Fall Gently (Red Light: Silver Girls series) (19 page)

She pulled her head back. "I don't think I’m finished. I like this."

"Carry on," he said with a chuckle.

She stilled. "Are you laughing at me."

"No." He opened his eyes and lifted his head. "It's the best feeling in the world to have your hands on me and every time you move, you rub against my cock. But, if you expect to have sex maybe you can undo my pants and give me a little more room."

"Oh." She laughed softly, scooting back and pulling on his belt to loosen it. "I wasn't thinking."

"You don't need to think." He lifted his hips when she finished unzipping him. "Pull the jeans down a bit."

She lifted her butt off him and tugged on his pants taking his boxers, too. His cock sprang out. She sat back on her ass again and stared down at his hardness, pulsating and big.

Used to seeing covered dicks, she reached out and wrapped her hand around his girth. His hips shot forward, and she raised her gaze to his face. He held his head up with his hands and watched her touching him.

His skin, velvety soft. Yet, his cock was strong, hard, impressive.

The patience and adoration in his relaxed expression tightened all the muscles in her lower stomach, and she squirmed on his thighs. Men loved blowjobs.

"I-I don't want to put my mouth on you. Not yet," she said.

"I only want what you're comfortable doing." Dawson propped himself up on his elbows.

She tilted her head to the side and kept looking at him. Planning to have sex with him was harder than she thought it would be. The awkwardness and even his laidback attitude started to irritate her.

Except, her body continued to hum, and she wanted to have sex. What she didn't want was to have sex without him touching her. It was his attraction to her, that can't stop feeling, that set him apart from everyone else and aroused her.

"Dawson?" She swung her leg over him, sat on the bed beside him, and took her hands off him. "This isn't what I want."

"What isn't?"

"This. You and me." She wrapped her arms around her middle. "Everything."

Her heartbeat filled the silence in the room. Her head throbbed with the pent-up feelings gathering in her stomach. Physically, she could have sex.

Emotionally, trying to distract Dawson from who she was—a prostitute—drained all the enjoyment out of the moment.

D
awson sat up and kicked his shoes and jeans off to bend his knees. His balls ached. He wasn't sure how many days and nights he could go through wanting her and walking away.

Roni was into touching him. He could feel the warmth coming from her pussy and onto him. She couldn't fake that shit.

"What is it you want me to do?" he asked.

Roni rubbed her eyes and crossed her legs. "You're going to think I'm completely nuts. We've spent the last half hour going back and forth for nothing and still haven't had sex."

He remained quiet. At a loss on how to help her or convince her everything would be okay, he picked up her hand and held on. He'd expected her to have problems letting herself open to him. Used to men abusing her, hurting her, taking from her, he believed letting her call the shots would let her regain the power she'd lost.

"I do appreciate you holding back and giving me the opportunity to experience what it could be like in a normal situation." She shrugged and shook her head. "I'm messed up in more ways than I realized, Dawson."

He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles.

She sighed, and her gaze landed on him full of sadness. "Totally messed up."

"You're too hard on yourself. Give yourself—"

"You don't understand." She groaned. "You want the truth?"

"Yeah."

She pulled her hand away from his grasp. "I've only known how to be the recipient of a man's sexual needs. I've never been a participant. I've spent years living in fear, losing myself, because I was afraid to speak out for what I wanted or to say no. Especially, no. There were times in my situation and what I needed to do about getting away was so clear in my head and other times where I gave up. I gave up all the time because leaving was more dangerous. Then, you walked into my life and offered me the exact opposite of what every other man has done for me and on the outside, it felt wonderful. It still feels wonderful. On the inside, in my head, there's something about me—maybe my past, I don't know—that doesn't want to be in the position where I'm the one taking sex from you. It makes me feel...no different than the powerful head trip I watched my stepdad and Vince go through when they forced me to have sex."

"That's not how I wanted to make you feel."

