Fall Apart (15 page)

“Was Mandy ever—I mean, was she in love with you once?”

Alarik abruptly stopped fidgeting and turned around so he could see Damon’s face. “Why do you ask?”

Damon glanced away, a little bereft at the sudden loss of the other man’s warmth. “I watched the way she was with you. I know you’re just friends and I know you’re gay—what with the kissing men and the outright admission that you are, but it’s hard for me to believe that a girl like Mandy, someone with such a warm, outgoing vibe, wouldn’t fall for you.”

Alarik’s brows gradually lifted in surprise, but to his credit he didn’t back down from the topic. “She knew from the first that I was gay. I didn’t want to find out that she couldn’t handle it if I had a boyfriend I brought home.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t really answer my question,” Damon answered. “It’s not like I’m going to say anything to Luke—I don’t even think anything is wrong if she
did
love you that way. I’m just curious.”

Alarik was as collected as ever, but there was a stiffness to his posture that belied the calm. Probably just being protective of Mandy, Damon thought.

“There is something to be said for meeting someone who understands you, listens to you, and comforts you when needed. You feel like you’ll not find more than a handful of people in life that will be true and love you. So, when you discover it, you make a lot of wishes.” Alarik sighed and pulled his gray gaze to the scenery. “If I could’ve loved her like that, I would have. She’s very good to me. But, that’s not the relationship we were meant to have. I think she would tell you much the same were you to ask her. We love each other deeply and I would never give her up. I cannot be in love with her, though, nor can she with me.”

Todd’s words from the night before about wishing he were gay so they could be together and never have to worry about anything, became incredibly apt. Damon loved his buddies with such strength that he would never let them go, and Alarik was right. It shouldn’t be tossed aside simply because it’s not the
kind
of love he was actively searching for.

“The more you say and don’t say, the more I like you, Alarik.” Damon stood and held out his hand to help the other man up. “Ready to go? I’m starving.”

Alarik stalled for a beat and then met Damon’s eyes. “May I ask
you
something?”

Damon nodded, facing him and keeping a light hold on his hand.

“My friends invited me to their place on Wednesday night. I told them about you and they said to bring you along. Do you work Wednesday afternoon? Would you come with me?”

Damon’s knee-jerk reaction was:
ORGY
. His second thought was:
HELL NO
. His third thought was:
DON’T BE A STUPID ASSHOLE.

“You told them about me?” he almost croaked.

Alarik smiled pleasantly. “Yes. They wanted to know why I was in the area and couldn’t come down sooner.”

“So, they’re not in Ventura or Santa Barbara?”

“L.A. actually.” Alarik squeezed his hand, lifting it to brush a kiss across his knuckles.

Hmm. He’d have to get out of the store early so they could drive down… “I’ll have to see what I can do about work.”

“But you’ll go if that’s all tied up?”

Damon flushed at the pleasure in the other man’s eyes and pretended to be distracted with his gear and harness to hide it. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

“Excellent!” Another kiss was dropped on his knuckles. “You’ll like them. I swear.”

“Who are they exactly?”

Alarik winked. “Just friends, Damon.”

Great. An orgy.

Todd and Franco squeezed past the line of people waiting at the hostess stand, throwing back dirty looks that silenced any complaints from the crowd, and wound their way through the restaurant to the table where Damon and Alarik were waiting. Todd worked for an accounting firm and it was clear he’d spent the morning yanking at his collar. His tie looked frustrated, like if it could speak, it would be saying, “Fuck it.” Franco, on the other hand, owned a construction company that was just finishing the framing for a new apartment complex in town and he was in his usual good spirits.

“Good to see you again, pal,” Franco declared at the sight of Alarik, grabbing his hand and shaking it like a jackhammer. Alarik went along with it, then offered his hand to Todd for a much more sedate greeting.

“Day, you think your folks need a stock boy? Someone to vacuum the store, clean windows?” Todd said to Damon after bumping him on the shoulder in hello.

“If they do, that means I’m fired, but they probably need a new accountant…”

Todd shuddered. “Screw that. I want to organize shoes and change out fluorescent light bulbs.”

“It’s bad as all that, is it?” Alarik asked.

“Worse! Look at this suit. I have to wear one of these five days a week and this new style is all up in my nuts, hanging out. Gonna start a fire at a meeting some afternoon when I cross my legs trying to stay awake.”

