Falling Awake (16 page)

“There’s something he’s not telling me. I can feel it. I know you think I barely know him, but I spend nearly every day with him, and he’s definitely got secrets.”

I stared at her impassively as she turned her straw in her soda looking despondent. She was too perceptive for her own good.

“He’s seeing someone else,” she said, meeting my eyes with her own sorrowful ones, and I forced down a chortle of relief.

“You think he’s seeing someone else?”

“I know he is.”

“You don’t know he is. And he isn’t.” I felt guilty keeping something from her that was making her come to other more ominous conclusions. If I could just tell her the truth, then she would see how so utterly wrong she was.

“Drake’s crazy about you. He wouldn’t do something like that, trust me. He’s a good guy,” I went on, seeing her face of doubt.

“The best in fact. Do you think I would let my best friend be with someone who I suspected to be a snake?”

She laughed softly.

“No I wouldn’t. So trust him please? And if you are seriously doubting him, then just talk to him about it. Don’t find your way to the supposed truth without him helping you get there. Promise me you’ll talk to him?”

“I’ll talk to him,” she said, brightening up a little bit.

“He is a good guy. Sometimes I think he’s too good to be true.”

“I know what you mean,” I said, with one hundred percent understanding.

My eyes automatically fell over the crowds seeking out Caleb, and as if sensing my subconscious pining for him, he stepped through the masses. His genuine lopsided smile reached his glinting green grey eyes, and I all but melted under their severity, and uniqueness. He never failed to pluck a reaction from me, even when I thought I must surely have used them all up.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked me.

“Sure,” I said, hopping down off the stool

“Drake’s waiting for you outside,” he said to Mellissa.

“Okay thanks.” She shimmied her tiny frame off the stool.

“Remember what I said,” I reminded her

“I know. I’ll do it tonight. I promise.”

“Okay good.” She kissed me on the cheek then reached up onto her tip toes and put her hand on Caleb’s shoulder, kissing him on the cheek too.

“Bye guys.” She walked away and then stopped, turning back towards me.

“Just so you know-“

She looked from me to Caleb. “I would never let my best friend date a snake either.” She gave me a small smile and then left.

Caleb raised his eyebrow at me, but I just smiled and shrugged. Maybe Mellissa didn’t think Caleb was so bad after all.

“Come on then,” I said. “Let’s go.”

I edged my body past the standing groups of people and Caleb followed close behind. I pushed open the double glass doors to leave, and without meaning to, I glanced behind me at the empty booth where we’d been sitting earlier.

“Ressler already left with Tamara,” Caleb said to me warily, like the words would somehow affect me. He looked down at me, his eyes darkened with questioning and suspicion. Well it was either that, or the guilt was making me paranoid.

“Oh,” was all I said, and I broke through the doors free of the stuffiness and roaring music, which seemed much louder because of people trying to be heard over it.

“I’m staying at your house tonight,” he said, climbing into the truck

“Why?” I asked, keeping my eyes on him as he started the engine.

“Because I want to.”

***

I lay in bed on my side propped up on one elbow, the covers a tangle in-between my legs. Caleb sat next to me with his back resting against the soft headboard and his legs straight out in front of him, still fully clothed.

I changed into shorts and a tank top, and secured my hair into a makeshift knot. The air outside was cool, but still too warm for me, and I had the window slightly ajar.

“So what did you need to speak to Ressler about?” I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. I pushed my foot in and out of the duvet.

“About you.” He looked straight at me.

“After what happened tonight, I think the best thing for you is to go to Paris. The distance will be a good thing.”

“So you’re coming then?” I asked, sitting up with hopefulness in my voice, crossing my legs in front of me.

“No I’m not.”

I didn’t understand. “But you want me to go? What about protecting me and all that crap?”

“It’s not crap, and Ressler will be there. He can look after you.” I stared at him in disbelief.

“Ressler will be there? How will Ressler be there? He doesn’t even go to school with us.”

He shifted forward looking less relaxed, one leg dropping to the floor.

“He has a place in Paris. He can keep an eye on things. Make sure you’re okay.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Do you know how Ressler feels about me?”

“That has nothing to do with it,” he said looking at me wistfully.

“All I care about is you- your safety.”

“Then why don’t you come with me?”

“Because I need to stay here. I need to find out who’s behind this, and I need to make sure your dad’s safe. He might not be a direct threat, but he’s linked to you, and I need to make sure he stays well out of it.”

I thawed somewhat at the mention of my dad, and huffed out a heavy sigh.

“So you’re going to play the dad card?”

“It’s not a card. He’s not just your dad, he’s my friend.”

I considered what he was saying carefully, and I knew he was right. My dad was almost just as much a part of this as me. What if he was used in some way to get to me? I shuddered at the thought.

