Falling (Bits and Pieces, Book 1) (41 page)

When Kraig opened his door, I could hear him say, “Take it easy, man. Sorry about Becca. Let me know if you want to go paint-balling or something tomorrow.” Guys. I guess that’s their way of supporting each other. Kraig got in and started the engine. We waited for Patrick to start his car before we drove off.

“Thanks for taking me to the dance.” I told Kraig.

“No problem. I’m glad you had fun. I did, too.” He replied.

“I’m…
 
uhh… sorry about what happened earlier.” I was hesitant to bring it up, but I wanted to apologize for making his evening different than what we originally planned.

“Don’t worry, my toes will recover.” He snickered.

“What?! I didn’t step on your toes. I’m not
that
bad.” I exclaimed.

“No? That wasn’t you? Hmm… maybe it was some other girl I danced with tonight. Then what?” He glanced over at me with a sly grin on his face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about then.”

I guess that was his way to let me know he considered it forgotten. I said the only thing that came to mind, “Thanks.”

When we got to my house, he unbuckled his seat belt. I looked at him, slightly confused, but a little relieved. “Patrick made me promise to walk you to the door and make sure that you got in okay.”

I couldn’t help but smile. We got to the porch and I unlocked the door. I gave him a quick hug, “Thanks again, you’re a good friend.”

“You’re welcome. Anytime. Good night.”

“Night.” I walked inside and locked the door behind me. A few seconds later, I heard his car door close and his car drive away. Instead of my usual silence when I entered the house, I was unusually loud, to let my parents know I was home on time. When I got to the hallway, I glanced at their bedroom door and the light that flickered underneath from the television was suddenly gone. Whoever, waited up, probably my dad, knew I was home and shut off the television to go to sleep.

I quickly got ready for bed and hurried back to my room. Shortly after I climbed into bed, my cell phone rang. It was Patrick.

“Hello.”

“Hey, Liz… you get home okay?” He sounded distant.

“Yeah…” I guess he still wanted a distraction.

“Did he walk you to the door?”

“Yes. You’ll be glad to know that Kraig followed your directions. He walked me to the door, waited until I was inside, and the door was locked before leaving.”

“Good. How was your night?”

“If you don’t include me freaking out, it was pretty good.”

“I saw that you did go out there and dance. I thought you said you didn’t dance.” He teased me.

“Well, Kraig convinced me that I couldn’t really screw up slow dancing and that he could still watch my back, so no one could sneak up on me.” I laughed. “Literally.”

Patrick chuckled, “That’s true.”

“I had fun. I’m glad I stayed.” The night did get better, for the most part, with the exception of Becca giving me a hard time.

“That’s good. I’m glad you did, too.” He paused. “I just wanted to make sure that you got home okay and see how you were doing.”

“Patrick, are you okay?” There was something in his voice that seemed like he was trying hard to be normal. I knew that sound well, but usually it was from my own voice.

“I’m alright. Tired, I guess.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I agreed with his sister Lindsey. I didn’t understand what Patrick saw in Becca, and why he didn’t see what his family saw in her. But I didn’t want him to hurt and right now, he was.

“Not now. It’s late. We’ve had a long day. Can we talk tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Of course. Anytime.

“You doing anything?”

“Nope. Nothing really planned.” I was so caught up with the Winter Formal, getting permission and stuff that I hadn’t thought about the rest of the weekend.

“Hmm…” He was quiet for a moment. “How about I pick you up around 10? Is that too early?”

“Whenever you want, ten is fine.” Even though it was late, and I was tired, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep in.

“Okay. I’ll pick you up then.” He sighed. “Good night.”

“Night.” I closed my cell phone. I laid in bed going over everything that happened tonight. I didn’t see Patrick many times at the dance, but when I did, he didn’t seem… happy. Something was off. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I finally fell victim to exhaustion and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, promptly at 10:00 am, Patrick was at the door. On the surface, he seemed more like himself, but I could tell, he wasn’t.

“Morning.”

“Morning. You ready to go?” He asked. There was still something sad and distant in his voice.

“Yeah. All set.” I grabbed my backpack and closed the door behind me. As we walked to his car, I wondered out loud, “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” He simply said. He glanced over to me, “A place I like to go when I need to think.” We got to his car and he opened the door. “If that’s okay.”

I got in, “That’s fine. Whatever you want to do.” Patrick nodded and shut the door.

We drove off to the west. He handed me his CD folder. “Pick something you want to listen to.”

I looked through the CDs and found something to listen to. I placed it in the CD player. “Hmm. I should have known.” Patrick shook his head and laughed. I was glad I could do
something
to make him smile.

“What?” I asked innocently. “You said… I can change it.” I started to flip through the CD case again.

He put his hand on the case, “No. It’s fine. I just meant that… I knew you’d pick that CD. It’s… so… you.” Patrick quickly added, “I mean that in a good way.”

I smiled, “I like this music.”

 
“I know.”