"I know, and that breaks my heart that in the process you're trying everything to please me and forgetting about yourself. I've been there. It's not the right way. Even when I was abused, there was always a buildup and a letdown. It was during those letdowns that I found it easier to be stronger because the violence was over. Except, my being strong only added on to the tension until it grew insurmountable and he snapped." She stroked his jaw. "And, I’m here making things difficult for you, making you tense, while you've been perfect in every way. Do you know that?"

He stood from the bed. Stripped of all his clothing and scalded with her opinion of him, he wanted her to take back what she'd said.

She had no fucking clue how wrong her assessment of him was or how he wanted to have sex with her knowing he was the last man who should be in her life.

"I've upset you," she said.

He stopped and faced the bed and her. "No."

She untangled her legs and stood from the bed in front of him. "I truly believe that what I feel for you doesn't come from any sense of payment for rescuing me. Back at Red Light, what you represented scared me. But it was you, the man who kept coming and sitting in my room, talking with me, showing me each time that it was okay to relax and trust that you had my best interest at heart, that got my attention. It was then that I started feeling excitement knowing you were coming to my room. When you touched me, I let myself imagine what it would be to have your hands on other places on my body. I could imagine how wonderful it would be and every time that craving to find out more about you, see more, touch more, only became stronger until I couldn't ignore what was happening anymore. Does that make me sick to want you to have sex with me after everything I've been through?"

He hooked her neck with his hand. "No, sweetheart. It makes you normal."

She gasped for breath, staring up into his eyes. Her vulnerability at an all-time high as she pushed through the shield she'd built around herself and discovered inside that her heart beat in her chest with the same desires as everyone else.

She wanted to be loved and needed. He wanted to love her and show her every damn day how completely normal and lovable she was.

He had to have her spell it out because he wanted no misunderstandings. His hands shook. "You tell me to stop. I'll stop. I don't care if I have my cock inside you."

She nodded leaning toward him.

He captured her mouth, pulling her into him, and she kissed him like she hadn't been with him every second of the day since they arrived in Seattle. He backed her to the bed, until her legs hit the mattress, and then he scooped her up and laid her down.

Without stopping, he rolled between her legs and continued kissing her. The only part of him touching her, besides his mouth, were his thighs holding up the back of her legs. Pinned to the bed, she had one thing to focus on. Him.

He pulled out of the kiss gently, reached over to the nightstand, and grabbed a condom out of the drawer. Hopeful he could go longer, he set the protection on the bed and put his mouth on her neck.

A soft 'whoa' came from Roni. He would've chalked it up to a gust of exhaled air if not for the fact her chest quivered underneath him. She liked what he was doing. She liked it so much; he wanted to give everything he had to offer her.

Trailing a path of kisses down her neck, her shoulder, he rubbed his cheek and mouth against the plushness of her breast. His cock recovered from the serious talk and hardened against her thigh.

He shifted onto one hand and lowered his right hand down her hip, testing her reaction. She lifted her ass, pushing into his touch, and he caressed her stomach going down to her pussy he knew was shaved, wet, waiting for him.

Raising his mouth from her breast, he kissed her while he slid a finger between her lower lips and spread her moisture over her pussy. His cock, harder than a rock, pulsed, and he parted his lips and thrust his tongue inside her mouth.

Fuck, yeah. She latched on sucking, dueling, kissing, tasting him.

A growl erupted from deep in his chest. He took the kiss further while he plunged his finger inside her pussy. Aware of every little move and sound, even Roni's breathing, his urge to thrust inside her body overrode everything. Even his need to go slow and let her get used to him.

He found the small nub between her legs and rubbed her clit softly. Around and around, until her hips moved up and down seeking the pressure she needed. His cock throbbed. Almost painfully good he wanted to grab the condom. He had no idea how long he'd last before he exploded, he only wanted Roni to come before he tried to enter her.

He kissed the side of her mouth, lowered his head while arching his back, and latched on to her breast. He sucked, drawing her peaked nipple into his mouth, stroking her tit with his tongue.

Roni shuddered underneath him, and her hand found his shoulder. Encouraged that she was losing herself in pleasure, he scooted down, placing kisses on her belly before putting his mouth on her pussy.