Franco got a kick out of that, laughing and simultaneously making a complex series of hand gestures to signal for a round of what Damon and Alarik were drinking.

“How ‘bout you, Franco?” Damon asked. “Still off the cigarettes?”

Franco patted his shoulder patch. “Yeah. Sandra keeps walking through the house saying shit like, ‘Do you crave? Yes. Do you cave? No.’” He rolled his eyes. “She’s got me taking vitamins and drinking goddamn tea, so I’m pissing every ten minutes—no offense, Alarik. The tea ain’t bad.”

“On behalf of the Queen and her subjects, I’m pleased to hear that.”

Franco grinned like he was impressed. “You’re a punk. I like that.”

“And I like a man who doesn’t make me wait around for a meal after I’ve been forced to commune with nature.” He gave a pointed look and Franco made some more hand signals to their usual server. He ordered a huge plate of nachos—if Damon read his sign language correctly.

“You guys went out to commune with nature?” Franco asked, eyes glinting. “Does that mean what I think it means?”

“Don’t start. This is a family establishment.” Damon gave him a warning look.

Todd asked where they’d gone and Alarik supplied the answer. Beneath the table, Damon felt a nudge against his knee and met Todd’s eyes. His friend was checking to see if he was ready to bolt. Damon gave his best
I’ve-got-everything-under-control
face and Todd smirked in return.
Yeah, right
.

“We still on for La Jolla this Saturday?” Todd asked, unashamedly dragging a handful of Franco’s nachos to his own plate. Strings of melted cheese stretched across the table and Franco interrupted to complain.

“I might have to work Saturday morning because of a schedule change on Wednesday. If dad takes the shift, then I’ll take his on Saturday morning. We could try Sunday.”

Todd glanced at Alarik, who was innocently chewing on a fry, and then back to Damon. Franco was still grumbling about losing the bulk of his cheese.

“Don’t back out on me, man,” Todd pleaded. “I’m supposed to run in a 10K with a couple idiots from work on Sunday. I need to go far away from the office and this godforsaken suit. Let’s do manly things. We can chop a tree down, wrestle mountain lions, chase lizards. What’s so big about Wednesday that you have to change everything?”

Damon couldn’t help the involuntary look at Alarik, and Alarik returned a smug little smile. Todd watched silently while Franco’s eyes did a round robin of the table.

“Are you guys in
love
?” Franco purred. “Do I have to go to another wedding and wear pastels? Do me a favor and kiss in front of me so I can’t get used to it now.”

Alarik flicked him in the shoulder. “Don’t scare Damon,” he shot back, winking across the table. “I barely managed to convince him that you two should join us for lunch.”

Franco blew a kiss at him. “You got any sisters? Toddy Boy could use a sexy British woman to set his feet back on the path to righteousness. I hear when they do a job, they do it
right
.”

Alarik chuckled into his beer. “I wouldn’t know. They will, however, take the piss out of him if he gets too…” He pointed at Todd, searching for the best word. “…too Toddlike. My aunt would make mincemeat of him.”

Todd didn’t even pretend to be offended. “I
am
a handful—no, wait—I’m
two
handfuls.” He stood halfway and cupped his hands in front of himself. “Two great, big handfuls.”

A woman sitting with her toddler across the aisle glared and Todd winked at her, uncupping and waving both hands. “How ya doin’?” he said.

Damon laughed. He loved this version of Todd best. “Sit down, you’re making Franco look good.”

Todd returned to his seat, reaching across the table to lay his hand on top of Alarik’s. He gave it a gentle squeeze. “I want you to know that I technically proposed to Day last night because I’m pretty sure he’s my only remaining chance at happiness. I consider the fact that I’m completely unattracted to men only a very slight obstacle.”

Damon gave up and took a mighty swig of his beer. “This is turning into a nightmare. What’d I tell you, Alarik?”

His date ignored him, flipping his hand and wrapping his fingers around Todd’s. “Todd. You are an attractive, difficult, straight man, and
I
put my life on the line for a simple picture of ‘Day’ today. I’ll fight for him.”

Franco held up his hands, separating them. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What
kind
of picture?”

“Bare ass naked, Franco,” Damon drawled. “The spread eagle. That camera saw things that even God has only a passing acquaintance with.”

