Fallen from Grace (20 page)

“I just want to say thank you, Grace. Not just for taking care of me last night, but for being who you are. When I woke up next to you this morning, I felt as if this huge weight had been lifted off my chest. I don’t remember what happened between us and I’ll regret that forever, but I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you, for anything you need. I’ll take a friendship with you over nothing because I don’t want this to be the end. I don’t want to leave here and never see you again.”

Her eyes gleamed. “You mean that?”

“I do.”

“That means a lot to me. Thank you, Judas.” Reaching into her back pocket, she pulled her phone out and wiggled it. “I’ll text you when it’s clear.”

Judas realized his phone was still next to the bed. “I might need my phone then.” He retrieved it from her room.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye,” she said, standing in front of the door.

He frowned. “I hope not.”

She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Grace grabbed her keys off the entry table and slipped out the door and out of Judas’s life.

He didn’t know if he’d ever see her again, but he could only hope this wasn’t the end.

G
RACE
PULLED
THE
DOOR
SHUT
behind her and took a deep breath as she told herself she was doing the right thing. She had her family, her reputation and her career to think about.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against her door. Judas was hard to resist. In her kitchen she’d purposefully kept herself stationed behind the counter because, quite honestly, she hadn’t trusted herself. What she’d wanted to do was glide her hands up his tan, muscular arms, feel them around her and throw all her inhibitions to the wind.

But she couldn’t keep doing that with him. It was wrong. She was lucky he didn’t remember anything about last night, the intense kiss in the bathroom, when she willingly curled her body next to his, or when she finally broke down and drew her finger over his chest and down his long, rippled torso.

When Judas had decided to leave, she trudged into her bedroom as he’d shut the bathroom door. She pulled on a pair of faded jeans, a white V-neck t-shirt and her running shoes. When Judas walked out of the bathroom, Grace nearly threw in the towel. He might as well have changed into a loin cloth because her heartbeat quickened and her cheeks flushed. She felt the primeval desires rooted deep in her sexuality begging to let her heart handle it, not logic.

After he’d fallen asleep last night, she’d laid next to him, listening to him breath as he eventually drifted into a deep sleep, then she had walked into the bathroom and shut herself inside. She’d stared at his shirt as her anger flared. How could he have let a woman kiss him, and then come to her? Wetting the tip of a washcloth, she’d squeezed out a small amount of hand soap and scrubbed the red lipstick off his collar until no evidence had remained.

Grace shoved all thoughts of him from her mind and reminded herself who she was with—who she was marrying.

Standing in the hall, she opened her eyes and looked directly across from her, Mrs. Henderson stepped out of her apartment with her terror of a dog and closed her door at the same time. The small, yappy poodle always barked at Grace, and even though she was expecting it, it always startled her.

“Good morning, Mrs. Henderson.”

Her voice was as high pitched and chipper as ever. “Morning, Grace.”

As Grace took the stairs to the main floor, she hoped her neighbor hadn’t seen her sneak Judas in last night. A scandal like this would ruin her.

A selfish tremor shook her. Grace never thought about herself, she always put other people’s problems before her own. But that wasn’t what scared her. What scared her was the part of her brain screaming that this was all wrong; that she belonged with Judas—not Ellis— and that she only lived once.

Grace wanted to turn back and run to him. She imagined herself throwing the door open, wrapping her arms around him, and feeling his lips pressed against hers.

She stopped in the lobby and started to turn back.

“Dr. Winters?” someone called.

It ejected her from the delicious daydream. Grace looked at Trevor, the doorman. He was only nineteen, and a business major at NYU. His blue eyes narrowed and filled with concern. “Is everything alright?”

She felt her head move up and down as he jerked his head over his shoulder, toward a man standing by the door. David Pearson turned around at the same time and looked at her. Grace returned her attention to Trevor and smiled.

“I’m fine.”

Her lips strained against the smile; she was far from fine, but she had to follow through with her plan because David put out a cigarette on the sidewalk and started walking toward her. Grace gestured toward the mailboxes on the wall to Trevor.

“I’m going to check my mail.”

On the way over, she texted Judas.

She paused in front of the wall of individual metal boxes, and stared at the blinking cursor on her phone. What should she write? When she heard footsteps behind her, she quickly typed:

Judas:
Good to go.

As soon as she hit send, she felt her eyes glisten with unshed tears. She wiped them away as she pushed the key into the metal box and retrieved her mail. Turning around, she saw Burke’s doppelganger standing behind her. His expression was blank as he stood with one hand clasped over the other in front of him. He was wearing gold aviators and his short, military cut was spiked in the front. He
reeked
of cigarettes.

“Did you have a good night, Mr. Pearson?”

He didn’t move a muscle. “Senator Randall will be arriving at 1100 hours.”

Okay then
. This guy was just as cold as Burke.
Fantastic.

“Thank you for letting me know. I suppose I should go get ready.” She slipped past him and gave Trevor a quick wave.

He smiled and glanced nervously toward Ellis’s security guard. She shrugged her shoulders, indicating her hands were tied. Trevor gave her an apologetic smile and dipped his head. Grace hurried up the stairs and ducked inside her apartment before she was forced to converse further with the impersonal military disciple.

