Fallen from Grace [Part Two of the Thicker than Blood Series] (2 page)

“What...,” I said, not realizing that I had said it out loud, interrupting Tiffany.  I couldn’t believe he was at the same place we were.

“What is it?”  She looked at me and then trailed where my eyes were focused.  “Is that Matt?”

I nodded.  “Small world.”  I drank nearly half of my wine and sat the glass on the table.  “I'll be right back, okay?”

“Okay.”  Tiffany eyed me.  “Good luck.”

I wove through the tables toward the back door, going outside.  As he sat alone, Matt didn't seem himself.  He looked good as always, wearing jeans and t-shirt that hugged his every muscle, but there was more.  I was used to the happy, almost always positive man.  This wasn't what I saw now.  His brow was furrowed and while he held an almost determined look on his handsome face, there was something else there... something bordering tragic.

“Hello, Kenna.”  Matt knew it was me without turning in my direction.

I stood next to the table, staring down at him, unsure of what to say.  This was the first time since I had met him that I felt uncomfortable.  The air around us was charged.

“What are you doing here?”
That's what I thought to say?   Great....

“I'm leaving,” he said, still staring at the creek.

“You haven't been here long, have you?” There was only faint water ring on the table, leading me to assume he just arrived.

“No... I'm leaving town.”

“Wha...,” I started but failed.  My heart thundered in my chest.  He was leaving?  “Wh... where are you going?”

He turned the beer bottle in his hand and stared at the back label.  “I'm going to go home for a while.”

I thought hard.  I honestly didn't know where home was to him.  I could feel heat rising to my cheeks, both from embarrassment and tension.  How could I not know where my friend was from?  I couldn't ask him now and admit to that... perhaps he told me and I didn't hear?
I'm such a terrible friend.

“Why?”  I heard myself ask.

“For my own sanity,” he said, lifting the beer to his lips, draining it of the remaining fluid.  His tone was flat, void of all affect.  “I need to step back from reality for a while.”

He was leaving because of me.  There was no other explanation.  I stood there next to him, not knowing what to do.  I reached out and hesitantly fidgeted with the hem on the arm of his t-shirt.  He flinched lightly from my touch.

“Matt, if you're mad at me... if I've done something...”  I should be able to offer my friend words of comfort, but I had nothing.

His brow furrowed even more – eyes still forward.  Setting the bottle on the table, Matt stood.  He was standing just inches away from me – the heat radiating from his body brought the scent of his cologne to my nose.  I looked up from his shirt and our gaze locked.  I gasped.  His eyes were an electric blue pool of confusion.  While he was attempting to mask his feelings, his eyes told me everything I needed to know.  Just this one look confirmed what Marie and Tiffany had said... Matt loved me.  I don't think I've ever felt so small in my life. 
How could I be so freakin' blind?

Before I could gather my thoughts and say something to him, he quickly kissed my cheek.  “Good bye, Kenna,” he whispered next to my ear, and left.

Mouth open, I watched him make his way through the maze of chairs and tables to the front of the restaurant.  What was I to do now?  My brain was overloaded from the happenings of last week, now I had to add this.  I sat down hard on the metal chair Matt vacated.  It was still warm.  My friend was gone.  Would I ever see him again?  I felt like my heart was going to burst.  Tears filled my vision.

“Hey,” Tiffany said.

I looked up, she was standing next to me with our waiter behind her, our wine and appetizer in hand.  “Right here would be great, if this is okay?”  She said to the server.

The blonde girl smiled.  “Sure, no problem, ladies.”

Tiffany sat down next to me as the young woman arranged the food in front of us.

Brushing several strands of hair from my face, Tiffany said, “so...”

I sniffed and attempted to dry my eyes with a napkin.  “He left.  He's going home.”  I picked up my glass of Cabernet and drank all that remained.  “He said it was for his sanity.”

“Kenna, how do you feel about him?” I looked at Tiffany.  Her eyes were hard and she crossed her arms.  Why did she look like she was upset?

“What?”

“I mean, he told you he was leaving and you didn't try to stop him?  Why not?  I would have tried to get him to talk to me at least.”

I stared.  She was right.  Why didn't I?  I just stood there like a horses ass.  Regardless of my uncertainty about feelings of love towards Matt, he was still my friend... and I just watched him walk away.  It was possible I would never see him again. 
Good God, could this week get any worse?
Tears began to flow down my cheek.  “You're right.  I should have tried to stop him.” 

“Well, just give him some time.”  Her tone softened.  “He'll be back, I mean, he has to for work, right?”

Shaking my head, I brushed the tear away.  Her words were supposed to make me feel better, but they didn't.  “He's agency, remember?  He can quit anytime he wants and move on.”

Faintly, I could hear rain beginning to fall on the patio roof.

Tiffany chewed her lip.  “I'm sure he won't though.  He'll be back.”

I wasn't so sure about that.  Remembering the look in Matt's eyes, I'd never seen that look before.  God, I should have stopped him.  He would have stayed and talked if I asked him to.  I owed him so much.... and I just let him walk away.  I took a deep breath and looked at Tiffany.  “I'll figure it out,” I said, shaking my head.  “If I have to track his ass down, I will.”

Her eyes searched mine then smiled.  “Good.”

