Fallen Angel (15 page)

“Ah, I suppose not.”  He said now looking even more nervous.

“Would you kiss me?” Now he looked almost shocked, he hesitated for a moment but then he bent and pressed his lips to hers. Just as she suspected and much to her disappointment she felt nothing, he
r heart didn’t race, her stomach didn’t flip, her head didn’t swim, she didn’t feel the need to lose herself in the kiss at all. She did feel tears rush to her eyes. She started to push them back but then thought better. She broke away from him and sniffed prettily.  “Oh Brent, I am so sorry.”

“Angelica, what is the matter?”

“I am afraid I must say goodbye. I care for you very much,” she lied letting the tears slide down her cheeks, “but I just can’t marry you.” Brent stared at her, he looked quite surprised.  “I didn’t know who I was for two months and I thought I was this whole other person, and now all this business with the slayer person and there are reporters everywhere, I am just certain that it is all going to end badly and I couldn’t bear to hurt your career. You understand don’t you? Please tell me you understand.”  She looked up at him wide eyed he still looked shocked but she saw him nod. She sniffed again and wiped her eyes with her handkerchief. “Oh I have made such a fool of myself, I am so sorry. I should go I promise the next time you see me I will be as I should be.” She turned and rushed from the room leaving him standing there looking dumbfounded.

Once she was back in her room she let herself smile and enjoy her minor victory.  He was pretty easy, all it took was to suggest that his career might be in jeopardy.  She felt her eyes fill with fresh tears as she thought about that kiss. She knew she had never felt what she felt with Luke before but part of her had been hoping that now that she knew what to expect she would feel it again.
Now she had to admit what she had known deep down all along, he was the only one that could inspire the desire that he had described, in her.

She sank down in the chair and closed her eyes, she let that da
y replay in her mind. Now that she had her other memories back she realized that it was all of her father’s lectures about morality and duty that had caused her to think something was wrong with the way she had felt in the first place.  Now the really painful question was what was it that Luke found so wrong with her? He wasn’t surprised by her father’s presence which meant he knew who she was before she did, was that it? Who she really turned out to be was that repulsive to him? She rubbed her stinging eyes and pushed the thoughts from her mind. It didn’t matter now.  Now it was time to get on with the rest of her life.

“I suggested that you take the body guards with you if you left the house, I did not mean to imply that you should not leave the house.” Angelica looked up from reading the paper and eating her breakfast.

“I am aware of that father.  It’s only been a couple of days, I am not intending to become a recluse.”

“What are your intentions?” She could see his eyes scrutinizing her as he took the chair at the opposite end of the table.  She had been patiently waiting for him to ask.

“It is not what I
intend to do father, it is what you intend to do.”

“Oh, what do I intend to do?”

“The media is starting to speculate, they know I have returned but that’s all they know.  You are going to put out a press release that still doesn’t give them any information and at the same time you are going to announce completely unrelated of course that we will be hosting a fundraiser masquerade ball. You will get twice the turnout as usual just from those who come to gawk at me.” She watched his eyes, she could see that she had him.

“It’s nice to see that you haven’t lost your political genius
.” Angelica forced a smile. That was as close to an endearment as she was going to get from him.

“Of course not.” She said blandly.

“Well I admit I was concerned. I spoke with Brent and I understand you’ve broken your engagement.  He seemed very amicable about the whole thing but I have to wonder why you didn’t consult with me.”  He made it sound like a minor thing but she could see in his eyes that it was most definitely not minor.

“Yes, I should have discussed it with you first. I just feel that we can do better.” She saw his brows raise a fraction.

“Do you have someone else in mind?”  She took a bite of her eggs and frowned as if pondering the idea.

“I am not sure yet, maybe. I’ll let you know.”

“You do that.” He smiled as he rose from the table and walked from the room.  She dropped her fork as soon as he was gone. This would have been a normal exchange for them before, now it made her feel sick. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes reminding herself that she had a goal, she was working on her own agenda now and the deceit was simply a means to an end. Now she just had to wait.

Just as she had suggested her father had issued a press release that said little more than he was relieved to have her home. It did little more than fuel speculation that they were hiding something but then he announced the ball. As it was to be a fundraiser tickets had to be purchased and they were being purchased in record numbers.  Her father was naturally elated, so elated in fact that he was thoroughly distracted.  It made it much easier to put her other plans in place.

The house was in constant activity for days, she actually enjoyed it
. The activity kept her mind busy. She heard the door bell then she heard the butler informing the caller that she was not available. She rolled her eyes, she had no idea there were so many reporters in town and that they were all so interested in her life. She heard the door close and she walked to the window and peered out, curious to see how many vultures were circling. She didn’t see any reporters.  Instead she saw a familiar face.

“James.”  He stopped and turned and she rushed down the steps
and threw her arms around him.

“Hey.” He grinned at her and hugged her back. “He said you were unavailable.”

“Yeah that is the standard response, been hounded by reporters. In fact you better come in before they get you too.” She laughed. Once they were back in the house she could feel the eyes of the household staff.

“Why don’t we ta
ke a walk in the garden?” She led him through the house toward the garden. When they got to the door she stopped and turned around.

“There is a
six foot wall around the garden. I assure you James is not the slayer.” The body guard that was following them looked slightly irritated but he stopped.

