Fall On Me (16 page)

I shook my head and sighed. "Did I flip
what?" I was about to flip something alright…I was about to flip
out on my stupid fuck of a brother for worrying me, and me in turn
for worrying Lee. God, I was so stupid sometimes. She rolled her
eyes at me and sighed that way women do when they know something
you don't, but think you should. "What?" I asked defensively.

"The mattress," she squealed. "Did you check
under her mattress? She always kept a journal. I think she used to
keep in the drawer of her vanity table, but maybe she moved it when
they broke up...Oh my god, Kyle." She paused at looked up at the
house before turning back to face me. Her gaze met mine and the
excitement I saw glittering in her eyes was something I hadn’t seen
in months. "What if her journal really is in there? We could find
out what she was thinking…"

"No," I said in a firm tone. She didn't need
to be building her hopes up. That room held nothing that could help
anyone. Cam was dead. Her stuff was gone. She'd moved out weeks
before she died. There was nothing in there. It was over.

"Kyle," Lee said desperately as she pulled
her legs underneath herself and knelt on her seat facing me.
"Please. Please just check for me. I am begging you to check under
the mattress. Just this once, please?" Lee batted her big, gray
eyes at me and I knew I was screwed. Aw shit…

"Fine," I grumbled as I opened the door and
climbed out. "But you have to promise me that you won't let this
drag you down." I rested my arm on the car door and leaned down so
I could see her face. She looked entirely too excited about this
and I didn't want to be the one to break her spirits. What good
could come from Cam's journal even if we did find it?

Why did it matter to her?

It meant nothing to me.

Whatever was written inside of it was her own
private thoughts. I didn't want to go messing with that. No way. I
a hard enough time cracking the thought process of my living
fiancée. My dead friend's mind wasn't a place I ever wanted to
go.

"I'll do this once, Lee," I said in a firm
tone. "But just once. It's not fair on you, me or Derek to drag
this shit back up. We need to move on, princess."

"Okay," she agreed quickly, too quickly,
which meant she hadn't listened to a word I said.

Closing the door of the car I had the biggest
urge to kick something as I made my way up the steps to the porch.
This was a bad idea. A really bad fucking idea. I knocked a couple
of times before trying the door handle. It creaked open. Derek
hadn't even locked the door.

Jesus.

I made my way down the hallway and paused at
her door. I didn't want to do this, didn't want to go in there. It
felt wrong. I felt like I was breaking the law. "Cam, if you can
hear me, then you already know that
none
of this was my
idea," I muttered into thin air before putting my hand on the door
knob. "So, just don't go haunting my ass, okay?"

Twisting the door knob, I slowly opened her
door and stood in her doorway for a moment. It was exactly as I
knew it would be. Empty, with the exception of her bed and a couple
of boxes thrown on top of it. The neon pink walls of her bedroom
were devoid of the numerous photographs that used to clutter them.
Her window sill, that once held more beauty products than a
pharmacy, was now empty.

She was gone.

I worked quickly and quietly as I deposited
the boxes on her floor before lifting her heavy ass mattress. I'd
barely glanced underneath when a voice drilled in my ears, freezing
me to the spot.

"What are you doing in here?"

Shit.

Turning my head, I came face to face with a
very pissed looking Derek. Dropping the mattress back down, I
scratched my head and attempted to look confused. It wasn't a hard
look considering I was confused as hell right now. "Hey, Derek," I
said sheepishly. "How's…Kevin?"

"You're selling the house, aren't you?" he
demanded as he stood in the doorway with arms at his sides and his
hands fisted.

What?
"What makes you say that?" I
asked as my brain went into overdrive as I strived to find a good
enough lie to get my ass out of this mess. He'd crack if he thought
there was a journal of Cam's hanging around the place. I didn't
want him going frantic on me. Jesus, he was only starting to talk
again. This could put him back fifty paces.

"You're in her room," he snarled, stepping
forward. "Touching her stuff." He stepped closer until there was
less than two feet between us. "Tossing her things around like
they're worthless. You can't sell it, Kyle. You promised. You
fucking promised me."