I also knew that if Caleb was leaving me un-chaperoned with Ressler, then I needed to do what I was about to do next.

I moved up onto my knees, and shuffled over to where Caleb sat. I pulled his leg back onto the bed and slid my own leg over him so I sat straddling him.

He watched me closely as I slowly brushed my hands up over his t-shirt and down over his defined arms. Then grabbing the ends of his top, I pulled it up slowly over his body, and then over his head, throwing it onto the floor.

I marvelled at the perfection of his body, every single smooth mound of it as he kept his eyes level with my face. I put my hand up to his chest, the beating of his heart steady beneath my fingertips.

I needed the image of him with me always if I was going to be away from him. I needed not to forget how his polished golden body felt like cool silk under my fingers.

“I know how you feel about Ressler too,” he said quietly, his heartbeat never faltering under my fingers, unlike my own that sped up significantly.

“It’s nowhere near what I feel for you.”

“Don’t lie to me.” I drew my hands away from him and sat back resting on his long legs.

“I’m not lying to you. You have no idea what I’m feeling.”

He tensed visibly in front of me, and the muscle in his jaw jumped.

“I want you tell me. I want you to tell me how you feel about him. I need to hear it from you.”

I flexed my fingers at either side of his legs and watched them moving in a trance. I didn’t want to have this conversation, not really. I hadn’t wanted to admit to myself the reactions Ressler had been stirring inside me, never mind to Caleb.

I clenched my hands tightly.

“I like him, yes,” I admitted, still staring down at my hands.

“But I would never do anything about it. I don’t want anything to happen between us. I just want you.” He grabbed me then, and pulled me forward, his arms locked around my waist, and I sat pressed up against his solid bare chest.

“That night at the bar. That was about you. I was pissed seeing you and Ressler together. Then Terry started winding me up, and I just flipped out. I know I said you and I can’t be together, but I’m not overly keen on you being with anyone else either.”

I smiled down into his face that had never looked more vulnerable than it did right now.

“This, what we’re doing right now,” I said, resting my hands on his broad shoulders, tracing the lines of his tattoo.

“This honesty is going to help us get through this shitty friendship.”

His body shuddered under me with laughter.

“We both have boundaries, and if we’re going to help each other, we need to respect them. I don’t want to hurt you, and I know the last thing you want is to hurt me.”

I sat up and manoeuvred myself so I was propped up against the side of his body, locked under his arm. My own arm draped across him as he hugged me tightly. Sleep was beginning to creep up on me, and I closed my eyes only for a moment as he ran his fingers up and down my arm, the action spiking all of my nerve endings at once.

“You’re going to be okay Pria,” he whispered.

“Were going to be okay.” And I nodded as slumber pulled me further down into dullness.

“Are you staying?” I asked, smiling with my eyes still closed.

“Sshh go to sleep,” he said. And I did. I slept all night cuddled up to everything I could wish for.

A
fter over eleven hours of travelling, we were finally in Paris. I sprawled out on the double bed flat on my back, relishing the comfort of the cool cotton sheets under my too sweaty body. I was desperate for a shower after so long on the plane, but that would have to take a back seat for now. I was exhausted.

We boarded our flight at ten thirty pm, and it was now one thirty pm Paris time.

I desperately needed to sleep, but my hand fell idly over my IPhone, which now held Caleb’s phone number. I wanted more than anything to text him. I missed him so much, and this was only my first day away from him.

He promised he would call me every night to make sure I was okay, and he would keep me updated if he found anything out, or if anything else happened.

I’d already called my dad from the airport to let him know I’d arrived safely, and he said he would let Caleb know because he’d seemed anxious, and unfocused on his work. He said he’d tried to send him home, but he downright refused, saying he needed to keep busy.

I took comfort and major happiness over the fact that my dad said he sensed it was because of my leaving.

I knew Ressler was here already, but I didn’t know where, or if I would even see him. All I had was his phone number in case I needed him. I hoped I wouldn’t. I really didn’t need to be spending any time around him right now with my emotions running so high from pining for Caleb.

The hotel room door opened and Mellissa burst through backwards, pulling a humongous suitcase. She dropped it as soon as she got into the room, and puffed out a massive breath as if she’d been holding it all the way up here.

“Oh my god that’s heavy,” she panted.

“There’s people to do that for you, you know.” I pointed at my own suitcase propped up against the side of the bed.

“Now you tell me.” She climbed onto the bed next to me.

“Move over, I’m dying here.” I shimmied over and she flattened out on her back the same as me.

I was more than ecstatic when she told me she was coming on the trip. I knew it must have killed her to swallow her massive pride and tell Mr Kelly she could use the tutoring. Truth was, she couldn’t stand not having her best friend for a week. Well, she couldn’t stand me being in Paris and her missing it.

