Falling for Fate (43 page)

“M
s. Buchanan? Could I see you in my office please?”

The voice caused her heart to seize. She’d been expecting to see him at every turn and hadn’t. After letting her guard down for the first time in two weeks, there he was.

“S-sure.” She stood and smoothed her sand-colored pencil skirt. “Be right with you, Mr. Maxwell.”

He was right. This was torture. Absolute inhumane torture. The ‘no intracompany dating’ policy suddenly made perfect sense. When the announcement had been made that his father was retiring and he was moving up to CEO, she’d been somewhat relieved. Not seeing him should’ve helped. Yet…it didn’t. Seeing Keaton and Gwen give her the constant sad-puppy eyes like they wanted to cuddle her wounded heart had been bad enough. But seeing him was like a slap to the soul.

She tried not to notice the way his black suit pants fit the perfect curve of his ass or how broad his back was, stretching his gray button-down across his muscular shoulders. When she got closer, she realized that he was wearing her favorite red tie. It was like a bright-red cherry on a decadent hot fudge sundae she wasn’t allowed to have a bite of.

He stepped aside so that she could get on the elevator first. Once he was in the lavish, mahogany car with her, she held her breath so as not to inhale his intoxicating scent.

Everything they’d done together played out in her mind. How was she supposed to do this? Act like everything was business as usual with a man who’d seen her at her most vulnerable and exposed?

Glancing over at him, she saw that he too seemed to be struggling. His fists were clenched at his sides and his jaw ticked with every floor they passed.

“All the way at the top now, huh?” She tried to smile but had no idea if her mouth was cooperating.

“For now. Depends on what the board votes if I stay there or not.”

“They’d be crazy not to keep you,” she blurted out. “Um, I mean, you know. Like you said that first day, this is your family’s legacy. It means more to you than anyone else they could bring in.”

Dean nodded, keeping his eyes trained on the lighted numbers above the sealed doors as they continued their ascent.

When they stopped on the top floor, Dean extended his hand once more, letting her off first.

He’d told her that his mama had raised him right, and she had. Fate tried to meet his eyes, but he kept them off her.

Her heels clicked steadily on the hardwood floors as they made their way to his office. The entire set up was much grander than the floor she worked on. They passed through two French doors and an attractive woman wearing at headset at an enormous desk greeted them.

“Mr. Maxwell, your two-o’clock is here. I told him you’d be with him shortly, though now I’m wondering if perhaps you’ll need to reschedule.”

Fate didn’t recognize the woman, but either she was imagining it or the woman’s blue eyes were gleaming somewhat mischievously—as if she knew a secret.

“I hope that won’t be necessary, Regina. This shouldn’t take long.”

Dread settled onto Fate’s chest. Was he bringing her up here to fire her? Until now, she’d been so nervous that she hadn’t been quite sure what to expect.

Another set of double doors led to Dean’s new office, and the sight was breathtaking. The city skyscape created the perfect backdrop behind his desk. A large bar sat to one side, and black-and-white artistic portraits of various medical objects adorned the walls. It was incredible, yet, like the beach house, she could tell that the décor hadn’t been chosen by Dean. It had a sterile feel to it and lacked his warmth.

“Wow. That’s quite the view.”

Dean nodded. “I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet that this is my office.”

She could understand that. Some days, she sat on the sectional in her apartment and stared out the grandiose, rounded windows at the city, remembering her first few weeks in New York. She’d had to rent the cheapest hotel room available, a tiny closet above a Chinese restaurant. Compared to that, the loft she shared with Gwen was a fairytale castle she was immensely grateful for.

“Should I sit? Or is this going to be a short meeting?” She checked her watch. It was only ten minutes until his next appointment.

“It’s up to you. Whatever you feel comfortable with.”

Fate didn’t know how to explain that the only way she’d feel comfortable was in his arms. “I’m okay standing if that’s all right with you.”

Dean nodded and propped himself on the outside ledge of his desk. “I wanted to let you know that the health and wellness insurance addendum passed through HR and the program will be officially implemented after the first of the year.”

So she was here to talk business, then. She smiled, truly grateful that he’d kept his word and instituted the program. “That’s wonderful news. I’m glad to hear it.”

She hated how formal this felt, how much distance had grown between them in a few short weeks. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d just told him about what had happened with Trevor to begin with if things might have been different.

She opened her mouth to tell him so and he met her gaze with what looked like similar intentions.

“Dean,” she began while he said, “Fate.”

They both stifled awkward laughter.

“I didn’t just bring you up here to discuss the addendum or show off my fancy office.”

She smiled. “So then what did you bring me up here for?”

Heat flared in his eyes and she took a step back. How easy it would have been to let him back in, let him take her in the way the lust in his once-over indicated he wanted to. But her mother’s words had lodged themselves deep into her heart.

“I brought you up here to discuss what happened between us and to see how you felt about it.”

“How I felt about it? Um, I thought I was pretty clear. I enjoyed our time together. Thoroughly.”

His mouth curved. “Or rather, how you would feel about continuing it. We’d still have to be discreet here, but the beach house—”

“Wait. Stop. I’m sorry if I led you to believe differently, but I don’t think I can give you what you want.” She’d done more than let him inside her body. Even as careful as she’d been, she’d let him inside her heart.

Fate couldn’t handle another weekend of no-strings sex. As tempting as it would be—and, Lord help her, the offer would be nearly impossible not to accept—but Fate had learned the hard way. She wasn’t that kind of girl. She’d never be the Brynn on the other side of the door because she’d never come back for round two for the kind of connection that was only physical. Despite her promises to Dean and to herself, she hadn’t been able to keep her heart out of it.

