Fake (A Pretty Pill) (6 page)

I’m
smiling.  Shit, I’m smiling.

“
You’re smiling.  Your face is going to break now.” Jade says, mocking me.

“Fuck off
.”

“No really,
I can see a huge crack.  Damn, don’t move Silas, I’ll go and get some help.  I think your whole visage is about to slide clear off.  I need a suture pack and some staples to secure your face to your head.” she states, getting up and ambling over to me in mock distress.

“Shut the fuck up.” I laugh.

“Help.” she begins to shout, but not so loudly either.  “Silas is laughing; his face is falling off and he’s going to need surgical assistance sewing him back together.”

“Jade,
stop being such a moron.” I continue laughing.

A nurse pops her head in and offers a huge grin, before backing away from us.

“You’re going to get us into trouble.” I try to reason.

“So stop behaving like a jolly lunatic
.”

“Get off me woman
.” I scream at her as she sits on me, in my chair.

“I can’t. 
I need to fart.”

“What the fuck?  Get off
.  Get the fuck off of me now.” I squeal, trying to lift her without hurting her.

She farts, “Okay.  I feel better now anyway.”

“Jesus Christ Jade, what did you have for lunch?  Now Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me.”  I gag, yuck.  So, so gross.

She stands up, fluffing her dress out to cut the tail off the smell.
  It makes the smell waft clear up my nose.  I slam my hand into my nose.  She has a genuine mean streak.

“
You’re disgusting.  I hope you didn’t follow through with that one.”

“As if I would
.  I’m a lady.”

“Um, yeah… right
.  I’m telling Ben that you farted.”

“I heard you already.” Ben says, coming through the door.
  “Everyone along the corridor heard.”

“I don’t fart.” Jade says
without guile.

“Ah, you do.” Ben rea
sons, coming over and giving her a peck on the lips and then over to me for a hand shake and half hug.  He curls his lip and scrunches his nose up in disgust at the smell Jade just released.

“That was Silas.” Jade states.

“Nope, that’s you. That’s definitely your brand.” Ben argues.

“I do not have a brand
.” Jade looks shocked.

“You do so.  You fart in your sleep.  Unfortunately I share a bed with you
.” Ben points out.  I’m so glad that I don’t have a farting woman in bed with me.

“I’m pregnant.  It’s your fault
I’m pregnant, and I can’t be held responsible for your son making my body release gas when I’m asleep.” she pouts.

“It’s both of our faults, he’s your son too
; and you can’t help it, but you can claim responsibility for it.” Ben points out.

“You are such an asshole
.” Jade laments.

“Lucky for me, you like assholes.” Ben laughs
, settling into a chair.

“What’s happening Ben?”  I ask.

“Before I tell you my news, the nurse down the corridor tells me that you’ve been smiling.  Apparently that’s illegal currency around here.  It might get you kicked out faster.”

I feel
my face break into another smile, it’s unavoidable now that I’ve already done it once… make that repeatedly now.

“Damn.  It’s so good to have you back
.” Ben says, leaning in for another half hug and clapping me heartily on the back.

“What’s your news?”
I ask.

“I have a placement for you in a private facility in San Luis
Obispo.  We’re selling the house here in LA and we’ll organize accommodation up there when you’re there and are able to move out of the private facility.  It will be a whole new life Silas.” He reasons intently.

Again I smile.

“Wow Ben, they came through?” Jade asks.

“Yeah, they have a placement available September 2
nd, in their mentored transitional program for rehabilitation.”  He smiles.

“That’s just under a month away.” Jade enthuses.

Jade’s due to deliver any day now.  I’ve been anxious about the possibilities of her going into labor in front of me here at Gateways.  I’m fairly sure mental health nurses don’t deliver babies.

“Great
.  Actually, yeah; that does sound good.” I say reflectively.

I could use a new life and surrounds.

Silas.

“So they’re going to let you drive me to a facil
ity hours away with a baby in the back; seated next to me.” I reason to Ben, as he gathers up the meager amount of stuff I have with me at Gateways.

“Yes.”

“And Jade is waiting in the car.” I query.

“Yes.”

“And she’s not chucking a spaz waiting for us to get our asses down there.”

“I have no idea
, I turned my phone off 20 minutes ago after she texted me three times in ten minutes.” He chuckles.

“And tell me again why you love that woman?”

“I can’t tell you everything, but rest assure she keeps things interesting, very interesting.” he smirks.

“How’s being a Dad?”

“Good.”

“Just good?” I ask
a little confused.  I would’ve thought Ben would have something incredible to say.

“When she lets me near the little fella, it’s awesome.  Unfor
tunately, she’s all territorial and doesn’t like to share very often.  So yeah, it’s good.” Ben explains.

“So I won’t get to have a cuddle?” I ask.

He huffs.

“She’s that bad?” I ask incredulously.

He nods raising his eyebrows for added effect.

“Well, you need to get in there Ben, use your elbows or something.  Make her back off.”

“Uhuh.” he huffs again, noncommittally.  “I’d have more chance with a ravenous bear fresh out of hibernation.”

I give him a quizzical look before moving on.

“So, can I call him Benji?” I tease.

“Can I punch you in the face?”

“Oh, come on.  You really want me calling him junior?” I ask.

“You call him junior, and I’ll knee you in the nuts.”

I give him an incredulous look.