Her apartment felt empty, and part of her wished Judas hadn’t left. But the last thing she wanted was Ellis finding out that Judas spent the night. Grace was glad she still had some control over her hormones, and that she hadn’t had sex with him. She would never have forgiven herself if it had gone further than the kiss they’d shared.

She locked her door and glanced at the clock on the mantel above her fireplace—it was already 8:30. She poured another cup of coffee and made a bagel; no way could she go another two hours without eating. Afterward, she walked into the bathroom and began removing her clothes. Judas had neatly folded Cade’s clothes and placed them on the bench where she had laid his clothes the night before.

She walked over to them and picked up the shirt. She brought it to her nose, and inhaled. Cade’s scent had faded long ago, but Judas’s sweet, musky scent was strong. A wave of heat settled deep in the pit of her stomach. Judas Woods had gotten under her skin, and she feared she would never be the same again.

Refolding the shirt, she laid it on top of the sweats and finished undressing before stepping into the shower. The warm water brought clarity and helped ease her anxiety. She was going to get through this. Everything was going to be okay. Judas was gone, and she would probably never see him again, but the thought only caused heartache rather than the relief she was hoping to gain.

Pushing all thoughts from her mind, she focused on innocuous things like washing her hair and shaving her legs. After rinsing, she turned off the water and grabbed a towel on a hook outside the shower door. She dried off and wrapped it around her body, tucking a corner between her breasts. She wiped the condensation off the mirror and brushed her teeth.

From there on out, things went smoother. She stripped her sheets because she didn’t want to tempt herself with
his
scent, and tossed them in the wash, but she couldn’t bring herself to wash the clothes. Instead, she opened the bottom drawer to her dresser, lifted a stack of pants, and placed them at the bottom.

Charlie purred at her feet. Grace picked him up and sat down on the edge of her bed. He wasn’t one for strangers, and usually hid until whoever was invading his space left; even when Ellis stayed the night he was nowhere to be seen, but he had come right up to Judas, laid at his feet, and fallen asleep. Traitor cat. He was only making her decision harder.

Judas crouched down, and pet Grace’s cat—felines had a tendency to favor him. He tickled the orange cat behind the ear, and he started to purr.

“Good kitty.”

His phone whistled, notifying him of a text and he looked down.

Grace:
Good to go.

He swallowed hard as her rejection cut him deep. “You take care of our girl,” he said with one last stroke across the cat’s back.

When he stood, the cat started meowing. Judas opened the door and stepped into the hall, closing it quietly behind him. He heard a man’s voice, then Grace’s saying she should go get ready. A heaviness settled in his chest. She was going to be with Ellis soon. Her lips were going to be on his, and his hands were going to be on her.

Thoughts like that had the power to destroy him; he couldn’t allow himself to think about her anymore. She’d made her choice, and he needed to respect it, but he wasn’t the type of person who could just flip a switch and turn off his emotions. He couldn’t just
forget
Grace. Judas wanted to be with her. He wanted to be the one she woke up next to, and the one who got to kiss those soft lips, but it didn’t matter what he wanted because she didn’t want him.

Taking the route she’d explained, he came out in an alley and looked around for his car or bike, but the only thing in the alley was a black and red Ducati. Judas reached into his pocket and found his keys—and a single key with the black and red emblem matching the bike in front of him.

Shit.

Blackouts were a bitch. He put his keys back in his pocket and got on the bike, using the mysterious key to start it.

He’d always wanted a Ducati—a beautiful, Italian design known for its quick maneuvering abilities. Judas recognized this model from a show he’d gone to a few years back before the company sold out to Audi—a 2001 Sports Classic.

He started the bike and listened to the sweet purr fill the alleyway. He knew he needed to find the owner, but he also needed to get away from Grace’s apartment before Ellis showed up. He pulled out onto the street and headed to his apartment. It crossed his mind that maybe getting caught wasn’t the worst thing that could happen; perhaps Ellis would break it off with Grace, and Judas could have his chance with her.

The thought made him sick to his stomach. He had changed so much over the past ten years. The versions of himself were night and day, and he was unrecognizable. The once empathetic, caring boy had become an evil, manipulative monster, and his mother would be ashamed of him. Hell, he was ashamed of who he’d become.

The past week had been the worst since her death. He’d contemplated suicide, failed his clients, drank himself into a stupor, was drugged, and forever lost the only woman who was worth returning from the depths of his own personal hell for.

He wasn’t going to be this person anymore. He would do it for her because he would never reach this low again. His first good deed would be finding the bike’s owner and returning it to him, granted an APB-all point’s bulletin-hadn’t been issued by the police. Misfortune’s hand chose that moment to strike. The familiar sound of sirens ripped through the air behind him.

Whoop-whoop.

Judas glanced in the mirror and saw the red and blue lights of a police officer’s motorcycle flashing. He could only hope it was because he wasn’t wearing a helmet, but he highly doubted that was the case. A bike like this didn’t go missing without involving the authorities.

He cursed under his breath.