Falling for Autumn (11 page)

“Let’s go out this weekend. We’ll party hop and see if anyone catches your eye.”

“You just warned me about how awful college guys are.”

“We won’t pick super-hot guys to talk to. We’ll choose the marginally good-looking ones. They may eventually get a paunch and lose their hair, but at least they won’t be calling us for bail money in six months.”

I chuckled and then snuck a glance toward Blake. He was sitting with a few other players from the team we had seen before when eating together. I still felt the pull when I looked at him, but as time passed I was sure it would lessen. I was too smart to fall back into old patterns, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t go out and have fun with my new college friends.

“Okay, when do you want to go out?”

“How about Friday? My friend Amy is a sophomore with a car and she was planning to drive. I think the Football House is having a party, but we can skip it and go somewhere else.”

“It doesn’t matter. If Amy is driving, I’m not going to dictate where we can and can’t go.”

“It’s fine. I think Sig Chi is having a party too. We’ll stop by there and if it’s lame, we’ll move on.” Casey tugged on one of her blond curls and her face brightened as she planned our night. “We’re going to have so much fun, Autumn, I promise. By the end of the night, you’ll be like who the hell is Blake Preston?”

“You’re Blake Preston’s girl, right?”

“What?” I asked, appalled. “No.”

The guy shrugged and slunk away without another word. Since we arrived at the party, it felt like a line had been painted around me that no man dared to cross. I thought going to a party that wasn’t at the Football House would help me step away from Blake. But apparently, the men of Sig Chi were good friends with him and several other guys on the team.

At some point during our acquaintance, I’d apparently been linked to Blake. Although I insisted we weren’t together, no one wanted to be accused of stepping into Blake’s territory. If I’d been a casual fling, I had a feeling it would be fine. Since Blake and I had been seen together for several weeks, it was assumed I meant more than a casual hookup. They couldn’t be further from the truth.

Casey ran up to me breathless. She’d been dancing and drinking for hours and I’d been keeping an eye out for her. None of the guys at the party had held her interest and she floated around for most of the night. She was the one to give me a heads-up on the Blake brand after I noticed the strange behavior of the frat brothers.

The house was larger than the Football House, but with a similar three-floor layout. It was loud and crowded, but I still felt apart from it all. I had to keep giving myself a mental shake to try and make an effort.

“
Fucking Blake Preston
,” Casey sneered and collapsed against me. “You look gorgeous and that prick has ruined my efforts.”

Casey had decided it was makeover time for both of us and we spent hours dressing for the party. I had told her she was smoking crack when she tried to put me in a skirt, so she settled on a pair of jeans I owned and one of her tops. It was a red top with a scoop neckline and a back plunging below my shoulders. I wanted to keep my hair low-key, but Casey styled it in a low ponytail while adding textured waves. The style looked simple, but she had me sit like a statue forever as she added
volumizing spray, styling mousse, and super-hold hairspray to perfect the look. She was also good at applying makeup and we shared the same shade of bronze eye shadow and scarlet lipstick.

Casey’s friend Amy danced over to us and grabbed the water bottle out of my hand. Taking a long chug, she said, “This party is lame. Let’s blow it off and get some food at the diner.”

Amy and I had hit it off and I caught us rolling our eyes in sync with Casey’s outlandish remarks. Casey’s relationship ending had changed her and she was ready to explore what she felt she’d been missing. Although I teased her, her fearlessness was enviable.

“Fine by me,” I agreed.

“No way. There has to be someone here halfway decent.” Casey moved her head side to side. Finally, she stopped and turned back to me with a sly smile. “What’s that guy’s name who lives on the other side of the hall and orders Chinese food like every night?”

“Will?”

“Yeah, don’t you talk to him sometimes?”

“Not really. He sometimes asks me if I want to order with him. Apparently the place he calls only delivers if you order a twenty-dollar minimum.”

“Well, maybe he wants to see your takeout menu tonight.”

“That’s the dumbest innuendo I ever heard.”

“Whatever, Autumn. He’s over by the staircase. At least say hi to him before we go.” She pushed me off before I could protest further.

Somewhere along the way I’d become uncomfortable in my own skin and the idea of flirting was a completely foreign concept. I made my way over to Will and felt more at ease when I noticed his welcoming smile.

