Faithless (48 page)

             
"I know him. You don't."

             
"Do you know he's having an affair with Ailsa McInnes? She's a married woman."

             
"And is that from a delicate and reliable source? Or is it just tittle tattle?"

             
Sue was getting flustered. "I said it to show he is without honour."

             
"So if you're absolutely convinced that John is spying for the Soviets, why haven't you had him arrested?"

             
"Because we don't work like that- because we believe in the rule of law. We need evidence."

             
"So where do I come in?"

             
"A minor part. But an essential one." She jumped on the chink in Joe's apparent immovability. "We want you to invite him and his family out for the day."

             
"And you'll follow us? That seems a bit unnecessary."

             
She shook her head. "No, no. Just to get them out of the house."

             
"So you can plant listening devices?"

             
"Yes, to gather essential evidence."

             
"Isn't that breaking and entering? I thought you believed in the rule of law?"

             
"We will obtain a warrant."

             
"Ah. That's the way the law works: flexibly."

             
"Will you do it?"

             
John looked at her long and hard. "I will. Because I know you will find no evidence to support your claims and then, when you haven't, I will do whatever I can to bring your personal campaign of hate against John Gilroy to those who can do something about it."

             
Sue blushed. "I don't hate John Gilroy. Not for personal reasons anyway."

             
"You hate him because he's a better intelligence officer than you. Because he's a better human being than you. And now if you've finished, I have work to do."

             
She was red faced. "I need to tell you when."

             
"You just drop me a line."

12th October, 1985, London:
John and Karen met Joe and Angie at Regent's Park early on Saturday afternoon.  Karen saw Joe walking towards them around the Inner Circle and waved briskly. As they got closer John could see Angie was beaming broadly at Karen. They had become good friends. He and Karen had a twin each in a sling in front of them. Eilidh was looking around crossly, at least as much as she could, being only able to see what her father's chest didn't block out. Angie came up and gave Karen a big kiss. She leaned up to John and said, "I won't hug you. I don't want to squash the baby."

             
Joe nodded in greeting. "How you doing buddy?"

             
"Not too bad old man. Not too bad."

             
"Why don't you take Eilidh?" asked Karen. "Give Eilidh to Angie, John."  John smiled and with Angie's help managed to transfer the baby to her. Eilidh started crying.

             
"Oh babba. Don't cry. Auntie Angie's got you now," said Angie. "Oh Joe, can I have one of my own?"

             
Joe groaned. "When we get back to Ottawa. We don't want our kid born a Brit. No offence guys," he grinned at John and Karen.

             
"Dual citizenship could be useful," said Angie.

             
"I was joking. I don't mind if our son is British. I even like them," said Joe. Angie thumped his arm. "You two talk about babies and we can talk about man things," said Joe.

             
John walked a few paces ahead of the women alongside Joe.

             
"How's things anyway John?"

             
"Fine."

             
"Sure?"

             
"Yeah, sure."

             
"Ok."

             
"There's a puppet show on in the park today. Want to go see it?"

             
"The kids will like that. Can we get a beer somewhere?"

             
"I don't know in this benighted country. Maybe. I can't drink too much. I'm driving." Then he had a brainwave. "Hey Ange, want to drive?"

             
"What? You're allowing me to drive?"

             
"You always say you don't get to drive."

             
"Does this mean you want a beer?"

             
He grinned. "You read me like a book."

             
They walked leisurely through the park towards the Open Air Theatre. The weather was relatively warm. The leaves on the trees were yellow, red and gold. John paid for the tickets for everyone. Joe tried to object but John said, "Next time we go to a puppet show, you can pay. I promise."

             
They took their seats. John sat next to Karen who sat next to Angie. Joe was the far side from John.  Karen linked her arm through John's. He felt himself stiffen slightly. She didn't seem to notice anything untoward. She said, "I know things haven't been so good between us recently."

             
He shrugged. "Every couple has their ups and downs."

             
"I know. I just don't want you to give up on me." 

             
He said nothing. 

"You've got every reason to be unhappy with me. I've been cold towards you. I still love you, you know."  She nestled her head into his shoulder. "I've
never loved anyone else."

             
He felt his eyes moisten. There was guilt in his stomach. He put his arm round her. "It's been hard Karen."

             
"I was talking to Angie.  I'm sorry if I've not made you feel wanted and loved."

             
He hugged her tighter. He didn't dare speak.

             
"And I know the sex thing is a big deal. Maybe we could go to a therapist or something?" She looked at him wanting a response.