“Wow man, parenthood
has really refined your skills of being an asshole.” I argue; walking into the sunshine and out of the main doors for the first time in months.

“You can call him Ben.” Ben states.

“That’s going to get confusing.” I explain.

“He’ll get used to it.  I did.” Ben reasons.

I chuckle.  I have no intention of rocking the boat too much.  But I have already decided to call him Reynolds around Jade.  I just can’t help myself.  I’m in a good mood.  I’m leaving LA and moving on to a new life.  I’m off to San Luis Obispo – a beautiful area, and entering into a program to ease me back into the world.  And despite the fact that I’ll be doing it alone, and I’ve had no contact from Shae this whole time, I’m feeling positive, really positive.

I’m walking alongside Ben, towards a nondescript silver four door sedan.  As I get closer I see a frantic Jade jump out of the back seat and stomp forward.

“She’s all yours.  I’m getting in the car to talk to the little guy.” I explain, quickly removing myself from the ensuing battle.

I haven’t met little Ben yet
because he wasn’t allowed into the acute setting mental health unit.

I ignore the two of them ‘discussing’ their issues, and set about talking to Ben.

“Hey there little guy.” I soothe, settling in and pulling the door closed behind me.  He’s two weeks old now, and he’s awake.  Pumping his little fists and punching himself in the eye.  He’s so cute he makes me feel this groundswell of hope and love.  He’s so tiny too.  I’ve never seen something so beautiful and tiny like this.  I’m enamored by him.

Fuck
it, I’m getting him out of this contraption.

It’s a bit of a mission getting the straps unhooked around his little arms, and lifting him from the basket styled holder
; all the while supporting his head, but I manage. Meanwhile Ben is smirking at me, because he’s seen me interfere with his kid and probably considers I’m in for an extreme reaction from Jade.  But Jade has yet to see me, so I plow on through.

I realize he smells a little, but I don’t care, I just pull him tight to my che
st and cling to his little body while we sit in the air-conditioning.  He’s kind of my flesh and blood.  I’ve wanted to meet him for so long now and I think I’m very much in love with him already.  I can feel him, so helpless lying against my chest.  He’s beautiful.

Jade swings herself around
and marches back to the car completely oblivious to me and little Ben sitting in the back.  Ben goes to the boot and dumps my bag in it.

He
then hops into the driver’s seat.

“Ben, this Toyota
’s a bit of a step down for you; it screams family.” I tell him.

“It’s a hybrid car
.” Jade huffs at me.

“Well Reynolds and I both think it’s a pussy’s car.”
I chuckle.  I got it out there and it’s only been a couple of seconds.  I swear I really miss annoying Jade and I’m going to really enjoy resuming this part of our relationship.

“Who are you calling Reynolds?” Jade turns and stares at me
.  And then she gasps like she’s just seen a huge accident on the highway and several dead people are lying strewn across the road.

“What do you think you’re doing?”
She asks.

“Hanging with my nephew,
aren’t I Reynolds.” I say goadingly.

Ben shakes his head and looks at the floor.

“What the hell?” Jade begins to growl.

“He needs his ass cleaned up too.  He smells like one of your farts Jade.”

Now come on, it was totally worth it.

“Get out
of the car Silas.” Jade growls; I totally get Ben’s reference to a bear now.

“Sure thing mama bear.” I say, hopping out with little Ben in my arms.

Jade’s frantically jumping from the front seat and out of the door she’s just flung open for herself.  If Ben wasn’t a real baby and just a doll; I’m certain she would’ve torn him from my arms immediately.

“Give Ben to me.” she demands.

“No.”

“Give me my baby
.” she begins to growl again.

“
Jade, grow up.  You were the one who was dissing him for the last 9 months, let some of us non-dissers have a go.” I say, turning around and walking to the driver’s door.

Oh shit,
I’m so going to cop this later.

“Ben, get your ass out here and calm your woman down
.  I’m waiting for her to be civil before she gets Ben back.”

Needless to say, it takes 25 minutes for us to get going because Jade is so put out and hormonal.  However, baby Ben gets his necessary clean up and Ben gets to place him back in his seat, because I goad Jade into letting him.

I’d like to believe that I made my point to Jade too.  She really needs to share the little fella.

She’s already had him for nine months.

***

“When do they expect him there?” Jade asks Ben.

“Five.”

“Can we take Ben home?” she asks. 

Little Ben hasn’t seen home yet, he’s been in LA at my place, which is Ben’s place
; the place I trashed that had to be repaired and is now on the market.

“Yeah, we can do that.  Silas can get some more clothes together and have a shower if he wants t
here as well.” Ben suggests.

I agree that it’s a fabulous idea.  I’d like to see some normal again; even if it’s only for an hour or so.

We pull into their driveway at around 3:40 pm.  I’m forbidden to take Ben out of the car, so Jade is trying to grapple the unit as a whole out of the back seat.  I’m helping by offering heartfelt
clapping and laughter from the sidelines, since she refuses to let my hands otherwise near the contraption.

Ben is pulling luggage out of the boot, and he’s otherwise occupied.

And then there’s Jade and Ben’s neighbor, Leslie, trying to get both of their attention.  Instead of standing around waiting to get into the boot and grab some of my stuff, I walk over to the woman I’ve met several times in the past to see what she wants.

“Hello there young man, you’re Jade’s brother, aren’t you
.  I remember meeting you a couple of times.  Do you remember me?”

“Yes, what can I help with?”