“Hey, Autumn, I thought that was you and Casey. What’s going on?”

“Nothing really. How are you?”

“I’m all right. Been studying for midterms all week. I’ve been barely pulling a C in my chemistry class and I’m a bio major.”

I made a sympathetic face. Will definitely fell in line with Casey’s requirements for the men we should look for. He wasn’t going to make me quiver with need after a single look, but he had a boyishly handsome face, with white blond hair and wide-set brown eyes. His smile was nice and he had a faint southern accent. As we began to commiserate about the difficulty of our classes, I realized how nice it was to turn down the intensity and have a normal conversation with a cute guy. We’d never exchanged more than a few words as I told him my Chinese food order and I was opening myself up to learning more about him. Within a few minutes of talking, I had found out he was the son of two schoolteachers who relocated from North Carolina to Maryland when he was in middle school. I began to give him my standard background information when I felt Casey knock against me.

“Autumn, we need to leave,” she hissed in my ear.

“Hi, Casey,” Will said.

Casey nodded a greeting, but kept her focus on me. “I’m serious, we have to go now.”

“Why?” Leave it to Casey to interrupt me when I started talking to the one guy who hadn’t treated me like I had the plague.

“Blake just got here and…he’s not alone.”

It took an effort, but I thought I succeeded at keeping a neutral expression. “So?”

“The Football House party got broken up early and a few of the guys came over. I saw him in the kitchen with a girl. The way she was hanging on him made it clear she was staking her claim for the night.”

“I don’t care,” I ground out. Will looked uncomfortable while I wished I had a gag to shove in Casey’s mouth. I appreciated the heads-up, but subtlety was not her strong suit. “Honestly, Blake and I were only friends. I’m not upset he’s here with someone.” I shot a smile I hoped was encouraging to Will, but by his expression, it probably came out looking deranged.

“Great!” Casey backed away. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone then. Come and find me if you want to take off.” Before turning back toward the throng of people, Casey gave me a meaningful look, conveying her happiness over my ability to move on.

“Are you and Casey close?”

I noticed Will watching Casey long after she left us. She rejoined Amy and they had their heads together, talking closely. His smile was shy as he watched her throw her head back, her laughter carrying over to where we stood.

“Yes. She makes me laugh and although she can come off as tough, she has a really big heart. I’ve been kind of down lately and she and my roommate have really helped me take my mind off of things.”

“She has a boyfriend, right?”

“No, they broke up.” The longing look on his face was all the convincing it took to see I wouldn’t be the one set up for the night.

I was about to motion Casey back over when the feeling of being watched diverted my attention. Every hair on the back of my neck prickled and I sighed, knowing an inevitable stare-down was about to take place. I was reminded of how Blake and I first met and wondered if we had come full circle as he likely shot daggers at me across the room. Refusing to let him interrupt my night any further, I looked expectantly at Will. “If you’re interested, I could talk to her for you.”

His cheeks colored. “I don’t think I’m Casey’s type.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Were you meeting up with Blake? It looks like he’s trying to get your attention.”

“No. What’s the deal with this school and him anyway? We’re in college, why does everyone give a shit about who Blake’s involved with?”

Will’s eyes doubled in size. “Because he’s the only reason our football team isn’t a bunch of scrubs. They lost more games than they won before he started playing. He’s sort of a celebrity around here.”

“It’s a sad state of affairs in our culture when being good at football gives him a god-like status at this school.”

“I thought you liked him.”

I inched forward and asked in a conspiratorial whisper, “Have you ever been screwed over by a girl? And then forced to see her move on? That’s how it feels right now for me.”

Will nodded. “That sucks. But think about how it must feel for her.” He looked discreetly over my shoulder before meeting my eyes. “She’s trying everything to get his attention and he can’t be bothered. I really doubt anyone could be clumsy enough to drop a purse so many times in the span of five minutes.”

I laughed. “I think I’ll probably take Casey up on that offer to leave early. But don’t worry, I’ll talk you up the entire ride home.”

He reached over and took my hand in his. He gave a gentle squeeze. I looked down at our hands intertwined and shot him a questioning look. He shrugged. “I was just thinking how much better it would’ve felt to have someone with me when I ran into the one who screwed me over.”

