Fallen Angel (9 page)

“
Well we don’t have any roof shingles but I think that should keep the rain out until our next trip into town.”  Luke said to Tom as they walked toward her.

             
“You don’t look to worse for the wear.” Tom smiled.

             
“Of course not, all in a day’s work.” She smiled brightly up at him and he laughed.  Luke rolled his eyes. 

             
“Heard you were a regular heroine last night.”

             
“What? Where did you hear that?”

             
“Rule number one in a place like this, there are no secrets, everybody knows everything.” Luke continued walking past her, pulling his gloves off as he walked.

             
“I am afraid you were misinformed.” She said to Tom after Luke was gone. “I didn’t do anything heroic, in fact I believe Luke would tell you I acted recklessly.” Tom laughed at that.

             
“Luke and I don’t always agree. The way I heard it told it was pretty heroic.”

             
“I hate to disappoint you Tom, I know you do love a good story, especially one you can romanticize but there was nothing special about anything I did. We were very fortunate that the damage to the barn was minimal.”

             
“Very fortunate indeed.” Tom smiled and walked away.  Angelica frowned and crossed her arms as she looked where the two men had disappeared. She thought they might even be more confusing than trying to figure out her own history.

              Luke watched as Angie walked through the field, Ice was trotting along beside her. She had her hands out letting them drag across the tops of the tall grass and wildflowers. He didn’t know what was happening to him. He wanted to stay away from her and yet he was unnaturally drawn to her. She was beautiful, the sun making the red shine out of her hair, but that wasn’t what drew him. He couldn’t explain it, even to himself and he had been trying. He just wanted to be near her, to talk to her, to hear her voice. His feet moved on a will of their own and his long strides closed the distance until he fell into step beside her.  She glanced up at him and smiled but continued to walk. She didn’t say anything and neither did he. They simply continued to walk through the field. They finally stopped beside a huge oak tree that was standing all by itself.

             
“It looks so out of place, doesn’t it? Out here all alone in the world. Like it sprang up in spite of the fact that there isn’t another one like it around.” He watched her walk around the wide tree trunk dragging her fingers along the bark. “Just a little lost acorn.” He smiled, he couldn’t help it, it was as if he no longer had control over his body. “I had to come out here, I had to see it up close.”

             
“Are you disappointed?” He asked.

             
“Why would I be disappointed?” She frowned.

             
“Now that you see it up close, it’s just a tree.”

             
“Luke.” She sighed. The sound of his name on her lips sent a funny sensation spiraling through his chest. “You’re always such a cynic.” She went on unaware of his odd reactions. She looked around at the ground then bent and scooped up something. She walked toward him stopping directly in front of him. “That tree has probably been here for a hundred years, it has grown so wide that I can’t reach my arms around it so tall that I can’t see the top when I am standing at the base.” He smirked and she saw his eyes sparkling as he tried not to laugh at her. She took his hand and pressed the green acorn she had picked up into his palm. “It all came from a tiny little acorn just like this one. This is not just a tree. It is a miracle, you just don’t see it because you are too caught up in your perception of what it is.” Luke felt his heart pounding in his chest as he looked into her deep blue eyes, it felt like she was talking about herself, telling him that he couldn’t see her because he was too caught up in his original perception, and she was right but he was trying to change that. He wanted to see the real her not the perception. There was a loose eyelash resting on her cheek just below her eye and he lifted the hand that wasn’t holding the acorn and gently swept it away with is thumb. Once again he felt as if he were being pulled to her, like a moth to a flame. He cupped her cheek with his hand and bent his head softly kissing her lips.

             
Angelica gasped slightly as something unfamiliar surged through her. Her stomach did a funny little flip-flop she gripped the front of his shirt with both hands to steady herself. She leaned into him deepening the kiss. He wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her tightly against him, he parted his lips and she did the same. She felt light headed she couldn’t think clearly, the only thing she knew for sure was that she didn’t want him to let go, she had the sudden desire to touch him, to feel him touch her. All at once she realized where she was and what she was doing, she broke away putting enough space between them so that she was no longer touching him.

“I-I’m so sorry
.” She whispered then fled back across the field. Luke put his hand out against the tree for support, he didn’t feel very steady on his feet. Truth be told he felt pretty dazed, she was sorry? What did she have to be sorry for? He was the one who should be apologizing. His brain was fogged he couldn’t even process enough to stop her or go after her. He turned and looked in the direction she had gone, she was nearly back to the house already, Ice following behind her.  He took a deep breath trying to clear his head. He didn’t know what had come over him, once again it felt like he had lost control over himself, and he didn’t like it. He looked down at his hand still clenched inside was the acorn she had placed there, he slowly peeled back his fingers and looked at the green acorn. It looked just like an ordinary acorn, but it felt like more, he couldn’t bring himself to drop it. He slipped it into his pocket instead. He leaned against the tree and sighed, this had gotten way out of hand. He needed to regain control over the situation, over his whole life before it was too late. He had spent too much time building his life to let it slip now.

Angelica put Ice back in the barn but she wasn’t sure where to go from there. She needed to think, her mind was running a mile a minute and she couldn’t seem to focus. She climbed into the loft but that only seemed to make things worse, it was where she had been the first time Luke had kissed her.  She went to the house instead, she went to the bedroom she had used when she first arrived, she wasn’t using it much now that she had been spending so much time in the barn with Ice but it still gave her a place to be alone. She sank down on the edge of the bed and her eyes fell on the chair beside the bed. She remembered that the first time she had seen Luke he was stretched out in that chair, he had looked good even then. She felt her cheeks warm blushing at the memory of her behavior that afternoon. What must he think of her now?  She wasn’t even sure what to think herself. Her body had responded to him so readily it left her reeling. She couldn’t remember who she was or what she had done before she had woken in this room but if her wanton actions this afternoon were an indication of her real character she wasn’t sure she wanted to remember.  

