Fake (A Pretty Pill) (24 page)

“I don’t have anything to cut those bonds with, and it’s obvious…
police and ambulance please.
  It’s obvious nobody inside…
sexual assault.  She’s right in front of me, she’s injured, and I’ve detained the perp.  Her hands are tied and I can’t undo them because they’re zip ties
.”

Ben gives them directions and sits down next to me.  When Ethan begins to stir, he moves over and places him in a headlock.

Before the police and ambulance arrive he explains his reaction to finding out who I am.

“You know Silas is going to go mental.  He’ll literally wind up in jail trying to kill this motherfucker.”  He sighs.

Ethan whimpers.

“Not a fucking sound from you,
I can’t even bear the fact that I’m touching you; all I want to do right now is twist your motherfucking head and break your neck.”  He growls down at Ethan.

“I hate that I’ll cause him more pain.  Maybe I can get away without telling him?”

Ben looks at me like I’m insane.

“You
’re not planning on seeing him for the next couple of weeks while your grazes heal?”  He nods, indicating the bruising grazes weeping blood on my elbows. “And even then it will be hard to explain to him not to hug you so tight because your shoulder is in pain.”  He points out.  “Oh and then there’ll be the police to hide, the court case to sweep under the rug and all that other stuff that’s large and kind of hard to put aside.” He explains

“Damn.”

“Thought so, I don’t know how you’re going to do it, but you need to tell the truth up front, I can tell you that much.  Apart from that, I suppose you’ll need to prepare to calm him down or have a fancy way of telling him so he doesn’t immediately jump into a rage and run to kill this fucking cunt.”  Ben states bluntly.

I
flinch at his harshness and then sigh.

“Thanks Ben.”

“Welcome to the family.  Sorry about the swearing, and I’m glad to see Silas is right about a few things.”

“Yeah?”

“Your bloody gorgeous; and you put up one hell of a fight.” he says smiling, revealing two cheeky dimples that make him turn from being a man into a naughty boy.  Silas’ sister Jade is a bloody lucky woman.

“I still lost.”

“Not from lack of trying, those injuries are battle worthy.  I’m guessing a fair play of chance came into the fight too.  Another time and you’d have won.”  He reasons.

“I’ll forgo the rematch.” I laugh.
  But it causes me pain in my shoulder, so I cringe instead.

“A s
ense of humor too, even in light of what just happened.” he shakes his head and smiles, “If they don’t take you overnight into the hospital, let Silas look after you for just one night.”  He requests.

“I can’t, I’ve got to…”

“It’s just one night.” he interrupts.

“We’ll see.  He mightn’t want to be anywhere near me.”

“Oh, he’ll most definitely want to be near you.”  He states firmly, just as the emergency vehicles arrive.

***

“Hello?” I finally get to answer my phone, which has just been handed to me by a female uniformed police officer, as I’m about to be lifted into the back of the ambulance on a stretcher.  I nod to Ben who is talking to Dr. Jensen, and he nods back.

“Isi, I’ve been trying to call you for an hour.”  Silas fearfully says down the phone.

“I, shit.  Silas, if I tell you where to find me and I stay with you tonight, will you promise me you’ll stay calm and not try to kill someone?”

“Isi, I can
only promise you that you’re freaking me out and I already want to tear someone to shreds.”  He replies angrily.

“I really need you to be calm.  I need you like I needed your help the other
week.”  I explain.

“Has you parents fucking done something?”

“Silas, please.  Go to the gym after I tell you this and punch stuff till you can come to me without acting on your desire to kill someone.”  I bargain.

“Isi, you better fucking tell me what’s going on, I’m about ready to explode here.”

“I was assaulted.”

“MOTHERFUCKING
BULLSHIT.”
  Silas screams away from the phone.

“Who
assaulted you Isi?” he shouts

I look over to where Ethan is now being driven away
.

“Ethan.”

“What did he do to you?”  He seethes.

“He tried to abduct me.”

And then the connection is broken.

“Ben.
” I shout, just as they’re about to close the doors.

He
throws his head up, “Silas?”

“Yeah, he hung up.”

“Fuck.”

Silas.

Panic, heightened emotion and rage ar
e pushing me to get over to the May Sedgwick Respite Facility and I am resultantly riding like a complete maniac, but I need to find Ethan and I really, really must eliminate him or screw him up for good.

I ride past Ben and I
immediately notice in my mirror the smoke from his tires as he squeals to a halt in the middle of Chorro Street; so of course I realize he’s seen me and is turning around right now with the intent of preventing me from killing the cocksucker.

I can’t stop; I’m so angry that I’m not particularly seeing straight.  But I’m planning; I’m planning how I can get into the facility and get to him.  I’m
thinking about letting him live… I want him to hurt for a long, long time.  I want him to feel pain, so no… death is kind, and it’s not for him.

I charge up the Cabrillo Highway, get off at Madonna Road and continue along Los Osos Valley Road.  Ben will catch up in a second.  I’ve already violated several speeding zones, but I know he will too, so time is not on my side
because he’s the superior rider.

I take all corners by cutting them sharply from here on in, and I narrowly miss a couple of oncoming vehicles
and slow walking pedestrians.

When I finally get to the facility, I pull up
as close as I can to the main doors.

I don’t
walk, I run.  I have no helmet to throw off; I didn’t bother to put one on.  I’m not wearing a jacket and I still have sneakers on.

I’m one foot away from pounding on the glass and hopefully smashing it.