“I hope you flexed your butt cheeks,” Franco offered, twisting in his chair like he was doing a sexy butt shot and pointed at his ass. “You want that dimple…right…here.” The woman across from them sniffed loudly and Franco turned her way with an inquisitive look. “Trust me on this one,” he stage whispered.

“Alright, alright. Leave it alone before we get kicked out.” This was way too much nuts and butts conversation. Damon mouthed an apology at the woman who clearly did not forgive them; her glowering face the giveaway.

Franco leaned back in his chair and eyeballed Todd. Alarik noticed and followed suit, and Damon noticed Alarik, so, soon all eyes were on the man.

“What?” he snapped around a bite of nacho.

“I—excuse me—
we
,” Franco amended, “would like to know what is going on with you and Valerie. Sandra is disappointed in you.”

“What’s new?”

“Are you
with
Mandy’s sister?”

Damon didn’t stop Franco from pressing because he was equally interested, but he tried to pretend it wasn’t a big deal, like he didn’t care about the answer one way or another. He ended up with his beer lifted to his lips, forgetting he was supposed to take a drink.

Todd sifted through his nachos with a finger and waffled a bit. “Mmmehh.”

“What’s that mean?”

“No. It means no. She wants to date, I don’t. And I’ve never let her believe I wanted more, either.”

“Why not?” Franco kept pushing.

“For God’s sake,” Todd growled. “What’s with the interest?”

“It’s the
untouchable
Valerie Thackerey. She comes across cold and hard, and
you
convinced her to leave that restaurant with you. You also convinced her to get naked with you. Then, the next day, you kissed her in front of everyone for Alarik’s picture.” He swept a hand Alarik’s direction and the photographer quickly found interest in the restaurant’s architecture.

The bite Todd was going to take ended up slapped back down on his plate. “I kissed her
for
the picture. I went home with her because it was
her
idea, not mine, and I thought: ‘Why not? I’m a responsible adult. We could have some fun.’”

“So that’s it?”

Todd was reaching his limit with Franco’s curiosity. As Damon was about to step in and diffuse, Todd covered his face with both hands and grumbled in frustration. “This is like the twenty goddamn conversations I’ve had with
her
since Friday night,” he bit the words off. “She calls and sighs into the phone like she’s so confused, when I’ve been painfully up front about what I think.

“She’s nicer than she seems, but it shouldn’t take someone four martinis to go from frigid to
mildly
polite. I don’t want to take on all the emotion packed under that ice—and believe me, there’s plenty of it. I sound like a dick,” Todd continued. “I get that, but she needs to figure out her crap on her own. Is she hot? Yes. Is she a train wreck? Absolutely. The last thing we need to combine is the cesspool of my past with all the
feelings
she’s got pressurized under her skin.”

“She’s gone that crazy after
one
night with you?” Franco’s voice rose in surprise. “Well done, man.”

“You should see my fucking call log.”

Franco shook his head. “At least you told her what to expect.”

“Yeah and telling the truth never sucks…” Todd shivered and pushed his chair back, his appetite dissolving before their eyes. “I’ve gotta get back to Hades and count beans for the next four hours.” He opened his wallet and left some bills on the table. “Like I said, Day, don’t leave me hanging this weekend. My life is in your hands.”

“La Jolla. Saturday. I’ll take my mom’s shifts to balance it out.”

An odd look flashed across Todd’s face and in a move too fast to track, he grabbed Damon with both hands on either side of his face and pressed a close-mouthed kiss to his lips. Damon was too stunned to breathe, but when he blinked back to reality, Todd had pulled away a few inches.

“Goddammit!” he cursed. “I didn’t feel a fucking thing.” His eyes flashed from disappointment back to amused resignation, but when Alarik’s hand snapped closed around his wrist, he froze.

“Hands off, if you please,” Alarik spoke up. His voice was controlled, but there was an edge to it that Damon hadn’t heard before.

Todd was struck by the commanding tone and slowly straightened, releasing his hold on Damon and twisting his wrist out of Alarik’s grip. “Easy,
007
.”

Alarik cocked an eyebrow and very purposefully dropped his hand to Damon’s where it rested on the tabletop. Somewhere between that move and Todd’s snort of impatience, Damon’s heart began pounding. He was pretty sure it was the cocked eyebrow that gave him the hard on, though. Todd was harmless, they all knew that, but Alarik was still making a strong statement.