“What was that?” James asked
once she had closed the door.

“That was one of the many goons my father hired to supposedly protect me from this killer that is on t
he loose. I would rather just dye my hair but this is better for his image.” She said bitterly. She sat down on a bench and he sat down beside her.

“Well Angel, you look fabulous for someone being so closely guarded.”

“My name is Angelica, Angel was my mother.” She said quietly.

“
Right, I knew that. So you got your memory back huh?”

“Yep.”

“Feel better?”

“Nope.” He looked confused and concerned and she sighed. “You were right, you were right all along
. Some things are better forgotten.” Her statement did nothing to ease the confusion or the concern on his face. So she smiled brightly at him.  “Listen to me such depressing conversation, I am a terrible hostess.  How have you been?”

“Oh about the same you know not much changes.”

“I am really glad you came.” She said seriously, and she was. She had decided to change her life and seeing him was a reassurance that she had made the right decision.

“Some of the boys didn’t think you’d see me.” He said and smiled at her.

“Really? I guess that doesn’t surprise me. The foreigner went back to her foreign country I guess. Who didn’t think you’d get in?”

“Well Ella and Tom thought you would see me. Pretty much everyone else thought I would get turned away at the door.”

“You did get turned away at the door!” She laughed and he laughed with her.

“Well you know.”

“So what do you win for getting in?” She asked smiling at him.

“What makes you think I win anything?”

“Oh come on I know you guys bet on it!”

“They would have, Luke wouldn’t let them.” He said quietly, she felt a sharp pain in her chest at the mention of his name.

“Did Luke think I would turn you away?”  She aske
d and held her breath hoping that Luke of all people wouldn’t believe she would do that.

“He didn’t say, he just said you were one of us even if it was only for a short time and therefore no one was to bet on you.” Angelica forced herself to smile as tears stung the back of her eyes, she tried to blink them back but it was no use they slipped out anyway.
  James put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

“Oh Angel-lica,” he caught himself using the wrong name. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No it’s not your fault, I just wish I could have stayed one of you.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting married? Starting a new life
?”

“I called it off.” She smiled weakly, “I just couldn’t do it.”

“Why not?” He asked softly, she looked up and met his eyes she knew he knew why.

“Because it wouldn’t have been a new life.” She said simply.

They sat in the garden for a while talking about nothing important before she reluctantly agreed to let him go. 

“My father is throwing a ball, it’s sort of a welcome home but mostly a fundraiser.
I would like you to come.” She could tell by the look on his face he was going to refuse so she smiled brightly. “If you can’t make that’s alright at least take this, it will prove to the others that you got in.” He laughed and tucked the engraved invitation into his inside jacket pocket.

Angelica felt a little depressed after he left
. She sat in her room attempting to draw strength from the portrait but it didn’t help this time.  She had been holding on to her plans, to her determination to start a new life and become a new person to keep the melancholy away but now she had to face the fact that no matter what she did it wasn’t going to be the life she wanted.

Luke watched from the shadows as James took care of his horse. He had been gone all day, it was his day off he could do what he wanted with
it but Luke was fairly certain he had been to see Angie and he was dying to hear how she was.  James met his eyes when he turned from the stall but he just glared and walked right past.

“You have something you want to say to me?” Luke asked softly. James stopped and looked back at him.

“Seeing as you’re my Boss, it’s probably better I keep my opinions to myself.”

“So forget I am your Boss for a minute.” James stared at him for a long moment and Luke wondered if he was going to say anything, and then he punched him. Luke took a step backwards to keep from being knocked completely off balance, he certainly hadn’t expected that.

“I guess I didn’t realize you felt that strongly.” Luke said rubbing his jaw where James had landed the blow.

“She’s a sweet girl and she didn’t deserve to be used.” James said angrily then turned to go.

“You think that’s what I was doing?” James stopped but he didn’t turn. “What was I supposed to do, not let her go back? She is engaged to someone else.”

“No she isn’t.” James said softly.

“What?” Luke asked certain he must have heard him wrong.  James turned and looked at him.

“She broke off the engagement, said she couldn’t go
through with it.”  Luke new it was wrong that he should be so perversely happy about that.

“How is she?” James sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“I don’t know Luke. She got her memory back but I think she wishes she hadn’t.  She just seems I don’t know different. You should go see her, see for yourself.

“I can’t
, I don’t want to make it worse.”

“For her or for you?” Luke looked up and met James’ eyes but he wasn’t sure how to answer.

“Here,” James reached in to his coat pocket and retrieved an envelope and held it out to Luke. “There is some kind of shindig, you should go you can see her, and if you don’t want her to see you, well she doesn’t have to.” Luke took the envelope and James quietly left. Ice whinnied from the nearby stall and Luke sighed and turned to her. What should he do now? She had her memory back but she was unhappy. She broke off her engagement, was that his fault too? Did she feel guilty about the time they had spent together? His simple life has become so complicated in such a short time and he didn’t know what to do about it.

“Good morning dear, you’re up early.”  Angelica nodded, she was always up early she just didn’t usually join her father for breakfast.

“Did you see the paper? They found another girl yesterday, that makes seven now.”

“I did see that.”

“It says her body was mutilated, that’s all it says. What do you suppose that means?”