“You
really
want me to put in a good word.”

“Well, I thought it was a lost cause, but if she’s single now…”

“I’ll give you an insider tip. If you ask her out, don’t suggest Chinese food—she hates it. Offer to take her out for Mexican food and she’ll love you forever.”

“You’re the best,” he said. I was surprised when he abruptly dropped my hand. But I caught on quick when a familiar scent assaulted me from behind.

“Hi, do you mind if I steal Autumn for a minute?” The mixture of Blake’s woodsy cologne and citrusy deodorant intoxicated me when he moved in closer. His natural musk also created a longing that started deep in my belly and spread the more I breathed him in. His interruption caused an unwanted reaction in my body I wished I could subdue.

“Sure,” Will replied quickly.

My jaw went slack as I started at how quickly my savior deserted me. “Seriously?” I had thought we shared a moment and Will was handing me off without a backwards glance.

At least he had the decency to look contrite. “Sorry, but he asked nicely. Besides, I help run the school’s
sportsbook. Don’t want to do anything to mess up the spread for next year.”

“I swear I need to transfer to a new school.” I swung to face Blake. “What do you want?”

“Can I talk to you alone?” When I didn’t answer, he added, “It will only take a sec.”

I nodded and steeled myself. He was dressed in layers with a T-shirt and a hooded gray sweatshirt over it. His black pants molded perfectly to his body and I had to admit he looked incredible in everything he wore. He could put on a Hawaiian shirt and plaid shorts and still find a way to make it work.

Blake tilted his chin toward the stairway. “I’m friends with one of the guys who lives here. He won’t mind if we talk in his room.”

I rolled my eyes because I already knew about his tight friendships with the men of Sig Chi. I followed him up the stairs into the quiet section of the house. A few of the rooms were occupied, but the bass from below was muffled on the top level. A guy wearing a Sig Chi T-shirt came out of one of the bedrooms. He nodded to Blake before heading downstairs. Blake came to a vacated bedroom to the left of the stairwell and switched on the lights before entering. The room was sparsely furnished with a twin bed, desk, and dresser.

“How have you been?” Blake asked and stayed on his feet in the center of the room. I remained by the door and didn’t close it after passing through.

I mulled over my reply for a second before asking, “Is that what you needed to talk to me in private about?”

“No, but we haven’t talked in weeks and I wanted to see how you were. You told me to leave you alone and I was trying to respect that.”

“Then what are we doing up here?”

Blake stared at the ceiling. “I miss hanging out with you. I screwed up that morning and I want to fix things between us.”

“But why?” I clarified, “You’ve been telling me over and over again how you’re bad for me and I’ll end up hating you eventually. Why should I waste any more time on you if I’m only going to be hurt at the end?”

Blake’s eyes clouded over. “This probably doesn’t make much sense, but I’ve always done what’s expected of me. And hurting you just seemed to be the direction I was heading whether or not I wanted to.”

“You’re right, it doesn’t make sense to me.”

Blake had such a strange look on his face and I felt more than ever I wasn’t the only one with baggage. It was likely part of his draw—finding another human being who was as damaged as I was.

“When we met for the first time, I thought it was inevitable for me to hurt you. I figured the more time we spent together, the more likely it was you’d uncover all the bad shit everyone else in my life refuses to see.” His smile was weak. “But you called me on everything. When I was an asshole, you told me. You had no problem admitting you didn’t give two shits about how good I was at catching a ball. No one else does that and I liked it.”

“But what bad shit is there, Blake?”

“I feel like I’m ready to explode at any given moment. Like the pressure from my family and the team is going to make me crack. Sometimes, it takes so much effort to not give in. I went through a period where I was always picking fights and playing football was the only time I felt calm enough to function.”

“But what are you so angry about?”

“About my dad mostly.” I made a sympathetic noise in the back of my throat. Although he was a baby when his father died, it must’ve been hard never knowing his dad. “I love my mom and she’s done her best, but she’s a lot to deal with. She’s always pushing me and thinks football is going to be our way out of financial hell. I don’t think she realizes going pro is something that may never happen.”