He closed his eyes, unprepared for how fucking unbelievable it was to be between her legs, making her his. He cupped her ass, drawing her up to his mouth. She widened her legs, and he plunged his tongue inside of her. Her inner muscles squeezed on to him. The base of his spine pulsed drawing his balls tight to his body. It'd been so fucking long since he'd had any pleasure, having it with Roni was almost too much to bear.

He drew her clit between his lips until she bucked against his face. Losing his control, knowing he'd blow his load with the slightest touch, he circled her nub with his tongue and concentrated on bringing her release.

Roni flung her hands out to her side and grabbed the comforter. He brought his knees up higher and got his cock off the bed. Any motion only tormented him more.

"Oh, God," she whispered. "Dawson?"

He couldn't answer her without losing contact with her pussy. Instead, he grunted against her flesh.

The added vibration increased Roni's gasp, and he groaned without stopping the steady strokes of his tongue.

Roni's hips danced underneath him. Her thighs tightened on his head, holding him captive. Fuck no, she had no worries about him stopping.

Then, she arched her back, holding her ass off the bed, and quivered hard with her release. He slowed his tongue, soothing her down, and let her take every second of pleasure until her butt dropped back on the bed and her knees widened and fell to the mattress.

He lifted his head, wiped his face on his bicep, and grabbed the condom. In a hurry, his hands shook, and he lifted the wrapper to his teeth and ripped it open.

Roni's hand landed on his wrist, and she sat up. "Let me," she whispered.

He couldn't look. He wouldn't look.

He looked.

Her slim hands fumbled with the condom, and he wondered if he could hold it together long enough for him to get inside of her and he quickly lost the thought when she rolled the latex down his length. His hips thrust sending his cock toward her.

Roni placed her hands on his thighs and leaned in and kissed his stomach. His cock pulsed at her warm, wet lips on his skin.

Confident she was relaxed and open to him continuing, he leaned forward, guiding her down on her back without giving her time to think.

She stared up into his face. A gorgeous smile, more relaxed and aroused than he'd ever seen on her. Her encouragement gave him all the confidence that he'd done everything right.

"Hi," she whispered, followed by a laugh.

Her silliness squeezed his heart.

He'd done that.

He'd put a smile in her soul and swore on his life, right then, he would do everything possible to keep her looking at him that way. As if he was the purpose of her living.

He glanced down the length of his body, and his cock bobbed, searching for the sweet spot. "Sweetheart, hold on."

Roni wrapped her arms around his neck. He lowered his hips and found her entrance on instinct. His balls tightened, and he pitched forward, sliding easily into the tightest, wettest, most exotic pussy of his fucking life.

Her eyes rolled back before she moaned. Her tightness gripped him, and he slowly withdrew and thrust, retracted and plunged.

His lungs squeezed, and he sucked in air, working like a piston, back and forth. Lost in the pleasure spreading throughout his whole body before gathering between his legs, he soaked in every moan, every writhe, every gasp, every look Roni gave hinting that she would come again.

"That's it, sweetheart." He dropped down to his elbows rocking against her.

His dick spasmed deep in her body and Roni muffled her squeal of pleasure against his shoulder, and he lost it.

Right there.

Inside her.

His toes curled, and he pressed down, shooting the motherlode of cum. The pulses in the base of his cock kept going. One after another. He grunted in swift release and lost his strength. Rolling to his side, he took her with him, not ready to leave her body yet or ever.

Roni laid her head on his chest. He breathed in deep, trying to catch enough air to do more than lay there and smile like a fucking idiot.

He cupped the back of her neck. "Are you okay?"

She nodded against him. "I knew you were perfect," she whispered.

A heaviness settled in his chest at her statement, and he closed his eyes. In his hope to help her. To help himself. Having sex with Roni only set her up for disappointment.

He could go to his grave keeping his secret and never let her be the wiser, but she deserved more. She needed to know what he brought with him to a relationship. A relationship he'd started when he'd walked into Red Light and refused to be chased away.