Fall For Me (3 page)

“What’s up?” I finally asked. “Why are you acting so freaky? What’s wrong?”

Finally, he told me. He and Bianca kissed last night.

“Zoey, I’m so sorry,” he said, truly sounding tormented. “It was a total mistake. It’s just—she was teasing me because I’d never kissed another girl besides you before.” He leaned his head against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut. “And … I don’t know … it just … happened.”

I went home after that and curled into a tight ball on my bedroom floor and bawled.

Finn kept calling, but I kept not answering.

Finally, he texted.
Zoey, I’m so sorry.
I know what I did was wrong and horrible. And unforgivable. I can’t even ask you to forgive me. But … I want you to try. Please? Will you please try? I love you so much. I don’t want to lose you. Especially not over this—a stupid kiss. It didn’t mean anything
.

After reading his text, I fell asleep on the floor, exhausted from crying.

An hour later, Finn texted again.

Do the same, Zoey—kiss someone. I want you to, okay? So we can be even. You’ve never kissed another guy besides me. You have to be curious. So … it’s a Free Pass. Kiss someone Zoey … so you can forgive me. So we can start over—on level ground. Please?

The next day I wasn’t quite so emotional and distraught and actually slightly conversed with Finn when he came to my house. We talked and cried and hugged and fought, and in the end I forgave him. Sort of. Pretty much.

“I meant what I said about the Free Pass,” Finn whispered in my ear as he held me tight in his arms. “I want you to kiss someone—so you don’t feel taken advantage of or betrayed.”

I let out a sigh. If only it were that easy. If only kissing another guy could help me not feel betrayed. But things didn’t work like that. And I
had
been betrayed. Still, I didn’t want to fight with Finn about it anymore. He felt horrible about what happened. He did. I knew that. But this “Free Pass” wasn’t going to help things. Or anyway, it wouldn’t help me. I mean, it wouldn’t make me feel any better about what happened. But apparently, it would help Finn. Or he hoped it would. He hoped if I kissed someone it could ease his conscience. Help him not feel so guilty. But you know, I wasn’t sure I wanted to help ease his conscience or help him not feel guilty.

***

 
The next few days at work, things were back to normal with Riley, as though nothing had happened or been revealed. Only now I would notice him watching me, catch him staring at me when he thought I didn’t notice.

But he still totally avoided me as much as possible, so I was surprised when one day he talked to me of his own accord, telling me I’d make more tips if I wore my hair down.

“Hm?” I’d been getting drinks for table ten. He’d caught me completely off-guard.

“I’m just saying.” He raised his eyebrows. “You could work your assets more to your advantage.”

“My assets?”

“You just kind of—seem to hide them.”

Them?

I walked off then, not out of anger or indignation or anything like that. We were just busy; I had customers waiting for me. But after talking to him, I did notice that a lot of the other girls totally primped for work and showed off their cleavage (gag!)—worked their assets. Still, yuck, it just wasn’t me.

But then, weirdly, I tried it out the next day anyway, just to see. Instead of putting my long hair in a tight ponytail as I usually did for work, I wore it loose and down. And it did bring in more tips. But I noticed Riley noticing and it made me feel funny.

I went behind a corner in the kitchen and quickly pinned my hair up in a messy bun, but when I looked up, there was Riley across the room, watching me mess with my hair. He quickly looked away, talking with a busboy as though he hadn’t been staring. But he had. It filled me with a strange feeling—a mixture of feelings, really. But the strangest was power. It was like I had power, over Riley. And, of course, I liked that idea, liked it a lot, but it was weird because I’d always thought of Riley as tough, unobtainable and indestructible. So, realizing he had “feelings” … for me … it left me confused.

Actually, my new “Free Pass” status confused me anyway. I’d been with Finn forever. I’d never been single, so never really noticed guys. Or noticed that they noticed me. But now everything was different. Guys were different. Riley was different, so different than what I’d always thought. Suddenly, I didn’t know how to behave. I got so much “eye” attention; I found myself needing to hide.

It was weird.

Everything was weird.

Learning that Riley didn’t hate me, that he actually
liked
me, left me feeling intoxicated, like I was on a roller coaster—up in the air and out of control. And though it was an exciting feeling, it was also scary. Had me nervous and feeling guilty. It made me sort of wish I didn’t know about Riley’s feelings. Though, truth be told, I still didn’t really
know
. I mean, did he like me just a little … or a lot? I wondered.

A few days later, though, I sort of got an inkling. When I got to work, the girls pulled me aside.

“Riley’s in his office,” Porcha said. “He’s really down.”

“Ava dumped him.” Megan frowned. “Really, truly chose College-Boy.”

“And he’s sad?” I didn’t realize Riley cared so much. He was kind of a player when it came to girls—went through them really quick … except Ava. I guess she was “The One” when it came to Riley. It kind of made my heart sink a little though, ‘cause Ava was a witch.

“Yeah,” Porcha said. “So, we figured maybe you could go in there and cheer him up.”

“Me?!”