And she was okay with that now. Because she knew it took more courage to love than it took to engage in meaningless sex that would only leave her feeling empty and discarded.

“We’re done here
,” he’d said. More than once.

She could still hear him saying it in her head.

“Fate, I—”

“Mr. Maxwell,” she interrupted briskly. “I love my job and I truly enjoy working here. I hope that we can move past what happened and keep our relationship strictly professional. I’d like to adhere to the company policies from here on out as to not give you or anyone else grounds to fire me.”

Dean winced as if she’d slapped him. “You think I would fire you? For sleeping with me or for not sleeping with me?”

“I-I don’t know. I didn’t necessarily mean that you would, I’d just rather not risk my—”

“Got it,” he said sharply. “You ran the cost-benefit analysis on us and decided it wasn’t worth it. I hear you loud and clear, Ms. Buchanan.”

“No. You don’t understand. I—”

“I think I understand fairly well. We had a good time that you’d rather not continue for job-related reasons. As CEO, I have to agree with you your decision. I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I understand. ”

She wasn’t sure he did, but his matter-of-fact tone made it seem like he had no interest in discussing it further. “Well, if that’s all you wanted, then I guess we’re done here.” She hadn’t meant to throw his words so carelessly back in his face.

He barely even seemed to register them. “Of course,” he said, walking her toward the door. “Thank you for your time.”

“Wait.” The conversation with her mom was still weighing heavily on her mind. She was taking the coward’s way out, letting Dean think this easy for her when, in reality, it was anything but. Deciding to put all of her cards on the table, she turned to face him. He was closer than she realized and there was no avoiding inhaling his warm, familiar scent. Her hands twitched at her sides, confused as to why they were no longer allowed to touch him.

“Something you care to add, Ms. Buchanan?” His lingering gaze was wary. His expression remained guarded while he waited for her to continue.

“I just want to be completely clear. We’re adults. We work together. There isn’t room in our relationship for silly misunderstandings because one or the other of us was afraid of being honest or getting hurt or hurting the other person.”

“I’d never hurt you if I could help it, Fate,” he said gently, his eyes tracing the edges of her face in the way she wished his fingertips would.

She took a deep breath and nodded. “Ditto.”

The word seemed to hit him in the chest and he took a step backward.

“I didn’t say that to hurt you, Dean. I said it because I feel the same way. Just like I didn’t turn down your offer of continuing our physical relationship because I didn’t enjoy myself. In fact, the opposite is true—I enjoyed myself far too much. Much more than I should have for a weekend that was supposed to help me get over my attraction to you.”

“But you don’t want to see me again? Outside of work, I mean.” He was beginning to look sufficiently confused.

“I don’t.” Fate nodded and swallowed her rising panic at exposing her feelings. “Because I can’t do no strings, Dean. I thought I could. I wanted to. I just can’t. That’s not me.”

“I think maybe I knew that already, Fate. Like it or not, our situation got a great deal more complicated the moment I tore through a barrier I didn’t expect to find inside the woman offering herself to a complete stranger on the beach.”

Her chest tightened at the memory. It was time to tell him exactly what had caused her to cross his path. “I caught Trevor with my best friend. I was engaged to him, as he pointed out the day you met. The night I met you should have been the night before my wedding. But it wasn’t. Instead, it was the night I called the whole thing off because I walked in on my future husband with the maid of honor and I told myself, ‘Never again.’ I watched my mother get used and discarded by men for most of my life. I was dead set on not becoming her.”

Dean’s brow lines deepened as he took in everything she said. “I see.”

“So I acted recklessly and on impulse and…well, you know the rest. Seeing you here threw me. Not to mention that fact that you’re my boss. What you proposed seemed ideal for the woman I was trying to be. But that’s not the woman I am.” Fate took a step toward the door. There. Now surely he would understand where she was coming from, why she couldn’t continue their lust-fueled affair.

“I’m trying to understand. So help me, I really am.” Dean ran a hand through his hair, sending light glinting off the face of his watch. “But between the woman you were, the woman you weren’t, and the woman you’re trying to be, I don’t know which of you I spent the weekend with.”

Fate almost laughed. “That makes two of us. We thought we were alone that weekend, but we weren’t. In a way, our parents were there. I was trying desperately not to behave like my mother and you were trying to escape any situation that made you feel like your father. It wasn’t fair to either of us and it got in the way.”

Dean nodded. “So let’s have a do-over. Let’s go back to the beach house, just you and me. The people we are now.” He took a step closer.

She shook her head and placed her hand on the door. She needed more distance to turn him down. “I can’t. You’re missing the point. I can’t do the meaningless fling. I don’t have it in me and I’m not sorry for that. I want more.”

Dean frowned intently. “How much more?”

“More than just taking what I can get until you’ve decided I’m all used up and you’re done fucking me.”

Dean’s eyes flashed quickly from predatory to pissed off. “I think I made it perfectly clear that I would never be done fucking you. And about more, I said I’d try. I’ve never done more before, but I can try, Fate.”

“You ran out on me, Dean. Every time I needed more than sex from you, you took off. And I understand why. I do. It’s just that I’m not looking for someone who’s willing to try more because I insist. I had that before and he was going to force himself to marry me. I need you to
want
more. I don’t just need someone who will hold me—I think I can find that easily enough. I’m looking for someone who won’t let go.”

With that, she opened the door and fled his office before her body agreed to put her heart through another round of torture.

O
ne week later, the interoffice memo came through email.

Dean Maxwell had been voted in as CEO of Maxwell Medical. Fate wanted to congratulate him, but she hadn’t seen him at work since their emotional encounter in his office.