Fallen Embers (22 page)

“Tell me,” he said, as he pulled away again. “How is it you seem to know so much about what has been happening with me, while I did not even know you were alive? How did you survive the storm? What miracle brought you here tonight? Was it by design, or has destiny once again caused our paths to cross?”

“Oh, dear.” Georgia's expression turned rueful. “So many questions. Which shall I attempt to answer first, I wonder?” She shook her head. “There is no great mystery to my survival. The ship was fair damaged—aye—and I'll admit I spent most of the remainder of the voyage anticipating my imminent demise, but—”

“The ship was not lost? You were not swept overboard as I was?”

She shook her head. “You secured me far too well. Indeed, in the time it took me to free myself and get to the rail so that I might look for you, you were already gone. I could only assume you had drowned.”

Conrad's chest felt tight. He pulled one of the chairs closer and sat—gingerly, ever mindful of the creaking leather. “Did you not even think to search for me beyond that single glance?”

Georgia's eyes opened wider. For a moment, she stared speechless at him. “Where would you have had me begin this search?” she asked at last. “You could have been
anywhere
beneath the waves. The ship was being tossed about. It would have been foolish to stay any longer.”

“I would not have given up so easily,” Conrad said, holding her gaze with his. “I would
never
have stopped searching for you—not if there had been the smallest reason to hope.”

“I know you think that now.” Tears gleamed in Georgia's eyes. She reached a hand toward him, but then let it drop. “And, indeed, you cannot imagine how many times I've asked myself, over the years, if I could not have done more. But you speak of hope… What if you
had
no hope—what then? I called to you. I did. 'Til my voice was spent. If only you'd responded. If only there'd been one sign…”

“I understand. But, all the same—”

Georgia slammed her fist on the table and glared at him. “No. You do
not
understand. And you shall
not
destroy this night for us with useless recriminations. Rather than heap guilt upon
both
our heads for all the ways in which we've failed one another, let us rejoice that we are both still alive—which brings me to another of your questions.”

“Your lack of surprise at finding me here?”

“You may call it that, if you wish. Though I find it surpassing strange that the answer has not already occurred to you, for you have hardly kept to the shadows. Did you imagine that not a whisper of your great conquests would reach us here? 'Tis not the case, I assure you.
Everyone
has heard and is in awe of your exploits—whether they admire you for them or not.” She paused and shook her head. “I must confess that when first I heard of your mistress's death and learned the name of her successor, I was furious. I cursed this unknown ‘Quintano' who dared bear
your
name, who had seized the place that should have gone to you. All the old wounds were reopened and my grief flared anew.”

“
Ciccia
,” Conrad murmured softly, touched by the sadness in her tone. He took hold of her hand and squeezed it tight. “
Ciccia mia
, don't. It's in the past. Let us leave it there.”

“You're right, of course,” Georgia agreed, smiling in what might have been an effort to shake off the melancholy mood that seemed to have settled over the room. “And, indeed, it has been a great while since I felt that way. For, the more I heard about this…this interloper, for so I thought him—
you
—at the time, the more I began to wonder if there was not another explanation. Perhaps I'd been wrong in thinking you dead. Wonder begat hope and hope belief. And here we are tonight. So, no, I cannot say I was
surprised
to find you here, but I
am
grateful beyond measure to finally see you again, and to know that my fondest hopes are realized.”

Conrad could think of no answer to make to that, so he kissed her hand. But, once again, the taste of her flesh called up memories. Needs he'd thought long extinguished—or, at least, moderately under control—came blazing back to life. Even though he'd only just had her, his body still ached with desire. But he would control himself. The next time they made love it would be within the proper setting.

After all this time, they ought to be in a palace and, in his mind, he cursed Kendrick once again for sending him here instead.

“Talk to me about Kendrick. Is he truly your uncle?”