And that was the last we spoke of Matt for the evening.  I couldn't help but think that Tiffany was annoyed with me because she wondered if I'd just let her go too.  Man, I really needed to focus more on my friends and not about the bullshit in my life.  I had a nasty habit of not saying what needed to be said for fear of putting myself out there.  I could think of at least three relationships I let slip through my fingers because of such reservation.  I was an adult.  I needed to act like an adult.  Keeping feelings bottled up didn't keep them from existing.  I mean, I knew that, but I certainly didn't act like I did. 
One step at a time, I guess.
Finding and talking to Matt would be the first step of many.

When we finished our food, we made our way to the front of the establishment to find that it was raining harder.  It wasn't pouring, but a nice soaking rain.

Tiffany pointed to the left of where we were standing, “I'm over there.  You ready to make a run for it?”

I smiled.  “You know, I think I'm going to walk home,” I said to Tiffany.

She looked at me like I was nuts.  “I don't think it's going to stop anytime soon,” she said, looking to the sky.

“I know, but that's okay.  It will be relaxing.”  Maybe the rain would wash away some of the happenings of the last week.  “Thanks for today.  You always seem to get me straight after I do something stupid.”

Tiffany smiled and hugged me.  “That's what friends are for, right?”  She stepped back and gave me a stern look.  “The next time something like this happens, don't wait to tell me!”

“You got it.”  I nodded.  “Lets do this again soon.”

“All right.  See ya, girl.”

“Bye, Tiff.”  I watched her run through the rain to her car.  I was so lucky to have a friend like her.  I could always count on her to give me the right advice, no matter how badly I messed up.

I took a step out into the rain and enjoyed the feeling of the little, cool drops on my face.  It was only two blocks to my house, but I knew I'd probably be soaked though when I got there.

It was 10:30 p.m.  The reflection of bright city lights in puddles on the street and sidewalk was something I always loved.  It was dark out but there was something romantic in the red and yellow colors being dimpled by rain drops.  It was slightly Monet-like in the way the images were skewed and smudged by the falling precipitation.  I sighed, taking a deep breath of the cool, night air and enjoyed the wash of raindrops on my skin.

When I arrived home soaking wet, I realized I had forgotten to turn on my front porch light earlier.  I fumbled with my keys for a moment, unable to see the keyhole.

When the already dim light around me grew darker suddenly, every hair on my body rose to their end.  Someone was standing close behind me.  I slowly turned, not really wanting to see who it might be, afraid I might be face to face with a stranger, and gasped.  It was Matt!  Like me, he was soaking wet – blond hair stuck to his forehead, his t-shirt was molded tightly to every sculpted-inch of his chest like plastic wrap.  He was attractive before but now... he was devastating.  My lips parted slightly as I met his eyes.  Blue fire stared back at me. 
Oh God. 
“Matt...”

His brow furrowed and he sucked raindrops from his lip.  “Don't,” he said softly.  Rain streamed down his brow bone, cheeks and nose.  He was beautiful.

My heart raced as we stared at each other.  I could feel the heat radiating from his wet body.  I swallowed hard.  Why had he returned?  Was he going to tell me he loved me?  I stood paralyzed in his rapacious gaze.

Eyes focused on my mouth, Matt lowered his face and stopped.  He searched my features once more before brushing his lips softly against mine.  “Kenna,” he breathed.

I drew in a quick breath of air before he sealed our mouths tightly.  Electricity shot through my body as his arms came around me, fitting the softness of my body into his hard angles.  He moved hesitantly, seeking out my tongue with gentle sweeps of his.  Matt's hand moved up my back slowly to gently grasp the nape of my neck and he deepened the kiss.  My knees grew weak.  He wasn't kissing me... he was trying to claim me, and it was working.  In the entire time I had known him, we never kissed like this. 

I heard the front door open.  Matt managed to opened the door without looking up or breaking away me.  '
Did I leave the house unlocked?
” I wondered for a brief moment before the big man pulled me out of the rain, into my home.

His hand found mine and we said not a word as he led me to the bedroom.  The light from the street was bright through my open blinds, illuminating my room like the glow of a full moon.

Matt pressed his body into my back; I could feel his growing desire for me just above my fleshy ass.  I shivered, my ache for him growing from a tiny flame into a wildfire.  He slowly pulled my wet hair from my neck and planted feathery kisses to my damp skin.  His lips were hot – it felt like he was branding me with each grazing touch.  I could do nothing to stop the flood of desire sweeping over me.

A firm hand grasped my shoulder, turning me to face the god-like man.  Matt's eyes were fierce with hunger and need, slowly roaming from my head to feet.  He blinked hard, putting a hand behind my head and bringing his beautiful mouth suddenly to mine.  It had been a very long time since I felt genuine passion and desire.  Having sex with him before was... sex.  It was a relief of a need.  It was a means to an end.  The emotions coursing through me as we embraced was something totally different – it wasn't bodies coming together... it was souls.

Matt drew his shirt over his head and off, dropping it onto the carpet.  Soon, the rest of his clothes were in a pile on the floor.  My eyes feasted on the hardened body of a Norse god.  I bit my lip as I took in every inch of his muscular flesh.  Powerful shoulders, arms and chest decorated with sweeping dark symbols of his heritage; stomach muscles carved into perfectly stacked rows.  My eyes traced over his narrowing waist and the bottom of his abs which formed an arrow pointing down to his pulsing cock.  I was speechless, my mouth watered.