"Calm down," I coaxed as I placed my hand on
his shoulder. "I'm not selling the h…"

His fist came up before I had a chance to
block it and landed on my jaw. I turned my head and spat the blood
that was pooling in my mouth on the floor. "You good?" I snapped.
"Or do you need to do it again?"

He hit me again, harder this time. "Hit me
back, Kyle," he roared. "Hit me. Fucking hit me."

"No," I said calmly as he slammed my back
against the bedroom wall. I kept my hands by my sides. I wasn't
going to react. I wasn't going to fight him. If he burst my skull
open, I wasn't going to lay a hand on him. Everyone needed a scape
goat at one time or another. He'd been mine on enough occasions. It
was my turn to be his.

"Hit me," he roared as his voice broke. I
didn't. I just took his beating. "Please…just fucking hit me,
Kyle," he begged as he slammed my shoulders against the wall.

"Get it out, buddy," I coaxed. "Get it all
out."

Derek dropped his hands from my throat and
staggered backwards, shaking violently. "I'm sorry," he whispered
in a shocked tone of voice. "I'm so fucking sorry, dude." He sank
to the floor and wrapped his arms around his knees.

"Derek," I whispered as I knelt down beside
him. "Der, it's okay, man."

"I hit you," he hissed as he rocked back and
forth, pulling at his hair. "I could've broken you jaw."

"Dude, I have a head like a rock," I joked,
in an attempt to console him. "It's gonna take more than a few
bitch slaps from you to break me." I was lying. My jaw was killing
me and I was pretty sure he'd loosened some teeth.

"He ran away," he whispered.

"Who did?" I asked.

"Kevin." He looked at me with tear-filled
eyes. "He left me…" Staggering to his feet, he backed away from me
slowly. "You need to stay away from me, too," he whispered. "I'm a
fucking train-wreck." With that he turned on his heel and bolted
from the room.

"See what you did to him, Cam?" I muttered as
I pulled myself to my feet. "You really did a number on him, pretty
girl."

****

"Was it there?" Lee called out as I stalked
back to the car.

"No," I growled as I swung the car door open.
"Like I said. Everything's gone."

"What happened to your face?" she cried out
the minute I sat into the car. Scrambling across the seat, she
climbed onto my lap and started stroking my face gently. "Your lip
is bleeding…Kyle, what happened to you?" Her fingers froze on my
cheek and she blanched. "Oh my god, is your jaw swelling…"

"Relax, baby. I'm fine," I coaxed as I pried
her hands from my face and held them in between our bodies. "A
loose bedspring popped up and cracked me in the face." The image of
Derek crumpled on the floor invaded my mind. What the hell was I
going to do with him…

"A loose bedspring?" She furrowed her brow
and fixed her incredulous gaze on me. "A bedspring just happened to
jump off the bed and attack you?"

"That's what I said happened, so that's what
fucking happened," I snapped. Lee flinched and I was filled with
self-loathing. "Sorry, princess," I whispered as I patted her
thigh.

She blinked a few times before exhaling
heavily. "Does it hurt?" she asked as she gingerly cupped my cheek.
"Are you sore?"

"I'll be fine," I told her.

I only wished I could say the same for
Derek.

****

Chapter 9

My
downfall

Derek

My coping skills sucked.

Whiskey, sleeping pills and grief weren't the
best recovery aid for a man in my position.

I didn't know why I was still sitting in the
bar of the hotel. Well no, that was a barefaced lie. I knew exactly
what I was doing here and exactly who I was looking for. I wasn't
going home. Not until I got this fucking notion out of my system. I
knew she would be here. All I had to do was wait. It wouldn't take
much. She'd offered before. Tonight I would be accepting.

My conscience started to pipe up and I shut
that fucker down with the image of Cam naked in his arms.

I spotted the familiar face I had been
waiting for and tossed my drink back.

Showtime…

Sliding off the stool I was sitting on, I
pushed past a couple of drunks until I was standing behind her. She
swung her face around and when her eyes met mine I knew it was a
done deal. "Hey sweetheart," I purred as I pressed myself against
her. "I've been looking for you."

