Karen has a security entrance
squawk box on the left hand pillar of the main gates. I get out of the car and
press the button and wait. After a few seconds I press it again. This time I
hold it in for good measure. Still nothing. I try the gate but it is locked
shut. I give the button one more extra long press. The speaker remains silent.
I circle round the perimeter
until I’m at right angles to the main entrance. Here the wall is little more
than five feet high. I pull myself up and over. I’m standing on the immaculate
lawn. I make my way to the front door.
As I cross the grass I look for
signs of movement from the house. There is nothing. Curtains are drawn even
though it is still bright daylight outside. Before I reach the door I’m sure there
is going to be no answer. I press the doorbell anyway. I’m rewarded by the
distant sound of ‘I’m Not In Love’ by 10cc - Karen lacks taste at times. I give
10cc another couple of outings and give up. As a last throw of the dice I walk
round the house. It’s wrapped up tight. I decide to call it quits.
The bitch has gone A.W.O.L.
I walk down the main path and I’m
just about to cut across the grass to the wall when I see what looks like a
business card lying at the edge of the grass. I pick it up. It is warped from
lying in the morning dew. I read it. Jonathan Brewer, Managing Partner, Grey,
Littleton and Michaels. This is just such a bad news day.
I know of Grey, Littleton and
Michaels. High end estate agents who rarely touch anything less than half a million.
The bitch isn’t A.W.O.L. The bitch is flying the nest.
I pocket the card, jump back over
the wall and slump into my car. I pull my mobile out. I try Robin’s mobile. I
try Karen’s mobile and home number. I try Robin’s home number. The first three
draw a predictable blank. The fourth brings an answer in the shape of Robin’s
wife, Lyndsey. I ask if she has heard from Robin. Suddenly, no warning, no
pre-amble, it is confession time and she goes into overdrive.
How could Robin leave her? What
had she done? Wasn’t she a good wife? Was it another woman? Did I know if it
was another woman? Who was the other woman? Did I think she could get him back?
I’m his best friend - can I talk to him? Bring him to his senses?
I let her rant and when she runs
out of steam I tell her I’ll call her as soon as I hear from Robin. I hang up.
I’ve no intention of phoning her back.
I start up the engine and decide
to head back home. Maybe Quentin has some good news? I need some.
I’m woken by a presence in the
room and I freak. Two bodies. The gorillas? My eyes focus and I see George with
a girl that I don’t recognise. They are standing quietly near the door. I
beckon them over and note the girl is holding the parcel that Leonard gave me
yesterday. I ask them to sit down but not before I ask George to check the
corridor and tell me if he can see the two gorillas. George’s eyes widen in
fear. He asks if they are here and I say one of them was. He gets up and opens
the door to look out. I can see shapes passing outside and realise that it must
be visiting time. The gorillas wouldn’t try anything during visiting time.
Would they?
George sits down and tells me
there is no sign of them. I’m not re-assured. We sit in silence for a few
moments and then George introduces me to Tina and fills in on what they have
been doing since I saw him on the roof. I reciprocate with my encounter with
the gorilla. George agrees with me that they will probably be back. I ask
George to go over the contents of the parcel again. They pass me a written
sheet with a list of money and names and a sample sheet from the others. They
tell me all the other sheets are typed. I scan the written list and recognise a
fair few names. I look at the other sheets and recognise them as some sort of
record but they lack any sort of clue as to what they are a record of. I put
the sheets down and Tina picks them up and puts them back in the parcel.
It doesn’t take a genius to
figure that Leonard had been up to something deeply dodgy. The names on the
list are familiar in their own right but I’m also sure they are connected to
each other in some way. At the moment I can’t figure how but it will come to
me.
I lie back to think and it is
obvious that I can’t stay in the hospital. The gorilla will return - sure as
cheese is cheese. He’ll also bring his mate.
