sky. She held her thumbs together and created a frame, trying to visualize the animal shelter. Adam had given her a diagram he’d sketched out. They would have to get started before the weather made it impossible.
But what about the wedding plans? It was the beginning of November, and they planned to marry in January. Could they do both in such a short period of time?
“Emma.”
She smiled at the sound of Adam’s voice, and a warm rush of love rose up in her. Now that they were engaged, she didn’t even try to hold back her happiness.
Grossmammi
had given her blessing, saying something akin to “It’s about time.”
Emma turned and looked at him, and all thoughts of romance flew away. His normally healthy complexion was ashen. “What’s wrong?”
“I told
mei
parents. About the wedding.”
A drop of rain landed on Adam’s light blue shirt. Then two.
“We need to go inside,” Emma said. “I’ll fix us some
kaffee
and—”
Adam took her hand and led her to the front porch. A crack of thunder split the air. Rain started to pour. “We need to talk.
Out here. Alone.”
“Adam?” She let go of his hand. A sickening lump formed in her belly. “You haven’t changed your mind, have you?”
“
Nee
. Of course not.” He shook his head so hard she thought he might hurt his neck. He took her hands in his. “I haven’t. And I never will. Don’t ever doubt that, Emma. I love you. I will love you for the rest of my life.”
His passion soothed her doubt but didn’t keep the panic at bay. “Is it your parents?” She gripped his hands. “They don’t want us to get married?”
“They didn’t say that.”
“But they aren’t happy about it.”
Adam let go of her hands. “Emma, they aren’t happy about anything.” He pulled back a foot or two.
Distance. He was only a few steps away, but it felt like miles separated them. “I don’t understand. I thought—”
“Emma, this isn’t about
mei mudder
and
vadder
. It’s about us.” He wiped the back of his hand across his forehead.
Sweating? The patter of rain echoed in her ears, and she felt chilled to the core. Yet he was standing on her porch, pale as paper and perspiring.
“I have to tell you . . . I don’t know how . . .” He swallowed hard. “I promised I’d never hurt you again.”
“
Ya
, you did.” She backed away from him.
“And I meant it.” He closed his eyes for a moment. Then opened them. They were shiny. Wet with unshed tears. “I’m going to have to break that promise.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have to tell you. When I was in Michigan, I . . . I had a girlfriend.”
She clasped her hands and rubbed them together. Had she really expected him not to date when he broke away from the church? Her mind accepted it, while her heart lagged behind.
But even though it stung to hear him say it out loud, he wasn’t hurting her. Not in the way he thought. She went to him.
“Adam, I understand.”
“
Nee
, I don’t think—”
“I do. Really.” She reached up and touched his cheek. Felt the roughness of the stubble on his chin. “You lived another life in Michigan. You didn’t think you would come back here.
Dating . . . having a girlfriend. It’s only natural.” She forced a smile. “I can’t be the only one to find you irresistible.”
He closed his eyes again. Removed her hand from his cheek.
“I didn’t just date, Emma. Ashley and I, we were serious. We were—how do I say this? Intimate.”
Emma’s mouth dropped open. “You were . . .
with
her?”
“Only twice.”
“Twice?” She brought her hand up to her mouth. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you have the right to know—”
“I don’t want to know!”
“Emma, I’m sorry. You can’t imagine how bad I feel about this.”
“Imagine?” Her eyes flew open. “All I can do now is imagine. You didn’t have to tell me, Adam.”
“
Ya
, I did. I don’t want any secrets between us.”
“But now this . . . this
thing
is between us!”
“I had to be honest,” he said.
“It’s one thing to be honest.” Emma glared at him. “It’s another to throw your
maedel
in my face.”
Adam went to her. “Ex-girlfriend,” he repeated. “I never loved her.”
“Then
why
?”
“Because I was stupid. Growing up, we were taught to stay pure until marriage. I know that. But I didn’t care. Everyone does it. I wasn’t even Ashley’s first.”
Her stomach turned inside out. “I didn’t need to know that either.”
“Emma, this doesn’t change anything between us. Tell me it hasn’t.”
“I . . . I don’t know.”
“Emma.”
“Don’t push.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “Adam, please don’t push me. Not on this.” She opened the door and ran inside.
The rain drummed against the top of the buggy. Cora shifted on the bench seat, trying to find a comfortable position that also kept her coat and pantsuit dry. There was no door on either side of the buggy. No windshield to keep the biting air at bay. And nothing hiding the full view of the rear end of the horse, which was only a couple of feet ahead of her.
“I’m sorry we don’t have the winter cover on yet.” Anna tapped the reins on the horse’s backside. It did nothing to increase the buggy’s speed. “It’s been a mild winter so far.”
“Indeed.” Cora brought a handkerchief to her nose. At least she was sitting on the right side of the buggy. Every few minutes a car would whiz by on the left, splattering water and making her grip the edge of the seat. It was minimally padded, with a covering of shoddy velvet. Everything about these people was cheap, backward, and painfully
slow
.
The buggy rolled through a large puddle. Muddy water splashed on the hem of Cora’s designer pantsuit. “This is ridiculous! I hope you have a dry cleaner somewhere in this town.”
“I’m sure we do.” Anna glanced at her but didn’t apologize.
She returned her gaze straight ahead.
Cora looked at her surroundings. Anything to avoid the back end view of the horse. There was nothing worth seeing.
A few cars, houses, farmland—nothing that bespoke class and stature. As the rain beat a steady cadence outside, she grimaced.
Middlefield? More like Middle-of-nowhere-field
.
Pain twinged in her hip. She had left her medicine in her cosmetic case back at the Bylers’. At some point she had to find a suitable place to spend the night. Definitely not here.
“We’ll be at the workshop in a short while.” Anna pulled on the reins, bringing the horse to a halt at a stop sign.
“Define ‘short while.’ ”
“Twenty minutes.”
Cora brought her fingertips to her temple as Anna made a right turn. Twenty more minutes in this . . .
thing
? Next time she would insist on a cab. Of course there wouldn’t be a next time.
As soon as humanly possible, she intended to get out of here and back to New York, taking Sawyer with her.
A sudden stench filled the air. Cora looked up just as the horse relieved himself in the middle of the road. Repulsed, she turned away, only to get splashed again by a spray of dirty water.
She couldn’t get out of this dreadful place soon enough.
“That’s looking
gut
,
sohn
.”
Sawyer glanced up at Lukas. He smiled, then dipped the fine-pointed paintbrush into a small jar of black paint. “I think after about twenty of these rocking horses I’ve finally figured out how to get the eyes just right.”
“Nothing wrong with a small flaw here and there. That’s what makes them one-of-a-kind.”
Sawyer swirled a bit of black paint on the side of the horse’s head. “That’s interesting, coming from you.”
“Why?”
“You have some pretty high standards, in case you haven’t noticed.”
Lukas chuckled. “And you’ve never failed to meet them.”