“Silas.”

I
momentarily freeze and then whirl around to see Dr. Jensen seated on the bench seat to the side of the main doorway.

I don’t reply.  I just stare at her and breathe huge gulping lungfulls of air.

“Don’t smash my doors please.”  She says and smiles.

I’m so angry right now.

I should smash the doors.

I should burn the whole motherfucking place to the ground.

“He’s not here.”  She says.

“Where the fuck is he?” I shout.

“In jail.”

“Wha
t the fuck?  I want to kill him. No, no, actually I want to fuck him up so badly that he’ll feel immense pain for the remainder of his motherfucking life.”  I scream.

“I know,
I kind of do too.”

What?

I just stand there.  She looks so calm.

She’s fucking smiling at me for God’s sake and patting the seat beside her.

Ben pulls up on his Ducati, and he’s off in a flash; pulling off his helmet and storming across to prevent me from doing something stupid.

“Ben, feel free to pull up a chair; Silas was just about to sit and have a chat with me.”  She indicates the free standing chairs on the far side of the tiled entrance.

He’s breathing hard too.  But he does precisely what she asks him to.  And despite my burning need to paint the walls with Ethan’s blood, I find myself sitting down as well.

“Silas, would you like to know the first time I wanted to hurt someone?  I mean really hurt someone
like you want to right now? Cruelly?”  She begins.

I nod
and sit down.  He’s not here anyway.  I’ll let her talk for a bit, and then I’ll go find him in county, I already know where it is.  He’s not going anywhere.

“It was the height of the Vietnam
War and I was a spring chicken of a girl, the same age as you are now in fact.  I was in a Hospital in Saigon, and I’d just helped a soldier recover from serious wounds and he was due to go home, however he chose to suicide before he was returned.  My superior asked me to dump his body in a makeshift morgue, and I was to forget that I’d spent weeks assisting him to get better.  He was 18 years old and I’d grown sincerely fond of him.”  She sighs.

“I wasn’t angry at him.  I was angry at the system
, at the war and at the Government.  I was therefore angry at my superior.  I wanted to tear him to pieces and throw him in the air like confetti for being so cold-hearted and unfeeling.”

“What did you do?”  I find myself asking
through my rage.

“I broke two
knuckles from punching a Kapok tree and then continued to assist with wounded and dying soldiers despite it.”

“How did you manage to do that?”

“I channeled the rage into something else.  I wanted to make some changes; so I began to counsel the troops as I cleaned their wounds, attended to their needs or assisted them in death.  I never had a soldier suicide while in my care after that.  I’m not sure if that continued after they returned home, but I take some small comfort in knowing that they were well cared for in that shitty excuse for a hospital.”  She says smiling.

“Did you ever want to d
o it again; I mean hurt someone cruelly?” I choke.

“Oh yes.”

I look at this wonderful older woman and despite my rage, I want her to tell me more.

“I lost a daughter and I wanted to kill God.  I lost my faith because of it.  I still have issues with religion.” 
She points out.

Holy shit, perhaps she hates Ethan as much as I do.

She certainly knows pain; she’s felt more pain than I have.  I’ve never lost a child.

“I can’t seem to help spiraling
out of control.”  I shout out.  “I just want to hurt him so much.”

“This is not a manic rage Silas.  You have been peaceful and calm for the last month.  I have seen no indication that you have b
een escalating.  This is normal run of the mill heartbreaking anger.”  She states.

I kind of know that.  Because if this was my mania, I wouldn’t have be
en able to stop and turn around; and she would’ve immediately looked like the enemy.  In addition, all my movements haven’t exactly been spontaneous and peculiar.  They’ve been predictable and well thought out.

I lower my face into my hands and bend over my knees.

I feel her hand on my back, travelling up and down my spine in a gentle, soothing pattern.

“I’m so angry
.”  I holler.

“I am too.  He’s an asshole of the highest order
.”  She states calmly.

I attempt to reign in my temper for Dr. Jensen’s sake, so I breathe before talking again.

“I’m confused.  It’s always been my rage and mania that has driven me into anger.  This isn’t something I understand.  Was I only angry when Shae left?”  I ask.

“From what I read
no.  You were certainly in a mania.  But then Silas, you had been escalating according to family and witnesses for a period of time before the incident.  During the incident, you were hallucinating and intent on cutting your heart out and sending it express post to the girl you wanted.  I can tell you now; it’s not normal to think you can cut out your heart and continue to walk around before heading to the local post office.”

I’m so
fucking embarrassed about that.

“Tell me Silas.  Are you arguing with Logan?”

“No.  I haven’t really heard from him in a while.”

“That’s a good sign then, isn’t it?”

“I suppose.  But then why is this need to crucify Ethan so hard to put aside?”  I ask gruffly.

“
Let me use a hypothetical situation to help with this.  A single father finds his daughter raped in her bedroom at night, and he can only just see the rapist running from the scene in the distance too far away for him to catch him.  Now, is his need to run that bastard down and flay him a justified anger?” she asks.

“Of course he’s fucking justified
.” I growl.

“And almost everyone in the world would agree.”

“Do you agree?”

“Yes, I definitely agree that feeling that way is justified.  What I’m more concerned about is how that feeling is acted upon.”

“What do you mean?”

“Is the father r
unning off to flay that rapist more important than attending to his bleeding and broken daughter; who is so far traumatized by the experience that she’ll now struggle to properly recover?  What do you think Silas?”