I don’t know if the gorillas are
aware of the parcel and its contents but assuming my introduction to flight was
a mistake and that Leonard was supposed to earn his wings then the parcel could
well be the object of their desire. Although how throwing me from the roof
would have got them the parcel is beyond me. They didn’t ask me a blind word
about the parcel and at the time they thought I was Leonard.
I quiz George again on the roof
top events and thank him for intervening but he insists that it was gorilla
number one that had saved me. He had only helped. I was at a loss to figure
why?
When George tells me that Leonard
is dead I make up my mind and decide we need to leave. If the gorillas come
back I am dead meat.
George gathers my clothes and
helps me to my feet while Tina keeps watch. I begin the slow process of
dressing. After a few moments of struggle I fall back on the bed and ask George
to tie my shoe laces. I still feel as weak as a strand of candyfloss. I ask
George if there is a way to sneak out unseen but he thinks not - we will have
to go by reception. He muses over the idea that at the other side of the main
ward there would be an emergency exit but that would mean passing the nursing
station and it is definitely manned - so the reception it has to be.
I pull on my coat and lift up my
collar. I stand up and George takes my left arm and Tina my right and we walk
out into the corridor.
It is quiet now that the visitors
are gabbing with the patients. We turn and walk in the direction of the
reception but even after a few steps I know I’m little more than dead weight to
my partners. I knuckle down and force some strength into my legs and try to
take some weight from them.
As we approach the reception Tina
has an idea. She asks if George and I could manage for a few yards. I doubt it
but we will give it a go. She races ahead and vanishes in the direction of the
reception desk. George and I keep walking. Well he walks and I kind of drag.
When we emerge into sight of the
reception Tina has the receptionist engaged in deep conversation. Angling
herself between the receptionist and us Tina moves slowly round as we crawl
across the open space. It is agonisingly slow progress but we make it to the
far side and seconds later Tina joins us and I thank her. There is something
seriously bright about this woman.
Ahead are the stairs to the
ground floor and next to them the lift. I ask if we can take the lift and they both
agree. When it arrives we stand back as an orderly rolls out a lady on a dolly
stretcher. We get in and the lift slides at hospital pace to the ground floor.
When the door opens I ask George how far to the car. He says not far. I don’t
believe him.
We stagger out onto another
corridor and begin following the signs for the exit but after less than a
couple of minutes I ask if I can sit down. Gratefully Tina and George drop me
into a plastic chair and flop into the chairs on either side. I ask for a glass
of water and Tina goes off to get one from a machine a little way down the
corridor. I take the opportunity to tell George that this isn’t working. I’m
not sure I can stand, never mind walk. Tina returns and listens to what I am
saying. She thinks for a second and then tells me she will be right back. As I
wait I sip at the water. It tastes warm and antiseptic. George asks where Tina
is going and I shrug my shoulders. Even that takes too much effort.
Tina re-appears with an empty
wheel chair - the girl’s a genius. Tina and George leverage me into it and
start pushing me to the exit.
We turn a corner and we are in
the main entrance. The place is alive. People waiting on chairs, people
standing in queues, people dying on trolleys. All walks of life are on a par
here. Rich or poor, there are no shortcuts to treatment on the NHS. If you want
priority go private.
Standing at the exit doors are
the two gorillas. I spot them before they see us and I give George the heads up
in a quick way. He wheels me one eighty and we vanish back round the corner.
George figures there has to be another way out. Tina disagrees. She thinks
hospitals are not far short of prison status nowadays and I think she might be
right. I have an idea and tell Tina to get a blanket. She nips off and returns
two minutes later without a blanket but with a nurse in tow asking what the
hell she is up to.
I tell the nurse that I was cold
and that I am on my way home. She looks at me and I can tell she thinks I’m way
too ill to be heading out. She starts into question mode and we have a shed
load of the wrong answers but then again this isn’t a police state so I tell
George to get me out of here. What about the gorillas he asks? Just go. He
shakes his head, ignores the nurse and pushes me back into the chaos that is
the entrance. He keeps his head down and pushes straight for the door but we
have a ranting nurse acting as an escort and we become the grand centre of
attention double quick as the nurse tells us to wait in a loud and
authoritative voice. George ignores her and I look up just as gorilla number
one spots us.