I probably should have a chosen someplace
other than Kyle's hotel to do this. If he knew what I was about to
do it could destroy our friendship. Then again, he might just clap
me on the back. My plan was genius and revenge was a dish best
served with a blonde.

****

Lee

"I got a call earlier," Kyle mumbled as we
were lying in bed. He was twisting one of my curls around his
finger as I snuggled into his chest. He was also void of clothes
and I had a feeling his no-sex rule was about to come to an
end…"The house is ready. We can move in the day after
tomorrow."

"Already?" I asked excitedly as I stretched
up to look at him. "But you only got the keys the other day?" Kyle
didn't say anything, but the smug grin on his face was enough of an
answer.

Money was power…

I rested my cheek in the crook of his arm and
sighed in gratification. "Thank you for taking such good care of
us, Kyle." I was really excited about getting out of the hotel and
the bustle and noise of the city. It would be real nice to get some
fresh air into my lungs again. I'd been inside for so long I was
feeling sticky. I was also really excited about raising Hope away
from the city. I wanted her to have nature at her back door and
space to run and play. The freedom of living in the countryside had
been the best part of my childhood.

Growing up in Montgomery, I'd always enjoyed
the peace and quiet when I sat in the woods at the back of our
house or taking a walk down to Benny's bridge to throw rocks in the
creek with Cam. I used to love being outside. I hoped she would,
too.

The only thing that dampened on my excitement
was the fact that Derek was still refusing to come with us. Kyle
kept telling me he would be okay, but I knew he was saying this so
I wouldn't worry. Derek was in a bad place. A blind man could see
that. I wished I could do more for him, but stepping foot inside
that house was not an option. I couldn't…My mind reverted back to
our wild goose chase the other day and I flinched. I'd been so
convinced Kyle would find her journal. The tiny spark of hope I had
in my heart had deflated when he stormed back to the car, in a
horrible mood, with his face all cut up. Kyle was a fast healer,
and didn’t have a mark left, but I still wasn’t sure if I believed
the whole bedspring line he'd fed me. It sounded as realistic as a
pig flying, but I wasn’t going to push him. He just about tore my
head off the last time I questioned him…I shouldn’t have forced him
to go in there. I was such a selfish person. This was hard for
Kyle, too. I needed to remember that. Cam was his friend, too…

"Are you happy, Lee?" Kyle asked me quietly
and I didn’t miss the nervousness in his voice, or the way his
fingers trailed over the scars on my back when he whispered, "Am I
making you happy?"

"Yeah, Kyle, you are," I reassured him. "Are
you? Do I make you…"

"Yeah, baby, you make me happy," Kyle
murmured as he stretched out underneath me. "Lee," he said in a
serious tone. "I know you feel smothered being stuck inside all the
time, but it's only until the trial is over and it won't be so bad
in the new place. I know you think I'm being a dick, and maybe I
am, but I need to keep you safe. There's a lot of bad stuff out
there. Things I need you protected from…"

"I don't," I interrupted him as I stroked his
chest. "I don't think you're a…well, maybe I do, but I'm starting
to understand why you react like the way you do, or least I'm
trying to."

"Yeah?" he murmured as he trailed his fingers
over the dip in my back. Everywhere his fingers touched left a
trail of goose bumps on my body.

"Sometimes I forget about how things were for
you in our relationship before…" I paused to think of how to phrase
my words best. "You're so strong and self-assured and well, I'm…I
tend to be a little flighty."

Kyle laughed and it was a deep throaty sound.
"Understatement of the century, princess."

"Hey," I admonished gently. "If you're
referring to my behavior when I was pregnant then I'd like to plead
hormonal insanity."

"Is that even a medical condition?" he asked,
his voice laced with amusement, as he stroked my back. "Being
honest, you scared the shit out of me half the time, princess."

"Listen," I said in a serious tone of voice.
"Every morning you get ready for work, all I want to do is
barricade the door and keep you with me." I felt guilty for
worrying him so badly last week. I wasn't sorry for walking away
from the conversation–he needed to drop it–but I didn't think about
how he'd feel when he found me gone. I needed to put myself in his
shoes more often…"I want to keep you safe too, Kyle," I
admitted.