Georgia's expression darkened. “Why should he not be? It is quite a common story. We were born into the same family but now we are sworn enemies. Fortunately for me, I have always been the stronger. Elsewise, I've no doubt, he would have gladly killed me long ago. I am
Invitus
, and he cannot forgive the atrocities I was forced to commit in my youth.”

“And you do not feel the same animosity toward him?”

She shrugged. “My personal feelings are not important. I have chosen not to kill where there is no need, but I make no promise regarding what the future may hold. I will say this, however; I do not believe he is long for this world. Not if my master has aught to say about it.”

Conrad fell silent as he digested this information. “I have given Kendrick my word that I would protect this nest. I intend to visit your master tomorrow and acquaint him with that fact.”

“Have you?” Georgia glanced away, mouth tightening as she said, “Indeed, I am sorry to hear it.”

“Why sorry?”

“Because 'tis folly. You speak of setting yourself against Rupert, for no good reason. Why not use this opportunity to secure him as an ally?”

“It is not for ‘no reason'. 'Tis to protect the lives of those he threatens.”

“Your loyalty is commendable. But sacrifices must sometimes be made. Will you tell me there is no one you have killed, since your rise to power? Come, I think we both know that is not so.”

Conrad nodded. “I have killed, yes. But only those who have deserved it. Or those whose continued existence would have put all the rest at risk.”

“And can you not see that this is very much the same?”

“No, I cannot. Are you suggesting I hand this entire nest over to your master so that they might be slaughtered? Your uncle included?”

Georgia growled impatiently. “Do you imagine Kendrick cherishes any familial feelings for me? I promise you, he does not. But even if he did, I would still urge you to consider the greater good. This nest is small and weak. What do they add to either the strength or prestige of your House? Why, just look at the manner in which you acquired them! There are those who would say they deserve to die for having dared to take up arms against you in the first place.”

“There may be those who say such things,” Conrad replied. “But I do not count myself among them. Indeed, had I better understood their reasoning, I believe that night might have ended far differently.”

Georgia grimaced. “You'll forgive me, I hope, for saying I'm glad it did not end differently? But what does any of that matter now? Rupert is a friend well worth cultivating. And all you need give him in exchange for his goodwill is a small amount of tribute. I do not think it a very great price.”

“You cannot mean that!” Conrad could no longer sit quietly. The chaos in his mind demanded action. He got to his feet and began to pace. “What sort of friendship is this you talk of, Georgia? One for which I must pay in blood? And not even my own blood—no! But the blood of innocents, of people who have done
nothing
to deserve the fate you would so lightly assign them. Even if Rupert were someone I did not despise, I would still want no part of such a ‘friendship'.”

“Listen to me,” Georgia urged, as she, too, slid to the floor, so that they were both once again on their feet. “You've been given a great gift, Conrad. You have your freedom, and a second chance at life! Do not throw that away, I beg you. It would grieve me terribly were I to learn of your death.”

Conrad shook his head. “The only second chance I wish to have is with
you
. Tell me you do not mean the things you've said and we will forget this nonsense ever happened. Run away with me, as we'd planned to do before. I will make you my queen, share all I have with you. We could leave here tonight, if you wish, and I will order the entire nest to depart with us. Thus may I keep all my promises and safeguard you as well.”

Georgia shook her head. “Oh, my dear. The time for such pleasant dreams and naïve fantasies is long over. Once upon a time, yes, we had but little to lose, but now? After I have finally secured for myself a measure of security? How could I even consider risking that now? How can you ask it of me?”

“I would not call myself naïve,” Conrad protested. “It is not that I am unaware of the risks, but I count them as
nothing
compared to the reward. You will be safe with me. I swear it. Indeed, I am now more capable of protecting you than ever I was before.”

“How will you protect me, Conrad? By going to war with Rupert? 'Tis madness! You would doom us both.”

“Was it not madness before? And did we not consider it then?”