I tell George to put his foot
down and we exit the hospital at a full tilt. George swings me to the left and
Tina rushes out behind us - followed by the nurse. Ten seconds later and the
two gorillas are out as well. We are moving at speed parallel to the hospital
and George is aided in his pushing by a slight downhill and keeps up a pace. I
spot a police car parked at the bottom of the hill. Two policemen are talking
next to it. Tina catches up and turns my wheelchair in their direction and
forces George to make for them.
We slide to a halt a few yards
short of the chatting police. I have no idea what Tina is doing. I look round
and see the nurse still standing at the door but the gorillas are right on our
tail. Tina coughs and excuses herself and one of the policemen turns round. She
points to the two gorillas and, casual as you like, says that they seem to be
following us. The policeman cocks his head and makes her repeat what she has
just said. The second policeman turns round, surveys the three of us and then
looks in the gorillas’ direction. The first policeman asks what she means by
following us and Tina turns round and points at the gorillas. ‘Ask them.’
The gorillas put on the full
brakes. The policeman shouts after them and they go into reverse. The policeman
shouts again and the gorillas do the hundred yards in Olympic time and vanish
into the car park. It then takes ten minutes to convince the police that we
don’t know who the men in the suits are.
Tina tells the policemen that we
had seen them on the way in and that they had started following us on the way
out. The policemen tell us to call if they turn up again and let us go. The
fact we were so willing to go makes the policemen suspicious. If we were
genuine we wouldn’t just walk, we would have been at them to do something about
the two men. I don’t care. All I want to do is to get away. George pushes on
and we don’t look back.
Tina’s car is parked a couple of
streets away and as we head for it all three of us do a great deal of rubber
necking to see if the gorillas are following. We get to the car and I am
bundled into the back. There is no room for the wheel chair and we abandon it
on the street and Tina takes off.
George wants to go back to his
flat. Tina disagrees. I’m with Tina. If the gorillas have picked us up since we
left the policemen the last thing we want to do is lead them to one of our
houses. Tina drops on to the M8, heading for Edinburgh. We pass a couple of junctions
and then with no warning, she throws a left at the last moment and screeches up
the next off ramp. At the top she jumps a set of red lights, turns left and
hauls the car into the car park for the Fort Shopping Mall. She cuts through
the car park and at the far end finds a space and pulls in.
She orders us out of the car and
George seems surprised at her abrasive nature. George and Tina haul me to my
feet and drag me, under Tina’s directions into a nearby Starbucks. I’m pushed
into a mock leather armchair and Tina tells George to order up three anythings.
He ambles off and Tina sits in the chair next to me. I sense a conversation
coming on.
I ain’t up to this running lark
anymore. Bally might be but this is too much like hard work. That and the close
shave with the pigs. None of it adds up to easy money.
Bally is breathing hard next to
me. I’m down on my haunches and he is looking back to see if we were followed.
We had hit the car park and then kept running and only stopped when we got to
the cathedral. I look up at the building. I’m not big on churches. They don’t
agree with me but this one is nice enough. I don’t know much about it other
than it is called Glasgow Cathedral and the monks who used to live here started
life brewing beer. Seems like a good idea to me. Not sure how churchy it is but
booze is never a bad idea. I know that Wellpark Brewery is not far from the
cathedral. Now there is a place that would be worth a visit. Home of Tennent’s
Lager - my drink of choice. ‘Brewed in Glasgow since 1885’. See I told you I
was good at remembering things. I wonder if they do tours and I ask Bally. He
looks at me with that ‘piss off and die’ look that I seem to get on a regular
basis. I can’t see the issue. We’ve lost the vic and might as well do something
useful.