I’d nearly choked on my dinner when she called me and said she was coming. I didn’t think it was possible for her to leave Drake for so long, but of no surprise to me, he actually encouraged it. I guessed he must also want her out of the way, and he would more than likely be with Caleb most of the time anyway.

“Are you missing Drake yet?” I asked her, tracing the lines of the detailed architecture carved into the ceiling with my eyes.

“Are you missing Caleb yet?”

“Yes,” I admitted.

“Me too.”

“You’re missing Caleb?” I teased. I nudged her playfully in the leg with my own.

“No. Drake you asshole.” She slapped me on the leg.

“Ouch.” I rubbed away the stinging sensation.

“You don’t know your own strength.”

“Who doesn’t?” she said, smiling at me.

I rolled over onto my side, facing away from her. We had nothing planned today because of the long journey. The only place we needed to be, was down at the dining hall for dinner at six tonight.

“You’re a real bitch Mellissa, but lucky for you, I’m worn out. So if you’re any kind of a friend at all, you’ll join me in a much deserved nap,” I said, burrowing my head deeper into the super soft pillows, making myself comfortable.

Mellissa nuzzled in next to me.

“That sound’s good,” she mumbled, and ten minutes later I drifted off to the sound of Mellissa’s soft snoring.

After showering and changing into a short, cherry red playsuit, I brushed my hair through, and alongside Mellissa, made my way down to the dining hall.

Dinner was over fairly quickly and I felt much happier after filling my stomach with vegetable soup for starters, then a plain and simple cheese sandwich. I passed on the sponge pudding dessert, and Mellissa and I ventured outside to the courtyard.

We had two hours of recreational time before we would be holed back up in our bedrooms with an eight pm curfew. We weren’t allowed any further than the grounds of the hotel, so we settled ourselves on a bench looking across over the beautiful flower gardens that lined the cobbled pathways.

“So how are you going to cope with four days away from Drake?” I asked Mellissa, pulling my legs up and crossing them under me.

“Well for one, I’ve bought a phone card. So in about ten minutes I’m going to call him from the hotel payphone.”

I had my own phone card, but I knew I would never use it to call Caleb. My dad bought it for me, and his was about the only number I planned on calling with it. “He better be missing me,” she threatened.

“You haven’t even been gone a day.” I looked at her sideways.

She brushed her bangs behind her ears. “So?”

“So give him time to miss you.”

“What do you think he’s doing right now?”

“What time is it there?” I asked myself, mentally deducting six hours from our current time.

“Dinnertime? Early afternoon?” she suggested.

I really didn’t have a clue what he would be doing. Killing someone? Mingling with other fallen angels? Spending time with the gorgeous Leah? The possibilities were endless.

“Probably having dinner,” I said instead.

“Yeah probably,” she agreed. “I cornered him about what we spoke about that night at jets by the way.”

“What did you say to him?” My pulse fast-tracked at the thought of him having possibly told her the truth. Wouldn’t she have said something to me by now already if she knew? I found myself wishing he had told her, so I could stop keeping secrets from her.

“I just came straight out with it and asked him if he was cheating on me.” I didn’t need to hear the answer he gave to know he was absolutely not cheating on her. I struggled to see when he would even find the time.

A smile lit up her face. “He said he wouldn’t be able to find anyone sexier, funnier, or more interesting than me even if he tried. And, he said he’s searched for what feels like a lifetime.”

Now that, I could believe.

She bit down on her lower lip. Her happiness was infectious and I broke out into a smile of my own. “I told you he wasn’t cheating on you. He adores you.”

“I like him more than I’ve ever liked anyone,” she confessed. “I really think I could love him.”

“Well you guys are great together.” I meant it; they were perfect. Practically made for each other. Even though I was insanely happy for her, I could have said that exact same thing about Caleb, but I couldn’t- he wouldn’t let me, and I couldn’t help but feel bothered by it.

“So who’s in your study group with you?” I asked, before I let myself slip into that person I didn’t want to be.

“Um, I don’t know their names, apart from Jeremy Franklin who’s in my English class, and to be honest I can’t say I care. I’m not here to study.”

“I don’t really know my group either, apart from Nathan and Carrie McDougall.”

“You mean Carrie Mcgoogle,” Mellissa corrected me, making two circles with her fingers and bringing them up to her eyes, imitating a pair of round glasses. She forced her eyes to cross over in the middle.

“That eye is about as straight as bowling ball. I don’t know how you can look at her with a straight face.” She burst out laughing. “Ha, straight face, get it? Wonky eye? No?”

I watched her in amusement, my brows scrunched together as she laughed herself into a fit.