“Yeah. He likes you—a lot,” Porcha said. “Here take off your shirt.” She started unbuttoning the crisp white blouse that we all wore as part of our restaurant’s uniform, stripping me down to the tank top I wore underneath. “He likes you in your tank top.”

“Yeah,” Megan agreed with a little laugh. “He stares at you after closing when you’re cleaning in it. He like, drools.”

“He does?!” I don’t know what astounded me more, learning this, or the way Megan and Porcha were acting, as though we were all dear friends. I mean, usually they were griping at me and swiping my orders.

They put my hair down and fluffed it up, then Porcha led me to Riley’s office. I froze in front of the closed door. “What am I supposed to say?”

“Don’t say anything.” Porcha grinned. “Just show a little leg.”

Megan knocked on the door, then both she and Porcha ran off, leaving me holding a soda.

“Come in,” Riley called.

I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“I heard about Ava,” I blurted out as soon as I entered his office. I said it really quick and loud as I was flustered because Riley looked so surprised to see me. I mean, I never, ever go up to his office, ever. “Riley, I’m so sorry. Here, I brought you a soda. Do you want me to order you a burger or steak or something?”

“No. I’m okay. Thanks.”

He didn’t sound okay. Or look okay. He looked and sounded hurt. I sprang over to him and started rubbing his shoulders. He has super nice shoulders. I didn’t actually realize how much I liked them until I started rubbing them. Then I was like,
Oh!

“Hey, Jones, unless you’re planning to start macking with me, you should probably stop.”

I jumped away from him, my heart ricocheting.

“Oh. Sorry,” I said really loud as I was flustered. And a dork. “I was just trying to make you feel better.”

“Yeah. Well, thanks for the coke … and the tank top.”

Gasp, he noticed!

“Do you want me to help you with that?” I asked, referring to the stuff he was working on at his computer. “You can tell me the numbers and I’ll punch them in.”

He sat back in his chair. “Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, working?”

I sat down beside him, angling the monitor toward me. “No. Everyone’s got me covered. They sent me in here. We’re supposed to be making out.”

Riley just stared at me, maybe wondering why we weren’t, maybe not, I don’t know. Did he know about the Free Pass? I wasn’t sure. Finn tells him everything. But did he tell him that?

I just stared at the computer, ignoring any awkwardness. I waited a while. Finally, Riley started reading off the numbers. When we were finished everything balanced, which seemed to impress Riley, which was, you know, nice.

We sat around talking a bit. I was jabbering away about my little brother and sister. That always seemed to make him smile, and I was supposed to be cheering him up, so I went into one story after another. Riley listened with a grin, looking all interested and enchanted—like my stories were cute—so that only encouraged me.

“Look, Jones,” Riley said after a few hundred stories, “I’m going to start making moves on you in a second. So, unless you want that, you should probably go out there and start waitressing.”

My heart started thumping all spazzy.

I bit my lip.

Hmm. Moves on me from Riley, or waitressing? In my mind the words “Free Pass” flashed in neon. ‘Cause lately I’d felt neglected by Finn—totally un-special. And I’d never been kissed by anyone but Finn, ever. Ever, ever. Plus, this was Riley. Riley! The guy I’d been fantasizing about kissing all summer.

I swallowed. “Moves? You have moves?”

Riley grinned. “Yeah. I have a couple.” He came in close, sounding genuinely surprised, but also seductive. “Do you want to see some of my moves?” His face was so close to mine, our lips brushed.

“Do you, Zoey?” His sexy, soft, pink lips hovered over mine, teasing me.

Mmmmm.

I closed my eyes, hungry to have them press against my mouth, hot and hard—for real. But just as they were about to make actual, true contact, I slammed out of my trance, jerking away from him as though he was on fire, slamming into reality. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t. I wasn’t cut out for Free Passes. I had a boyfriend and it would feel like cheating—totally cheating—if I let Riley kiss me—whether Finn allowed it or not.

Riley rubbed his chin, silently watching me scurry away from him.

At the door, I struggled to catch my breath.

“I better get back to work,” I said in a small voice,

Riley’s gaze flitted to the space I’d put between us, then up into my eyes. He cleared his throat, running his hands through his hair. “I think I’m done for the day.” His lips quirked. “I need to go take a cold shower.”

Yeah, I knew the feeling.

***

That office incident with Riley was too much for me. It really was. Now every night I would go to bed and have fantasies involving Riley—crazy, weird, freaky fantasies—all with him ending up taking off his shirt. So, work became embarrassing. Whenever I saw Riley I’d blush and stutter and drop things. It was pathetic. It made me avoid him, just like he used to (well, actually, still did) avoid me.

However …

Finn and I seemed to be getting along better these days. After the night he kissed Bianca, he stopped talking about her incessantly. In fact, he stopped talking about her at all. So that was a plus. But still, we seemed sort of … off. Not like we used to be. Finn was kind of distant.

I tried talking to him about it one night as we were writing a song for his and Riley’s band. But Finn didn’t seem to want to discuss it.