Luke had avoided the barn when he returned to the ranch, he knew he was being a coward but he just didn’t want to face her. It was easy enough to avoid her gaze at supper, there were so many other people around, but now that two days had passed and it seemed that they still couldn’t been in the same room together it was becoming uncomfortable, worse it was becoming noticeable. He knew that Ella had noticed Angie leaving the kitchen moments after he had entered that morning. He had seen it in her face, he pretended not to and ignored the unspoken question in her eyes but he wouldn’t be able to do that for long.  He wasn’t trying to avoid Angie, not anymore, she was clearly still avoiding him he just wasn’t sure why. He hated the idea that she might be afraid of him, it wasn’t as if he couldn’t control himself at all. As disturbing as he found the prospect he thought he might need to actually apologize, he was after all the one who was in the wrong in this situation.  He let her stay here because she needed a place to stay, not because he expected anything from her. He knew that but his actions may have indicated differently to her.  He took a deep breath and glowered at the barn door. He really didn’t want to do this.

Angelica heard the door open and looked up expecting to see Tom or one of the other ranch hands that often came to talk to her about Ice. Instead she saw Luke and immediately her heart began to pound. She looked back down, focusing on watching her hand as she brushed Ice. Even without looking she could feel him drawing closer. She had been trying to stay away from him, taking care to make sure they were never alone. She just didn’t trust herself anymore, she had realized that she didn’t really know herself and until she did she couldn’t take any chan
ces. But now with him approaching her there was nothing she could do about it, she had nowhere to go. She was essentially cornered. She concentrated on brushing the foal in long strokes but the animal wasn’t very big, that excuse wouldn’t last long.

“Hi.” Luke stopped at the stall door and she felt herself smile in spite of her apprehension.

“Hi.” She returned his greeting.

“You want to go for a ride?” That was not at all what he had intended to say but
it was what he wanted to do, he hoped she would agree and they could just go back to the way things were, but even as he hoped he saw the indecision in her eyes.

“Ah
… no thanks, I don’t really feel much like riding.” She lied. She wanted to ride, she had almost agreed but being alone with him out away from the ranch was definitely not a good idea.

“Suit yourself.” He said and walked away from the stall. Angelica closed her eyes, this was so much harder than she had thought it would be.
She felt the need to put some space between them. Even the air felt oppressive.  She quietly let herself out of the stall and headed for the door.

“You don’t have to run like a scared rabbit, I’m not going to hurt you.” His words felt like ice and froze her feet
, she spun and looked at him. He was standing a short distance away in front of Blaze’s stall.

“I know that.” She could see in his eyes that he didn’t believe her, he thought she was afraid of him. “I am not afraid of what you’ll do Luke, I am afraid of what I will.” He frowned and walked toward her.

“What does that mean?” He was close to her now and she felt like she really should take a step backwards. He was piercing her with that intense stare again. She could feel her cheeks turning red but she forced herself to meet his gaze.

“It means that I don’t know who I am, I can’t be sure my actions will be… honorable.”  He stared a
t her for a full second then burst out laughing.

“I think I’ll take my chances.”  He said between bouts of laughter.  She crossed her arms and her chin rose defiantly.

“It’s not funny Luke, you don’t know I could be from a… a…”

“Angie you in a cat house would be about like a hen in a fox house.” He said and laughed again.

“Reputable women don’t…” She stopped and looked at him, he was still smiling and his eyes were twinkling he was enjoying her discomfort but she was serious.  She huffed and turned walking away again. 

“Wait,” He caught her hand and turned her back, “Reputable women don’t what?” He asked seriously.  She couldn’t say it
, this was all so embarrassing, she was blushing furiously already. She could feel her cheeks burning. 

“Reputable women don’t consort with cowboys.” He finished for her.  She saw his eyes harden slightly then it was his turn to turn away.

“No.” She said but he continued to walk away.  She knew she couldn’t let him continue to think that’s what she meant. She closed her eyes against the embarrassment and said loudly.

“Reputable women don’t want to be touched.”  She placed heavy
emphasis on the word want. He stopped and looked back at her.

“What?
”

“Reputable women don’t enjoy it.” She said softly this time.  He closed the gap between them in three strides.

“That is absurd, who told you that?”

“I just know.” She shrugged.  He looked at her for a long moment pondering what she had said
. Then he touched her. He only lightly caressed her cheek but he could see a barely perceptible response, she wanted him to touch her and she didn’t think she should.

“Angie,” he said quietly, “So many respectable married women, you think none of them love their husbands?”

“It’s a wife’s duty to be with her husband.” She said simply. He frowned, her voice didn’t even sound the same. It sounded like she was reciting something to him.

“I am not talking about duty, I am talking about desire.” He said softly stepping even closer so that their bodies were nearly touching. “I am
talking about the desire that drives two people together because they can’t bear to be apart, the desire that makes them want to memorize every inch of each other, the desire that is sparked by a single touch, by hearing their name on the other’s lips.” His voice was soft and husky and as she gazed up into his eyes she wondered if it was that desire he was speaking of that made her knees feel as if they were about to buckle. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, she wondered if he was going to kiss her again. Her eyes dropped to his lips and she saw him move towards her.