             
He shrugged. He didn't trust his voice.

"Maybe I could go. I know the problem's with me," she said. "I want to make us w
ork," she said. "We've got the girls. I want them to be brought up with a mummy and daddy who love each other."

             
John sighed heavily. He turned his face away so that she couldn't his see his tears.

The puppet show was a kind of re-make of the Cats Musical
but with puppets. It was hard to follow what was going on. Eilidh was engrossed in playing with Angie's long auburn locks. Angie was singing lullabies in a soft voice but Eilidh was too focused on her work to listen. Morag was asleep, dribbling against her mother's chest. Karen kept hugging John's arm tight and he looked ahead at the puppets but didn't see them. 

             
Joe leaned into Angie and said something that she whispered to Karen. Karen in a fit of giggles whispered it to John. She said, "Joe says he can't bear any more, can we go and get a drink?"

             
John nodded. "Yes, the puppet show was a good idea on paper. Only on paper."

             
They got up. Karen held onto John and said, "I hope I haven't made you sad."

             
He said, "Come on let's go and find somewhere warm."

They wandered out of the park and found a pub near Baker Street Tube Station. Joe insisted on buying the drinks. Angie and Karen sat together with the babies.

             
"I don't mean to pry, John," said Joe, "but you don't look ok."

             
"You're not prying pal. But I'm fine."

             
"You and Karen seem to be getting along well."

             
John nodded. "Yeah, it looks that way."

             
"Ah," said Joe and looked down at his drink.

             
"She's the mother of my kids. She wants to make it work. We've got problems but which couple hasn't?"

             
"That's true."

             
"She doesn't want me to give up on her.  So, I won't."

             
Joe looked at him searchingly but said nothing.

             
"I know what you're thinking. About the other one."

             
"Yeah, I was."

             
"She's got under my skin. I'm obsessed with her."

             
"It's just a crush."

             
"Maybe. Do you believe in soul mates?"

             
"Maybe. If I did, me and Angie would be soul mates. Destined to be together since before time and stuff." He grinned.

             
"That's the way I feel about Ailsa."

             
"It's a fantasy. That kind of love is a sort of madness: it bends reality and makes chance seem meaningful. But it's not. Trouble is you don't find that out until the madness lifts and you realise you've set a flame thrower to the life you had before."

             
John sighed heavily. "I know I've got to end it. But I don't want to."

             
"I hesitate to give you advice, buddy. But you have to. Ailsa's... well I can see the attraction. She's funny and clever. She looks like she could be on the cover of Vogue and I bet she fucks like a bunny." He held up his hand. "Don't tell me. It's best I don't know."

             
John said, "I don't know whether to laugh or punch you."

             
"Laugh. It's easier on the soul," said Joe.

             
"And your point is?"

             
"My point is that you and her - a life together. It's a fantasy. She's..."

             
"Out of my class?"

             
Joe shrugged. "I don't mean to be mean. But she's from a different world. Daddy's a millionaire. Mummy jets round the world and knows Sarah Ferguson and Princess Di. You're just a regular guy."

             
"So I'm supposed to accept the social status quo? Know your place and all that?"

             
"You won't find fucking Ailsa advances world revolution."

             
John stepped back. He looked angry. The women looked up. Joe put his hands up in peace. "I'm trying to be your friend."

             
John took a breath. He downed his pint glass. "Let's get another," he said.

             
"Are you sure?"

             
"I'm sure."

             
"I don't want you to start swinging punches. Maybe a lemonade shandy?"

             
John laughed. The women were relieved and went back to the babies.

             
Joe ordered more drink. "I get it," said Joe. "I remember back in the day in the kitchen in Moscow how we were going to be free spirits and sock it to the man.  Is that what Ailsa is? Getting one over on her privileged husband?"

             
"She's not a possession. She's a person. And I'm in love with her."

             
"Ok. But you've got to end it. For your children's sake."

             
"It's such a fucking mess," muttered John and took a gulp of his beer.

             
Joe put his hand on John's shoulder as if he were calming a horse.

             
John let it lie there.  "Yeah, ok. I know you're right," he said.

             
"Let's change the subject," said Joe.

             
"Let's."

             
"Sue came to see me the other day."

             
"Lucky bastard. What did that wicked poisoned bitch want?"

             
"She doesn't like you."

             
"Really? You must be mixing me up with another John Gilroy she hates."

             
"You need to watch your back."

             
"Why?"

             
"She's gunning for you."