“As I have said, things have changed. You are now the master of a great House. You must learn to think like one or I fear your days will be short and your end, when it comes, will be as ignoble as Edwin's. You will be slain—and all for naught! And the only one who to benefit from your death will be Rupert. If you really wish to gift my lord with all that he desires, I can think of far less costly ways to do it!”

Conrad sighed heavily. “Ah,
ciccia
, why will you not trust in me? I do not plan on dying, but if it comes to that, then yes, I would gladly risk death on your behalf. I am willing to risk
all
for you. Can you not say the same about me? Will you not?”

Georgia looked away and shook her head. “I would much prefer that
neither
of us take such risks, but if I cannot dissuade you from this course, so be it. You are headed for disaster. I will not follow you into it. My answer is no.”

Conrad growled in helpless frustration. “Then why did you even come here tonight? Was it for any reason at all other than to torment me?”

“Conrad…”

“It is not just the lives of these few men—though that would be enough. You are also asking me to sacrifice everything I hold dear, my dreams, my hopes for the future, my word, my pride, what's left of my soul. And for what? Is it in the hope of winning your love? No, for even that is denied me! Were it otherwise, I might have found myself torn, forced to consider your terms. But you are offering me nothing more than a chance to purchase the goodwill of a man whose very nature I abhor. I tell you now, I will never make that bargain.”

Georgia found herself forced to look away. The pain in Conrad's eyes tore at her heart. If that organ were still her own to direct, she would be on her knees, right now, begging his forgiveness. If she were free to speak the words locked deep inside, she'd be swearing her love for him. Had it been so long that he could no longer recall what it was to be a slave to someone else's will?

She fisted her hands on her hips and glared at him. “I know not why you speak to me of souls, after all the evil we've committed. What of our sins? There was a time—I remember it well—when such things were all you could talk about. We are damned creatures, Conrad. Our souls are lost.
This
is our eternal life. We had best make the most of it, for we will get no other.”

“All the more reason, then, to live with what integrity we can. But now, at last, I have the answer to my final question. It was not Destiny that brought you here to me tonight. You did not come here of your own free will, for you have none. You were sent here, weren't you? As your master's whore no doubt. Tell me, were you acting under orders when you seduced me? Did you think I might be more easily persuaded
to comply with his outrageous demands after bedding you?”

Heat flared in Georgia's cheeks. “It is true that I am here at Rupert's command, but he could easily have sent someone else. Fool that I am, I begged him to choose me because I wished to see you again. And because I thought I had the best chance of convincing you to be reasonable.”

“And yet I've not heard one reasonable thought from you all evening!”

“Because you will not listen! Forget your wounded pride. Give in to Rupert's demands. Leave this isle, go home, live your life—and allow me to live mine. It will be best for all of us, I promise you. I am already at war with enough people I once cared for. Do not make me add you to that list, I beg you.”

“I do not treaty with slaves. You may take that message back to your master, if you'd like. Tell him I shall call upon him myself on the morrow so that we may settle this between us—as equals.”

His words stung. “You've grown cruel over the years.”

“I? I have grown cruel?” Conrad shook his head. “No, Georgia, what strikes me as cruel is the fact that we should have both lived to see this night. I wish now that the ocean
had
claimed me—and you as well. 'Twould have been a far better fate than to live to see the regard we once had for one another reduced to
this
.”

“I, on the other hand, am happy that we are both still alive, even with animosity between us. And I pray we might both continue to live long and happy lives.”

Conrad made no answer but the ice in his gaze seemed impenetrable.

Georgia sighed. “Since it seems there is nothing left to say, I will take my leave of you. I've an unwelcome message to deliver—'tis best to get it over with quickly.” She glanced worriedly at his sword, which he'd laid by the door. Would he use it on her if she asked him to? A quick, painless death seemed far less unpleasant than the prospect before her—that of returning to face Rupert's wrath now that her mission had failed. But the will to survive that had kept her alive through centuries of pain and degradation was not so easily extinguished. And, who knew? Perhaps someday… “If you'd be so kind as to unlock the door?”