“Besides, I could use the practice before the concert.”

“No, you
want
to practice, ‘cause you’re an overachiever.” He teased.

“Well… yeah.” I admitted. It was true. If I was going to do something, I wanted to do my best at it. Never mind that I really loved to sing. So, it never really felt like practice to me. “But I don’t want to subject you to anything…”

“Go ahead.” He glanced at me as he continued to drive, “I could use the distraction.”

I sang along with a few of the songs that played as we drove to our destination. We had driven as far west as we could go. Patrick pulled off to the side and parked in the dirt. There were no other cars around. We got out of the car and I smelled the ocean breeze. The only sound I heard was the waves crashing below. It was beautiful and calming there.

“This place is beautiful. Where are we?”

“Just north of Moonlight Bluffs.” He looked at me and saw I was wide-eyed, taking in everything. “Nice, huh?”

“Uh. Yeah. It’s amazing.” We started walking to a big boulder near the edge of the bluff.

“I usually come here when I want to be alone and think. The guys don’t even know about this place. No one does. Or did.” His lips tightened.

I pretend to zip my lips, “They won’t hear it from me.”

Patrick and I sat down on the ground and leaned up against the boulder, looking out over the ocean. We sat quietly for a few minutes, just watching the waves. I wanted to say something, but decided against it. I figured he went here to think, and I should let him think. I was just glad that he was letting me be there for him.

He finally broke the silence, “Sorry Becca was being a bitch about the pictures. She shouldn’t have done that.”

“You’re not responsible for what she does. But thanks.” I wondered if this was his way of getting around to what happened. “That… wasn’t what you fought about, was it?”

“It came up. But, no, not really.” He sighed and was quiet.

I was glad it wasn’t. It was really unlike him to be this quiet. I know whatever happened really upset him, but I didn’t want to push. “If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”

We sat in silence for another minute. Finally, Patrick spoke. “It’s not that I don’t want to, well, I kinda don’t. But it’s not easy to. I don’t know what to do…” He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

“If it’s easier to talk to one of the guys, I understand. It’s okay.” I offered.

“No.” He quickly said. “Do you remember that stuff that Bobby and Jason were saying to me when I got to the diner?”

“Kinda. But I didn’t really get what they were saying.”

“You wouldn’t.” He said with a chuckle. “If you did, this would be easier. But it’s nice you didn’t.”

I thought about Bobby and Jason. “They said stuff earlier that I didn’t understand. Emily and Cassie kept hitting them.”

“I’m sure they did.” He picked up a stick and drew figure eights in the dirt. Patrick took a deep breath and exhaled. “So, after the dance, I had planned to go to the diner with everyone. Becca had… a different plan.” He stopped doodling with the stick and stared out to sea.

She had other plans? So, she changed her mind and instead of coming with us she wanted him to go with her friends? There had to be something I still wasn’t getting.

“She had… uh… gotten a room at the hotel.” He looked at me without turning his head.

Ahh… Now I got it, what her ‘other’ plans were. Boy, am I dense. I really shouldn’t be surprised. It made sense, the way she acted,
especially
last night. But, I guess, I didn’t actually think she’d try to do that. Huh.

“She told me that her friends were having an after party there and just wanted to stop by and say ‘hi’ before going to the diner. I figured, ‘Why not? We’d only be a few minutes late.’” He exhaled and shook his head. “When we got to the room, there was no party.”

I sat there watching Patrick. I could see how uncomfortable he was as he relived that moment. He couldn’t look at me.

“We had talked about it before. Well, she kept bringing it up… and… I had been able to… I don’t know… steer the conversation a different way… avoid it… About a month ago, when she brought it up again, I finally told her that… I didn’t want to rush into something like that. That wasn’t how I was brought up. Well, the last few weeks, she kept talking about a surprise she had for me… and she was really excited and knew I would be too. That she had a great night planned… that kind of thing.”

He exhaled, “That was her big surprise. A hotel room and sex. Anyway… she kept trying to… get me to change my mind. Acting all sweet and sorry about how she acted earlier, but how she really wanted me, to be with me.”

Patrick shook his head. “You see, Becca usually gets what she wants, when she wants it. I know that. I guess that’s why I started liking her in the beginning. There was something about her. I just never thought that she would do that to me. I always thought that she at least respected my opinion about things. Especially something like this.

“Becca kept telling me that she loved me and that she would prove it to me, if I let her. I kept telling her to stop… Yeah, she didn’t like that. She got really mad.
Really mad.
If you think you saw her mad about the pictures, that was nothing. I tried to stay calm, but she kept after me. We got into a big fight. She wanted to know what was wrong with her… with me… with us. It was like the time we talked about why I didn’t want to do it before never happened. I thought she understood, but she didn’t. Well, it was more like, she didn’t care. That’s what made me really mad. She really didn’t care what I thought. It became more and more clear that the only person she cared about was herself and I didn’t really matter. At least, not the way I wanted to.”