“It’s too bad you got stuck with Nathan,” Mellissa said, when she finally calmed down. “Could you not have been re-assigned to a different group after what that creep did to you?” Her face was now creased with disgust.

“I tried, but Mr Kelly was adamant Nathan needed me to partner with him.”

“That’s because he’s as dumb as a tin can,” Mellissa said, checking her watch, her leg crossed over her knee and shaking at a rapidly increasing speed.

“Why don’t you just go and call him now?” I said, rolling my eyes.

“You know what Jensen? That is a good idea. I’ll be right back.” And she dashed off over to the lobby area, and into the brightly lit building.

The sun was low in the sky, not even visible to me anymore behind the structure of the old hotel, but it was still light out, the street lamps not yet lit.

My eyes rolled over the courtyard, and up over the windows of the hotel. Most rooms twinkled with light from the small vintage lamps inside the room, but some were blank with darkness. I calculated the room numbers and positions, and spotted my own in the very centre row, looking directly out to where I sat now. I was sure that was my room because I’d looked out at this very view earlier, and even though the gardens were beautiful enough, I had really wanted a front facing room that looked out over the streets of Paris.

The breeze picked up slightly and the thin lace curtains billowed out through the open window. I shivered watching the notion, and tried to recall when I’d opened the window. I was pretty sure I hadn’t, and I couldn’t remember Mellissa doing it either. She was too busy filling her face full of makeup she didn’t need.

I watched the curtains pick up again, carried gently by the cool air. It was a warm enough night, but something made the hairs on the back of my neck and my arms stand on end. My bedroom window gave way to nothing but darkness and I squinted my eyes to see harder into the gloominess. I couldn’t see anything. I must have opened the window and forgot that I’d done it.

I turned to look behind me at the sound of voices, where some of the other kids from the trip congregated in the lobby area chatting loudly. I ignored them and looked back up to my room where the curtains still swayed steadily.

My breath stopped as I looked into a face that was caught between the lace curtains, standing stock still in the blackness. I couldn’t make out any features, just the dark outline of a head and shoulders. There was someone in my room, watching me. I blinked hard and the figure was gone.

“What on earth…” I whispered. I studied the now empty window hard, but the face never re-appeared. Without thinking, I jumped up and ran into the hotel, through the crowded lobby, and past the payphone where Mellissa still stood talking, twirling the phone cord in her hand.

I flew up the four flights of stairs as quickly as I could, and plunged my key card into the lock. The light flashed green and I threw open the door.

My heart was pounding in my chest as my eyes adjusted to contents in the empty room. Even though it wasn’t totally dark, I flipped the light switch and the room became bathed in fluorescent light. I stepped in cautiously and I jumped as the door slammed heavily behind me.

I walked over to where I was sure someone was standing only moments ago, and I bent over ready to look out, but stopped suddenly at the sight of the closed window in front of me.

This window was open. That, I was sure of.

It was unlocked and I pushed it up, shoving my head out, scanning the courtyard. There was no one there aside from a few students huddled down by a bush enjoying a sly cigarette. The curls of creamy smoke were illuminated against the royal blue sky, and it wouldn’t be long before someone smelled the awful stench and put out their fun. I really hoped that would be sometime soon, because Nathan was one of the offenders.

Ignoring them, I stuck my head further out checking both directions of the courtyard, but there was nothing, and no one to see. I banged the window shut and locked it, checking every inch of the hotel room before finally settling in the desk chair and going over the whole thing in my head.

I was still scrutinizing every last detail when Mellissa walked in a half hour later. I decided not to tell her about what I saw and scare her unnecessarily when I couldn’t prove anything, and I settled for calling Ressler instead. I asked him to meet me at the hotel tomorrow night. He was the only one who would be of any help to me right now.

That night as I drifted in and out of sleep under the security of my mom’s dream catcher, I finally slipped into mind numbing darkness.

I found myself back in the cove, sitting up on the grey rock with my white nightgown strewn around me. It hung over the edge of the rock, soaked by the sea. Caleb crouched down in front of me on one knee guarding whatever was behind his back. I reached out frantically and tried to grab whatever he had, but the harder I reached, the further away it seemed to get.

“If you can’t reach it, you’re not ready,” he said, his voice as smooth as silk.

“But I need it,” I protested. “Someone’s here with me right now. It’s the only thing that can help me.”

“It’s too soon,” he said, standing up straight.

“Whose here with me?” I asked him, my heart thrumming in my chest as sweat began to streak my brow. “I’m too afraid to open my eyes.”

“Only the shadows,” he simply said, and then faded from view as my eyes sprang open to a foggy black silhouette leaning over me. I blinked, and it evaporated into wispy curls of smoke, leaving nothing of its-self behind.